Labyrinth: MST3K
I don't own Green on Green, that's Bitchboi's work.

Theme Song…
Everyone must have a theme song!


Once upon a time,
In a school somewhere someplace,
There was a bunch of kids,
All staring out in space
Each liked Harry Potter and Labyrinth,
CATS fanfics, and Sailor Moon,
And now they're stuck in a school in space! (Like I would be able to rhyme anyway!)

(here's where we break away from the space cases theme song and into the roll call.)

Ehren the Goddess (me): YAY!
Queen Andrea: Uh… where's the David Bowie look a like…
Ray Ray: dude…I don't even like Labyrinth…
Czar Nick: same here…. Why us…
Jareth: I never authorized a man in here..

::Jareth zapps Nick::

Ehren: dude! Ya killed him!

Jareth: and I'll do even more if another guy comes in here!

Ray: um… why am I here…

Jareth: because you wished yorself here that's why…

Ray: um no I didn't…

::Andrea sheepishly raises her hand:: um… I did…

Ray and Jareth::@.@

Ehren: hee hee… Andrea's in trouble! (sings)

Andrea: Put a sock in it!

Ehren: Speaking of socks….

Jareth: Shut it!

Ray, Ehren, Andrea grin::

Ray: why… is it true that it's really only a sock…?

Jareth: I'm warning you… shut it or you'll have to read a lemon!

Andrea::@.@

Ray: uh… what's a lemon…? Is it what you call yor thingy? ::grins devilishly::

Jareth: @.@

Jareth: fine… I see that none of you know what a lemon is… let me show you then…

Ehren: oh no… not a lemon! God…. It's our first time here! Come on! Give us a break!

Jareth: that's what Libby and her crew said when they were here last… of course that was on my wonderful peach satellite….

Jareth: time to read!!!!!!
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Performing Arts building

Mr. Sharp: All right… I want a clean reading and I don't want any food in here… frastansie?

Andrea: eh?

Ehren: understand….

Andrea: oh yeah… okay!

::Mr. Sharp goose steps out of the theatre::

Ehren: theatre Nazi….

They all sit down and the story starts…..


Harry wiped his sticky palms on the knees of his pajamas and opened the little black diary.

Ehren: Twelve years old and he's already doing things naughty….

Andrea: shut it!

He ran his fingers over the cool white page admiringly before dipping the tip of his quill into his inkpot, and writing Hullo Tom.

Ray: Tom Riddle? Oh man… I knew I shouldn't have asked what a lemon was…

Ehren: how can a piece of fifty year old paper retain it's youth?

Andrea: by diping itself in the dark arts!

Ray: and for 10, 500 dollars a month… you can too!

Hullo, Harry. The words bled themselvs across the page in Tom's slashy, spidery hand, lines black and maniacally graceful. What's on your mind this evening?

Ehren: um… I was wondering if you could do me in front of yor future self…

Ray is catching on:: and then maybe he/you could join in?

Andrea: uh… guys… what are you talking about?

Harry frowned. I can't sleep He scribbled onto the page. Sometimes I guess I just think too much

Ehren: I'll say… and so does this Bitchboi…

Atleast you think. Some people never really do, you know. Think, that is. Are you lonely?

Ray: yes and… I would like a lolly pop as well…

Andrea: I think… ::frowns:

Ehren: we know you do dearie… just stay in yer clueless cloud… this is going to get ugly…

The Gryffindor nodded to himself, sighing heavily. Yeah, I guess I am, tonight.

I was lonely too, when I went to Hogwarts. You won't always be, don't fret.

Harry nibbled the end of his quil as he thought of what to write in responce. Not that kind of lonely. I'm lonely in a.. He blushed, unable to believe he was pouring himself out in such a way.. different kind of way. I mean, I've got friends for the first time in my entire life, and I couldn't be happier about that... but.

Ray: is he kiddin?

Ehren: unfortunately no….

Andrea: HE'S ONLY TWELVE!

Ehren: ::sighs as she rolls her eyes:: now yer catching on…

Ray: yer a quick one ain'tcha…

Would you like to come into my diary again, Harry?

Ehren: Would you like to see how far I can go without going to jail?

Ray: Jailbait!

Andrea: that was a stupid movie…

Sure.

