I don't know if Mac is the woman Harm is with, or the woman whose POV this is.

I'm sick.

Every time I see him, every time I see her. Sick.

She's sick, too. Only in a different way. She's sick with his child growing in her belly. I'm just sick. He's sick, too, in my opinion. Sick for leading me on when he was always in love with her. I thought he loved me, but he didn't. He's just sick.

She passes by my office on her way to see him. When they came clean about their relationship, she was transferred to the Pentagon. Now instead of seeing her every day, I only see her every other day, when they had taken her car to work, so that she had dropped him off. They go out for lunch together every day, and go home together every night. I wish it was me.

I hate her. She's so different from me, but so much the same. She looks like me. Brown hair, brown eyes. We're both tall, but both made petite beside him.

They walk past my office together, his arm around her, his hand resting on her belly. Sick.

That could be me. She looks like me; her uniform is the same as mine. But she isn't me. I'm not her.

I won't get any work done until they come back. Will it be like yesterday? Will they be back in half an hour because she was called away? Or will it be like the day before? Will they be gone for two hours and sheepishly admit that they went home to make love?

I despise that term. The only time I use it is when I remember that one night that I had with him. We made love that night. But he doesn't make love with her. He can't.

An hour has passed before he enters the office, alone. Thank God for small favors. He has that look on his face. I recognize it well. He had the same look after I gave him a blow-job. Slightly flushed, glassy eyes. His walk is slightly unsteady. Oh, how I wish that I was the one who had gotten him off.

She's coming back, again. I am about to slip out of the office to head for home when I hear him say, "Everybody, can I have your attention?"

The bullpen quiets and they stand to the side, everybody watching them. He grins. "Just five minutes ago, this beautiful woman agreed to be my wife."

The bullpen erupts in cheers and I run to the ladies' room.


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