And here it is! I just want to say thanks for all the reviews from mwyw they are what made this sequel happen! I hope you all enjoy this story as much as the first!
I own nothing...
I was on facebook the other day and some one wrote, FML. I asked what it meant and they said it stood for fuck my life, I sat there and thought about how much I felt that way. Things between Edward and I were great, but now everything seemed like a mistake. I wanted to party down by the creek and Edward wanted to sit home. He acted like he was thirty and not seventeen.
School was weird at first, being called Bella Cullen sounded too weird. There was a lot of talk about me throughout the school, but I was able to end all rumors when my stomach didn't grow after a few months. The kicker was, just when I was able to get every one to believe that I wasn't pregnant, I got pregnant. So, here I was now seventeen and pregnant. When we found out I thought Edward was going to do back flips, I tried to be excited, but I just couldn't get myself there. I didn't want a child right now, I didn't think I would get pregnant that quick. So now I was eight months pregnant and getting ready for my senior year of high school. I found out the beginning of November that I was having a child and now I was due July first. Any day this little bundle was "joy" could come out!
Esme was surprised that she didn't have to let my dress out. I didn't think that I got that big. All my weight was in the belly and I felt like shit! I couldn't take much more. Learning German was the easy part of all this Amish bull shit, but the bible was another story. The whole knowing it word for word was nonsense and I could of cared less. Church was to long and to me it was a waste of a day.
I never got a job, Edward didn't want it. The whole money thing was going okay. I didn't like the fact that I had to asked for money, but I was getting use to it. I guess after talking with my mom and Leah about the whole money thing made it easier to adjust. Knowing that Edward was brought up in an Amish lifestyle I knew it would take some getting use to on his part as well. I was trying to break him of "the women dose the house work". I couldn't do it all and that is where our problem lays. I went to school all year, did the cleaning, the cooking, on top of my school work and being pregnant was taking a toll on me. Knowing that a person can't change over night I gave Edward a chance to step up and do something, but no he didn't. After the sixth month of my pregnancy I flipped and things got better, but now Edward was right back to where he was. I swore to myself that if things didn't get better after the baby was born I would lose it again. I loved Edward so much and I wanted to be with him more than anything, but shit needed to change.
In a way Edward was changing and he was adjusting to the outside world, but some of the things he was doing weren't kosher with me. His smoking has now become his thing. Him and the boys got together often and Edward would come home drunk. He was also cussing a whole lot. I really couldn't really bitch about the smoking or the drink, but I did bitch about him coming in at all hours of the night. He did get better with that, which kept me quiet for a while. Lately I was finding anything and everything to bitch about, the way he chewed his food, the he would breath when he was going to sleep, I would even bitch about the way he talked.
We moved into our own little house at the end of August. It was very simple. It had a kitchen, living room and three bedrooms. One of the things that I did change was the flooring. I hated hardwood floors. I went and bought some throw rugs, it was better than nothing. My father gave us his old living room furniture and Esme and Carlisle gave us a dining room table. We had a small TV and Ben gave Edward a Xbox360 that he had laying around, I was ready to smash the fucking thing! I did like it when Edward would play guitar hero with me, but that wasn't often. I was never a big TV watcher and that was slowly changing. We had basic cable so we did have channels to watch, but when I had down time I was usually on the computer.
Two of the things that didn't change were our talks and our sex life. We were really each other's best friend, we talked about our days and for the most part we were able to talk out our problems. Our fights would only start when Edward would tell me what to do, that always set me off. Then he would go into the whole "you are my wife" blah, blah, fucking blah. I thought I was doing pretty good with the whole submissive thing for the most part. I knew I could do better, but I really didn't want to. Knowing that I could do what I wanted when I wanted gave me a source of normalcy in a way. Sometimes it felt like all we were doing were living in his world, I would always get pissed when I felt that way and remind him that this isn't my world you world anymore, it was our world! We were both still learning as you can see.
My mom didn't stick around long after the wedding, this didn't surprise me. In a way things were different when she left. There was some sort of understanding between every one. My mom and Leah even hugged when she left. I think it was a new beginning for my whole family. I got to see a lot of Alice, she was amazing, hyper, but amazing. Even though she was only fifteen she seemed older than me, I knew that was her upbringing. She and Jasper were most likely going to be married next November. She wanted to do a couple weeks of Rumspringa next summer and she also told me that Jasper wanted to do it with her also, I thought that was sweet. We would have a full house next summer, but I was sure it would be fun!
