Wow guys! This is the last OFFICIAL chapter! The road has been long, but the end is drawing near~ *cue cheesy montage music* Which is why this chapter has taken bloody forever to write. I've never finished a story before so this was a difficult task indeed. Thank you all who has faved my story or reviewed. I cherish them all…. Oh jeez, where's a handy tissue when you need them?
DISCLAIMER: Officially guys- I DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS TO ED, EDD, N' EDDY!
Thank you and enjoy!
That blood stain was gonna be a bitch to get out.
So in the end it had been Eddy who saved the day? I couldn't tell if my mind was reeling from that astonishing happenstance or the fact that I had been knocked out with a sharp blow to the head. I think I was giving myself a double migraine. Did they prescribe pills for that?
I had woken up to flashing red and blue lights, pretty out of it at the time and confused as hell, so the first few seconds were discombobulating and I merely laid there trying desperately to gain my bearings. After that bout of self induced panic, it all came back to me in a rush.
The complete surrealism of all the shit that had gone down that afternoon had me stunned once again and I still couldn't find it in me to move. Had all that really happened? Or did I just pass out on my bed and had one hell of a crazy crack dream? It wouldn't be the first time that has happened.
That's when I noticed my surroundings. I was lying down on an uncomfortable stretcher in the back of an ambulance and there were all sorts of disorientating noises and lights going on all around. Really it was no surprise why I was finding it so difficult to even think straight. And then one tiny detail slapped me square in the face.
I had woken up alone.
I counted to fifty and attempted to get my heart rate lowered (because it was embarrassing to be able to hear it clearly on the monitor placed somewhere near me) before some paramedic had noticed my consciousness. He climbed back into the truck and went about attending me while interrogating in a bored tone which I assumed was to assess whether or not I had sustained a concussion. Besides the blinding headache, I felt fine. Queasy, but fine. Thoroughly mind fucked but… it was deal able. At least I wasn't completely alone anymore.
When the paramedic had ceased his rapid fire procession of questions, I felt it safe to ask some questions of my own now that I could keep my thoughts in order. The concern had begun to well up like a bubble uncomfortably in my stomach.
"Are- are my friends okay?" I asked hesitantly, voice slightly chocked.
The paramedic looked up from the chart he had been scribbling on after the check up then, with a quick unreadable glance my way, focused his attention back on to the chart.
"None of them had any sustainable injuries; just you," he spoke (oddly cheerfully for a guy who had to deal with seriously injured people all day) as he finished whatever the hell he was writing with a flourish. "And you… are good to go! Just take a couple of Tylenol for that headache and you'll be right as rain in no time!"
I was finding it excruciatingly difficult to keep my thoughts straight and prioritize and this dude was starting to get on my nerves with his stupid grin.
"That other guy was a whole lot worse off than you," The man mumbled, almost to himself. I looked up sharply and regretted it almost instantly when I nearly blacked out and toppled off the stretcher I was sitting on.
"What guy?" I demanded as soon as I had regained my vision.
"The one who was keeping you and your friends hostage. Mark? Matt? Something like that," he waved his hand around casually. "Anyway, apparently one of your friends stabbed him."
My eyes widened to comic proportions. Which friend? Not Edd, he's too much of a pacifist. Eddy? Probably not. He'd be too busy cowering in the corner and pissing himself. Well that would be my first thought anyway, but then who else could have done it? Ed? Ed was the best bet. Always watch out for the happy ones with abnormally crazy strength.
"Is Matt… dead?" I asked hesitantly, maybe even a little hopefully. Hey don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm generally a blood thirsty type of person, but the guy tried to kill me, dammit!
"Oh no," said the paramedic as he helped me off the stretcher and leapt out of the opened back of the ambulance, gesturing for me to leave. "The knife missed all the major organs. Got him right in the shoulder so he'll be out of commission for a good long time. Not that it matters. I doubt he'll ever get outta jail."
"Good," I grunted as I descended the still flashing vehicle. With one last glance at the busy paramedic, I ran right into a police officer.
"We phoned your parents," he said brusquely. "They're on their way now."
"Yeah okay," I said squinting at his sun glasses and wondering why the hell he needed them when the sun was long gone over the horizon. "Where are my friends?"
The officer scowled lightly, obviously annoyed by my interruption, but answered curtly nonetheless. "They've already reported to me and were then escorted home."
Resentment welled up inside. So they just ditched me after all that without even checking if I was okay or not? Or maybe they had, but I was still knocked out. Or something.
