Mahou Sensei Negima and all related elements and characters are the property and creation of Akamatsu Ken, and the author of this set of short pieces has made no material profit from it, and never will do.

Similarly, all non-Negima characters mentioned here are the properties of their respective copyright holders.

Any non-parodic, non-totally safe similarity between the characters and events of these ministories and anyone or anything ever actually seen in real life is a pure coincidence. For real!

Read. Review. Please. PLEASE!


Negi, Chisame and Ruiko Saten.

She only wanted to be special. To have cool powers to live adventures with like Mikoto, Kuroko or even Uiharu-chan.

He gave her the chance to have such powers. It was logical she'd want to repay his kindness on doing so. Things just happened to grow from there.

And Chisame-chan had been an unexpected but never unwelcome side benefit.


Yandere.

"You realize I warned you, don't you!" Chisame roared, bleeding knife in hand. "I warned you, one of these days, you'd get yourself stabbed by a girl, the way you kept playing with our hearts! And now look at what you made me do!"

The now immortal Negi sat back up. "Uh, Chisame, I still don't see the appeal of this as 'foreplay', as you call it. I mean, what is the point of-"

"Shut up and let's do it now, while the wounds are still bleeding!" she growled, jumping on his quickly healing body to kiss his mouth.


Fulfill your Dream.

And then his father had shown up, valiant and strong between the snow, heroically rescuing him and his sister before disappearing.

And then he, to honor and find his father, started studying hard, growing strong in the ways of magic.

He was assigned to Japan, where he met several remarkable young women, all of them as nice as his sister in their own ways.

He made partners. Allies. All of them powerful and loyal. He even made allies out of enemies.

He studied under the strongest, and became one of them. He fought along his father's comrades.

Finally, he rescued his father, although by now things were getting blurry and confusing, and it was as if there were huge chunks of the story missing. But he was happy. He was with his father, and everyone, and he had saved the world, and he, too, was a hero.

A hero.

He smiled weakly, lying in the snow, as his breath became slower and softer. His eyes were glazed as they were fixed on his dead sister, without really looking at her. All he could see was the hero, standing there, tall and proud...

Then the demon before him descended, and the dream ended.


Things for Children.

Anya picked up the DVD she had found in Nekane's bedroom. "Ah? You watch Ben 10? Why? I never thought you the type..."

Nekane began to say "I only watch it for the-" stopped herself before she could say anything about the cousin subtext, and smiled, "- nice animation quality and bright colors!"


Rule.

"- and when I am the supreme ruler of Earth, I'll force all Internet reviewers to keep reviewing all the worst shows they despise the most!" Haruna promised, clenching a fist. "Because there's nothing worse than seeing them drop after a first episode, denying me the gorgeous sight of their bubbling bile!"

"Why not to outlaw bad shows in the first place?" Yue played along.

"What? That would be petty!"


Summer Job.

"Daddy," Yuuna said, very seriously for a change. "Since I didn't want to go into another potentially lethal class trip with Negi and the girls this time, I got myself a part time job for the summer."

He set his newspaper down and smiled at her. "That's great, Yuuna-chan. What is it?"

"Well... it's a job that demands a lot of responsibility. I can't allow myself mistakes on it, but that's okay, I think I can pull it off. I'll have to wear black at all times, but that's okay too, I don't particularly care. The guy who gave me the job, well, he's on a vacation for the next four weeks, and I'm sure he's earned it, because he's sure been working for a long time know. I thought he'd be a lot harsher, with the reputation he has, but he's actually kinda nice. For someone in that line of job, I guess."

Now her father was worried. "What is it, Yuuna?" he repeated.

She sighed and placed a huge black scythe on the table. "At first I thought I could use the chance to see Mom again, but then I was told I'm just collecting, not managing the storage, so..."

Akashi-sensei was sporting a truly horrified expression now.

"Well," Yuuna sighed, "I gotta go now. I've got to see Konoemon-sensei..."

"Ah?-!"

"To give a report on my Ala Alba duties, Dad! Negi still has to answer to the magical authorities, you know!"

"Oh!"

"And then I'm going to collect Nitta, " she shrugged.

"Oh. Well, have a nice day, Sweetie."

"Thank you, Dad. See you tonight."

"Ahh?-!"

"Just to have dinner together, Dad!"


Multiple Choice Past.

She walked all along the blood stained floors of the warehouse, a sword in each hand, a smile on her face, a glint in her glasses.

She loved her job.

She casually picked one of the still living men, a big, burly one with prematurely white hair, who was missing a leg and an arm, and losing blood very quickly. "You," she told him, "remind me of my father. Maybe you know him. You should, since he's very popular in this line of work. He's David Cain, the superstar killer for hire. Sadly, he left me and my Onee-sama when we were very little, and never looked back. I don't understand why. After all, he raised another one of his daughters! What did she have that we didn't? Since you're both so alike, maybe you can answer?"

"Please... Please help me... I, I need a doctor..."

She made a disgusted grunt and beheaded him swiftly. "Doctor Tsukuyomi-chan's in!" she sang before strolling towards another wounded man, supporting himself against a wall. He was tall, think and sickeningly pale, although mostly because of how much blood he was losing. "You, on the other hand," she told him, "remind me of my father. Now him, you have heard of him, no doubt. He's the Joker himself, yes! The Clown Prince of Crime! Gotham's Harlequin of Hate! The man supervillains trade stories about when they want to scare each other! Just like him, however, you are more funny-looking that truly funny, though. Why so serious?"

"G-Get a-away from me! You bitch...!"

"Here comes the punchlineeeeee!" Tsukuyomi swung her sword up, splitting him in two. She bounced all the way over to a man crawling for the door while pushing his guts back in. She placed a dainty foot on his back. "Can you believe those losers, Onii-chan? They're so pathetic. Not at all like you! No, you remind me of my father. You would know him except because well, he isn't known in this world at all. But he's big in the Magical World up at Mars! No, really! I'm not crazy, you know. Who the hell do you think I am, The Joker? Or the Joker's Daughter? My dad is named Kurt Godel, and he's the best swordsman you'll ever know! Of course, he also has some very bad and decadent habits, and he won't love me so much anymore, but..." She sniffed and wiped a tear off her eye. "Sorry. I must be bothering you in your final moments. Please excuse me."

