"I'm flipping you off right now."


"Yeah. What's up, Tweek?"

"Dude, I don't get the shit we're doin' in c-calculus. You gotta help me," the blond sounded desperate, to say the least, his frequent GAH!s being a dead give-away. "If I fail that shitty test tomorrow, my dad's gonna beat me with the toaster."

"Um, okay. You wanna come over or something?"

"Yeah. I'll be right there, see ya."

Before the raven had a chance to say his goodbyes as well, Tweek had hung up. Flipping his mobile off, Craig made to clean his room. Not that it was really messy, just the occasional boxershort and cigarette butt lying around.

As he made to empty his ashtray out the window, the bell rang. Glaring at the front door and flipping it off before he opened it, the raven sighed when the twitchy mess that was Tweek stood there, his bag obviously heavy with books.

"Get in." Craig closed the door behind the blond and followed him to his room. Closing the door behind himself, the raven flopped down on his bed. "What is it you don't get?"


Craig flipped him off.

"S-Seriously, I need to pass that -gah!- test tomorrow," Tweek's voice had taken on a high-pitched notch, a little too girlishly for comfort. "A-and you understand it!"

Sighing, Craig pulled a thermos from his bedside table and handed it to the coffee-addict. Latley he'd started to carry one around with him too, just in case Tweek forgot his, which he frequently did, occupied with worrying about government conspiracies and the like. "So, what part don't you get? Sit down, dude."

"GAH!" sitting down on the couch, Tweek gave a violent shudder as he gulped down his first cup of coffee. "E-Everything! Starting from that weird sign looking like the stuff-GAH!- you use to hang christmas baubles to a tree, down to all the x-es and s-shit!"

"That 'weird thing' is the integral sign, moron. And the 'weird x-es' you need to define the function f-"


Craig flipped him off. "Dumb it down?"


"Okay, dude. Come here. " As soon as Tweek had shakily taken a seat beside him on the bed, Craig took out a pencil and paper, steadying them on Tweek's thigh, so his writing would still be legible The blond only GAH-ed at the close contact. "So, the integral sign is to show the interval in which you want to define your function." He drew it (∫) with an A and a B on top and bottom. "Those you need to define the upper limit and lower limit. Get it so far?"


"Look, dude the coordinate system is ..neverending. Okay?"

"Y-Yes." Again, the finger.

"So, if you want to draw the integral you define mathematically, you need to define some part of the function you want to draw. Because the function is infinite, too." Craig looked at Tweek for confirmation that he'd understood. "The function you want to integrate is called integrand. The part of the coordinate system it concerns is called domain of integration."

"O-okay. I get it that -GAH!- far."

"So, next thing you need after the basic integral sign is a function f you want to work with." He drew f(x). "And then, you need to write down the function in-"

"GAHH!" Tweek took another gulp of coffee before he pointed a shaky finger at the f. "Does every f-function have an integral?"

"Hm, no not every one. Those who have, though, are called integrable." Craig explained, frowning.

"What about the 'dx' thing, though?"

"It's the variable of integration. This is either an indication that x is a dummy variable of integration or an independent mathematical quantity -"

"GAHH! I gotta headache, dude..."

"But, you understood what I told you, right?"


"That should help a bit. I mean, it's just basic shit, but, better than nothing."

"C-Can you explain the christmas baubles- hook again?" Tweek emptied the rest of the thermos and stared at Craig.

Sighing, the raven flipped him off.

"The integral symbol is used to denote the integral in mathematics. In english speaking countries it leans to the right, in Germany and Austria it's straight and in Russia it tends to -"

Noticing that Tweek wasn't paying attention, Craig stopped explaining. The blond was gnawing on his nails, looking around the room in fear.

"There's no gnomes in here."

"B-but maybe … GNOBLINS! GAHH!" Shrieking loudly, Tweek jumped up from the bed and sunk down in the farthest corner from the door.

"What the feck are gnoblins, Tweek?" Craig asked, frowning slightly as he lit a cigarette.

"It's- GAH! It's when goblins and...and gnomes...OH, THE GNOMES~!"

Knowing it was useless to tell Tweek to calm down, Craig got up from the bed and slowly sat down beside the blond, so as not to startle him. "Tweek? Tell me about the gnoblins."

It had taken years of honest effort and practice not to laugh at Tweek's antics. Because, as Craig realized after spending some time with the coffee-addict, to the blond these fears were more real than anything.

"T-they're...when gnomes and goblins mate..GAH! I..I' not supposed to talk about it!" Tweek's eyes watered as he hid his face in his hands. Craig exhaled a puff of smoke and placed his free hand around the others shoulders. "GAH!"

"It's only me, moron."

