TITLE: I Lost It

AUTHOR: Jules (silverlilyus@yahoo.com


PAIRING: Ron/Hermione (Do I ever write anything else?)

Author's Note: I heard this song on the radio earlier, and the chorus just struck me. Go figure. This is a Ron POV piece. I don't like it too much, but it pestered to be done, so here you go.

"I Lost It"

The woman is a complete and utter paradox. At least, she is to me. Don't get me wrong—I love her, love her with all my heart. But sometimes…

Sometimes she drives me crazy.

Take today, for instance. Perfectly normal, regular day. I worked, she worked, and we went home. Simple, right? Only, Hermione got home before I did, and I brought home an old friend from school for dinner.

Granted, I didn't let her know ahead of time, but still, it's just Seamus! You'd think I'd brought the bloody Queen home, the way she carried on about what a mess the house was and how inconsiderate I was to not tell her before I brought a guest home.

How was I to know she'd be so horrifically sensitive?

I apologized and promised to never, ever bring a surprise guest home for dinner again. Seamus was fine with it all, telling me that Lavender would have undoubtedly done the same thing. I don't know if that makes me feels better or worse, but Hermione laughed when I told her, which made me laugh, too. Her laughter has always been contagious.

Just the thought of her brings a smile to my face. The sound of her voice, the scent of her, her joyous smile…everything she is has the capacity to make me happy. She makes me happy. I'd never known love could be this way, never realized exactly what it was that happy couples like my parents shared. Until Hermione and I were together, I never knew that kind of happiness—the complete, soul-inspiring joy—was even possible. She truly warms my heart and lights my life.

That's not to say we don't have our differences. We've known each other half our lives, and for at least half that time, we've fought. We do disagree and we do argue—we were famous at Hogwarts for our screaming matches. It's not always little things we fight over, either. The biggest row we ever had happened just last November, when Hermione confronted me with a suspicion that I had been unfaithful. I still haven't a clue how she could possibly believe that I would cheat on her, but for one horrible night, I thought my marriage was over. I can still remember the sound of her anguished sobbing and her angry voice telling me that she wanted me out. Through terror and tears of my own, I somehow opened my heart completely to her and showed her that she was the only woman ever inside it. That she would always be the sole owner of my heart.

It's funny how we operate sometimes. It's almost as though the madder or crazier I get, the more I need her. Like a drug addict, I need my fix, and she's it for me. Being around her—even when we fight, even when we're foolish enough to let the anger get the best of us—is a necessity. She fulfills me, even when she infuriates me.

See what I mean about the paradox?

I wouldn't change any of it for the world, though. And she knows it. Without Hermione, I'm lost, adrift.

Without her, I'm nothing. With her, though…

I'm everything.


"No one can make me cry

Make me laugh

Make me smile

Or drive me mad like she does

It's like a curse that is the cure

Better or worse, one thing's for sure

It's real love and I don't know what I'd do

If I lost it"

--"I Lost It", Kenny Chesney