"Gah...! Gahhh! GAAAHHH!"

She sank a sword in his back.

Finally, she walked to another, already dead man, and kicked the body with a grumble. "Gone. Already gone. Typical. Just like my father. I never knew him, just like I'll never know you now. What does that keep happening to me? Ever since I was left at the dojo's doorstep, a parentless little piece of nothing tossed at the mercy of a harsh world..."

She sighed and began walking out, fixing the lovely hat on her head. "It doesn't matter. I have all the fathers and mommies I could wish for. I'm the daughter of all evils, of all that is rotten and wicked, and that's why a wicked and rotten world smiles at me. As long as there is anyone willing to bleed for me, or even unwilling to, I'll know this world that gave me life keeps on loving me."

She smiled, sheathed her swords back, and walked out. "A-men."


Fuuka This, I'm Outta Here.

"- so, since you died after a sinful life of sexual deviancy with your twin sister, you are to become a Prinny, a small penguin-like creature who will suffer through indignity, ignominy and mistreatment until your sins have been cleared and you can reincarnate," the demon attending her case helpfully exposed. "Any questions?"

"Will I reincarnate with Fumika-chan?" Fuuka asked.

"... That's not my area, sorry. Go ask Sister Prinny after you are assigned to your battalion. In the meanwhile, since we don't have any Prinny skins for now, you'll have to wear this at all times. Sorry for the inconvenience," the demon said, as she put a cute penguin cap on Fuuka's head, and a cute penguin jacket around her torso. "There, aren't they just rad?"

Fuuka examined her jacket. "Kinda cool, yeah. Don't you have them in pink, though?"

"Ah ha ha ha... No. Also, you will have to finish all your sentences with a hearty '-dood!' It's like your sister's 'desu!', but... marginally less weeaboo."

"Yeah, well, but where's Fumika-chan right now?"

"She went to Heaven."

"WHAT?-! But, but she commited twincest as much as I did!"

"Yes, but all those times she told you of how much she enjoyed it? All of them were faked. She already paid enough for her sins, being forced to lead a sexually frustrating existence for your sake."

Fuuka's face went crimson, and she shook a fist to the Heavens. "FUMIKA! DAMN YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY!"

"Ahem!" the demoness rasped.

"Sorry. DAMN YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY, DOOD!"

"Better."


Misunderstanding.

"Fuuka... I've got something to tell you..."

"Me... Me too, Fumika..."

"You know, all these decades? Since waaaaaaaaay back when we studied under Negi, and began doing it with each other? I... I never was into it, actually. I only went with it because it made you happy..."

Fuuka stared at her, with her opaque tired eyes. "I... I thought it made YOU happy! It was the only reason I kept it going..."

They looked at each other's eyes for a long while.

"Stupid bitch."

"That's my line."


Anya Cocolova vs. the World.

The ghost girl aimed a finger at the 17-year old Anya, as an icy wind blew through the streets of London at midnight. You are advised not to think too much about how she could leave Mahora without being stuck in a doll.

"Y-You! Anya-san! As the first member of Negi-sensei's League of Evil Exes, I must warn you, you won't be allowed to date him until you have defeated all thirty two of us!"

Anya blinked. "Thirty two?-!"

"Y-Yes!" Sayo gulped while Negi shifted a foot around guiltily. "All of us dated him a-at Mahora, y-you know!"

"But... but..." Anya began counting with her fingers. "Wait, if I remember it correctly, there were thirty one of you in that class, so how... Oh, I get it. That Shiori girl, right?"

"Um, actually, she refused membership, saying she was okay with Fate-san, " Sayo answered.

"Ah? But then, who..."

"Kotaro-kun," Negi said with a very quiet and tiny voice.

"Bweh?-!" Anya cried.

"I was experimenting at the time!" Negi whined.


Left Hanging.

"So, since the series is over now," Yuuna asked, "and since we'll never get a chance to find out otherwise, why won't you say us who was your female ancestor, anyway?"

Chao smiled, pulled down a zipper on her head, and her skin fell down, revealing a pair of monkeys manning a Chao mecha suit.

The monkeys shrilled and leaped away, leaving the baffled girls behind.

Yue sucked on her juice carton noisily. "I feel so Gainax right now."


Ugly.

"Class, meet Negi Springfield, your new English and homeroom teacher," Shizuna said.

Negi froze in place. He knew better than to judge people by their looks. He never had judged anyone based on their looks. But all the girls in that classroom were so ugly, their combined ugliness was enough to crush all living joy out of him for a fleeting moment. After Shizuna discreetly squeezed his hand in support, however, he forced himself to smile and greet the class of hideous looking freaks.

Then they made a deafening collective cry of glee, and they jumped to bury him under a squirming hill of ugliness. Negi shrieked for help desperately.


"GAH!" he cried as he woke up and found himself face to face with the living nightmare that was Asuna-san's face. She smelled like his sister, but she sure didn't look like her at all! Damn his sleepwalking! His sense of smell had betrayed him!

That morning, Asuna found him self-hogtied to his futon and facing away from her and Konoka's beds. She never could understand how he managed it...


The Black Lillies' offer to become '''their''' teacher instead had been tempting. Oh so very tempting. But then he saw Makie-san's freakish but devastated and sad face, and he swallowed the acceptance before it could be uttered. Instead, he rose to the older girls' challenge as well.

Along his students.


He didn't have the heart to mention how much Photoshop Chisame-san had to be using. Instead, he only smiled and said, "Ah! But Chisame-san looks much better this way!"

She had to know it was a blatant lie. For a moment, he feared he had insulted her and her intelligence worse than a tacit admission of her monstrously pimply ugliness would have.

She still punched him, but not as hard as he had expected.


Chamo paced back and forth, worried. He never thought he'd see the day when he would consider not making a Pactio for his brother, but there wasn't even a single salvageable girl in that classroom. He thought of convincing him to look for help in another classroom. That Itoshiki guy seemed to have quite the collection of beauties.

But Negi would not hear a word of it.

In the end, Asuna-san did far better than Chamo ever thought. He still couldn't bear looking at her face, though.