"Oh and one of them, the short one I believe, said it was all right if you stayed with him till your parents got back," he announced, effectively cutting off my dizzying thoughts. Eddy had said that?
"I have some questions for you first though."
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It took me an hour to answer all of the officer's stupid questions and then he had the gall to tell me that "it wasn't really necessary considering we've already been told most of what happened from your friends, but it's best to get everyone's account on the tale." Thanks for wasting an hour of my life dude, no really, thank you. I can now never get that hour back.
"So what's going to happen now?" I asked. "And what the hell happened to the woman who is said to be my sister but is in fact actually a demon possessing my sister's body?"
The officer snorted and said, "Well as for your sister, she's going to jail- no questions about it- along with her tag team boyfriend. And you and your family, I guess, can move back to your home and go on living your lives normally."
"You live a charmed life if you think anything from now on could be considered normal, mister."
The police officer told me to 'bug off' after that.
So then I immediately went to Eddy's house. Okay, so maybe not immediately. I mean, I did have to clean up a bit and change out of my majorly messed up clothes. It seriously grossed me out seeing the fucking pond of blood staining the carpet in my bedroom, so I went about cleaning up as much of it out as I could and then as soon as I went to take some much needed painkillers my mom called.
Which ended up giving me a triple migraine.
"Are you okay? What happened? I knew this was going to happen if I left you all alone by yourself!" My mother was practically screeching through the receiver into my already sensitive ears.
"You knew I was going to get roped down and held hostage by my idiot sister and then knocked out by one of her many terrible life decisions?"
"Don't get a smart mouth with me, young lady!"
"I can't help it, I'm smart so smart things just come out of my mouth sometimes."
"… Your father and I will be there in the morning. In the mean time, lock all the doors and windows- see I bet that's how they got into the house in the first place, you didn't lock any of the doors and windows- and try and rest. Even if we don't have to stay into hiding anymore doesn't mean you can't be careful. Best keep a bat on you or some mace or something."
"Will we be moving back into our old house now Mom?" What with, you know, everything going on, I hadn't even given that a thought. What was I going to do if we packed up again and moved right back out?
I ended up making new friends in this town. Enemies. Frienemies. The point is, at first, I would have been practically fucking happy with getting out of this neighborhood. But now? Now I didn't even know. Yah Ed and Edd were totally tight with me and it would sting like a bitch to lose contact with those two. I had grown unaccountably fond of them in the few months that I've been here. But Eddy? That was just too convoluted to even contemplate. It's like one minute I like him, one minute I may even like him, but then one teeny tiny thing can be done or said and I abhor his entire existence all over again (and vice versa I'm sure).
And how the hell had that even happened? I suppose there was always a passionate emotion being felt between the both of us, but I could never decide whether it was hate or love.
I had bypassed triple and gone straight into a quadruple headache.
"Well your father and I had decided that it would be best to just stay in the new house instead of moving back to the old one. I swear I am never moving again! I was the only one doing anything anyways, no one ever wants to help out unpacking or packing and blah blah blah-"
"Awesome Mom. Well I'm gonna go lie down and take a breather. It's kinda been a long day."
"Okay, I'll see you soon honey."
I stood there like a dork in front of Eddy's bedroom door for approximately five minutes and thirty-nine… forty seconds. Just standing there. And then I brought down my fist onto the door and beat it like it had done me wrong. I only had to wait a short minute for a response to my beat down on the door. That one short minute felt like five more minutes. So theoretically I had been standing there for ten minutes and… forty-five seconds. Ten long minutes… and fifty-two seconds of second guessing, nervous doubts, and a general feeling of unease that had my stomach in a tight grip. What the hell was I even doing here? And what the hell was I even going to say?
'Hey so thanks for saving my life, oh and by the way, I still think you're an asshole. But a descent asshole. So yah. And I kinda like/hate you. It's your fault I feel this way. Just thought I'd let you know. Oh and thanks a lot for letting that other asshole bleed all over my carpet. Couldn't you have come up with a tidier way of getting rid of him? I mean really? Do you know how tough blood is to get out?'
See? I can't even come up with a hypothetical conversational topic without bickering with him.
"Okay, okay! Stop beating my door like it owes you money! Jesus, what the hell-" Eddy opened the door, stopped mid-rant to stare at me then promptly said, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"…The… police officer wearing the standard cop sunglasses told me 'the short guy' said I could stay with 'the short guy' for a while."
"Why do you keep repeating 'the short guy'?"
