So, this is my first attempt at Slash. This was purchased by TwistedforTwilight and I was so excited and honored to write for her! She has been amazing to get to know here! I hope you like it! Thanks to KittyCullen for betaing this for me! She is my rockstar!

Why, why did there have to be days like today? The morning would be perfection, and I would almost forget our circumstances. Today was one of those days. We spent the morning talking and going over his schedule for the next month over coffee, then I see who he has a lunch date with. Irina. She's my least favorite. Not only do they not go to lunch, but she's one loud fuck. He spends lunch with her at least three times a month, and I usually leave for the day when she is coming in because it can last that long.

Today, I can't. There is a staff meeting at 130, and she is scheduled at 12; she won't be happy. I may even have to reschedule the damn meeting for that bitch. OK, I know I sound like a disgruntled employee, but fuck, that woman makes me crazy. Screaming his name like he's a damn Sex God is not really helping me out.

I have worked for Jasper Whitlock for 4 years. In this time I have irrevocably fallen in love with him. I smile when I think of him, I laugh at memories of us. And I hate his slew of women. He sees a minimum of two women a week. Thank fuck he doesn't fuck them all in the office. He usually has the decency to go somewhere else. He knows I can hear, but I think he likes it that way. He doesn't know of my unrequited love for him, and probably never will.

Today is the day. I have a lunch interview with one of Jasper's competitors. I am not about to give away trade secrets or anything, but I like this type of work. Days like today make me question whether or not I can really leave here or not. It has been so hard to watch him with a slew of women. They come and go in his life. None of them ever more serious then a few dates. Jasper is the epitome of a playboy.

I remind Jasper that he has an appointment with Irina, and he grins. Then I remind him of the staff meeting and he frowns.

"Damn, so will you be here for the meeting? I know you usually leave here for the day when she comes?"

"I will be back after lunch."

"Irina is going to be pissed it's going to have to be a quickie. But, work must go on." With his statement I am actually proud of him. Hopefully she doesn't convince him to change it. At least I already have an e-mail composed for if it happens, and I can just hit send. I don't usually schedule anything when she is here, but this has been on the book for a month; he told me to put her in today, knowing this would happen.

"Well, have a good afternoon with Irina, I will call you when I am on my way back to the office so that we can walk together to the meeting."

"OK, have a good lunch. I'll see you soon." He gave a small sigh when he smiled at me. I wonder what that was about. I turned and began walking out his office door. "Oh, and good luck today." I whirled around on my heel, completely caught off guard by his statement; did he know?

"Oh… umm. Mr. Whitlock…" He cut me off before I could finish.

"You didn't really think I wouldn't know you were interviewing with another company did you, especially one of my competitors? I can tell you they are very excited to meet with you. I know you are interviewing for a sales position there, and I think that's fantastic. Really fantastic." He didn't sound like he thought it was fantastic, he sounded pissed, and I hung my head.

"Mr. Whitlock, Thank you. I probably won't get the position, but thank you anyway."

"On the contrary, the position is already yours. In fact I know they plan to offer it to you today at your lunch. Will you be accepting?" I was slightly shaken up, because this was not the way I wanted to talk to him.

"Yes, if they offer it, I will accept. Mr…"

"Will you stop fucking calling me that? You know I hate when you do it. My name is Jasper for fuck's sake. How many times do I have to tell you this? You only ever call me that when either we are in public with costumers or when something bad is happening. And I hate it. I hate when you are so formal with me, I just fucking hate it!" Watching him tug on his hair was distracting me from being scolded like a child about using his first name. I have been calling him Mr. Whitlock more lately to put some distance between us. I didn't hear him when he asked why.

"For fucks sake, why do you want to leave me, this company, everything we have done and worked for together?" I want to be honest. I want to say that, because I can't stand the idea of you dating, I can't stand the idea of you fucking everything with two legs except for me. I want to tell him I love him, but I can't. I pause for several moments.