Tsukuyomi's heart soared. Disgusting as the aspect of that Sempai was, her technique was so perfect, and her power so big, it still was love at first sight.

Tsukuyomi, in her own way, was always about looking past the outside and focusing on the raw heart of anothers' passion and fighting spirit. And really, she, who loved the sight of a massacre, cared relatively little about popular notions of esthetics. Setsuna-sempai was as beautiful as a goddess in her mind's eye.

Now, all she had to do was pulling her away from that horrible daughter of the Konoes...


Paio Zi paused grimly for a moment.

"Eh," she ended up saying. "As long as they still have breasts-"

Granted, their breasts tended to be ugly too, to a point even an omnivore like the infamous Chichigami was moved to hesitate, but beggers couldn't be pickers, right? After all, they had made every other woman in the baths to scram away in terror.


Fate Averruncus paid no mind to anyone's appearance. That saved him from the extra world of pain Negi always brought on those who commented on his Ministra's deformities.

Fate's female followers, on the other hand, could not help but flaunting their own beauty on the face of those horrendous rejects from the Old World.

Worse for them. The Ministra also were terribly sensitive on comments about their appearances.


Negi held his firstborn close to his chest and smiled.

She was the world's most beautiful girl.

And to his eyes, she'd still have looked that way, even if she had looked like her mother at all.


As Easy as Amnesia.

Anime Final Movie Negi sobbed. "— and so, all of them but one will suffer eternal amnesia... They won't remember any of the time we spent together... any of the many things we lived through... our friendship forged through all those adventures... everything, all of it, they will forget it!"

Katsuragi Keima looked blandly at him across the table. "— and so what?"

Negi looked back at him for a moment before punching him in the stomach.

"Actually, " Ranma said, "I think I'd be interested on how I can get one of those harem amnesia deals, as well..."


A Matter of Jurisdiction.

"I can't believe we are having this discussion again," Kuchiki Rukia sighed.

Elsie pouted. "Well, we wouldn't keep having the same discussion if you didn't keep running into our Runaway Spirit captures!"

"For the last time, they are called Hollows!" Rukia said. "True, I still don't understand why they keep possessing young girls now instead of wandering around devouring souls, but... Hollows act very weird at times."

"No, no, no, I tell you, you're getting it wrong!" she looked back at her companion, who stood at the sidelines with a blank faced Ichigo. "Kami-niisama, set her right, will you?"

"Uh, I think you're handling it fine," Keima absently said while keeping his eyes on his portable console and the galge in it.

Ichigo gave the game a dubious gaze over Keima's shoulder. "Seriously, how can you like those things? Aren't they too... girly?"

The girl lying between Rukia and Elsie began coming back to her senses, tossing her long light purple hair off her face. "Uhhh... What happened... Last thing I remember, I was—"

Rukia and Elsie both pressed a foot on her head, just hard enough to knock her back down.

"Please stay out of this, Kakizaki-san."

"Yeah, what she said, Kakizaki-san."

They stared at each other again.

"I'll draw you another cute bunny driving a fire truck," Rukia finally offered.

"Nooo, I'm not falling for that one again!"

"With a cute bear tossed in."

"Nnnghhh!" Elsie obviously fought hard against the temptation. "No, no, I can't do it...!"

"Is this going to take much longer?" Ichigo asked. "Unlike Megane here, I don't have all the day to waste it standing here waiting for you!"


No One Would Look There.

The gathered girls began fuming.

"I can't find him anywhere, " Asakura reported.

"As, as if earth had swallowed him whole!" Nodoka made a few petite sobs.

Chizuru twirled her leak around slowly, her fingers growing unrestful by the moment. "Ara ara, now this is really troubling..."

"Even with all of his powers, he couldn't have just disappeared like that! He must be somewhere!" Yuuna seethed to herself. "But where? Where?-!"

Elsewhere, inside of an otherwise empty and creepily silent movie theater, a blank-faced Akira and Asuna sat at each side of a giddily excited Negi.

"Eh, " Asuna finally said, "at least it has Johnny Depp."

Negi bounced up and down on his seat. "The Lone Ranger is awesome!"


The World Only Negi Knows.

Negi rubbed his chin in deep, troubled pondering. "This is problematic, " he said. "From what I observed, she was posessed by what us mages call a Runaway Spirit, a troublemaking soul from the underworld that enters young females with the hopes of eventually reincarnating in their children. Fortunately, " he held a small glass container up, "as a mage, I have been taught how to deal with them. All we need is to drive the Runaway Spirit from her body by filling the emptiness in her heart. Once we do that, the spirit will leave her and I'll capture it into this."

His new student frowned coldly. "'We'?"

"Certainly, " Negi nodded. "It will involve making her to develop strong romantic feelings, and well, I'm her teacher and much younger than her. It wouldn't proper at all if I covered that part of the operation, would it?" he reasoned.

Somewhere in Wales, an ermine elf shuddered and looked up. "Bro! What are you doing?"

Keima turned around and began walking away, his attention focused again on his handheld. "Forget it. I have no interest, reason or desire to help you."

"Katsuragi-san, " Negi said then, in a suddenly icy voice. "Ayumi-san is my student too, you know that?"

"Of course I do. And?"

"And, " Negi said in an incredibly tense tone, "you know I would never forgive anyone who would allow harm to befall one of my students, don't you?"

Something about those words made Keima actually dubious and wary enough to ask "Even another student of yours?"

"My sister taught me once that, if you are going to allow one of your condisciples falling in disgrace, then you aren't their condisciple at all..." Negi's strangely dangerous tone grew even more ominous.

For some reason, Keima felt like gulping.


The small adorable boy smiled at Mari. "Good afternoon!" he bowed in a highly polite fashion. "I'm your illegitimate son with my father!"

Keima blinked, obviously shocked by how the boy teacher could have gotten the stupid cover story so wrong. "Um, um, I think you mean—!"

Mari swallowed very quickly and melted into nervous giggles. "Oh my! Oh my oh my oh dear!" And she hugged Negi. "Don't worry, poor child! From now on, I'll look after you... forever!"

Keima's face turned into a bizarre masque of distorted concern.


The Runaway Spirits posessed girls from all across town, from every school in the city. Mahora, Furinkan, Tomobiki, Tomoeda, Ohtori, even Youkai Academy. And pretty much every class from every school had at least one attacked girl in their ranks.

