Everybody Loves Raymond/The Nanny
Everybody Loves The Nanny
It was a cold day in Lynbrook, and Ray was sitting on the couch watching his favorite T.V show, Everybody Loves Golf. Debra was cleaning the kitchen, and looked very frustrated. Ray didn't notice, that Debra was home.
"Ha ha! I love this show." Said Ray. On the T.V, one could hear, "Ray, come help me clean! No!" and the laugh track laughed. "Ha ha! Oh"
"Ray, come help me clean!" Whined Debra. Ray pointed the remote at her and pressed the "Mute" button over and over. "Give me that! I take care of the kids all day while you sit in the basement writing about baseball and how awful your wife is, and you can't help out a little?"
"I didn't know you read my collum." Said Ray surprised.
"Look Ray, this house is a mess. It needs to be clean."
"Mom!" Yelled Ray.
"Ray!" Said Debra.
"Hi dear." Said Marie.
"Uh it's too late." Complained Debra.
"My, goodness this house is a mess!" Said Marie.
"That's what I was just thinking. Then you came over." Said Ray.
"Don't you worry dear. I'll clean up while you watch T.V."
"No, Marie, do not clean this house. Your mother is not our maid, you need to help out."
"Aaaah! Do I have to? Can't we get a, what, a nanny?"
"A nanny? Ray how're we gonna afford a nanny?"
"Ha, I've got some money saved up, but it's not enough. Hmm?"
The next day, Frank walked into the house, but not before putting fifty cents into the slot on the door. "Uh, can't afford to visit my son, hi Ray!" Said Frank as he unfastened his belt and his pants and sat on the couch, and his attention went right to the game on T.V.
"Ya hi dad." Said Ray as he counted his big wad of money.
"Ray, how did you get all that so fast?" Asked Debra.
Mom bought a season pass." Answered Ray smiling.
"Don't close, ah!" Said Robert as the door closed, forcing him to put in fifty cents. "Can't afford to watch T.V, hi Ray!"
"Shut up the game's on!" Yelled Frank.
"So Ray, how's your little fund raiser going?" Asked Debra?
"Great, I got $459. We're getting a nanny!"
"Ya." Said Frank not listening.
"Come on, what nanny will work for you?" Asked Debra.
In Queens, Mr. Sheffield was sipping on his cup of coffee, reading up on his stocks in his copy of the Daily Prophet when Fran walked in. "Blu!" Said Maxwell.
"Oh Mr. Sheffield, I got another job offer for almost double the money you're paying me, and I decided to take it." Said Fran.
"Another job? Ms. Fine, we need you here. Why without you all we have is, is Niles!"
"Here's breakfast." Said Niles throwing Maxwells plate on the table, tossing his hot food all over him.
"Ah!" Yelled Maxwell. "Oh Ms. Fine please don't go!"
It was then that C.C walked in. "Maxwell, I heard the news that Fran got another job. I came to celebrate. Ha!" Said C.C as she set off a fire cracker.
"Ms. Fine, what if you worked half time for me, and half time with this, other fellow?"
"I guess so. It's a deal!"
Great!" Said Maxwell. "Bwa ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha!"
"Okay." Said Fran confused.
Four days later, Ray was watching T.V with Frank and Robert while Fran was dusting the counter in the side of the living room. "Ha Ray, I like the new Nanny, much better than the old one." Said Frank.
"Thanks for that Frank." Said Debra sarcastically.
"Ha, you should give her a raise." Said Robert.
"Why thank you Officer Barone!" Said Fran.
"Raymond, may I make you some cookies?" Asked Marie.
"No thanks mom, Fran already made me some."
"It's true." Said Fran.
"Oh, okay." Said Marie.
"Ray, there's someone at the door claiming to know Fran." Said Debra.
"Let's cut to the chase. They don't want to pay the fine?" Said Ray.
"That's right." Said Debra.
"Send em' in." Said Ray.
Debra opened the door and in walked Maxwell, Niles, and C.C. "Hello Ms. Fine." Said Maxwell.
"Oh hello Mr. Sheffield." Said Fran. "What are you doing here?"
"We came to see what kind of people hired you, now we see, exactly, what kind of people they are." Said C.C.
"Ha, is that the big game?" Asked Niles.
"It sure is!" Said Ray.
"Oh great!" Said Maxwell unfastening his belt and his pants and sitting on the couch.
"Ha there, officer." Said C.C in a deep voice.
"Hi." Said Robert in an unsuspecting way.
"Ray, I, who are all these people?" Asked Debra.
"These are the guys, don't know their names, eh."
"More chips?" Asked Fran.
"Wes, please!" Said Robert as he took a handful of chips."
"I love it here." Said Frank.
"Me to." Said Ray.
"I hate her." Said Marie.
"Me to." Said Debra. "Something has to be done."
A week later, the entire group was sitting in the living room watching the big game when Amy walked in. "Robert, you have been here everyday for eight days. When was the last time you went on a run?"
"I don't know, eight days ago. Yo Fran! More chips." Said Robert.
"Yessir Mr. Barone." Said Fran.
"That's Fran, our nanny." Answered Ray.
"Ya, and I'm Maxwell, just one of the guys."
"Ha Robert, who's she?" Asked C.C.
"No one honey, just my wife."
"Oh!" Said C.C looking hard at Amy.
"Oh! He just intercepted that pass! Hoo hoo!" Yelled Niles.
"Go, go, go!" Yelled the guys.
"That does it. Debra, we have to get rid of Fran."
Marie then walked in. "I'm in to."
"But how do we do it. They don't listen to us anyways." Said Debra.
"Then let's bring in someone they won't be able to not listen to!" Said Amy.
About an hour later, Amy's father Hank walked in and turned off the T.V. "Ha!" Yelled everyone.
"What's wrong with you!" Yelled Frank.
"Listen guys, I have come here, to talk about how..."
"Who wants cold cuts?" Asked Fran.
"I love cold cuts!" Yelled Hank as he sat on the couch and turned on the big game. "Hoo hoo!" Yelled all the guys and C.C. So Fran was the nanny to the Barones, and the Sheffields, who had all moved into the house, even Niles. And Robert married C.C and divorced Amy, who moved back in with her dad who now was moved into the house. Frank moved in to, and Marie stayed next door, but was always coming over at fifty cents a visit. The Barones were rich. Debra decided to move in with her parents, but they soon moved into the house as well. Debra was always so stressed, and she took so many headache pills that her heart went out. Fran remained the nanny for years, even to Rays grand children, and their grand children, and even Robert and C.C's grand children. How is it that she lived so long? That's our nanny!