"I want more. I need more from life than being an assistant. This is my chance to spread my wings and get more involved with business, make a name for myself." He doesn't need to know that it's because I want more from him.

"Why didn't you tell me, I would make you VP of Sales right now. That's how amazing I know you are. You know that, we have talked about it. What have I done to drive you away?" He sounds frantic, almost like he'll miss me. It tears a little more of my heart away. It breaks another piece of my heart off. But, I stand my ground. I have to. Or I will lose it. I will fall to his feet, and I can't tell him.

"I was going to tell you, I wasn't even sure I would get this position, it's the only one I applied for Jasper." He shook his head in dismay, he looked near tears.

"You better get going, you don't want to be late. Good Luck, be your usually charming self, and you will be fine." He waved me on,; I had been dismissed. I was always dismissed. I sighed deeply as I walked from his office, there was no going back now. I want this job, I need this job, I have to get away from him before there is nothing left of my heart. It is time for me to move on.

"Thanks Jasper." I walked out the door. As I descended the stairs, I felt several tears fall down my cheeks. I knew the stairs would be my best option. I got it together before I hit the bottom floor, shook my head and walked out of the office.

The weeks following my interview flew by. I had already brought in and trained my replacement. I taught her everything I knew, the ins and outs of Jasper's life. Except Irina. I laughed to myself, feeling slightly bad that she would have to endure it, but it was too funny to pass up. I did tell her to call me if anything ever came up, that I would be willing to help. I know, not the smartest thing I have ever done, but I figure the only thing she'll ever call about is the Irina thing.

My new job was fantastic, I loved every minute of it. But as soon as I walked into my house, it was different. I was different. I had no zest, no veal for life anymore. I looked forward to my new job; now it's just a god damn job, and I fucking hate it.

Not having Jasper in my life has proved so intensely difficult. I miss him. I miss his smile, I miss his laugh, his jokes, but mostly, I miss his friendship. In the weeks leading up to my departure, he grew more and more distant from me. It broke my heart. I wanted to tell him I loved him, I wanted him to reciprocate, but he never would. As I laid down for the night, I let myself imagine him; I hardly allowed this, but tonight, I missed him so fucking much.

I began imagining his laugh, his smile, his southern drawl; quickly my cock was becoming hard from the images. It's been far too long since I relieved myself. I tugged my stiff cock from my pants, stroking roughly as I thought of his hands on me, pleasuring me. He whispered my name so seductively, begging me to come for him. I was so close. "Yes, fuck yes Jasper, anything you want." I felt my orgasm rushing through my body. The intense feelings beginning to overwhelm me. My phone began ringing from my nightstand, vibrating loudly against the wood. I tried to ignore it, but it was a lost cause now. The call disconnected, but immediately rang again. Groaning, I reached and hit call, not bothering to look.

"Hello." I said curtly, I was pissed that I had been interrupted.

"Edward…" It's Jasper. I remained silent for a beat. "Edward… Are you there? It's Jasper."

"Umm, hi Jasper, What's up?" trying to remain cool and collected hearing his voice after just imagining him moments ago, hearing his voice was causing my dick to become fully hard again.

"I hate to bother you, but, I… uh… need you. I'm in a tight spot, and I could only think to call you."

"Yes Jasper, anything." Anything for you, I will always be there for you. I want to say it, but hold my tongue.

"I'm at a bar and I'm quite intoxicated, please come to me Edward, please."

"Where are you?" I got out of my bed, trading my pajama bottoms for jeans, and throwing on a t-shirt.

"Umm… I'm at Novak's." WHAT? What is he doing there?

"Jasper, what in the fuck are you doing at Novak's?" I was pushing my feet into my tennis shoes and hopping out the door in my rush to get him.

"Umm, can I explain when you get here?" He sounded so damn sad.

