Hi there. This is my first ever fanfic.
It was written long ago on a lonely, depressing, insomnia filled night, and at the time it was very cathartic. Upon re-reading it a year or so later, however, I realised that it was also not worth its weight in cyber paper.
I wouldn't read it. Ever. So I shouldn't expect anybody else to.
However, somehow this did manage to gain twelve reviews. So I guess some of you must have liked something, some of you must have pitied me, or some of you must have felt a combination of the two. I'm very, very appreciative either way. I really am.
Anyway, the point of what I'm trying to say is that I have decided to do a quick re-write of this fic. Just for the sake of my mental health. Now, although I wouldn't normally do this, I have kept the original here, too, for those of you who prefer the melodramatic original over the minimalistic re-write. That, and I very much like the idea of keeping evidence of where I started, so that I can look back from the future and see just how far I've come.
Thank you to everyone who continues to support me by reading and reviewing my stories.
It was morning.
For the first time in months Yamato had spent the night completely on his own. The thought of it began to make him cry again. He would, it seemed, never run out of tears for his Taichi. Still, he would have to pull himself together if he wanted to believe that he could save what remained of their relationship.
Drowsily, he crawled out of bed and pulled yesterday's clothes onto his body. He had to find Tai, now. After he'd had a chance to sleep on his thoughts, but before he would have the chance to do, or say, anything rash.
Taichi had been awake for most of the morning, eyes weary with unhappiness and hair standing on end in more places than normal. His head rested upon his folded arms.
"Stupid, Yamato…" He mumbled to himself.
In front of him sat a piece of paper. A list was written upon it, with two columns labelling the pros and cons of being in a relationship with Yamato. The pros column was full of small, untidy scrawls, which grew steadily more illegible near the bottom of the page.
The cons column was empty.
"Yamato…" He mumbled, again. This time it came out closer to a whine.
It had come to Taichi's attention, this morning, that no matter how angry he had been with the blonde last night, there were no significant cons to the pair of them being together. Not at all. Yamato had just made a mistake. A big one, sure; but not one that warranted their breaking up with each other. It hadn't been malicious, and it hadn't been intentional. It had just been an accident.
"Stupid, Yamato…" He rubbed his eyes and got to his feet. "…you'd better be awake."
He picked up the phone and began to dial Yamato's phone number. It was the only number that he had ever memorised. The dial tone began to sound. Once. Twice. Three times. And then…
"I." Yamato hesitated. "I was just coming over to see you."
"How about we meet at the park, instead?"
He halted, apparently taken aback. "The park?"
"Yeah, the usual place. I'd rather talk there."
"Oh. S-sure, Tai. The usual place."
"I love you." Taichi said after a moment, a slight offer of reassurance in his voice.
"I." Yamato hesitated, again. "Thanks. I love you, too."
"See you soon, ok?"
"Sure." He nodded, smiling. "See you."
"A happy place for a happy couple..." Yamato mumbled to himself as he sat down on his and Taichi's favourite bench in the park. This particular bench had witnessed many firsts for the two of them. First kisses. First exclamations of love. First discussions about the future. Their future. How poetic, he thought, that they might end up breaking up here, too. He looked out at the pond in front of him and glared. "I can't believe how stupid I was!"
Yesterday, Yamato had brought up his and Taichi's relationship in passing conversation with Mr and Mrs Yagami, totally convinced that they had already known about their son's sexuality. He had been wrong. And if they weren't shell shocked by his announcement, then he certainly was by the homophobic outburst that they offered in reply.
Yamato had escaped from the situation in a panicked flash, but before he could find the words to tell his boyfriend what had happened Taichi had been contacted by his parents. It had led the brunette into a huge fight, and Taichi had decided to leave - but not before having a second big fight, this time with Yamato. The blonde boy had broken his trust without realising it, and they had both spent the night alone in consequence.
Five more minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Taichi. Yamato sighed, and let his mind trail through his worries.
"I really hope I've not screwed this up. He said on the phone that he loves me, but...what if it's a kind of 'I love you but can't be with you' love? What if he wants to end things, and that's why he wanted to do it here, or…?" Tears threatened to well up in his bright blue eyes, again, but he straightened up in his seat and sniffed. "No. I've got to be strong. For him. If it's what he needs...if it's what he wants, then I-I'll do anything."
Taichi stopped. Ahead of him was the small, cobbled path that led towards a certain bench and, hopefully, to where his Yamato would be waiting. Taichi was running a little late. As usual. But he knew how patient his boyfriend was. He wouldn't move for a long while yet if he didn't have good reason to.
He began moving his legs again, the tension in them easing with each step.
Before long he could see the blonde's hair blowing about up ahead. It didn't look like it had been styled. At all. He must have been having a really bad morning. Tai saw no reason why, in that case, he couldn't ruffle it about. It would probably be the first and last time that he would ever be able to do so in public. He stretched out his hand.
"Wh-what are you doing?" Yamato jumped to his feet with a yelp and his hands flailed through his hair, panicked, for a second, before the more important matter of Taichi being stood in front of him became apparent.