It was my first day of the summer and I was hot, tired and fat! Edward was at work and I didn't feel like doing anything, so I sat on the couch and watched TV. I was hoping for at least a week before the baby came, I needed some me time. Leah and Esme said they doubted that I would make until July. They said I was showing signs that it was going to happen soon. I guess my stomach dropped and because I was feeling contractions meant the starting of labor. I wanted to know what I was having, but Edward said no. "One of the joys of having a baby is the surprise," he had said a number of times. I really didn't like surprises.
I text Edward and told him that I didn't feel like cooking so he needed to pick something up for dinner, he bitched about it, but in the end he said he would. I didn't do any house work, but I thought the house looked fine so I wasn't worrying about it.
The babies room was done and once again it was simple. I was starting to hate the word simple, to me it meant boring. We had a crib that was giving to us by one of the other Amish families and Carlisle made us a dresser. Leah and I brought color into the babies room. We had gone shopping bought some unisex clothes and really cute blankets. We bought some baby boarder to put around the room. Edward wanted me to do an at home birth, but I told him to shit in his hat, that was not going to happen. Needless to say I did get my way. My dad helped me out with that and grossed Edward out with details of my birth. For some reason my father has some kind of insane influence on Edward, that or he is just scared of my father.
I must of fallen asleep because I was woken up to kisses on my face and the aroma of greasy burgers. "Mmm I'm so hungry," I said as I sat up on the lumpy couch.
"You're going to hurt your back if you keep sleeping on that couch," he said shoving fries into his mouth.
"My whole body hurts, I don't think it is really going to matter," I said rolling my eyes. I knew he was just worrying about me, but this was how I seem to be acting lately. All Edward would do is smile and nod. "How was your day?"
"Same shit different day," he said as he rubbed my belly. "It's really hard."
"I know it has been like that all day," I told him with a mouth full of food.
After dinner Edward went outside to smoke, I was starting to really hate his new found habit. If he ever told me that we didn't have money and then went and bought cigarettes I would crush them! Although I had many things that pissed me off, one of the things I looked forward to was bed time. That was our time and we would snuggle. As soon as I was comfortable Edward leaned in and started kissing me. His kisses still gave me butterflies, but I wasn't really feeling like having sex. That would have been the first time that I didn't want to have sex in month. When we first started having sex I was too nervous I would get pregnant so we didn't do it often, but once it did happen sex was an every day thing.
"I love you so much," he said as he tried to fondle my over sensitive breast. "Are you leaking?" he asked as we both started to laugh.
"I told you I was," I told him as he squeezed my nipples and watched the liquid come out. "Will you stop? Not only does it hurt, it's creepy," I said with a laugh and pulled my shirt down.
"I really want you," he said as he licked my neck.
"Not tonight," I said as I turned my head. "I just don't feel very well and my stomach is crampy," I told him as he stared at me.
"Are you for real?"
"But... we have sex every night," he said sounding sad.
"Edward," I said with a laugh. "You need to get use to it. Once this baby is born I don't plan on having sex for a long time," I said as I chuckled again.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean we aren't have sex for at least two years after this baby is born."
"Two years? I really don't think so," he said shaking his head.
"Well it's your own fault! You don't want to use any protection and I don't want any more kids, so yeah it will be a while."
"We will talk about this later," he said as he cuddled into my side. "I love you, try to get some sleep," he said kissing my temple.
"Night, I love you too," I said. I felt like I was tired enough to go to sleep, but sleep wasn't coming. My stomach would tighten to the point it would get uncomfortable and then it would go away. This happened four times before I was able to fall asleep...
"Bella!" I heard Edward say, but he sounded so far away. "Bella, you need..." he started to say, but his voice faded away. I was stuck in this weir dream, I was swimming and the water was so warm. Once in a while I would feel these sharp pains and the warmth would consume me again.
"Bella? Baby, you need to wake up," Edward said as I sat up looking around. My whole body felt clamy and wet. "Baby, I am pretty sure your water broke," he said as I looked down confused. At that point I didn't put two and two together.
"Awesome, I just really want to sleep," I said as I laid my head back down. "Why are you up so early?" I asked him.
"Bella, are you awake?" he asked me. I took a deep breath and as I went to sit up I then realized the bed was wet and my stomach hurt. "We need to go to the hospital," he said helping me out of bed.
"I need to take a shower."
"No, we don't have time."
"I need to a lest change my clothes," I told him as I hung on to him.
"Okay, you can change, but that's it," he said as I nodded my head. He helped me into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. As we were getting in the car I saw my dad and Leah pulling into the driveway.
"I thought you would be on your way already," I heard Charlie say.
"Bella wanted to take a shower, but I just helped her into some clean clothes," Edward said as the contractions became stronger.