"I just wanted to stress the 'short' part. Seeing as how you're the shortest person I know, I can only assume he meant you."
"For someone asking to stay over at my place, you sure are going about it in a strange way."
"I'm not asking if you're the one inviting me over."
"Then why the hell are you even here?"
"Well someone went and shanked a guy in my room and now there's blood freaking everywhere and I'm not really in the mood to sleep at a crime scene."
"You coulda just slept in the living room. Or you know, anywhere else for that matter."
"I don't see why you're gonna be like this if you're the one that had invited me in the first place."
Eddy groaned and flopped his face in his hands briefly before sighing and stepping back inside his room. "Whatever just come in already."
Hesitantly, I entered the gaudy and disco infested bedroom. "You do know that disco is dead right?"
"If you're going to stay the night then there are going to be some ground rules," Eddy said with a pointed jab towards my face. "And rule number one? Do not talk trash 'bout my music. Rule two is to not touch my music either."
I slapped his hand away with a sour look on my face and said, "I told you I'm not spending the night here. What would the neighbors say?"
"They would say that it is so sweet for me to take in that poor and mentally challenged girl and what a wonderful person I am to have to put up with you," he said with batted eyes.
"Oh ha ha," I grumbled. "Let me guess, that's what all the neighbors tell your parents about you?" Eddy opened his mouth to argue but I cut in. "I had decided it would be best for me to go and camp outside for the night."
Eddy squinted his eyes at me then turned and sat down on his tall backed chair (though I'm sure any chair is tall backed to him. Yes, I am having way too much fun with the short jokes.)
"Really? Camping outside by yourself after what we just went through?" he said skeptically. "I seriously doubt you'd last very long."
"And what is that supposed to imply?" I asked as I folded my arms against my chest.
Eddy waved his hand around thoughtlessly and replied casually, "Oh you know-dark, all by yourself, strange noises, animals… thinking at any minute someone or something is going to jump out and get you."
"I can't tell if you're trying to scare me or get me to just stay at your place in a cruel way."
"Can't it be both?"
I rolled my eyes and sat down on his bed. "You are incorrigible."
"What did you just call me?"
"Forget it," I sighed, the conversation was starting to get a little out of hand.
Eddy sighed in exasperation, "Look, why are you so against just staying here for one night?"
I squirmed uncomfortably as silence stretched between us. There was no doubt in my mind that whatever the hell there was between Eddy and I, it needed to be confronted. Preferably now while it's just me and him alone and before we end up getting into another huge argument and I back out again. Because apparently I can't seem to ignore the guy and he can't ignore me. No matter what idiotic things the idiot says.
And I'm not one to hide my feelings or anything. That's always been one of my top rules.
"It's just," I struggled for a moment. How the hell was I supposed to approach this? I decided quickly to go with the hurricane approach. Subtly would most likely be lost on a character like Eddy anyway. "I'm really confused in how to deal with this situation."
Eddy stared at me for a moment, confusion clear on his face, "What situation?"
I rolled my eyes so hard I almost strained something. See? Subtly is pointless.
"This whole confusing relationship you and I seem to have," I said slowly. Eddy's face went carefully blank quickly and then went back to confusion. But I could tell it was forced.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh don't you pull that crap with me!" I said in frustration before I hauled myself off the bed and started pacing around the room. "Since the beginning, there's always been this strange tension and don't you dare start saying that you have no idea what I'm talking about because you do! The whole awkward moments and then those weird moments where you actually try comforting me-"
"I do not comfort-"
"And then the Naz debacle-"
"What does Naz have to do with this?"
"And just when I thought you were the sorriest excuse of a human-"
"That's hitting below the belt-"
"You go and save my freaking life!"
"I don't understand why you're so upset by this," he said grumpily. "You should be kissing my feet now."
I stopped my pacing abruptly and placed my hands on my hips. "Is that why you did it?" I demanded. "You saved my life so I would owe you? Be in your debt, so to speak?"
Eddy flushed and tried to cover it up with an over compensating smirk. "Of course I did! Now you can be my slave and do everything I tell you to do."
My face clearly expressed just what I felt about that idea as did my middle finger.
With a well placed bitch face, Eddy sighed like the freaking world was coming down on his shoulders and flashed his eyes everywhere around the room until they landed on me.
"Okay," he conceded, clearly displeased. "So maybe I came back because…" His bitch face got bitchier and he sunk down lower in his chair like he was trying to disappear. "Because I might…. L-lo… like you. Or something. Whatever."