"Yeah, be there in ten. Just hold on Jasper. I'm coming to you." I started up my car, thankful that I hadn't drank tonight. But I was to depressed to even do that. Why would he call me, it's been two months? Questions and thoughts plagued me until I pulled up to the bar. I was fucking shocked to see Jasper and Bella standing together, laughing and falling over one another.

Oh Christ, now he is fucking his secretary. Well, at least that explains why they are at a gay bar. Trying not to be seen. Groaning, I pull up beside them and start to get out of the car to help.

"Edward! Thank God!" Jasper wailed. He walked to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Edward, I have fucking missed you! You remember Bella, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I remember, your new assistant." I couldn't believe he was being so dense as to fuck around with an employee; I would have never let that shit happen if I still worked for him. He has too much to lose.

I had been to this bar on many, many occasions, and I knew most of the people milling about; then I spotted Alice. One of my best friends, and the most lesbian chick I know. I waved, then realized she was walking over. She caught my eye, smiling brightly.

"Edward! Oh my god! What are you doing here? How do you know Bella and Jasper?" I gave her a stern look, communicating what she already knew.

"Jasper called me for a ride." She nodded her head with a worried expression, then turned her attention to Bella, kissing her passionately. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. Realization sank in; Bella's gay. Damn, I didn't even get that.

"Edward, you know her?" Jasper asked drunkenly, trying to be much quieter then he actually was. I turned to face him. I had never out-right told him I was gay, but I wasn't secretive about it either.

"Yeah, actually, Alice is one of my best friends. We hang out here often." I was trying to muster up some anger at not knowing about Bella and her, but, really, I had been ignoring everything and everyone that wasn't related to my job.

Jasper looked down at the ground before speaking to me, "Not lately. I have been coming with Bella."

I laughed out right, I couldn't help myself. "Come on Jasper, time to go home." He shook his head.

"I wasn't kidding Edward, I knew this was the bar you usually hang out in, and when I found out Bella was meeting a date here a couple of weeks ago, I tagged along as her body guard and haven't stopped coming since. I needed to see you. And I guess tonight, I finally got drunk enough to call you." I raised my hand to stop him.

"Jasper, get in the car." I open the door, and I am seething. I know Alice hardly ever drinks, and she doesn't appear to be drunk, but I ask anyway. "Alice, Bella, do you need a ride?" They both shook their heads, smiling sadly at me. Alice must have told her and they knew this will be my undoing.

I try really hard to ignore the fact that the man I have been pining over for years is in my car. I try to ignore the stray lock of hair falling into his face. I try to resist the urge to move it. I almost fail. I am winding through the streets, driving much faster then necessary. I need to get him out of my car. I can smell his cologne, I can hear his breath, I can see his firm body. This is to much, why did I do this to myself? I was less then a block from his house when he spoke.

"Why Edward, please, tell me why you left me?" I was stunned. I pulled into a space in front of his building.

"Jasper, this is neither the time nor the place for this conversation. You are drunk, and I am tired. Can you get up to your apartment, or do you need help?" He squared his shoulders and began to try and exit the car; I knew I was going to have to help him. I got out and jogged around to help him. I placed one arm around his middle, pulling him close to me. "Where are your keys?" He fished them from his pocket, handing them to me. I let us in the building, then got into the elevator to head to his apartment.

"Edward, tell me, please. Please Edward. Tell me." He was begging. I couldn't tell him. I had to keep some of my fucking dignity and pride with this man. The doors opened, and I walked him to his door, opening this one, and letting him in. He turned to face me, grabbed my neck, and pulled me in for a scorching kiss.

At first I was shocked and didn't move; and then I began to reciprocate, melding my tongue with his. Even with the alcohol I could taste what I knew to be unadulterated Jasper. Sweet and tangy, like the south he hails from. I pull him flush to my body, letting him feel how aroused I was; using my free hand, I push it into his hair, tugging. He returns the favor. We are fighting for dominance.