Ray: (Devil) that's what they all say when they sign the contract…

Once again, and just as before, a small, dark window appeared in the center of the page. His green eyes were drawn to the little black box. It seemed so full of space, somehow. Curiously, he pushed one finger through the box, his skin tasting the vast and empty black. The next thing he knew, he was falling, slipping through the folds of lightless velvet space and into the realm within the small black book.

He landed, quite suddenly and with a thump, upon his back, sprawled across the cool stone floor. Blinking and straightening his glasses, Harry looked around, wondering which memory it was that Tom wanted to show him this time.

Ehren: um… through yer head?

Andrea: this boy's balls haven't even dropped!

Ray: he won't need them….

"Hullo Harry,"

He blinked and started, raising his face and looking, confused, towards the voice that had spoken. Upon the bed, Tom was reclining with a cheerful smirk upon his pink lips.

Ehren: AAARGH! HE'S WEARING ANDREA'S LIPSTICK!

Andrea: I was wondering what had happened to it.

"I thought.."

Ehren: ah… he thought!

Ray: well apparently he didn't if he is in the diary with his enemy…

"Oh. This isn't a memory, exactly. You see, it's all part of the spellwork. I reasoned that, if for whatever reason, I couldn't *show* someone a memory, I might as well be able to make it so I could tell them. You know, it's always good to have a back-up plan," Tom explained, and all the while Harry watched that dangerous smile flicker and flash over Tom's cool, pale features.

Ehren: (sings) Tommy can you hear me!

Andrea: really only an excuse to have the two do the nasty…

Ray: now yer catchin on kiddo!

Half an hour later, the two were stretched across Tom's bed, laughing and discussing Quidditch. Harry had told Tom all about his adventures as the *only* first year seeker ever in Hogwarts history, and was feeling quite comfortable. "You know, Harry. I must admit that I feel.. almost an instant rapor with you." Tom said, and once again Harry was captivated by that soft, mysterious smile. He let it seize his imagination for just a few seconds, allowing himself to think raw, crazed thoughts.

Ehren: what crazed thoughts, he's only twelve!

Ray: rapor shampor….where's his sock!

Andrea: Jareth's borrowing it…

Jareth: Ladies…. What did I tell you…

Andrea: ooops… did I say something bad?

"Really?"

Ehren: (Harry) nah… I bet that's what you say to all the jailbait boys…

Harry turned to look at Tom and smiled, chin in his hands. "I feel that way too. Like we understand eachother."

Andrea: (Tom) yeah… I try to kill you and you deform me…

Ehren: it's just that simple…

"I think we do, Harry. Maybe more than you realize.."

Ehren: says the magic mushroom to the human about to squash it…..

Then, the fifth year leaned forward, very slowly, to plant a kiss at the corner of Harry's mouth.

Ray: oh yeah… two guys about to get it on… that just makes my day…

Harry kissed Tom back as best he could, his lips working sweet and clumsy. All at once Tom was upon him, hands cool and soft and moving in a white fury as they unbuttoned Harry's shirt. They traveled down his stomach and stopped to play, teasing, with the zipper.

Ray: oh yeah…. Oh yeah… oh baby oh baby… ::starts making kissy faces::

Andrea: ::smacks her:: stop that! Or we'll never get out of here!

Ehren: that was quick.. since when was Harry ever gay anyhow…

Andrea: (Ginny) oh… that's okay Harry… I'm going out with my brother Ron instead…

Ray: EEWWW! NASTY! I WOULD RATHER HANDLE JARETH'S SOCK!

Jareth: shut it! Or I'll keep you reading more lemons!

Harry nodded as his mind raced double time,

Ray: (anouncer) remember kids… racing is bad, double time is alright

Ehren: May the games begin!

troubled not only by the idea of sex itself, but the idea of sex with another *boy*. Their eyes met, green on green for just a second before he blinked, blushed and looked away. He knew it was too late. His eyes had already betrayed him.

Ehren: We must have the Title in the story, must we not?

"Harry.. You ought not to be afraid." Tommy ran one finger down the ridge of his jawline, before cupping the second year's face in his hands. Eyes shining, he whispered "Would I ever hurt you, Harry?"