Without a doubt, the overflow on information had triggered Tweek's panic attack. Craig was sure of that. The same thing had happened when they were studying for their test on MacBeth. Only that at the time, Tweek had been afraid of the three witches and MacBeth himself, claiming that they were all plotting his end at the very same moment.

"Look, Tweek do you wanna lie down a bit? You seem exhausted." Craig forced a rare smile at the blon and helped him to stand up. "Come on. I'll call your parents and tell them you're staying over."


Gladly accepting the pajama-pants Craig tossed at him, Tweek made to undress as the raven left to call at the Tweak-household. No was way he going to let the blond go home in that state.

"Yes. This is Craig Tucker speaking. I was just helping out Tweek with some maths problems for the test tomorrow, and since it's pretty late I was wondering whether he could stay over and come back home after school tomorrow?...Yes...Of course I have coffee around here..." the raven flipped off the phone as Mr Tweak started a weird comparison of his son's friendship with coffee. "Yeah, okay. Bye, then."

"Your dad's a moron."

"GAH! Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry, dude. You planning on moving over? Or do I gotta sleep on the couch again?"

"N-no. Sorry," forcing a smile, Tweek moved to lie on the right side of the small bed while Craig crawled in.

The lay there in silence for some time, enjoying the warmth of the blanket and each other.


"GAH! Yes?"

"I can't sleep like this."


"Half my ass and my shoulder are hanging off the edge. Let's move."

Not bothering to wait for a reaction, Craig grabbed Tweek and pulled him against his side so that they fit the bed better. At least now no part of them was hanging off any bed-edges.

"That's -GAH! - Kinda gay, dude."



The raven flipped him off.

"Which girl do you l-like?" a slight blush was grazing the blond's freckled cheeks.

"Why're you asking? Who do you like, anyway?"

"That was no -nghh- answer. Tell me, dude!"

"I don't like any girl," Craig smirked as he put a special emphasis on the girl-part.

"So, you like a GAH-guy?"

"Hm, I suppose. I don't give a shit." the raven haired teen frowned for a second before redirecting the question at Tweek.

"Will you hate me if I tell you?"

"Dude, you practically just told me you use me as wanking-material." Craig sighed. How the hell did people think asking something like that wasn't a giveaway? Douchebags as they are, it was no big surprise to him.

"GAHH! I don't do that-!"

"Pff, you with your twitching do that 24/7," the chuckle that rumbled through his chest made Tweek twitch more. "But, that's cool, though. You liking me, I mean."

"GAH! It is?"

"Yeah. I mean, out of all the retards around town, you're the least...moron I'd say."

Tweek sighed, knowing that his was probably the closest to a compliment he'd get from Craig. "GAHH!" Said raven had just rolled himself on top of the blond. "What are you doing?"

"You like me, and I don't hate you, right? So, isn't it courtesy that we kiss each other or something?"

Craig smirked as Tweek's face lit up. Slowly, he leaned down and captured the others lips in a short kiss.

"That was...nghhh...nice...," the blond twitched happily under the raven. Craig hugged Tweek around the shoulders, burying his face in his long neck.

"You really are scrawny, dude."

"I'm NOT! But I-" Tweek stopped dead when he felt something press against his twitching thigh. "GAHHH!"


"Tell me that's a flashlight!"

"Hm, I don't think you can use it as that..." the blond felt Craig's smirk against his neck. "It's your own fault, you giant vibrator."




"The gnoblins aren't watching right now, are they?"

"GAH! I don't think so ..."

"Good." Craig flipped off his closet and turned towards Tweek again. "Because, I wouldn't wanna scar them for life.

"Why a-" the blond was silenced by Craig's mouth on his own. It wasn't at all like the chaste kiss from before. The raven licked viciously at his teeth and tongue and rubbed his hands over the blond's sides.

"W-Wait, Craig..!"

Releasing the other's mouth, Craig stared down at him impassively. "What?"

"What are you-ngh- doing?"

"Obviously trying to get into your pants."


"I mean, if the gnoblins didn't steal them."

Silencing further convesation, Craig recaptured Tweek's mouth. The twitching increased, causing a friction against his groin. "D-dude..."


Rolling his eyes, Craig trailed kisses down Tweek's thin neck, occasionally biting at the skin until he reached his collarbone. The blond made little mewlings noises, his twitching increasing by the second.

Giving a moan deep in his throat, Craig ground his hips down into the others.


"Shh, you spaz," Craig smiled as he gave Tweek's lips another quick peck. "I ain't gonna hurt you, you know."

"I-I know that, but-"


"Nghh, nevermind..." Tweek tried to smile and ran his hands shakily down Craig's back, showing his first sign of affection that night. The raven grinned happily and continued on his journey down Tweek'S chest, unbuttoning his shirt in his mouth's wake.