My phone rings, and I try to ignore it, but Jasper doesn't. He pulls away. Looking into my eyes, I see everything and nothing. "Tell me Edward."

"I love you Jasper." It comes out before I even realize it. And, I see a flash of something cross his beautiful features, distorting them. He will dismiss me again. And I hang my head and turn to leave before I can hear his dismissal. I hope for him to stop me, I pray for him to love me too, but he doesn't and he won't. I hear his door click closed, and I begin to sob. I can't control it. I push the button for the elevator, my sobs coming uncontrollably.

I drove home, barely containing my sobs. My phone rang the entire time, but I ignored it. I knew it was either Alice or Him. And I knew I wouldn't or shouldn't talk to them. I put my heart out there for the last time. I was done.


Life continues. Some days are harder, especially if I have any type of reminder of him. I want to let go, I really do. I just can't. I can still feel hips lips pressed to mine, his body flush against mine, and my hands in his hair. I want him; no, I need him. Today is a bad day.

I drive by his office, only to be broken more when I see him with Irina. I drive home and wallow in my misery and my bottle of Crown. I finally pass out after more then half of the bottle is consumed. When I awaken, my body is drenched in sweat and I realize the despair has taken it's toll on me. I have lost weight, muscle tone, and skin color. This is not good. Time for reinforcements.

I call Alice. I haven't spoken to her since that night more then three weeks ago. Not for her lack of tryingl she calls me every day religiously at 6:30pm. She answers on the second ring.

"Oh thank God! About time you asshat!" She continues ranting for a few moments, before she realizes I haven't said a single word since she answered her phone. "Edward, are you OK baby?"

"No, Alice, I'm not. But, I'm ready to be. I need to get out of this funk, can you help me?" She squeals lightly at my request, and tells me to be ready by 8:30.

I dress sharply for the evening. Putting on what used to be my perfect ass jeans, but now hang somewhat limply on me. A nice button black shirt, that again, seems to big. I need to fix that shit, and pronto.

Alice picks me up and we head for Novak's. I want the familiarity. And I know I can get laid. I need to get laid. A good fuck always made me feel better before. When we exit the car, the heat of August is gone with the cool September breeze flowing across my skin. I have wasted an entire summer in my misery, well, no more. We dance and drink. Many friendly faces approach us, asking after me, since they haven't really seen me all summer long. I see a very sexy guy checking me out, and make my way over.

"I'm Edward."

"James, I'm here on business, and thought I'd check this place out."

"It's a decent enough place. Here long?"

"Three days."

"Perfect." I stare him down for a moment, then grab his hand and cart us out of the bar, hailing a cab. He grabs me, kissing my mouth forcefully before we get into the cab.

"Millenium Hotel, please." He tells the driver, and I do not object. I always hate cab rides, they're usually filled with uncomfortable silence.

"So, you got a last name Edward?"

"Edward Cullen, you?"

"James Hale." I know that name, where have I heard that name before? I put it out of my mind.

"Come here often?" I ask with a smirk, knowing his answer will likely be no.

"I hope to be coming here very soon." Oh, so we've moved onto sexual innuendos.

"I agree." I place my hand on his thigh, working my way up to his very hefty erection. I am truly excited.

We pull into the hotel, I pay the driver, and step out of the cab. We walk into the lobby, straight to the elevators where he pushes a button, then grabs me, kissing me harshly. I like it rough, and it seems he does too. He presses me into the corner, still devouring my mouth. My cock is pressing forcefully into my jeans. I can't wait to have him buried inside me. The elevator doors open, but he doesn't remove his mouth, only walks me into the hall, then down to his room; he breaks from my mouth only to pull the keycard from his pocket and open the door, to what I realize now is a suite. He pushes me through the door with his mouth and body pressing into me. As we stumble our way to his bed, we make work of each other's clothes.