That might have been the worst declaration of love I have ever heard. It comes as no surprise that it was directed at me. I was shocked though when I felt this incredibly warm and happy feeling spread through me.
"Oh God," Eddy grumbled. "This is about to turn into a freaking chick-flick moment isn't it."
"Shut up," and then I sealed that chick-flick moment by bending down (way down cause, you know, he's so short and all) and kissed him.
And no, the gods did not shine light down on us from the heavens and cupids did not come out shooting stars out their butts or anything else that those cheap romance novels harped on about.
It was just a kiss. A really short kiss.
Because unfortunately for me, I am in love with a loser who no one but his two best friends like and who probably loves money more than me and who I am sure will piss me off multiple times in one day alone and who-
Okay why do I like him so much again?
Eddy pulled back and stared up at me. "Does this mean you're going to stay then? Because I already set up the couch for you. And made popcorn so I can throw at you."
"I can never really tell if I hate you or love you, you idiot," I sighed affectionately.
"It's probably cause of my devilishly handsome good looks," he smirked, eyes sparkling up into mine and he pulled me down for another kiss. And okay maybe there may have been a couple of fat babies wielding arrows floating around with stars coming out of their butts and rainbows and unicorns and shit this time around. Maybe those romance novels weren't completely overdramatic and excessive to the point of puking.
When we finally came up for air, I said, "Even with the threat of a popcorn battle, I'm still not staying the night."
"What? Why not!"
"Because! What kinda girl do you think I am?" I straightened (because the whole bending down thing was starting to kill my back) and took a step away from the chair and Eddy. "Just cause I might kinda sorta like you back doesn't mean I'm gonna have sex with you immediately!"
Eddy opened his mouth to retort but then stopped and, with a crafty gleam in his eyes, asked, "So just not immediately?"
"And what exactly gave you the brilliant idea to invite these two clowns?" Eddy hissed at me a couple of hours later.
"The term 'clown' should never be used around me Eddy," I intoned seriously. "Do you know how creepy those things are? Just a single image alone will send me into an epileptic fit for a good five minutes."
"Then you wouldn't like to watch Death Clowns: They come From the Sewers Part Five. That movie is really scary! And there are so many dead pies!" Ed said, a tad tearfully as he gripped me tightly and squeezed the life right out of my air passages.
"Easy there, big guy!" I wheezed.
"I knew you would come and help Eddy, I knew it," Edd said smugly from the other side of the tent.
Eddy flopped down on his sleeping bag (strategically placed next to my own as soon as the tent had been put up) and shot him a dirty glare. "Well of course you knew it, Double Dee, you know everything," he mocked.
Edd snickered behind his hand. "It's nothing to be ashamed of! You are just now showing everyone your true colors and what a hero you can truly be!"
"Oh God, just shut up before I start puking please," Eddy moaned.
"Oh Eddy! You're my hero!" I said breathy and mega girly while clasping my hands to my chest. Eddy threw his pillow at me.
"That's it! See if I ever stab a guy for any of you people again!" he yelled with a huff.
"Wow, so it really was you that had stabbed him?" I asked in complete disbelief.
"Yah, why do you sound so surprised?"
"Well I just figured you'd hide in the corner or just get Ed to help you."
"What! I wouldn't hide in the corner like some damn coward!" Eddy yelled indignantly.
"Really? That sounds exactly like something you'd do," I said as I cuddled down in my sleeping bag. It felt a lot better having three guys around me (not in a 'male harem' kind of way mind you because- ew?) but it felt much safer. And as much as I am hesitant to say, I was still sort of in shock and the more people to keep me company the better.
And also, what with that whole huge fight with Eddy that I had and when we weren't talking to each other, it had been a while since it was just us hanging out and goofing off. So this felt good, better than good.
Double Dee was still poking fun at Eddy and Ed was putting down chips like a starving man and throwing out his own opinion at odd moments (generally making the situation worse). And it felt great.
I couldn't keep the smile from my face.
Eddy turned at scowled at me. "What are you smiling about," he demanded. My smile didn't move at all.
"Oh nothing," I said, practically beaming and a little laugh bubbled out. Ed laughed with me and soon everyone save for Eddy was laughing. He threw up his hands in defeat and called us all a bunch of weirdoes.
And if Eddy scooted closer to me and slipped his hand into mine beneath the sleeping bag, no one was going to mention it.
"Aww I wanna hold Charlotte's hand too Eddy!" That is, no one except Ed was going to mention it.