All but Itoshiki-sensei's class.

Even Runaway Spirits had standards.


Chamo sniffled, pacing back and forth across the table. "I can't believe it! Bro, you're supposed to be the kissing and conquering stud, and I'm supposed to be the one who gets you the girls! That's how it's done! You can't act like the familiar to this pencil necked geek, no offense mister since I can see you've got the chops too, but anyway, this must be remedied from now on! From this day, you will be the one doing the conquests!"

"But I really think he's better at it than I'd ever be!" Negi protested. "And I'm their teacher! And ten!"

Chamo gave his protege a concerned look. "Really?"

"Uhhh..."

"I have no problems stepping aside, " Keima quietly said while playing and playing.

The ermine looked at him, hummed, then said, "Say, what have you actually learned from those things anyway...?"


Ayaka blinked. "Hm. Okay. Let me see if I have understood it, Sensei. You and Katsuragi-sempai have this... association going on, where you free girls from the spirits posessing them, and then you kiss them to give them magical powers so they can help you in your quest to find your father. And so far, you have done that with Asuna-san, Takahara-sempai, Nodoka-san, Aoyama-sempai, Chisame-san, Nakagawa-sempai, Konoka-san, Setsuna-san, that tiny old lady with the creepy granddaughter, and—"

"It all kind of snowballed out of control, " Negi miserably admitted.

Ayaka rubbed her temples in slow circles. "And even Makie-san! Why? I doubt she had any worries to make her vulnerable to one of those spirits!"

"Actually, I just tackled him and kissed him as soon as I learned of it all, " Makie candidly said.

"I'm going to hurt you...!" Ayaka hissed.

Keima grumbled, pondering on how bothersome and noisy 3D girls were while keeping his game of Let's Romance Net Idol Chiu! "If only any of you could be half as good as Chiu-sama is..."

For some reason he never understood, Chisame elbowed him in a really vicious way then.


You're Gaijin, You Wouldn't Understand.

Batman and Superman stood over the devastated, wrecked, smoking wasteland that used to be Japan.

"Hnh," Batman said. "I knew they would end up like this eventually."

"I could hear it all the way from Apokolips, even over Darkseid's whining as I gave him that wedgie, " Superman said in a somber tone. "It was as if ten million voices cried 'ANTA BAKA! HENTAI!' at once before falling silent."

"Clark, it was ten million voices crying 'ANTA BAKA! HENTAI!' at once before falling silent."

He shrugged. "Of course it. Superhearing never lets me down, Batbitch."

"I found this one alive," Wolverine said as he walked closer with a slightly charred but unconcerned Luffy D. Monkey, who was messily chomping on a large chunk of well cooked meat. "Seems he had no idea of the whole mess goin' on with the harems thing."

"Yo...!" Luffy cheerfully waved.

Superman gave the meat he was munching on a worried look. "Um, you know that's no pork or cattle, don't you..."

"Finders keepers!" Luffy warned.

"... Be my guest, " Superman sighed before posing with his fists on his hips, a random bald eagle landing down on his shoulder. Luffy stretched an arm and yanked it down to start eating it up too, while the Man of Steel went on, oblivious, "We'll never forget you, Japan! We'll never forget all the wonders you gave us, like, uh... sushi, and..."

"Ninja. I'm going to miss fighting those guys, " Wolverine said.

"Ninja? Oh, phooie!" Luffy snorted.

"Come to think about it, you aren't even Japanese. What are you doing at Japan to begin with—" Batman began.

Superman rasped. "Ahem! Yes, we'll miss all these brave souls living here, groping others in the subway and dating virtual people with gigantic eyes and pink and green hair! And we'll never forget the valuable lesson we learned from them, on how we never should have hilarious romantic misunderstandings with the power of demigods and the mental maturity of ten year olds! And how we should make things clear early on instead of falling prey to Can't Spit it Out nonsense! And how we never should have our noses exploding in geysers of blood when thinking of the opposite gender, while we're at it! Seriously, what was up with that?"

"Does that mean you'll stop dating Lois and Lana at once?"

"Shut up, Bruce."

"I'm still alive...!" Urashima Keitaro whined from the ashen ground.

Superman rubbed his own square chin. "Come to think about it, Goku and me never settled that issue on which one of us would win, either..."

"You're never letting that go, are you?"

"I think I already said 'Shut up, Bruce'…"


Rosemary's Baby.

We'll call him Damian! Satsuki announced proudly as she held her dark skinned newborn with the grim sinister aura surrounding him.

Negi smiled affably but awkwardly. "Ah... That's a pretty good name, Satsuki-san... Gootchy-gootchy, goo..." he began tickling the baby's lower lip with a finger, before he cruelly bit on it with the two sharp teeth he already had. "AHHHH!"

"Don't mind him, Sensei, " the baby's father told him calmly as was her custom. "He's just trying to suck the Magia Erebea out of your body. He's still too young to realize he can't do that..."

Ominous beat.

"... yet..."

Negi shuddered. "Oh, oh, I see, Zazie-san..."

Misa burst in violently. "Zazie! I'm pregnant! Take responsibility!"

Satsuki looked at her child's father and scowled slightly. I thought you were going to rid of that extra part...!

Zazie scratched the back of her head sheepishly.

Look, I know I said I wouldn't care, just like you didn't care when I was seeing Ku Fei on the side, but if you're going to do it, do it without the added parts. You owe yourself to our family now!

Don't try to play the Cute Mute card with me, Zazie...

Asuna's face scrunched up a little. "Um well, it's been nice visiting you, but... we have things to do urgently... I don't know, elsewhere…"


Holy…!

Natsumi supposed this American cop movie wasn't really that much worse than those violent Sentai shows Kotaro and Negi already watched, or even that insanely violent Magical Musical Cannon Girl they were caught watching at times too (ah, the times of good old Biblion). And certainly, Chizu-ne didn't seem to mind either, sitting there with them, watching in fascinated silence. So Natsumi sat as well despite the movie not being of her liking. Survival is difficult for a loser in the war for the remote.

