Pam woke up. Already her day sucked. She had that familiar, empty, lonely feeling in the pit of her stomach. She felt like there was a pebble in her stomach, weighing her down. She stared miserably at the white ceiling before getting out of bed, preparing to see Karen arrive to work in the same car as Jim.
Neatly, Pam spread out her lunch. An orange juice, small green salad, apple slices and of course, her wild berry yoghurt. She set it all out on a white napkin. She felt organized. After calling of the wedding, her entire life was organized. She had a routine.
6.00am: Wake up.
7.10am: Get dressed, apply makeup, brush hair.
7.20am: Prepare breakfast.
7.30am: Eat breakfast. (Alone)
7.45am: Pack lunch.
8.00am: Leave for work.
8.15am: Arrive at work.
5.00pm: Leave work.
6.00pm: Prepare dinner.
6.30pm: Eat dinner. (Alone)
7.00pm: Watch 2 TV shows.
8.30pm: Plan and iron outfit for tomorrow.
9.00pm: Go to bed. Read 2 chapters of one book.
9.30pm: Turn off lights.
It was like clockwork. Everything was controlled and organized. So why, Pam had to wonder, did she feel like her entire life was a complete mess? She was staring blankly into her orange juice when she heard laughter. She looked up with a start, only to see Karen laughing, clinging onto Jim's arm. Jim had stopped at the doorway, smiling awkwardly at Pam, brown lunch bag in hand.
"Hey Beesly. Mind if we eat here?" Jim asked casually, already putting down his lunch. Pam already knew what was in there. A ham and cheese sandwich. He take it out and like always, stand up right again and buy a bag of Fritos and a grape soda from the vending machine. Karen had stopped laughing and was giving Pam a hesitant looking, clearly waiting to see her reaction. Pam cleared her throat and shook out of it, leaping up.
"Uh…yeah. Yeah, yep. I was, uh," She began to hurriedly stuff her lunch back into her own brown lunch bag. "Uh, just leaving actually." Jim sadly watched her toss her yoghurt into the bag.
"You haven't even eaten." He pointed out, smiling slightly.
"I was, uh, actually feeling a bit sick. I should probably just back to work." She rushed out before Jim could even reply. He looked at Karen, bewildered. She shrugged and sat down, barely acknowledging what had just happened. Jim frowned and glanced after Pam before joining Karen. Then he stood right back up.
"What are you doing?" Karen asked.
"Just getting some Fritos and a grape soda."
The entire office was empty and dark aside from Pam and the glow of her computer screen. She shut off the computer and let the darkness swallow her up, listening to the comforting hum as the computer shut down.
"Pam." At the sound of her name, Pam snapped her head up. Jim stood in the doorway.
"Hey." She said, surprised. She tried to force more words out of her mouth, but her spoke first.
"Hi. What are you doing here?" She considered the question.
Oh, just wallowing in the darkness.
I could ask you the same question.
Thinking about you and Karen and your happy life.
Thinking about you and your lunch.
This is better then staring at my own ceiling.
Thinking about you.
"I just had to finish some work." She lied. Jim nodded, clearly not believing her but letting it go. Typical Jim. And, even more typical Jim, he leant against her desk in the darkness and popped a couple of jellybeans in his mouth.
"How about you?" Pam returned the question.
"I forgot some papers."
"…Yeah." And then, Pam felt like saying something. Anything. Anything at all to just fill up this awful, painful silence. Because this was Jim.
"Jim…what happened? Between us? I mean, you told me you loved me and then you just…you just left. You left me. I called off my wedding for you and now you don't even talk to me properly." Her voice was getting louder and Jim was simply staring at her listening sadly. She was starting to go off track now. She had no idea what was happening, what she was saying. She stood up and didn't even try to stop the tears that spilled down her cheeks at the flutter of her eyelashes.
"And I just, I miss you! And I miss your laugh and your smile and I miss you! I just miss you! I miss you Jim!" Jim sighed sadly and straightened up, his mouth open slightly. Pam sat down again and rested her head on the desk. Her cheeks were damp with tears and her head was pounding. But nothing…nothing….hurt as badly as her heart.
So….reviews? Please? I thought maybe I would do a second chapter, same events but in Jim's point of view? What do you think?