"It's not like you did anything with it today." Taichi pointed out. "It's still messy from where you slept on it."
"…right." Yamato said, slowly dropping his arms. "I guess it's a reflex."
"I guess." Taichi shrugged. "Listen, Yama. I've got something to say…"
"No, Taichi. You gotta let me say my bit first. I may not get a chance to, otherwise." Yamato interrupted. "I was completely, one hundred per cent in the wrong yesterday. And I'm sorry. Please, please forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive." Taichi assured. "Look, I was angry last night. And I didn't mean to shout at you. I just hated what happened, and how it happened. And I took it out on you. But it wasn't your fault."
"It wasn't your fault. I should have told you that my parents didn't know about me."
"Well, I guess. But…"
"You're not gonna leave me, or anything. Are you?" Taichi asked, tentatively.
"What?" Yamato laughed in disbelief and grabbed the brunette in a tight hug. "I thought you came here to break up with me, or something."
"Are you kidding?" Tai laughed back. "I'm your Tai. And I always will be."
"And I'm your Yama."
"Exactly. And you always will be."
"So…I'm never gonna lose you. Ever?"
"That's right, Yama. Some things, they...some things can never be lost. What we have, right here? I think that's one of those things. I'm going to love you forever. And I'm pretty sure that you feel the same way."
"I do." Yamato pulled back from the hug, looked into Tai's great, brown eyes for a second, and then planted a kiss on his lips. Tai, with redoubled enthusiasm, kissed back.
Thank you for reading this story. Somehow, it seems a lot shorter than it used to...
Anyway, this is the end of the re-write. But below you will find the original version of the exact same story. Read it if you wish. Don't feel like you have to, though. This really is the end of the story. You should only read the original if you're feeling nostalgic, want to laugh a bit at the cringeworthy writing, or feel like comparing one late night escapade with another that occured one and a half years prior.
Anyway, thanks again for popping by. Your presence is greatly appreciated.
All the best!
It was morning. Yamato had spent the night completely alone for the first time in months, and the thought of it made him cry again. He would never run out of tears for his Taichi. Still, he needed to pull himself together if he wanted to believe that he could save their relationship and so, reluctantly, he got out of bed and quickly got ready. He had to find Tai, now, after he'd had a chance to sleep on his thoughts, but before he'd had a chance to do anything rash.
Taichi had been awake for a couple of hours already. He sat, trying to think of a solution, but couldn't come up with anything. At first he'd thought of making a pro's and con's list - but that hadn't worked out too well. There were no real cons to them being together and he knew it. Yamato had made one, small mistake and, if he'd realised at the time how badly it would have affected him, Taichi was sure that he wouldn't have done it. After all, he was his Yama, and his Yama had always and would always do anything for him.
"I can't do this..." He finally said to himself, standing up and grabbing the phone. "I've gotta tell him I forgive him, and that I love him, and that he's my Yama and...and..." He stopped there, and broke down into a fit of sobs. "...and I'm his Tai and I always will be. I can't believe we had such a stupid fight!" He dialled Yamato's number and, unsurprisingly, got an answer straight away.
"Tai! Oh, I'm so, soooo glad you called!"
"Me too, Yama..." He sniffed, before continuing. "I wanna meet you, ok? Don't wanna do this over the phone."
"How about the park?"
"The park...? Yeah, thats fine. It looks like the sun's finally coming out, anyway."
"Great, I'm already on my way. See you soon, yeah?"
"Yeah, see you. Oh! And I love you, Yama."
"Thanks. I love you too, Tai." He placed the phone down gently, and giggled through a few more sobs. Maybe things were going to be ok, after all.
Yamato was sitting on a bench in the park. It was flanked by two large trees, and faced towards a pond where a small family of ducks were currently swimming. The sun was shining; it reflected from the water's surface and into Yamato's eyes. He let his head nod down so he was facing his knees. "A beautiful place, for a happy couple..." He muttered to himself, thinking about the first time they sat there as more than just friends. It was where they had first kissed, where they had first admitted their love for each other, where they had sat every week (at the least) and reminisced over their past adventures together. It was where, even more so recently, they had dreamt about their future. Yamato only hoped that future was still there.
"I can't believe how stupid I was!" He thought to himself, angrily. He wanted to tear himself apart for what he'd done. He never would have guessed that Tai's parents knew nothing about their son being gay. Tai was always saying how they were fine with them, and they liked how the two of them spent so much time together, and how himself and Taichi obviously cared a lot about each other... but Tai had neglected to mention to them that they were a couple. Yamato assumed that they already knew, and yesterday, during a conversation with them, brought it up. If they weren't shell shocked by his announcement, then he certainly was by the homophobic outburst they gave in reply. He'd escaped quickly, and spent the next hour wondering how to tell Taichi. Unfortunately, his parents had called him first. All in all, it had led them into a big fight and Taichi had decided to leave because he needed to think about things. Yamato had broken his trust, even if he hadn't realised it. They had both spent the night alone, and feared what was going through the other's head.