"You know, there's something I've always wondered about these movies, " Kotaro said, checking the heavily censored subtitles, "Why do they always say Holy shit? I mean, it's shit! Excrement! How could that ever possibly be holy?"

Natsumi looked at him, aghast. "KOTARO-KUN!"

"What! It's exactly what they are saying!"

Chizuru lifted an eyebrow. "When did you get to be that well versed on English, Kotaro-kun?"

"Oh, you know, the Americans hire mercenaries all the time. In that, movies don't lie..."

Natsumi's eyes spiraled. "Oh dear! So that's what holy shit meant the whole time? I, I always thought it was just a normal exclamation of surprise, like what the fuck!" she said that in heavily accented English.

"Um, actually, that's a profanity as well, Natsumi-chan, " said Chizuru.

"WHAAAAT? And I used both sentences so much add-libing in our A Streetcar Named Desire play!" she began sobbing. "The shame! The shame is all-consuming!"

Kotaro shot Negi an accusing glare. "Why don't you teach them any actual useful English? See, now you made her cry!"

Negi sighed. "Sorry. By the way, at Merdiana, we have a shrine to some magically preserved excrement from the great Merlin. They say it can grant you miracles if you kneel before it and pray for two straight hours..."

"What."

"They used to kiss it to speed the process up, but the Magus decided encasing it under glass after an overjealous worshipper took a bite from it…"


Wonder Twins.

"This isn't exactly the Pactio we had been expecting for..." Fuuka said dubiously, looking down at their Artifacts. "Where's the ninja gear?"

"Just shut up and do it!" they were told from offstage.

She and her sister looked at each other, shrugged, and bumped their Artifacts together.

"Wonder Twins powers, activate!" they chorused.

"Form of a dragon!" Fuuka said.

"Form of a tidal wave!" Fumika said.

Homura and Tamaki looked at their foes' new forms and sighed.

Tamaki turned into a larger dragon who ate Fuuka, and Homura evaporated Fumika.

Some people just aren't born to win.


Prediction.

"You're the kind of character who is shown long dead with no explanation or proper foreshadowing three chapters before the end!" Rakan laughed.

Negi gave him a completely blank, confused look.

Rakan frowned, then began scratching his own nose. "No, wait, that just doesn't sound right..."


Henpecked Husband.

"And that, " Ako told her children, "was how I ended up marrying my teacher."

Her husband, sitting next to her, nodded energetically before breaking into a loud "BWACKK BUKKAWW BRWWAK! BUCK-KAWWW!"

Ako nodded at him and smiled sweetly. "Yes, so you only ever taught us Ornithology, but so what? It still counts, Boo-kins..."

Her daughter frowned as her little brother kept pecking on his breakfast. "But Mom, then what happened to that English homeroom guy? The really young teacher?"

"Oh, Negi-sensei? Well, last time I heard of him, he was still happily married with that Tsukuyomi girl and raising their six children in Wales. You should have seen Setsuna-san's face when she gave me the update…"


Mahou Sensei Nekane.

She looked at her diploma and frowned slightly.

Become a teacher in Japan.

Well, if the high spirits of magic said it, she couldn't possibly disobey, and although it would be awful leaving Negi so long behind at such a short age, he would be fine under the Merdiana teachers' tutelage, she supposed.

Evangeline looked down at her downed prey and sighed. "Well, only his niece, but still carrying some of his blood all the same. It'll have to suffice..." she told herself before lowering her mouth to the girl's neck...

Well, that was a short series.

Mahou Sensei Nekane, Take Two.

She looked at her diploma and frowned slightly.

Become a teacher in Japan.

Fortunately, the Headmaster and his Mahora colleague arranged for a way to have Negi studying at Mahora Elementary, and Akashi-sensei, after a few calls from Ms. Donet, promised he'd keep the boy's studies on magic on the side.

Evangeline didn't have the heart (black or not) to suck Nekane dry after that stupid pint sized brat stood between them bawling his eyes off. Damn her standards. Worse of it all, somehow, she was roped into training the stupid niece of that Nagi worm...

By the time Nekane got to teach Asuna's class, Yuuna already had all but forgotten her Papa Complex, although it had been replaced by a Shota Complex even bigger than Ayaka's. Her and Negi's wedding seven years later came as no real surprise to anyone, unlike that of Nekane and Asuna…


Satomi's Lab.

"Oooooohhhh!" her annoying sister Makie said. "What does this button do...?"

"Makie, wait, no!" Satomi cried. "Don't press the—!"

Makie pressed it regardless.

BOOOOOOOMM.

An ashen-faced Satomi blinked, coughed up some black smoke, then said, "Definitely, one of us has to be an adopted child."


The Other Side.

Five years ago, demons attacked a small village on the hills of Wales.

Five years ago, a brave hero rose and massacred the demons, saving the lives of a small child and his cousin.

That left an indelible mark.

Now, a small figure marches ahead as he hears his name, silently striding along the hallway of the prestigious magical academy. He receives his title and assignment from his venerable, old headmaster, and thanks him fittingly.

As he sees the assignment, he smiles to himself. Yes, that will do it. Yes, it will hopefully take him closer to find that man. That champion of mages. The Thousand Master.

"Father..." the boy muses.

He clenches a fist and smiles cruelly.

"Father!" he promises. "I'll find that man, the one who killed you and your forces five years ago! So I swear! And I'll destroy him and his whole family!"

The merciless laughter of the young one fills the old halls of the demon school…


Undercover Boss.

"Class, today we'll be welcoming a temporary exchange student, Kinoe Kikuemon," Negi said, gesturing for the girl with the oddly shaped head, the thick white eyebrows and the deeply wrinkled face to step ahead. Most of 3-A shuddered as she clacked her bony knees covered by brownish spots together. The rest of her legs, exposed under a skirt that had never looked so short on anyone else, was even worse. "I'm sure you'll make her feel right at home during her stay with us!"

Konoka blinked. "Aaaaahhh, " she told herself, "You remind me a lot of someone... I know! Touko-sensei!"

"What, " Setsuna blinked.

"Hee heee hee!" the new girl giggled with a voice that sounded as if she had smoked nonstop since the moment of her birth. "I'm so glad to be here with all of us-desuuuu!"

Negi smiled at her. "Kinoe-san, you'll sit next to Evangeline-san. She's the blond girl at the back of the class."

