Disclaimer: I do not own VicTORious or Th1rteen R3asons Why -i seriously recommend reading that book, so great!-

And this is why I should never stay up and re-read my books because I can't sleep. Yeah I tried to make this similar to the book/audio tapes, but I think it's too similar…at least the audio tape part…but there are only 7 in the group, so making the 13 cds, there will be characters used more than once...oh and i pretty much copied the audio and just changed names…oh well

(Cat's POV)

It's been a long week for me, looking at her empty desk during class, hearing the crude comments about her, and mostly…never seeing her again. I just got back from the post office…I really wish I wasn't forced to go but I had no choice. The box and its contents had been given to 8 people before me…we ALL heard the stories, all know what happened…all felt like crap at what we caused….maybe I felt the worst? I mean I could have stopped this "Snowball effect" maybe not on my own, but tired…at least tried for her

I entered the post office; place the depressing box on the counter with its new pink postage tape on it. Why did she send this to me? The lady at the counter takes to box and weighs it…must be heavy with all those CDs in there…13…13 different stories, 13 different reasons, yet they tie together. She tells me the price and I quickly pay her, I'm dying…nice word choice, I'm…I just want to get away from that box…the memories...yet I want to hold on to them…

"Would you like a receipt?"

I look up with watery eyes and hoarsely answer "No…" I couldn't take it…could I?

The box is placed out of my sight and the receipt is thrown in the garbage…I'm tempted to reach for it as a reminder…but how sick would that be? Then again we were all "Sick" we ALL caused this…we could have stopped this; could have saved her…but we didn't…and I'm regretting everything I did…everything WE did…I'm sorry.

I leave as quickly as I can; walking to school on this rainy day…see? Even the sky is crying because of what we did…she should be here…well at least at school not…well…where she is now…

I step inside my house, my Rottweiler jumps on my and runs around my legs hoping I'd play with her. "Rottweiler" funny I own one, considering she tried to get one for Beck…although she called them "Rotten Heimers" I miss her, and now every time I think of her, my heart burns, feels like it's made of glass and someone threw a 9 lbs hammer and hit it right in the center…how can I even have a heart anymore? It's MY fault she's gone! Well it's ALL our faults, but I helped her end her fate…I'm a monster. I remember the day I got that pathetic box…

"She's gone…she's really gone…this isn't some sick joke…she's really gone…" Is all I can think to myself as I walk up the driveway to my front door, I notice something on the porch and run to get a closer look.

"A box?" I grab bend down and stare at the address written on the box…that's Robbie's address!

"Why did he send something to me?" I grab the box "Wow this is heavy…what's in here?" I unlock my door and walk in; my rottie pup is running around barking widely, excited that someone is home to be with her. I walk over to the table and place the box on it. I leave to grab a knife to open this strange box. I finally get it open and it's full of Cds… "What is this? A joke?" I pick one up "CD 1" …I look down and count 13, yes 13 Cds. I go upstairs, rottie following me, and grab my laptop from behind the back of my closet; I walk slowly and carefully back downstairs, can't afford to break this laptop.

I plug in my laptop to the nearest outlet as I set it down and the kitchen table. I reach for the box and as I grab the first Cd, a paper falls out; it's laminated and folded 4 times. I slowly open it and notice it's a map, like the ones they passed out during testing for school, I see red stars marking different places…this is getting weird, but Robbie's always been weird, what should I expect?

I place in the first Cd and hear;

"Hello boys and girls, Jade West here, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore…and this time…absolutely no request. Get comfy because I'm about to tell you the story of my life, more importantly why it ended. Now if you're listening to these Cds…your one of the reasons. I'm not telling you which Cd you're involved in, but don't worry. You'll hear your name soon enough, now why would a dead girl lie? Hey that could be a sick mortified joke, 'Why would the dead girl lie? Answer; because she can't stand up'. Oh laugh…I know you want too…oh well it was funny to me…in a sick way. I have 2 rules, the first you listen, remember I mention you in one of these pretty shinny Cds, and number 2 you pass them on. So you number 13, take these Cds to hell for all I care, hey, maybe I'll see you there! Oh and I have a second set floating around somewhere, so if you break the second rule; everyone will hear them, I promise you that. Oh and before I forget I attached a map in the box I'll mention several important key places feel free to visit them, or just glance at the map when I mention them. Which ever you choose, it doesn't matter to me, I'm dead remember? Ohh, I probably made you shiver a bit, no? Have fun, and remember…I might be watching."