Five more minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Taichi. Yamato sighed, and let his mind trail through his worries. "I really hope I've not screwed this up. He said on the phone he loves me, but...what if it's a kind of 'I love you but can't be with you' love? What if he wants to end things, and that's why he didn't talk about it on the phone?" Tears began to well up in his bright blue eyes, again, but he straightened up in his seat and sniffed. "No. I've got to be strong. For him. If it's what he needs...if it's what he wants, then I-I'll do anything."
Taichi pulled a small, pink leaf out of his think, fluffy brown hair and started to smile. "Stupid hair, always getting stuff in it..." He let the leaf go and watched it glide in front of him on the steady breeze. Somehow, it reminded him of Yamato. (Then again, most things did) It was pretty, graceful, free...it could almost have been dancing, with the wind as its partner. Alone, they're ok. A nice breeze and a nice leaf. Together, though, they're beautiful to behold. "Wow." He muttered to himself, hearing his own giggle inside of his head. "I'm kinda poetic...maybe I could help Yama to write a few songs."
Ahead of him was the small, cobbled path that led towards the pond and, hopefully, to where Yamato would be waiting. Taichi was running a little late, but he knew how patient his Yama was. He wouldn't move for another hour or two yet if he knew Tai was coming. "Just walking down here is enough proof as to why I can't break things off with him." Taichi thought, feeling another smile coming on. "Every little thing brings back memories of the two of us. We used to play around here all through the summer as kids..." The back of a bench, with a large tree planted on each side, came into view. "And that's where I first kissed my Yama-koi!" Taichi walked nearer, but slowed down as it occurred to him that he couldn't see anyone there. No head of bright, blonde hair that had been styled perfectly, with bits sticking up in every direction, was in sight. "Oh, no...what if he didn't think I was coming? What if...?" He cut off his jumbled thoughts, as the all too familiar head of hair popped up. He had obviously been keeping his head down for some reason. Relief flooded through Taichi's body. He walked up, slowly and steadily, treasuring every moment of being close to the one he truly loved. How could he have ever thought of breaking up with him?
With an effort Yamato lifted his head back up, and dried his eyes one more time. "I have to be strong, dammit!" His cheeks flushed red; he was furious with himself. "If I wasn't so stupid, and immature, and...and weak! If I could...if I...if I could just be everything he deserves..." He moved to hang his head down again, but before his chin could hit his chest, it landed on something else. Something much smoother. Opening his eyes, he saw that Taichi had wrapped his arms around him from behind, and he could feel Tai's chin nuzzling against the top of his head. "Tai...you're gonna mess up my hair." There was no reply for a moment, until they both began laughing (in Tai's case, giggling) and Tai removed his arms, before walking around the bench to sit next to the guy he loved.
"Hi, Yama. Listen..." Taichi began.
"No, please let me say my bit first. I may not get a chance to, otherwise." Yamato interrupted. "I was completely out of line yesterday. I know I tried to make excuses but...well, I don't know. I was just completely, 100% in the wrong and I'm sorry. Please, please forgive me Tai."
"Yama...I already forgave you an hour or so ago." Tai giggled into his hand, before kissing Yamato tenderly on the cheek. Yamato had forgotten how soft Taichi's lips felt. "Listen, I don't know what I was thinking last night. I was just angry, and I hated how everything had happened and I blamed you but...but...I didn't even tell you that they didn't know about me! I just assumed you wouldn't bring it up and...that's my fault. I guess I'm scared of my parents, now, as I know how bad they are with the whole gay thing. I took it out on you and I'm so, so sorry! Please don't leave me!" Yamato just stared back at him in disbelief; blue eyes locked with brown, and he snuggled up closer to him, placing a hand on Tai's thigh. "...Yama?"
"Tai, of course I'm not going to leave you! I love you, so much! The only way I'll ever go is if you tell me to, and even then I might not."
"Y-you mean it? I'm not gonna lose you?" Taichi replied, once again starting to grin.
"Of course, I was so scared when you said you might need to break up with me. I know how easy it is to mess up something truly special now, so I'll never betray your trust again. And I'll always be by your side, ok? You'll never lose me."
"I'll never lose you..."
"That's right, Tai. Some things, they...Some things can never be lost. What we have, right here? I think that's one of those things. You know what I mean? I'm going to love you forever, and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way."
"I do. Oh, Yama, I love you so much!" Tai replied, grabbing his boyfriend in a hug, before pulling back to stare him in the eyes. "Never fight again?"
"Course we will, when haven't we?" Yamato laughed.
"You know how I mean, Yamaaaa!" Taichi replied, sticking out his bottom lip in a pretend pout.
"I know, sorry. Of course we won't fight like this again." Tai grabbed him by the shoulders, and kissed him passionately on the lips. Before Yamato could lose his whole train of thought to the heavenly bliss that was his Tai, he quietly thought to himself "I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
Geez, would you just listen to these two overly dramatic love muffins?
*receives a punch to the face from a certain brunette*
Ok. Maybe I had that coming. Moving along.
Thank you very much for making it this far. If you have done so, I can only assume that you decided to read the original story as well as the re-write. I cannot imagine what possessed you to do such a thing. But I appreciate it nonetheless! Thank you!
I just hope you had fun whilst you were here.
All the best!