Eva snorted as the girl took her seat at her side. "Wouldn't it have worked better if you had taken a job as, I don't know, a teacher?"

She wheezed hideously, trying to keep her voice low. "We'll discuss this later. The girdle... The girdle barely lets me breathe..."

Eva rolled her eyes. Honestly, only he would be stupid enough to go with an idea like that...

Elsewhere, Tamaki, Koyomi, Shiori, Shirabe and Homura stared blankly at the dark skinned, towering new recruit before them, clad in a skimpy outfit that barely covered her suspiciously muscular body.

"This is your new partner in field operations, Mayumi-san, " Fate flatly informed. "I have verified she is very strong and able, and while I haven't been able to contact Dynamis-sama for his opinion on her, I'm sure he won't object to her inclusion in our ranks…"


Payback.

"Ahhh!" Uzumaki Naruto exhaled in contentment as he walked back in. "Another day, another dozen of Stu fics done! Yo bitches, the Foxman is in the house and hungry for- Oh, shit!"

Negi grinned from the interest position he was taking in Naruto's bed with a naked Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Tsunade. "Payback, bitch! Payback!"


Parting Gift.

Their last night together, Asuna hadn't expected it to end that way. Even now, she still wasn't sure of how it had come to that. There was Ayaka, Konoka, Setsuna, Negi and her in the same room, going over all they had passed through together, and making plans for a meeting Asuna was almost sure never would come to happen.

Konoka had taken the first step into that other direction. She had kissed Asuna sweetly when she couldn't take it anymore, and the Setsuna had been brought in, and then Ayaka, and finally Negi...

They had gone through it instinctively, or something, Asuna guessed. Negi was, after all, a boy, and they were girls, and Konoka and Ayaka seemed to have some general idea from TV and Paru's borrowed manga, and next thing Asuna knew she was on her stomach on the bed with Negi's thing pumping inside of her, his hands caressing her skin, and then he shot some warmth inside of her, with a loving moan of her name.

Then Ayaka had started kissing her as Konoka claimed Negi for herself, and by the morning everyone in the room had been everyone else's.

That only made the separation all the more painful.

Now, standing before Chao and Evangeline, Asuna only could ask, sadly, "So, who was your female ancestor, after all?"

Chao smiled back. "Negi never had any children."

Asuna blinked through the tears. "Ah?-! But then, how are you-!"

And Chao tenderly ran a hand over Asuna's belly. "But he will now."

Asuna sniffled. "Oh. Oh. Oh, I... I get it."

Chao hugged her as Asuna began to bawl.


Snow Negi and the Thirty One Schoolgirls.

Once upon a time, there was this great hero dude who married a princess, so he became the King of the land. Sadly, the queen disappeared in some sort of incident or another I won't bother explaining because I had a fallout with Kodansha, so the King was left alone with his son. However, one day, when the son was ten, the King went to his magical mirror and asked him, "Mirror mirror in the wall, who is the most badass chick magnet of them all?"

The mirror answered, "Hey man, you once were the biggest shit in town. But now, you're just an old clown. Snow Negi, your son, is the biggest chick magnet now. He'll have his own line of lemon fanfics without having to grow!"

Angered because he had never been in a lemon fanfic, the King called on Jack the Badass Hunter and commanded him to take Snow Negi to the woods, kill him, and bring him his heart as proof. But since Jack the Badass Hunter was a kind hearted type of badass, and mainly, the King hadn't paid him enough, he just took Snow Negi to the woods, told him he'd have to grow stronger and badass there with survival training, and left him there to bring the King the heart of a Kodansha executive (this is where you know the story is fictional bull) and go star in his own series of badass adventures. Probably even playing Thor.

Snow Negi, with the help of the kind woodland ermines and beastgirls and similar critters, grew stronger and badass in the woods, until he reached the cabin of thirty one schoolgirls who worked at the diamond mines, because diamonds are a girl's best friend, get it. Mucho Shotacon ensued.

One day, before going off to work on the diamond mines, Schoolgirl Number Twenty Five told Snow Negi "Be careful, brat, since I've read in the Internet the King has learned you didn't die when you were killed, and he's gunning for you." Snow Negi promised being careful, and the girls went off for the mines singing Happy-Hi Material-Ho leaving him to wash their clothes, cook their meals, press their wardrobe, clean their floors, polish their windows, make their beds, feed the Chibi-Setsuna and record their favorite TV shows.

Later that day, however, a Mysterious Cloaked Figure knocked at the door and offered Snow Negi an apple. Snow Negi saw through the disguise, punched the figure in the stomach, and then his old man just had enough and put him in a deep sleep with a spell.

When the schoolgirls came back home, they saw Snow Negi comatose on the floor, and greatly wept for him before deciding to do the sane logical thing and putting him in a crystal coffin for exhibit. Charging for admission at Schoolgirl Number Eighteen's suggestion. After making several fortunes, during Snow Negi's World Tour 2003, Prince Fate of Averruncus was charmed by Snow Negi's delicate youthful looks and—

"Ah, no! We aren't going there!" Schoolgirl Number Eight pushed Prince Fate aside and kissed Snow Negi herself. Her magic cancel kiss unmade the eternal kiss sleep, and they all lived happily ever after.

Except the King, who, ah, died offscreen or some such shit. Again, if Akamatsu didn't care, why should I.

And that's the end.


It's Indecent!

Tendo Akane from Furinkan High blinked. "Excuse me? What have you just said?"

Kotegawa Yui from Seinan High pointed at the long skirts Akane and the rest of the Furinkan girls were wearing. "Your dress code is indecent! What a shame!"

Kiryuu Nanami from Ohtori shook her head. "Very true! It's simply gruesome!"

"Flammating men's lecherous imaginations like that!" Suzushiro Haruka from Fuuka Gakuen was similarly scandalized. "Don't you have any shame?"

"The way you make them look at you!" Yukihiro Ayaka from Mahora hissed. "How can you live at peace with yourselves?"

"Seriously! You wouldn't catch me in one of those! Even I have standards!" Kurono Kurumu from Youkai High added.

"What?-!" Akane cried. "Get real! Our skirts are far longer than any of yours!"