Andrea: (Harry) yeeees…. But seeing as how I can't comprehend what the hell yor doing to me, I don't mind!

. "No, Tom.. I don't think you would," He finally answered, and eventhough the words sounded strange coming from his own mouth, his fear seemed to ebb away, forgotten and buried far in the back of his mind.


Ray: there's that Ebb again…

Andrea: is that your name little girl or are you fooling with your mothers maxis again…?

Ehren: what does THAT have to do with anything…!

Andrea: nothing, I just felt like saying that….

Ray and Ehren: @.@
We've tainted her!

Harry's trousers were tossed to the floor carelessly, and then Tom's hands were running up the insides of Harry's twelve year old thighs, spreading them wide open. He bucked upwards and Tom smiled.
"Sweet Harry..."

Ehren: we must have more description! And please do check yer grammar from time to time….

Andrea: not like you can talk…

Ehren: ::hit's Andrea on her waist::

Ray: this should be interesting… screwin him from the front…

Andrea: I think I'm going to be sick….

Ehren: save it for Sock King…

Jareth: I heard that!

Harry looked down over his own naked body and blushed.

Ehren: (announcer)step right up! Ladies and gentlemen….

He'd never been bare in front of anyone before and the cool air on his pale skin excited him.

Ray: (announcer) see the amazing nekkid boy who lived!

Andrea: only thirty bucks if ya want to see it!

He felt impatient as he watched tom undress, and when tom finally kicked his way out of his pants, Harry, shyly, pulled him close. the sensation of warm dry skin moving against more warm dry skin overwhelmed him; sighing and shifting like the restless sands of a flesh sahara in tom's arms.

Ray: I'm getting outta here before I have to read more…. ::gets up and starts to walk away and is hit with a bunch of loud sirens.::

Jareth: just a precaution… don't want any of you walking away now do we…

Ehren: it's almost painful….

Andrea: what..

Ehren: her capitalization!

Ray: (announcer) dry skin? Then you need warm dry skin in a bottle…

Ehren: Ray… that was lame…

Ray pouts:: I know…

Andrea: not as bad as THIS however…

"Are you ready, Harry?"

"Uh-huh.."

Ehren: (Tom) Are you ready to have yer twelve-year-old ass tapped repeatedly by a sodomite?

Ray: (Harry) YES SIR!

Andrea: what have we been reduced to?

Ray: survey says?

Ehren: Jareth's sock finders…

Jareth: ENOUGH!

When Tom finally slid into Harry, Harry arched and moaned, his pubescent voice cracking and echoing through the chambers. Tom rocked Harry in his lap and clutched fistfuls of his hair.

Ehren: We must have the fistfuls of hair… Harry'll be bald by the third book….

He licked and bit and took more than his fair share of the second year and when they were finished Harry seemed mute, his wide wide eyes hardly blinking at all.

Ray: AAARGH!

Andrea: ATTACK OF MICHEAL JACKSON'S LOVE TOY ZOMBIE!

He kepts his thin, pale arms around the older boy's shoulders and wrapped his legs about Tom's waist, thighs still trembling. Tom, seemingly very satisfied, petted Harry's hair and yawned.

Ray: like the cat who screwed the chicken….

Ehren: @.@

Andrea: where'd THAT come from!

Ray: so I felt like sayin that! Get off my back!

Jareth: ladies, ladies…. Continue….

"Let's go to sleep, Harry..." Tom trailed a slow, sensual fingertip down Harry's arm.

Ehren: and let's get outta here!

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Ray: god… it's good to be out of there!

Ehren: Yeah… I bet Mr. Theatre Nazi is glad we are too…. I wonder if he actually struck a deal with the devil….

Andrea: You mean Sock Boy…..

Ehren: That was cruel… The Devil is a much NICER person than that!

Jareth: I heard that!

Disclaimer:: okay… I don't own the idea of doing this kind of thing with Jareth… In fact… it was Libby Sarah that inspired me to do my own… I am truly not trying to plagiarize…. Just be funny with my bizarre sense of humor… I was going to use Q at first, but since after I read her MST3K Labyrinth bit… and about that sock… I had to do it… it was a must….

Stinger: Eyes shining, he whispered "Would I ever hurt you, Harry?"