Title: Pick-Up Lines
Pairing: Kingcrabshipping - Jack Atlas x Yuusei Fudo
A/N: Um...lol. I have no idea how to write these two. This story is lame. Go away.
It was a regular day in Neo Domino City. Yuusei was off repairing software and managing the D-Wheels, Crow was off doing his deliveries as usual, and Jack was off being fired in every job he received.
"Hmph, those people don't know the value of my decorating skills..." Jack grumbled to himself as he was kicked out of his third job that morning. It wasn't even noon and already, he broke his record for being fired in one day.
He was walking noiselessly down an alley for a shortcut to his next job when he stepped on something. He looked down, a bit vexed that his shoes were being dirtied at such a disgusting place. But what was that beneath his boots? A book? Jack picked it up, brushing the dirt off of it.
Pick-Up Lines for Idiots Like You
Jack stared at the book, the book's little mascot stared back at him. The blond D-wheeler and book shared a quick thirty second staring contest before Jack turned around to go back to his favorite place: the cafe.
He tossed the dirty book on the table, successfully covering it up with a menu and a few napkins. Jack Atlas did not want to be seen in public with a pick-up line for dummies book. He flipped through a few pages and finally thought of a wonderful idea.
He could use some of these beautiful lines.
It was late, but not late enough for Crow to arrive back home. The male had to drive far into Neo Domino that day and had lots of packages to deliver, so Jack assumed the man wouldn't be home for a long time. That was perfect.
Phase one of Jack-X-Yuusei plan start commence.
Jack smirked to himself before walking down the stairs quietly to where Yuusei was busy researching. From this point of view, it looked more like Yuusei was looking up pictures of funny cats. Perhaps he wanted to add something about cats on the next Yuusei Model, Jack had no clue.
Said male did not turn, but replied with a small grunt.
"You know, if I rearranged the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together."
There was a long silence. Jack almost thought Yuusei didn't hear him. The sound of typing continued as Yuusei seemed to have changed websites to a video sharing site. Jack was about to talk again before the shorter male interrupted. "But the letters 'U' and 'I' are already next to each other on the keyboard. You don't have to rearrange the alphabet."
"...Oh. Right." Jack paused for a while before going through the list of lines he selected from the book he had hidden in his pocket. "I'd marry your cat just to get into your family."
Another long silence before Yuusei finished watching a video about a keyboard kitten. "We don't own a kitten. It would be bestiality if you married our imaginary kitten, and also, I'm an orphan if you didn't remember."
"...Alright then. How about... If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"
Yuusei twirled around on his spinning chair and faced the blond. "What?"
"If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."
"My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in."
About now, Yuusei looked completely baffled. "What are you going on about?"
"That's a nice pair of legs. What time do they open?"
"...I think you need rest."
"I'm a raindrop and I fell for you," Jack continued down his list, having half of it memorized in his head by now. "Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes."
Yuusei stood up, putting a hand on Jack's shoulder, although it was technically pretty hard to do since Jack was almost a head taller than him. "Jack, go to bed. You're tired. I'll tell Crow to take it easy on you tomorrow."
"Those are nice pants," Jack pointed to said pants, "can I test the zipper?"
Yuusei looked down at his pants with confusion. "I always wear these pants. They're nothing special..."
"It's my birthday, so can I have a birthday kiss?" Jack recited, looking down at his pocket for the list.
The shorter male looked at the list suspiciously. "Today isn't your birthday..." He murmured, looking thoughtfully at the paper.
"Can I have a kiss anyway?"
Yuusei sighed and snatched the paper away from Jack. He skimmed it over a few times. "What are all these lines for?" He questioned quizzically, looking at Jack for an answer.
"That's not a no, so I'll be taking that kiss now," Jack proclaimed, leaning down for his target.
Later that night, Crow came back home, slightly confused as to why Yuusei and Jack were exchanging strange, albeit funny, pick up lines. He was more baffled as to why Yuusei was sitting on Jack's lap like it was a chair.
Although he never questioned it out loud.