I feel his sculpted body under my fingers. I am getting more and more excited. I can't wait to feel him. I turn us and push him down to the bed. I remove his boxer-briefs and take a moment to admire him. His physique is excellent. I want to enjoy him, so I do. Repeatedly. With my mouth, my hands, every part of me. We take our time at first, but after round one, his aggressiveness finally comes out. Thank fuck.

I get cleaned up and redress. I am slipping my shoes on when he comes out of the bathroom.

"You're not staying?" He asks, almost with a hint of wistfulness.

"No, I wasn't planning on it. I'm not one for the AM walk of shame." I laugh lightly.

"It definitely wouldn't be a walk of shame. Besides, it's already past five in the morning. Just stay, please." He was so sincere. I smiled and removed my shoes. He was standing there gloriously naked, so I joined him. He helped. We talked lightly, not anything to in-depth before falling asleep, him spooned behind me.

I woke late in the afternoon. James was not in the bed; I looked up to see him sitting in a chair, drinking coffee and reading the paper.

"Good afternoon sunshine." He spoke softly.

"What time did you wake?" I asked groggily.

"Only about a half hour or so ago." He laid his paper to the side and moved towards me, still naked. I could feel myself get hard at the site of him and the glint to his eyes. We spent the entire day in bed wrapped around each other. We shared room service in his room, then after another round of sex, it was time for me to go.

"Can I have your number Edward? I hope to coming to this area more often, I'd like to see you again." I give him my number and leave. The prospect of having someone is nice. I hope we do actually talk, we seem compatible sexually, but I wonder if we otherwise would be. I think he was interested in more as well.

I enter my place, shower quickly, then head to bed; it has been a long and enjoyable weekend, but work calls tomorrow. I fall into a deep sleep, thinking of a hard body and amazing sex.

I wake early for work, taking my time to get ready, feeling energized and ready to get my life back together. It's time to pull my head from my ass and get back on track. I never slacked at work, just never put in any real extra effort. Now, I need to show them why they hired me. I land the first account I work on for the day, bringing in a multi-million dollar client. I am excited. I go to the gym on my way home, eat a healthy meal, and lay off the Crown.

The weeks fly by, and I get a package in the third week of October; it's my costume for Novak's Halloween party. No doubt from Alice. It's a Zorro Costume… I like it. I call her and thank her. I am excited for this party. I had spoken to and seen James once since the previous time, but nothing more. So, I was hoping to hook up again.


I was dressing for the costume party. I was the driver for Alice and Bella. They had stayed going strong, and I was glad Alice found someone. I was on my way to pick up the girls from Alice's when my phone beeped with a text.

Got a ride, meet us there, we be the bunnies. XO Alice

I turned and headed towards the bar. I found a parking spot easily enough; it was still early the party wouldn't be in full swing for at least another hour. I walked into the bar and instantly spotted the girls, even though I'm gay. My dick was a little hard. I'm not gonna lie, they are both hot as hell.

"Fuckin shit, I hope there are no straight guys here tonight, you two will cause them to explode in their pants. Shit the women still might though." I kissed both their pink cheeks and went to get us a round. We chatted happily, watching people come in. There was some very nice looking guys in the crowd, but the one that just walked in garnered everyone's attention. He was dressed as the lone ranger. Dark jeans, white t-shirt that hugged his body, cowboy hat, boots and even the scarf on his face to cover his identity.

Our eyes met, and he had the sexist green eyes I have seen since, well, Jasper. I smiled, and could see his return smile in his eyes. I got up from the table and approached him. I couldn't recognize him at all. My cape flowed fluidly behind me, and it was like the parting of the red sea as we marched towards one another. We met at the corner of the bar.

"Two shots of crown," I say to the bartender, he pours them, I hand one to my lone ranger and raise mine. We down them together. We don't speak. We just watch one another. I see his body sway slightly to the melodic tune playing. I grab his hand, pull him to the dance floor, and turn him in front of me. I am the dominant one here. We dance to the slow beat, then keep dancing as the song turns back to upbeat. We dance for five songs, my hard cock pressing into him the entire time. He grabs my hand and pulls us to the bar. I order us two more shots each, we slam them simultaneously. The bar is dark, the lights are pulsating, the heat is encompassing.

