Summary: Scenes from Gladiator we would never, never, never, EVER see....

Author's note : Hi, guys, your favourite pain in the ass here!!!:):):):)

I never planned to write this, it came up suddenly and I couldn't stop myself. Unlike my previous story (*The emperor's final performance* -thank u so much for your feedback, I crave for more;))it was written when I was completely sober, which only proves the theory that I'm mentally ill...

Anyway, I hope you'll like it and I can assure you, this isn't everything. More of forbidden scenes coming soon!!!!!!!!!!

*Deleted, forbidden, but NOT forgotten*.


The scene when the praetorian guard is about to execute Maximus

Maximus (rolls his eyes): Oh, for Jupiter's sake, would you give me a break here?! I'am the leading character of this movie and you think you will actually succeed in killing me almost at the beginning? GET REAL!!!!!!"


Scene in the senate. Gaius is going on about the "affairs who require Commodus's attention". Suddenly we hear a cell phone ring. Commodus touches his pocket and pulls out a fancy, modern cellphone.

Commodus:"Yeah, the emperor here. What's up?"

He walks a couple of steops aside, but we can still hear the conversation:

"Oh, gods, how many times do I have to say this? It's "Playboy", not "Playtoy", morons!!!

And yes, I want all the past year's issues as well!!"

He turns off the phone and looks at the senators, who stare at him in bewilderment

"Sorry gentlemen - online shopping…"


A break in senate's proceedings. We see senators walking around talking on cellphones, some of them are sitting and writing something in their laptops. Suddenly Falco enters in a fancy stride and shouts in excitement -

"Who wants the new Gladiator theme ringtone?"



Commodus sitting in the Colloseum during a particularly boring fight. He sighs, than yawns.

Quintus sees it and asks:"Is the fight boring you ,highness?"

Comodus:"Geez, Quintus, you are soo perceptive… Of course it is!!!"

Commodus thinks:"Okayyyyy. I'm gonna yawn myself to death in a while… But I can't leave, cause the people would be disappointed and all, and I want them to love me. So, what am I gonna do?… Oh, I know!!!! "

He pulls out a Gameboy from a pocket of his garment and starts playing tetris. Quintus sees it and collapses unconcious.


The final combat between the Emperor and the Gladiator. They exchange a couple of sword blows.

Commodus thinks: "Okey-dokey. Let's analyse the situation… I'm a freakin' villain in this movie, so probably he's gonna kill me anyway. Life sucks, I'm gonna die… Or I can use a trick and screw them all, hehehehe…"

The fights go on, Commodus loses his sword.

Then, there should be that moment when he pulls out the dagger from his sleeve. Instead, he pulls out a…. Star Wars- style light sword (I don't know exactly how u call it' but I'm pretty sure u know what I mean.)

Commodus: HAH, What u're gonna do now?


Another one about the fighting scene.

Maximus is brought on that elevator to the arena, alone. He looks around in search of his opponent, Commo.

Sudenly Commodus enters through the back entrance. He's carrying a bazooka. Shoots at Maximus, killing him.

Commodus, looking into the camera: " What? I was supposed to let him smash my throat like that?!"


Location: The city where Maximus' first Gladiator fight took place.

Maximus is talking on a payphone:

"I don't care that the emperor is in the baths now, just tell this shithead I'm alive and I'm coming for him!!!!"


Scene in Germania when Marcus Aurelius summons Maximusus to his tent for that all-important conversation. Maximus enters:

"Okay, dude. Make it quick, 'cause "Passions" on."

Marcus, shakes his head, sighs: " You disappoint me, General. I thought you preferred "Bold and beautiful"


Another all-important conversation in Aurelius' tent:

Commodus enters:"Hi Dad! If this is about the ferrari you were supposed to give me, I've changed my mind. Considering all that mud here in Germania, I would rather get a jeep."

Marcus Aurelius: "Ease off, sonny! I have to buy myself a new electric wheelchair first!!!"


Still in Germania. A wooden makeshift toilet. Marcus Aurelisu is inside. Commodus is standing outside, hammering at the door:

"Father hurry up!!!!!! You've been sitting there for over an hour!!!! I'm gonna pee myself!!"

Maximus is standing behind him:

"And I'm gonna do something worse!!!!"

Marcus "Screw you, I have diarrhea!!!!!"

Maximus, Commodus in unison: "NOT AGAIN!!!!!"


The first grand Emperor-General meeting on the arena

Maximus: "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius,Commander, blahblahblahblahblahblah…And I will have my vengance, in this life or the next"

Commodus: "If this is a pick-up line, than you have yet A LOT to learn, my friend…"


The scene when Lucilla is supposed to walk in on Commodus and Lucius reading. She walks in and they are playing on a computer.

Commodus: "Sister, join us. I've been playing Quake with dear Lucius. "

Lucius: "And they keep on kicking our butts!!!"

Commodus "OK, let's cut the crap, Lucilla. I know you betrayed me, but I'll forget all about it if you tell us how to turn the God-mode on…"


Maximus and other Gladiators are going to bath after a training. They all undress and when they are naked, Hagen notices a tatoo on Maximus' bum. It's a pink-coloured heart with "I love Mommy" written neatly inside. Maximus notices Hagen's stare and says:

"What? I had a tough childhood, okay?!"

14. Scene in the Collosseum underground right before the final fight.

Commodus enters Maximus's cell, dressed in this fancy white garment. Maximus looks at him and bursts out laughing.

"Heheheheheheh,Geez, where did you get that outfit from????"

Commodus' face gets all red and he asks:

"Why, what's wrong with my outfit?"

Maximus"Gods, you obviously haven't seen yourself in a mirror , Ceasar-boy"

Commodus, seroiusly pissed off:

"Hey, at least I'm not wearing rugs, Gladdie!!!"

Now Maximus gets pissed off:

"You have a problem with MY outfit? It's the latest Armani, for Your information!!!"

Comodus:"Oh, Yeah?! And mine is Valentino! Why are you laughing again?"

Maximus:"Maybe because Valentino designs female clothes?HEHEHEGE"

Commodus aproaches him, a dangerous look in his eyes.

Maximus gets scared"Hey, hey I was just kidding, man, ease off there wll ya?"

But it's too late, Commodus has gone into something like a trance

"The General, who dressed at Armanni's. An emperor who dressed at Valentino's. Striking story. Now the people want to know who is more fancy. And what could be more glorious than to parade on the arena in their favourite outfits?"

Maximus: "You would compete with me?"

Commodus"Why not? Do you think my legs are too short for a model?"

Maximus"I think your legs are too crooked for a model"

Commodus:"Unlike Maximus-the Stick-leg, who wears pink stockings?"

Maximus, inhis thoughts:How the hell did he find that out? Aloud: "I knew a man who once said: All stockings suck. All a man can do is not wear yellow ones"

Commodus, in his thoughts Ohhhh heeeeel, so my father didn't want me for an emperor because I always wore yellow stockings,shiiiiiiiit all that crap because of a pair of stockings, FUUUUCK! Aloud: "I wonder what coulour of stockings did your friend wear?"

Maximus;"You must know. He was your father"

Commodus in his thoughtsShitty brown!I saw them once, they fell off when I was strangling him!!!

Aloud: "OK, my designer sucks, I know. But so does yours! That makes us loosers, doesn't it?"

The scene plays on like in the movie.

That's it for now, but stay tuned, more to come!!!!