"Bells, how are you feeling?" Leah asked me as I was mid contraction.
"Not good," I said through clenched teeth. "Did you call my mom?"
"Yes," she said as she held my hand. "Me and your dad will be right behind you, well we are going to stop off and see the Cullen's, but then we will be there." All I did was nodded my head. Edward climbed into the driver seat and headed for the hospital.
"I'm scared," I told him.
"I know, but I will be with you the whole time," he told me as I smiled.
"Ya know how I said we aren't having sex for two years?"
"Yeah I remember," he said with a laugh.
"Make it five," I groaned out as another contraction ripped through me.
"We'll see. We are almost there," he said as I closed my eyes. It didn't take long and before I new it we were in a hospital room and they we were hooking me up to machines and checking my blood pressure.
"I'm in a lot of pain, I would really like some drugs or just knock me out," I said as I started to cry.
"No, you are doing fine. Just keep breathing," Edward told me as he held my hand.
"I am not fine! And don't touch me!" I said as I shook off his hand. I gripped the side of the bed and I started to try to breath. My back hurt and I was trying to get comfortable, but my body wasn't having that. Every time Edward would try and touch me I would slap him away.
"Bella, I'm trying to help you," he said, again trying to take my hand.
"Holding my hand is doing absolutely nothing to help me!" I said getting loud. "I swear to god I hate you right now and I am NEVER doing this again!" I said as another round of sobs broke through me.
"You don't mean that," he said looking at the floor. "It can't be that bad," he said as I shot him a nasty look. Before he could say anything else Doctor Smith walked in.
"How are you holding up Bella?" he asked me as I shot his a death look. "How about I give you something to take the edge off."
"No." Edward said. "She is doing fine." I wanted to kill him at that moment.
"Bella, I need you to put this on," doctor Smith said placing an oxygen mask over my face.
"Is something wrong?" Edward asked as I grabbed his hand.
"The baby's heart beat is a little lower than we like to see. The oxygen should correct it," he said giving us a reassuring smile. "I'll be back in a few minutes to see if there is a change," he said as he walked out of the room.
"Everything is going to be okay," Edward said before I could say anything. I held his hand and he put his free arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. We stayed cuddled into one another for a few minutes before my doctor and two nurse came through the door. Doctor Smith looked and the fetal monitor and then he nodded to the nurses.
"Okay this is how things are going to go," the doctor said and Edward was asked to move. "We have to get the baby out now the heartbeat is dangerously low."
"Can I go with her?" Edward asked as I held his hand in a death grip.
"No, if this was planed than you could have been but, this needs to happen now. We have to put you out for this, we won't have time to do an epidural. The whole procedure will take about a half hour," he said as I gripped Edward's hand tighter.
"Everything will be okay. I will be right here waiting for you," he told me as I cried.
"I love you. I don't hate you, I really love you," I cried as he lifted the oxygen mask and kissed me. I could see the tears in his eyes and that broke my heart.
"I know you don't hate me. I love you too," he said as they rolled me away from him. When we were in the the operating room they told me how they were going to put me under and that was the last thing I remembered.
I wanted to go with her and knowing that I couldn't be with her was breaking me. The nurse brought me to a family waiting area, both set of parents were there waiting. I knew that if I spoke, I would cry, so I sat down and whispered for them to give me a minute. It took everything I had in me not to cry, but I didn't succeed. The tears started to fall and I felt a hand on my back.
"Is Bella okay?" I heard Leah ask. I nodded my head yes.
"Is the baby okay?" my mother asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
"The baby's heartbeat dropped dangerously low, they had to get it out. They are going to put Bella under for the C-section. I couldn't go with her. They said it should be about a half hour," I told them keeping my eyes on the ground.
I folded my hands, closed my eyes and said a prayer for my wife and for my child. I knew Bella was having a hard time and I was trying to make it easier for her, but nothing seem to help. Our life has been great, I had no complaints. My father told me that Bella would feel better once the baby was born, I hoped so. I was loving my new life and Bella seemed to dislike it. She picked up on the German fast, but the bible, she could care less and she needed to care. We had to teach our children the Amish life... she had to care. I was starting to think that she was never going to learn.
Work was going great and I loved being on my own. We were doing really well for money. Bella likes to spend money, I hate telling her no, but it was what had to be done so we could have a life. She hates asking for money, but she is getting better. I have a feeling once the baby was here and Bella feels better she is going to rebel against our life. She wants to go and hang out with friends, but that part of her life is over. I know that will be one of our problems. I expect her to have a life, but I just hope that she puts our child and our life first.
