Fawlty Towers

Things can only get Better?

This episode follows on from G.W. Ryan's Computers in Fawlty Towers What could go wrong?

Basil limped into the hotel, the small group of regular guests had gathered in reception intent on finding out what the latest mayhem was all about. With his usual warmth and charm Basil set about filling them in?

"What are you all doing?"

Major Gowen spoke before anything else could be said.

"We heard a commotion Fawlty, thought you might be in a spot of bother old chap".

Next Miss Tibbs and Miss Gatsby added their two pennies worth.

"We thought you might have hurt yourself Mr. Fawlty, you don't look at all well".

Basil took a deep breath before continuing…

"Well Major you could say I am in a spot of bother, considering my computer has been ruined by the Spanish Armada reject known affectionately as MANUEL".

Basil's voice clearly going up an octave as he spoke the infuriating little Spaniard's name.

"Miss Tibbs, Miss Gatsby, ladies thank you for your concern, I have indeed hurt myself I have a splinter in my right foot the size of a giant Sequoia tree, I may not look very well but I will live longer than you two dear ladies".

The ladies walked off muttering… "Poor Mr. Fawlty, such a nice man".

Major Gowen picked up a newspaper and said as he walked away..

"So long as you are alright old chap that computer thingy can be replaced, no harm done".

"No harm done, no harm done, why do I bother?" Basil thought to himself as he made his way into the office, to get the first-aid kit to treat the splinter in his foot.

Sybil followed him into the office and like the dutiful wife she set about treating Basil's injury.

"Aw, bloody hell Sybil be careful will you"

Basil's discomfort was only short lived as Sybil removed the splinter and put a plaster on the minor wound.

The rest of the day passed off without any of the normal Fawlty Towers catastrophe's.

Mid-morning the next day.

Basil was sat in the office listening to Mozart's piano Concerto 21 in C Major K67, when his peaceful interlude was interrupted.

"Basil would you turn that racket off and come into reception I have to go out now".

Basil turned off the music and walked through the door of the office into reception, he couldn't contain his annoyance.

"You're going out again where to this time, visiting the Dalai Lama?"

"No Basil I am going to the Dentist if you must know, I have quite a lot of work that needs doing so I will be a long time".

"Will the treatment be painful dearest?"

Basil said sarcastically.

"Probably Basil".

Sybil said as she walked towards the door to leave.

"Oh Good".

"What was that Basil?"

Sybil's hearing was very keen when it came to Basil's remarks, years of verbal sparring had seen to that.

"I said Oh God, beloved, I'd hate to see you in pain".

"Would you, would you really?"

"Yes dear, and by the way that racket I was listening to was Mozart's racket number 21 in C Major". Basil shouted after her.

Sybil had closed the door before Basil had finished the sentence.

Polly came down the stairs and approached the reception desk.

"Has Mrs. Fawlty told you about the phone call?"

Basil looked surprised as he asked.

"What phone call, she never said anything about any phone call".

"It must have slipped her memory Mr. Fawlty, someone from the BBC asked to speak to you when you were down at the computer repair shop, Mrs. Fawlty told them to call back at 11.30am".

"Bloody woman, why can't she ever tell me these things, who does she think I am the Amazing Bloody Kreskin, I am sure she thinks I am clairvoyant Polly".

Basil had just finished speaking as the phone rang it was exactly 11.30am. Basil nervously picked up the phone and said.

"Good morning Fawlty Towers how may I help you".

"Good morning Mr. Fawlty this is John Howard Davies, after we left your establishment yesterday, John Cleese and I had a long discussion on the way back to Broadcasting House, John persuaded me that we should go ahead with the TV series, and that you should be hired as a creative consultant for the show, it will be time consuming and you will have a lot more control over the show, of course there will be an additional large fee for this added role. It is up to you Mr. Fawlty if you are in agreement I can get the contracts drawn up and they will be with you in less than a week, well what do you say Mr. Fawlty?"

Basil was shaking with excitement as he screamed down the Phone.


Basil replaced the telephone receiver and turned to Polly smiling grabbed her hand and waist and began dancing around as he started singing completely out of tune.

"We're in the money".

Sybil walked through the door and as she saw Basil and Poly twirling around like whirling dervishes, calmly approached the two and said.

"Basil we need to talk now".

Basil let go of Polly and looking very serious he said.

"I know all about the phone call Sybil and we are in the money my love".

"No Basil it isn't about the phone call, it is much more serious and important than that".

"Sybil we are going to be rich what could possibly be more important than that?"

"Go in the office now please Basil and I will tell you".

A very uneasy feeling crept over Basil as he went into the office.

"Basil what would you say if I told you that very soon you were going to hear the patter of tiny feet?"

"Manuel's got another Rat, I'm going to bloody kill him".

"No Basil Manuel has nothing to do with this".

"If it's trouble Sybil Manuel has always got something to do with it, I don't know why I employ him".

"You employ him Basil because he's cheap and you can have someone to kick, if you kicked the cat you would have the RSPCA after you, and that Basil is why you employ him".

Basil looked on in astonishment as Sybil continued.

"Forget about Manuel Basil and try to listen to what I am Going to tell you",

"OK dear".

"Well you know how I went to the doctors three months ago and I told you it was my migraine that was the reason for me going?"

"I remember dear".

"Well Basil this is difficult because although that was true it wasn't the whole truth".

Folding his arms and beginning to get agitated Basil asked.

"What is the whole truth then?"

"Calm down Basil and I'll explain, about six months ago I had that really bad migraine so the doctor prescribed a new migraine pill for me and it did seem to be helping, then about three months ago I started feeling unwell so I visited the doctors like I told you".

"Yes, and…"

"And the doctor told me that Mr. Ortega the pharmacist had mistakenly given me the wrong tablets".

"Ortega gave you the wrong tablets, we'll sue him".

"No Basil we can't sue him".

"What the bloody hell do you mean we can't sue him?"

"When I've finished telling you, you will see why we don't want to sue him, besides he's a nice young man and he is Manuel's cousin".

"Manuel's cousin and he gives you the wrong pills Sybil, no your right we can't sue him, I'll kill him instead".

"No you won't Basil".

"I killed men in the Korean war you know Sybil".

"Yes, Basil but you were in the catering corps so that explains the men you killed. Getting back to the pills, instead of the migraine pills the drug company that supplied the pharmacy had wrongly labelled the pills and what I was given was a tablet normally given to increase fertility".

Basil looked at Sybil still not having put two and two together.

"So what harm has this cock-up done to you Sybil?"

"No harm at all Basil unless you call being pregnant harm".

Still in shock Basil said.


"Basil Fawlty you are still the most infuriating man I ever met, you are going to be a father".

Basil opened the door and shouted for Manuel. The little Spaniard came running.

"Yes Meester Fawltee I here".

"Manuel your cousin Ortega".

"Si Meester Fawltee".

"Would you give him something from me".


Basil leaned over the counter and cupped Manuel's head between his hands and kissed him on top of his head.

"Tell your cousin I love him".

"No Meester Fawltee he married… To a lady".

Basil dismissed the bemused Spaniard.

"Go away you dago dodo"

Basil rubbed his hands together, the prospect of becoming a father and a TV show in the offing, Things can surely only get better.