Title: Another Chance
Author: Kyouryoku Senshi
Written for the Mixed Feelings challenge. Elements: Write a fic set after X-Files: I Want To Believe that features Scully finding out that she's pregnant.
Summary: Three years after giving up William, Scully finding out she's pregnant is the last thing she ever expected.
Scully stared up at her doctor in horror as she moved the sonogram wand over her abdomen. Her doctor and colleague smiled down at her, "There certainly is a baby inside there, Dr. Scully. A healthy heartbeat; ten fingers and toes. I'd say you're at least three months along." Scully closed her eyes and placed her hands over her face as she absorbed the news. As a doctor, she knew an at-home pregnancy test was just as accurate as one performed at the doctor's office. When pregnancy was suspected, the doctor would usually perform the same test as the one you can buy over the counter. She did perform the test at home, not once, not twice, but three times. She refused to believe it. William was an absolute miracle, so what were the odds of that miracle happening twice, especially at her age?
When she fainted at the hospital she worked at, she insisted that blood work be performed instead of the usual urine test. In spite of the other doctor's insistence that she must be pregnant after taking three at home tests, she insisted that she needed the blood work done and a sonogram performed. She couldn't believe it; in fact, she was in denial about it for about a month before she decided to go have blood work done. The nausea had passed thankfully, but she could feel her clothes becoming tighter and tighter around her waist and abdomen. How come she had not realized sooner, she asked herself?
The sound of the other doctor's voice brought her back to reality. The taller blond woman looked at her worriedly. "Dr. Scully, are you okay? Should I be asking you if you have intentions other than keeping the baby?"
Dr. Anderson couldn't possibly imagine Scully wanting to have an abortion, but to ask a distraught pregnant patient was routine. Scully tried to force back the tears, upset with herself at the thought that she could just have an abortion and never tell Mulder. She despised herself for allowing these thoughts to even pass through her mind. As much as she was an advocate for a woman's choice, never being able to have children made her count her blessings.
Scully shook her head, "No, I just have to figure out how to tell him," she whispered. As the doctor put the equipment aside, she turned back to Scully. "Did you want a copy of this to show him?"
Scully bit her lip. She wanted to wait until Mulder was there, to share the news with him. The other part of her didn't want to know, for fear of carrying the child until birth and possibly having to give it up. If that were the case, she didn't want to get any more emotionally attached to it than she already was. Hell, how could she not when she would be carrying him or her for the next five months?
"Okay," she said reluctantly.
Tears filled Scully's eyes as she watched image of her baby.
Her OBGYN had chosen that moment to leave her alone in the room while she went to retrieve some prenatal vitamins. Her mind wandered. How could she have another baby? She was forced to give up William, no, chose to give up William because she didn't believe in her ability to protect him. She was also forty one years old; she had a fifty percent more of a chance of miscarriage than a woman in her mid twenties or early thirties. She had many complications during her pregnancy with William. Tears stung her eyes, what would Mulder think?
She caressed the now noticeable bulge. She thought of Emily, the child she had grown to love in such a short time and was devastated by her death. She thought of her mom; she would be delighted to have another female in the family whom she could also her baby girl, besides her only daughter.
Her thoughts drifted back to Mulder. What if he didn't want another child after what happened with William? What if he resented her or shut her out of his life for wanting to keep the child? She shoved those thoughts away. Things were different now. She had Mulder with her and they had a home, a conspiracy-free life. Wouldn't they be able to have another chance?
Her doctor returned with the prescription and a date to come back for another checkup. She resumed work that day, not looking forward to going home that night. It was strange, but she almost always looked forward to coming home to Mulder.
She secured her white coat over her belly as if they whole world suddenly knew since she found out. Thankfully, her loose clothing obscured the bulge, but Mulder most definitely thought she must have been gaining weight. Her belly was prominent.
Scully walked down a familiar corridor to check on a certain boy she had not long ago operated on. She peered through the door to see Christian sitting up in bed. Warmth suddenly filled her heart and she smiled. Convincing his parents to follow through with the surgery had been one of the best things she'd ever done. It had been a success and she was now well recognized not only by his family, but the entire facility. She couldn't have been happier; she was able to successfully treat the Sandhoff disease after some stem cell research. This boy had another chance at life because of her efforts.
Slowly, she walked into the room.
"Hi Dr. Scully," he smiled.
"Hi Christian, you can call me Dana if you'd like." Scully sat next to his bedside.
"How are you doing sweetie?" She gently touched the boy's arm.
"What can I say; I'm going to live thanks to you. You believed in me even when my parents didn't."
Scully looked down. "Your parents just wanted the best for you, Christian. They didn't want to put you through any more treatments, but you deserve a happy life, Christian."
The little boy looked up at her, almost sensing her distress. "Dana?"
"You have a little boy at home; don't you, how old is he?"
Scully remembered him asking this question not too long ago.
Scully looked away, biting her lip. "Uh, he's four, but he's not with me anymore. I had to send him away to protect him from danger."
"Maybe you'll see him again someday?" the boy said sensing Scully's pain.
Scully looked up slowly, blinking away tears. "Yeah," she whispered, trying to keep the evident pain from her voice.
"I'm sure he'll understand that you did it to protect him."
Scully couldn't believe how wise this boy was. "I hope so."
The boy's gaze dropped to her open coat, to where her belly was exposed.
"You're having a baby," he said matter of fact.
Startled, Scully's hand flew to her abdomen. She didn't realize it was that noticeable yet. How did this boy know?
Before she could say anything, he continued. "Is your husband happy about it?"
"Uh, I haven't told him about it yet, but I hope he will be," she said uncertainly.
"Don't worry; I'm sure he'll be really excited."