"Precisely!" Shimei Ryomou from Nany Academy said, "By wearing those... things, you are forcing men to think of what there is underneath! So they spend far longer looking at you and undressing you with their eyes."

"I bet they love it, the attention whores..." Takagi Saya from Fujimi High muttered.

Misaka Mikoto from Academy City nodded and prayed no one noticed she wore shorts under her own miniskirt. She really didn't need or want being called a teasing slut again…


All Equal, but Unequally.

"You lied to us, Sensei!" Ako cried. "You told us we were the protagonists of our own stories, but in the end, we were nothing but background noise to YOUR story!"

Her teacher shrugged. "You all were the protagonists of your own stories, it's just your stories sucked and petered out..."

Haruna frowned. "Didn't your story get as much of a flop ending as ours?"

Zazie blinked. "When did I have a story of my own?"


The Secret of my Success.

Against his expectations, the class he was going to teach didn't burst into exclamations of glee borderlining pedophilic worship. As a matter than that, other than a gorgeous blonde squealing into nearly orgasmic delight and a pink haired short girl exclaiming "HOW CYUUUUUTE!" the girls seemed to range between disbelieving, disgusted and appalled.

Murmurs began to abound just as soon.

"—can't believe they took a hunk like Death Glasses away for this—"

"—is this even legal?"

"—We'll be the school's laughingstock again..."

"— going to ask Dad for a relocation—"

"— at least will be easy to manipulate—"

Negi blinked. He had to act fast. "Excuse me, please, Sensei," he whispered, quickly getting past Shizuna and dashing into the hallway.

Once there, he pulled his trusty AXE Deodorant (TM) and applied generous helpings of it on his armpits.

Smiling to himself, he walked back into the classroom.

The females exploded into a burning ball of "OHHHH! SO PRETTY!"

He sighed in relief as he was assaulted, and even those staying back like that bespectacled girl with the glasses, the blonde loli and the really short one with voluminous braided hair began rubbing their legs together uneasily.

The AXE Effect. It's Better than Magic.


Disaster Date.

"This... This just isn't going to work out," Fuuka decided with a sigh, placing both hands on the cafe's table. She shook her head sadly. "Sorry, it's not you, it's us. Not that we are racist or anything, it's just you are too..."

"Yellow," Fumika completed, really wishing Nana and Momo would take their calls again.

The two American girls, Sherri and Terri, looked blankly at them across the table.

"Well, honestly!" one of them finally said, indignated.

"I told you we shouldn't have tried to date Japanese!" her twin told her while standing up to leave.

But it was getting so difficult to find Twincestous double dates anymore…


Oh my Memetic Sex God!

"Hello!" the young boy who had just appeared before Morisato Keiichi after that fateful wrong number calling for takeout introduced himself with a wide smile. "I'm Negi Springfield, God of Shotas! The office of Harem Male Lead Support has sent me to grant you a wish!"

"I wish to be more popular with women!" Keiichi jumped at the chance.

"Oh, that's an easy one! You just have to... SUIT UP!"


Graduation.

The five small students between ten and twelve stood before the Magus, along the much taller student who grinned goofily.

The tall and gorgeous blond woman on the honor seat watched on with a tight face as the Magus called on the graduates, starting with the best and most honored of them all. Her heart pumped with silent pride.

"Negi Springfield!"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Anya Cocolova!"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Ernest Mc Kenzie!"

"Yay! I finally have a name!"

"Mary Weisbern!"

"Here! Hum, but wasn't my name Rose?"

"Little Guy with the Goofy Puffy Hat!"

"I have a name too, Magus!"

Finally, the old man sighed, and called the final graduate, the one who had taken the longest to graduate in the school of Merdiana. After dropping at least eleven times from his studies to go save the world and generally laze around, he had barely made it this year, sporting the lowest possible grades for it. And the Magus still was sure he only had managed it because Negi had helped him.

"Nagi Springfield!"

"That's me!" the young man cheered, moonwalking his way over to the dean and accepting his diploma with a perfect white smile. More than half the women in the audience cooed and fainted.

Afterwards, his happy son, his stern looking wife, his beloved niece and his son's unofficial girlfriend mobbed him.

"Uncle Nagi! I'm so glad for you and Negi!"

"... Congratulations, Nagi. Do you see? You could do it as long as you really put your mind into it..."

"Mr. Nagi! I'll be a fortune teller at London!"

"Father! Father! My diploma says I'm going to be a teacher at Japan!"

"Hoo hoo! Japan, huh? Well, if you happen to meet Eva-chan there, tell her... you aren't my son. For your own good. Hey, look! My assignment is showing, too!"

They all looked curiously to see the words appearing on the certificate.

It read A Gynecologist at Sweden.

Huge drops of sweat appeared on everyone's heads.

Until Arika Springfield grabbed Nagi's diploma and shredded it between her fingers. "You did it well all these years without one of these!"


Unspoken Plan Guarantee, Part 1.

Negi opened his eyes, noticing he had bandages all around his head, and he was in a hospital bed surrounded by his friends. And Godel.

"What...? How did it-"

"Relax!" Asuna smiled at him. "You're fine now. Fate punched you a lot during your fight, and, um, then the Lifemaker kinda nearly killed you, and, ah, I'm sure you only hallucinated the part where he was your dad, but... Bottomline, all the bad guys are down now, and we can start the part where you finally tell us how to save the Magical World for good!"

Negi blinked. "Why didn't Konoka-san just-"

Konoka smiled weakly with a bandaged arm from the next bed. Setsuna nodded, since it was all she could do in her traction on the bed after that. She had a note with a pink smiley reading 'Get better soon!- Yomi-chan' pinned to her left foot.

"- Ah," Negi said.

"Well, yeah, just tell us already, what's your big plan?" Kotaro urged.

"Ah, yes, the plan-" Negi trailed off. "The plan is- You know, it seems I have forgotten the plan," he said with a lame smile.

Everyone else became stone statues. Except Yue, who sipped noisily from her carton of yellow blackberry juice. "Copycat."

Negi looked at her. "And who are you?"


Unspoken Plan Guarantee, Part 2.