He dipped his tongue slightly into Tweek's navel, causing the blond to give a violent twitch and his hands to grip his lower back tightly.

Trying to calm himself, the blond pulled up Craig's shirt, who raised his arms to help in the task.

"You okay, Tweekers? Cause you look like you're gonna pass out soon from twitching."

"I-It's fine. Just ner-GAH!-nervous."

"Okay, then," The raven ground his hips down into Tweek's once more, causing the smaller teen to give a strangled moan. Smirking, Craig took the other's hands in his own, placing them firmly on his ass.


"Oh come on, dude, you can't let me do all the effin' work. I'm not gonna kick you outta bed," Craig tried to smile reassuringly, but failed miserably, considering he never did it.

Sighing as Tweek seemed to relax somewhat, he undid the other's fly without any big introduction and yanked the pants down his legs. They were soon joined on the floor by his own.

"GAHH!" Tweek threw his arms up to his face and tried to wriggle away from under Craig.

"What's wrong?" Sceptically eyeing him, the raven leaned back.

"You're...GAH! going commando?"

"Um, sorry? I didn't expect us to do it, you know..."


Chuckling Craig eased his body back down onto Tweek's, causing their erections to rub against each other through the blond's

The raven only smiled as he licked down Tweek's chest again until he reached the waistband of his boxers. Deciding on going through with his original plan, he gave the other's shaft a lick through the fabric.

The reaction was immediate. The twitching got worse than before and Tweek's hands gripped the raven locks tightly.

"Tweek? You're gonna end me up bald."

"Ngh- Sorry..., but..." the blond blushed fiercely as he pulled Craig's face to his. "Do- do we have to do...that?"

"N-no we don't. I just thought you- Nevermind." Craig smiled at Tweek's shyness. "But you do realize that I've seen your dick in PE before, right?"

"GAH!" Another heavy spaz attack silenced Tweek for a moment. "I-I know. It's just...too emnbarassing!"

"Well, how are we gonna do it, then? Do you expect me to do you without looking, or what? Turning off the light?"


"Ah, shit." Craig flipped the blond off as he scampered over to he light switch and flooded the room in darkness.

"EEEEP!" the raven rushed back into bed and held the blond close. "Come on, it's fine! I'm here, okay?"

"Y-yes. But, the GNOMES!"

Refraining from flipping the blond off again, Craig reached over for his bedside table. "Look, Tweek... Are we gonna try this? Or not? Because the choice is up to you."

"Nghh-I...I guess we'll do it. I really like you, Craig. I want-GAH!- I want to."

"Okay," giving a sweet smile, Craig foun what he was looking for and lay it on the bed beside him. Giving his boxers the same treatment as his pants, the raven fully undressed the blond. "Don't worry, Tweek, I can't see shit."


"Do you know the basics of how this works? I really don't wanna surprise ya or something..."

"Yeah. Remember Mr. Garrison's -nggh- speech?"

"Ah, yes." Without further ado, Craig coated his fingers in the sticky substance he had retrieved earlier. "So, here goes."

Kissing Tweek fully on the lips, Craig inserted a first finger into him, causing another vicious wave of twitching to course through the teen. "It won't be uncomfortable much longer, Tweekers. I promise. Okay?"


Craig continued his preparation, soon inserting a second and third finger, stretching the spazzing teen. All of a sudden, Tweek arched up.

"Heh. I win."

"GAH! Do that again-"

Another moan filled the room as Tweek shuddered violently. Craig didn't know whether it was from pleasure or his usual spazzing, but judging by the moans it was probably the first option.

"Alright...You good to go, blondie?"

"GAH! I guess s-so," the coffee-addict panted gripping onto Craig's shoulders as he removed hius fingers to coat his member in the lube, too. "C-Craig?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"GAH! Don't call me that!"

"Heh, sorry," Craig kissed the blond apologetically. "What is it, though?"

"I'm sorry if I'm -nghh- no good at this..."

"Don't worry about that. In fact," the raven trailed kisses down the others jawline as he positioned himself, "I don't want you to worry about anything. Just- Just enjoy yourself for once, okay? No government spies, no gnomes, no bad grades. Can you try that?"


"Okay," Slowly, Craig started to ease into Tweek, causing him to shudder violently yet again. "Mhh...," barely suppressing a moan, he continued on until he was in as far as he could go.

"GAH! That hurts like a bitch!" came the blond's strained voice through the darkness.

"Sorry, Tweekers...," Craig panted against a freckled cheek. "Tell me when we're good to go..."


For a while they just lay there, Craig trying to restrain himself and Tweek spazzing wildly.

"C-Craig? I think you can m-move..."


Slowly, the raven pulled out and sunk himself back in. He kept up a slow pace, hoping to make it somewhat enjoyable for his blond friend. "Faster?"