Already Scully felt a connection to this boy; she could only imagine what William was like now. Was he energetic and talkative or was he shy?
She smiled. "Thank you, Christian."
"So when can I go home," he asked anxiously.
Scully peered at the bandage over his head. She couldn't believe the surgery had been so successful a few months ago.
"You should be able to within a week or so."
"Will I be able to see you again, Dana? I'd like to stay friends."
She smiled warmly and gently touched his arm.
"Yes, Christian. I'd like that very much, too."
Mulder paced around their dark house that was located in the middle of nowhere. Scully was sure later than usual. He had even cooked dinner and everything, what was taking her so long? He sighed. It wasn't until nearly ten o'clock that he heard a car pull up along the lonely road near the house. He peered through the curtains and sighed with relief when he realized who the driver was.
When Scully pulled up in front of their home, she shut off the engine and placed her hand to her belly, as if drawing strength from the child within. She closed her eyes. "I hope your daddy will be excited," she whispered.
Her heart was pounding inside of her chest. It was now or never. Scully eased herself from the car and walked towards their house. She was surprised when Mulder already had the door open when she reached the steps. "Where have you been, Scully, I was worried about you." Mulder pulled her into his arms and she could tell by the lack of stubble, he had himself clean shaven and smelled of aftershave.
She sighed. She didn't think he'd be that worried considering the amount of time and duration her shifts could be at any given moment, especially if she was on call. "I'm okay, Mulder, it was just a longer night at the hospital," she said, finally pulling away and entering the house.
Satisfied, but sensing there was more, Mulder continued. "Is it that boy, Christian?"
Mulder watched her as she placed her purse on the kitchen table and sat down on the couch. "Yeah, he's going to be released in a few weeks. He's doing well," she managed a smile.
Mulder knew how close she felt to this boy, but he also knew she was still feeling the guilt over William. No matter how many times he reassured her that he was not upset with her for what she did; it was still a tender subject between them both.
He sat down next to her. "What else is bothering you, Scully?"
Scully turned towards him, knowing she wouldn't be able to hide her secret much longer. He'd known for the last month or so, that something had been bothering her. He'd known it since she started having morning sickness.
Scully grasped her hands tightly in her lap and turned away. Sensing her distress, Mulder reached out and gently turned her face towards him. Her lips started to quiver and tears escaped her eyes. "It's okay, Scully, tell me what it is," he prodded gently. He had to admit that she had him worried.
Scully sighed, wiping away her tears. She should have been overjoyed, not upset.
"You know how I haven't been feeling well these last few months?"
Mulder nodded, panic filling his features.
"Well, I'm pregnant," her voice broke.
Mulder gasped in shock. Before he could say anything, Scully began to cry.
"I'm sorry; I don't know how this could have happened. I mean, I didn't think I could have anymore children. I'm forty one and I know that with everything that's happened, with William…I'm so sorry Mulder. I understand if you resent me; if you want me to not have this baby-" she broke.
"Scully, wait," Mulder cried.
Before she could finish, Mulder held out his hand. "Wait, Scully, you haven't even heard me out," he insisted.
Scully stared at him through her tears.
"Scully, I'm shocked, surprised….and maybe speechless, but I don't resent you." Mulder finished. He sighed, digesting the news. Another baby. After everything with William, another baby. He instinctively knew her fears and what she must be feeling right now with everything that's happened. Scully watched him for several minutes before he spoke.
Her heart was racing. What was Mulder thinking? Surely not a way to get rid of the baby. She saw his gaze go down, to the opening of her blazer as if just realizing the evidence. This whole time he had believed that she must have just gained a little weight, but her small bump stuck out to him now more than ever.
He reached out his hand and gently rested it on the small swell of her belly. Of course he knew it was too early to feel any real movement, but he felt small flutters that must have been coming from within her womb. "We're going to have a baby; we're going to have another baby Scully," he whispered.
Scully couldn't help but smile. She rested her hand over his. "Yeah, we are."
Mulder started to smile. "I know you choose to have William be a surprise, but do you know what we're having?"
She shook her head. "We won't know for another two months or so."
His grin became even more pronounced. "I don't know if I can wait that long."
"We'll, you'll have to."
Scully watched him with the most fascination. She wished she could have been able to savor this moment when she was expecting William. Maybe they could have another chance.
"How far along are you, Scully?"
"My doctor said about three months."
He stared at her tummy in awe. "And Scully, here I thought you had just taken up a sudden love for Twinkies."
Scully laughed and swatted at his head. "You're the one who got me in this condition, so you'd better not be complaining."
Mulder laughed, still rubbing his hand reverently over the small swell of her stomach.
"Did I mention I find pregnant women to be even sexier when they're carrying my child?"
"That pregnant woman better just be me," Scully said tersely with a twinge of jealousy.
"Of course," he said reassuringly, moving a stray hair from her face.
Silence passed between them for another several minutes before Scully spoke again. "What are we going to do, Mulder?"
"What are we going to do about what?"
"You know, I'm forty one years old. I had many complications during my pregnancy with William and my doctor even told me the miscarriage rates for women my age. I'd have to start bed rest much sooner than most."
"I don't mind the bed rest part," he grinned.
"It's not even that. I just…with everything that's happened with William, I'm not sure I can raise another baby, what if they try and take this one from us too?" she whispered.
"I won't let that happen, Scully, I promise. I'm not going anywhere," he assured her, placing a kiss to her tummy. "I'm going to take care of you, both of you; you just let me worry about that."
She sighed; she could only hope he was right. "What about William?"
He thought for a moment. "We'll get him back."
Tears filled her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. After all these years, she'd be able to hold him in her arms. "How," she was afraid to hope.
"We'll find a way," he said with the outmost determination.