Disclaimer: Naruto and characters associated to this manga are creations of Masashi Kishimoto. This story and other ideas not associated with Naruto are mine, unless otherwise disclaimed. This fanfiction is written for entertainment purposes only. :)

So I was inspired by "ohwhatsherface—How to Put the Bun in the Oven" and "elle6778" and her attempt at the 50 shinobi challenge. I'm not copying them. It just made me think along the lines of humor once more.

My character claim is Naruto.

This is a Non-massacre fanfic. :)

You Can't Be Serious…

Challenge 1: "This is my way as a ninja."

Naruto ran.

He ran as quickly as he could.

The Polaroid camera was thrown into a random bush by the road.

People shouted in protest as the blond ninja pushed his way through the crowd hoping to buy time to his unfortunate demise.

Huffing and puffing, Naruto paled as he heard the sound of chirping birds…

Oh… snap.

The young ninja gulped as he willed chakra to his feet and leaped to a rooftop. His attempt to reach the Hokage Tower was a far stretch goal… but there was no way he could fail this mission. No way in hell-

The sound of birds returned.

Naruto felt tears falling down the side of his face as he double-timed his leaps and dashes.

Like a flash, pure dread and fear flowed through his system. His face paled and his eyes widened.


Passing by a window that reflected images, as would pure, molten silver, he saw his long time friend, Uchiha Sasuke, tightly gripping his wrist as a blinding source of light crackled in the palm of his hand.

And he was only about five meters away…

For such desperate times as these, Naruto forced his legs to move faster… faster…faster…

He leaped over another rooftop.

The sound of bricks breaking and screeching electricity made the younger shinobi sweat.

"You are going to DIE a SLOW and PAINFUL death, Uzumaki!" threatened the teammate as he sped up behind the blond, his Sharingan blazing and spinning rapidly.

"Crap crap crap crap crap!" uttered Naruto as he dodged a bolt of electricity to his left, ducked low enough to see some of his wild blonde mane burn off, swerved to the right on the ledge of the building, and leaped into the air narrowly avoiding being castrated by the ever growing Chidori mass.

A loud explosion sounded just behind him on the roof he leaped from.

Naruto felt his heart heavily pounding in his chest. Just a few leaps away from the Hokage's office…

His feet landed on top a narrow ledge then up to the open window…

… and straight into a pile of paperwork on the all-to-familiar Hokage desk. The documents fluttered in the air causing an outcry of surprise from the leader of the village.


Namikaze Minato paused as he looked down to his son sobbing at his feet under his nearly indestructible desk.

Oh boy…

"What is going on?" shouted the father as he rubbed his forehead. How on earth was he going to sort through this monstrosity of fluttering papers? He released a sigh.

With tears in his eyes, Naruto crawled from under the desk slipping two developed photos to the Hokage's inner coat pocket. "Swear to me you'll give those to Kakashi-sensei and Sai!"

There was a pause.


Minato leaned back in his chair curious why his son was in such frenzy. He winced at his son's wide, frightened eyes.

"I swear it, but what does this have to do with anything?"

Naruto wiped away his tears as he stood before his father.

"This is my way as a ninja. Dad, I always looked up to you and-"

He felt the scruff of his black and orange jacket pulled back. He shrieked as his body slid across the paper-covered desk spilling signed and unsigned paperwork onto the already-messy floors. The blond began thrashing as soon as his rear fell to ground bruising his tailbone. He yelped in pain while desperately trying to grab the indestructible Hokage desk.

"Say Good-bye Uzumaki," taunted Sasuke's dark voice, killer-intent radiating from every fiber of his being. His strong grip continued to drag his long-time teammate away from the safety of his father.

Forcing his body to become dead weight, Naruto began clawing at the waxed wooden floors, desperately trying to get away from the deadly Uchiha. "Tell mom I love her! And tell her I'm sorry for breaking grandma-ma's glass bowl!"

The door closed behind the two young adults.

There was silence in the room.

All the airborne paper flitted to the floor covering every inch of office.

He glanced to the right then to the left before rolling his eyes. "Well, this is going to be fun," muttered the Yondaime Hokage before reaching into his inner coat pocket. Grasping the photos, he brought them up to his vision.

He raised an eyebrow.


Two seconds later, said ANBU poofed into existence. His grey eyes showing the smile his mask hid. "You called?"

"For you upon request." He held the pictures up to the captain.

"Oh?" questioned the lazy ninja as he grasped the offered photographs.

Or in this case… the evidence.

"Before being dragged off by Uchiha Sasuke, literally, Naruto made me swear to give these to you."

Kakashi chuckled upon gazing at the pictures muttering something along the lines of "…he actually got the evidence…" The ANBU nodded his head before pocketing the pictures, "Thank you Hokage-sama. Your help in this attempt is truly appreciated."

Without another word, the blond turned away from the vanishing ninja.

His eyes wondered down to the paper on the ground. He really didn't want to pick it up right now. Instead, he decided to take a break; his mind wondered back to the pictures…

He frowned.

What was so important about the pictures of his son's friends, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura, asleep and spooning on a futon?

Authors Note: Please review! I do have 4 of 25 chapters already written and I'm working on the 5th chapter as I type this. I want to see comments, concerns, and maybe even someone suggesting to be my beta reader?:D? Any takers? I hate to do this, but I would like to see at least 5 reviews before I continue on. And I promise by at least chapter three that you may have died laughing. :)

So, please, give a comment or two about how this story is so far!