I paused the Cd. Jade? I'm involved with your death? Jade please tell me I didn't cause your end! I would never do that, you may not have known this…but I loved you, and not love as in a friendship, but something more! Robbie, you BETTER have sent me this box on accident! I take the second Cd out of the box and the light hits it in a perfect way so the shine almost blinds me…like the time I almost blinded Beck with my flashlight. I twirl the pretty fragile disk in between my fingers for a second, I'm in shock from what I hear and the only thing that brings me back is my rottie begging to be let outside in the backyard. I let her out and press "Play" back on my laptop.


"So when did you decide to kiss me Beck? Before or after, I twirled into your arms? Or was it perhaps during rehearsal for that play? Okay, who wants to know what my very first thought was while we kissed, which was my very first kiss; 'Someone's been sucking a lemon.' Okay it wasn't that bad, but it was the first thing that came to mind. I know a stage kiss isn't the most romantic thing, but I'm Jade and my tastes are different than a normal person's. Perhaps it wasn't what a first kiss should be, because I've heard what other's said there's were like, but…ours was a beautiful kind. It wasn't like the stage kiss that Cat gave Robbie nor the kiss that Trina gave Robbie, heck, it BETTER not have been like the one Tori gave you. But it was beautiful. You weren't a perv and had your hands all over me, then again we were acting; but then, it went farther than acting, it sparked a relationship, one that didn't last as everyone saw, but it did start something.

So after the play we dated, 2 years 3 months, why'd we break up? Well I'm sure everyone who hears these Cds think they know the reason, but you Beck, only you know the REAL reason, or did you blab once I was dead? Doesn't matter to me, like I said; I'm dead.

Like I was saying we dated, our first date…I remember that so well. It's too cliché for me to say it now, but it did end with us at the park, we JUST kissed. Wait- stop, you didn't miss a thing. Beck and I, JUST. KISSED. Nothing more; well there was more, Beck grabbed my hand, walked me to the corner; then he left, I went one way, he the other. Oh you wanted to hear something else? Something dirty? Like how my sly fingers played with his jean's zipper and how his hand ended up in my shirt…or how, well what did you want to hear? Because I've heard so many stories I lost count, I don't know which was the MOST popular, but I know which one is the LEAST popular, the truth. Now; you won't forget the truth cus you heard it straight from the lips of the dead girl. So thank you so much Beck, my first kiss was wonderful, you were wonderful, and I'm glad I had you for the time everything worked…until you started bragging. Weeks went by and I heard nothing, but you can't escape a rumor, or disprove one, no matter how far-fetched it may be. I'm still sure people believed you got me pregnant even after 7 months went by…I may have been a good actress but even I couldn't have faked that.

Now I know you're sitting there thinking, 'Really Jade? A Kiss? A rumor based on a kiss made you hang yourself?', and no, a rumor based off a kiss ruined a beautiful memory I had and hoped would stay with me forever; a rumor based on my first kiss gave me a reputation people believed and tormented me for, and a rumor based on a kiss…it has an effect to it, a snowball effect if you may call it.

Place in the next Cd for more; and Beck babe, stick around a bit you're mentioned a few more times."


"…JADE! No! Jade you didn't have to kill yourself over Beck! Please…Please…" I cry out hoarse voice and puffy red eyes, my "cupcake" hair as I call it falling over my face as I'm crying into my palms. I need to hear more, even though it feels like everything around me just crashed down and I'm laying in broken glass and filth, I need to hear more. Why? Why did Robbie send ME, this box? Why does Robbie even HAVE this box? How is he involved, how am I involved? Jade mentioned Tori…is she involved, how else is Beck? So many questions spinning in my head right now, needing answers; and this box would hopefully give me answers…