She was right when she would say that this wasn't my world your world any more. This was our world and I was still learning. I was brought up to be the man, not the partner. Helping with the house hold chores was new to me, Bella hated that I didn't do more. I knew once our baby was brought into this world I needed to try harder and I would. I knew she would probably be under more stress than I would be so, I want to be a better husband. School was hard for her this year and I knew this coming year was going to be worse. My mom was going to care for the baby while we were at school and work, she was on cloud nine knowing she was going to get so much one on one time. I knew she would be a huge help with the teaching of my child.
"Mr. Cullen?" I heard a female say.
"Yes," I said as I wiped my hands down my face. "How's my family?"
"Congratulations, you have a healthy baby boy," she said as my smile grew, I had a son! "May I discuss what happened in front of your family or would you like to do that privately?"
"No, go head. I would just come back and tell them," I said as both Leah and my mother held my hands.
"The cord was wrapped around his neck, but that was an easy fix and he is doing great. He weighed six pounds five ounces and he is nineteen inches long. Now, do you know if Isabella was planning on breast feeding?" At first I felt like I couldn't answer her, I wanted to kiss Bella and hold my baby. I had a son and he was healthy, my prayers were answered.
"No, she isn't going to breast feed. How is she?" I asked.
"She is good. They should be almost done closing her up and then you can see her. If you want, you can come with me to see the baby," she said as I quickly shook my head yes. I hugged the mothers, shook the fathers hand and then followed the nurse to my baby. We walked into the little nursery and there were two other babies there, my heart was racing as I approached my son. As soon as I laid eyes on him the tears came back.
"You can sit right there and I will get him for you," the nurse said as I sat in a rocking chair. She placed him in my arms and I couldn't do anything, but smile.
"Hey, little guy," I said to him as I took my finger down the side of his face. He was beautiful. He had my skin tone, nose and Bella's lips. He had his eyes close so couldn't tell who's eyes he had, I was positive that they were beautiful as well.
"Sie sind schon," I said to him. "Ich liebe zu lesen," I said kissing his forehead.
"He needs to eat," the nurse said handing me a bottle.
"Oh, okay. Just give me one second," I said as I pulled out my cell and snapped a picture of him and then sent it the the grandparents. I took the bottle from the nurse and he started to eat.
"He seems like he is going to be a very good baby," she said to me.
"I hope so," I said smiling at her.
"You seem so young to be so into having a baby," she said to me as I chuckled at her.
"That is probably because I am Amish," I said as she stared at me. "I live in the outside world with my wife so she can be close to her family," I told her as she nodded.
"That doesn't happen often, does it?"
"No, this is the first time they have ever approved such a thing," I said as she awed.
"That is so great," she said. The phone started to ring and she walked away from me and I turned my attention back to my son. I saw that he had already drank an ounce and I knew I should try to burp him. As soon as the bottle was out of his mouth he started to cry. The sound was like music to my ears. I patted his back and I was surprised how fast he burped. I started to feed him again and he fell back to sleep by the time he drank another ounce. I put him on my shoulder and rocked him. I felt at peace, the only thing missing was Bella.
"Mr. Cullen? Have you and your wife picked out a name yet?" the nurse asked.
"No," I said feeling bad. I know Bella wanted to name him Landon, but I didn't want to say so until I was sure that is what she wanted.
"Your wife is in her room now. She is still sleeping and it could take another hour before she wakes up, but you and the baby can go to her room. Your family is in there as well," she said as I got excited to show off my son.
I wanted to carry him, but that was against hospital rules. I reluctantly put him back in the crib and then pushed him across the hall to Bella's room. When I opened the door I was met with four very excited grandparents. Leah and my mother swooned over him, Charlie looked like he was going to cry and my father had a proud father smile on his face. After an hour all the grandparents got to hold the baby and I was craving to hold him again. He started to cry and Charlie gave him to me. I rocked him, rubbed his back and he nuzzled himself into my neck. It was the sweetest thing. I looked over to Bella and saw that she was starting to move. I moved my chair closer to her and held her hand.
"Bella, do you want to meet our son?" I asked her as she started to blink her eyes. "You did so good sweetheart. He is perfect," I told her as she fully opened her eyes. I watched as she tried to move, but groaned in pain.
"Everything is okay?" she asked in a whispered voice.
"Yes, he's perfect and so are you. What do you want to name him?" I asked her as she rolled her eyes.
"I don't care," she said covering her eyes with her arm.
"Do you want to hold him?"
okay let me know what you think! Let me know what you want to see throughout this story an ideas will help me write!
Sie sind schon= you are beautiful
Ich liebe zu lesen= I love you