"O-nghh- Okay.."

He began pulling out and slamming back in at a faster and harder pace, without any different reactions from Tweek.

Starting to worry slightly about the blond, Craig did everything he could think of. He nibbled on Tweek's ear, kissed him deeply and even gave his nipples a few strong licks.

No different reaction. Just the usual twitching.

Stopping his actions, Craig leaned up on his elbows and turned on the bedside lamp.



"I-I don't know what else to do. How can I make this enjoyable for you?" Craig was at his wit's end. Nothing he did seemed to have any effect on the blond teen under him. He seemed as nervous and unsettled as ever. "I'm sorry."

"I-It's not your fault, Craig..." Tweek sighed as he sat up, too and leaned against the other's chest.

He was feeling really bad about not being able to give Craig what he wanted. A normal lover. "Look, it's...I don't know why...why my body's not doing anything...But-GAH! Don't think I'm not enjoying it...because I am!"

"Don't sugar-coat it, Tweek. I suck."

"No, no! That's not it. It's just that I'm a weird spaz-kid. I probably wasn't designed to ever have -nghh- sex or anything. I'm sorry you wasted your time on liking some freak like m-me..."

"Tweek! What the fuck are you saying?"Craig leaned back to get a better look at the other's face.

Tears were leaking from his greenish eyes and his twitching had subsided. "Dude, you're not weird!"

Tweek gave him a glare.

"Probably you are weird, okay, okay. But, it's not your fault. Dude, you got a disease. None of this is your fault."

"Everything is. Dude, what b-boy my age can't even do it?"



"But, dude, that's why I like you, okay?" Craig sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm not good at talking about feelings and shit- well, fuck, I'm not even good at feeling itself. But, look, what I know is that I … I love you, okay, Tweek? I just didn't wanna tell you because, well, because I thought you'd freak. And I hate seeing you get into one of your states. It's … scary."

"GAHH! C-Craig! That was probably the most you ever told me about yourself."

"Don't expect anymore."

"I-I don't need more."

"Oh damn, don't give me the puppy-eyes. Look. Tweek. You're important to me, and if sex is not enjoyable to you, I won't ask for -"

A fierce tongue in his mouth interrupted him. The blond had practically thrown himself at Craig and cause him to flop down on his back. "I love you, Craig." Without further ado, Tweek ran his shaky hands down the raven's chest and rubbed them over his member.

"T-Tweek!" Craig pried the hands away from his groin and held them behind the blond's back. He bit into his neck fiercely and slid himself back into Tweek, causing him to moan loudly and suddenly.

"G-Go on, Craig."

Not needing to be told twice, Craig slammed into Tweek, deciding to take advantage of the short moment in which the blond seemed to enjoy their actions.

No longer lying there passively, Tweek set his mind on making this enjoyable for Craig. He bucked up in time with Craig's thrust, eliciting a deep and long moan from the raven. But the blond found that once he started participating and shutting his mind off, it suddenly became somewhat pleasureable for him as well.

Sweat was running down Craig's neck as he thrust into Tweek for all he was worth. "T-Tweekers..."

"Y-yes...?" The blond panted back, tweaking one of the raven's nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

"I-I won't last much longer..."

"T-That's oka- GAH! Do that again!" Tweek hugged the other around the shoulders and ground himself back against Craig forcefully.

Smirking to himself angled his hips and hit the blond's prostate dead-on.

Without any kind of warning Tweek gave a strangled cry and came. Craig moaned at the sensation of the blond tightening around him and was pushed over the edge soonafter.

He gently pulled out of the other and lay down beside him.

For a while neither of them spoke as they tried to catch their breath, and Tweek's twitching returned to him.

"D-dude..." Craig sighed in exhaustion as he lit a cigarette.

"Y-yeah." Tweek lay on his side so he was facing Craig. "Thank you."

"For what?" The raven raised his eyebrows as he exhaled a puff of smoke.

"Would it sound faggy if I said for being considerate...?"

"Yes. Yes, it would."

"Then I won't say it." Tweek smiled at him.

Craig only flipped him off with one hand while he reached under the bed with the other.

He retrieved a thermos and handed it to a radiantly smiling Tweek. "There, moron."

"Thanks, Craig."

"No problem," he stubbed the cigarette butt out on the metal frame of his bed, letting it drop to the ground afterwards. "Just don't wake me again when you get horny."

"GAH! I didn't...I wasn't...GAHH!"

Smirking again, Craig leaned over to kiss the rambling blond on the lips. "I won't kick you out for bad sex. But I sure as hell will for waking me up..."














So, how was that? XD I know, lemons aren't really my thing but...I hope it was endurable :D Remember, R&R for more R-Rated stoRies. :D