He pulls me to the corner of the room, lifts his handkerchief, and pulls my mouth to his. I can taste the crown, sweetness, and a slight tang. He tastes incredible. I moan into his mouth, press my body into his, and begin to rub against him as our mouths move in tandem. He moans into my mouth. His handkerchief is becoming a hindrance; I've got to remove it, but he stops me.

"Leave it." He says in a deep rich voice, causing my body to shudder, what I wouldn't give to hear it again. Especially calling out in the throes of passion. I want this man, unlike I have wanted anyone, ever. I press my mouth back to his, kissing him deeply, tasting everything I can. I want to dominate him, I want him to dominate me. I want this man, and I tell him so.

"I want you." He groans in response, kissing me again then stopping. He pushes me off the wall, and walks away. I don't think I am supposed to follow. And now my dick is hard and I am left with nothing. I walk to the bar, get another shot, slam it, get one more, pay my tab, and go to tell the girls goodbye. I find them dancing together. Fuck, I'm so horny right now, I'd fuck them. Not ever a good sign. I say my goodbyes, promising to take a cab.

I go to climb in the cab when I see the lone ranger, pacing up and down the sidewalk.

"Hey! Need a lift?" He turns his head to me, and shakes his head.

"Naw thanks, I'm real fuckin sorry back there. I just couldn't do it."

"No hard feelings, I know the feeling. For what it's worth, whoever has you acting like a caged animal is pretty fucking lucky."

"Thanks. To bad he doesn't know." I smile softly at him, knowing exactly how he feels. I climb into the cab, telling the driver my address, as he pulls away.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, I pull it out. Jasper? What the fuck? Shaking my head, I answer.

"Yeah?" I know I was clipped, but I don't fucking care, I'm not going to let him get to me this time.

"Edward? I'm sorry. But, please, please come get me. I need you." I sigh deeply. I can't do this.

"I'm sorry Jasper, find someone else." I hang up before he can say another word. My phone rings again, it's him. I ignore the call, but he calls again. I punch the seat next to me. But, I answer.

"What?" I practically yell into the phone.

"I love you. I love you Edward! I fucking love you! I know I'm an ass, and I tried to get over you, I tried to move on, but I couldn't. Tonight, I thought I could try and forget about you, and that plan went to shit and back, please Edward, please, give me a chance to show you, you are what I want." I stay silent for a moment. Mulling his words over. I want him, I want him so bad.

"Where are you?" I ask softly.

"Outside of Novak's." I tell the driver to turn around and go back. "Jasper, I'll be there in five minutes. Are you in a costume?"

"Yes, but you will know it's me." He hangs up. I can't believe this. I don't know what the fuck I am going to do. I don't know if I should hear him out or not. But, fuck, I need to. My heart is begging me to listen to him, to let him in. I think over what a life with Jasper would be like if we were together on the few minute ride back to the bar.

We pull up, but I don't see him. I pay the driver, and get out. I walk around to the side, and only see the lone ranger, but without the handkerchief smoking a cigarette. He looks up, and my mouth drops open in shock.


"Edward?" We say each other's name at the same time. He was who I was kissing. The man that tasted like sweetness and a little southern tang, I should have known by the taste and feel of his mouth, I feel the memory coming forth. Before I know what's happening, he is in my arms and we are kissing deeply. We kissed for a few moments. I love this man, how could I ever deny it? I pull back slightly, removing both our hats, and my mask.

"I love you Jasper Whitlock."

"I love you with all my heart Edward. I'm sor…" I placed my hand over his mouth.

"There will be time for talking another night. Come home with me Jasper." He nodded in response. We walked back to the line of cabs, getting in the one I had just previously exited, and went home.

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