Asuna glowed in a powerful white light as she finished healing Mundus Magicus back. "There! It's done. Down to every last human, animal and plant in this world. But it's only a temporary fix, so you'd better tell us your plan for-"

Negi rammed a fist through her chest, making her puke red all over his face. Then she vanished in the air, becoming one with Mundus Magicus.

Negi turned a red-stained saintly smiling face towards Ala Alba, Ala Rubra and 3-A. "And that's it! By merging Asuna with this world in this exact moment, we've managed to stabilize the power flux of this plane of existence permanently! Thank you! We couldn't have done it without you!"

The others stared at him in shocked mute horror.

"What?" he finally said. "She forced me to bathe! And she was ROUGH!"


Jersey Shore.

The diploma read Teaching Young Italoamericans in New Jersey, USA.

Negi smiled confidently. "Well, I'm sure I can do that!"

Five months later, he returned to Merdiana covered in blood and grinning maniacally, refusing to answer Nekane and the Dean's concerned questions.

Either way, no magus jury dared finding him guilty once they learned the truth.


Lie.

He hadn't died satisfied or contented at all. How could he, knowing he'd never see Asuna again? That was why Chao, who had that stupid hangup on never saying a lie, had kept a blissful oblivious silence on the subject, skillfully dancing around it. Anyway, Asuna had believed Evangeline when she haad told her that, and that was all that mattered.

Evangeline had little use for virtues like honesty. Having said such a lie wouldn't bother her for the remainder of her existence. Knowing she had said it to keep Asuna relatively happy was another, far more troubling matter, but Evangeline could cope with that. As long as no one else knew…


Ticket to Royalty.

"Negi, Asuna, " Arika informed them solemnly, "I have found, during my quest for Nagi, another member of the Royal Ostian Family—"

"ANOTHER one?-!" Asuna yelled. "Geez, Mom, why to bother finding so many people for a throne we'll never claim anyway!" A beat. "And if we do, it's mine. No one else's."

"Eeeeehhhh—" Negi began.

"No one else's!" Asuna repeated herself.

Arika frowned. "Be that as it may be, I found him. The heterochromia of the royal family is proof of it. Behold."

And she placed a rather rounded pigeon with blue and purple feathers and mismatched eyes on the table.

Negi and Asuna stared at it.

"Meet Cousin Pesto, " Arika unfazedly said, before adding, "Raised Italoamerican."

The bird stared back at Asuna and Negi. "Whatcha lookin' at?"

"It's a pigeon, " Asuna said.

"Gotta problem with that?" the bird puffed his chest up.

"Oh, come on!" Asuna said. "It's a freaking bird! Not even the Setsuna variety! He couldn't be possibly related to us!"

"Oh, yeah?" the pigeon said. "Whatcha trying to say with dat, huh? You saying you're too good to be related to me, huh? You're saying you're too fancy and good and nice, with your freaky long legs, and your slick featherless body, and the bells on your head? Are you telling me I'm nuthin' but a stinking boid compared to you? A nobody? A waste of your precious royal space and blue blood? Is that what you're trying to say?-!"

Asuna recoiled, slightly intimidated despite herself. "Uh, no! All I'm saying is you can't be my relative, because I'm not a bird!"

The pigeon huffed, turned around, and gave two steps away from Asuna. "Oh! So I'm nothing but a bird!"

Asuna nodded. "Yeah, of course you are!"

"DAT'S IT...!" the pigeon roared, jumping back for Asuna's face, and an epic struggle started.

Negi looked at the other figure sitting beside him. "I think I like you better, Cousin Boo."

"BWAAARK! BUCK-KAWWK, BUKAKWK, BUWAARK!"

"He's a chicken, I tell you!" Chisame protested. "A giant chicken! Oh, come on…!"


Spy Vs. Spy.

The White Spy had been studying the teachings of Rowling, the sacred texts of Potter, for months now. Day and night, with no rest but the most necessary ones, he practiced the spells described wherein, until he mastered their magic. He became as good a practicioner of the magical arts of that universe as anyone could. Then he challenged his old enemy, the Black Spy.

They met near the Academy, and the White Spy reached for his wand, starting to cast the deadly spell that would...

... before he could finish moving or casting, the Black Spy already had unleashed seventy magical arrows of fire that fell on the White Spy and pulverized him to ashes.

Chuckling derangedly to himself, the Black Spy pulled his favored textbook on Akamatsu Black Sorcery and the magics of the Springfields, and made a 'V' sign with his free hand…


Last Meal.

Chachamaru looked at the still figures crumbled all around the table.

"I believe," she finally said, "it was a bad idea choosing a fugu restaurant to celebrate our victory."

Evangeline delicately cleaned her mouth with a napkin. "Speak for yourself. This is the best fish I have ever tasted. Hey, Boya! Stop pretending, it's not like this could kill you anymore! Call the waiter and ask for more to take home!"

Negi twitched. "All the same, I'm not feeling well at all…"


So Totally not a Replacement.

"I'll be honest with you," he finally sighed. "At first, the only reason why I took on that date was because your picture reminded me so much of a girl... who was close to me."

She lifted an eyebrow the slightest bit. "Is that so? I had no idea they had created more female Averrunci..."

The scrawny boy looked at her without understanding. "Huh? Oh, no, she... I guess you could say she was created rather than born, yes, but... Look, that doesn't matter now. What I mean is, I'm sorry I came into this actually looking for someone else. But I, I have come to actually care about you on your own, on what you really mean to me, and- and-"

He crumbled on himself, hunchbacked on his chair. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I know I'm not good enough for you, or anyone for that matter..."

She studied him carefully for a moment before placing a hand on his shoulder. "You are a curious human being, Ikari Shinji."

Fate gave her as much of a quizzical look as he could manage. "Why?" he asked at last.

She kept looking down humbly. "Well, he is the only human male who has been that... gentle to me. Even your friend Negi still holds what I did to his students against me, even if he doesn't realize it himself. And he is kind and polite, and I'm somehow pregnant, and he has a stable job, and Dynamis-sama says he's interested on the giant unit he pilots, and he can cook, and he makes the best coffee you ever could taste..."

That last part caught Fate's attention. "Really?"

"Well," Sextum half-sighed, just a bit sadly, "It certainly isn't for the quality of the sex itself…"


Going from Bad to Otaku.

Asuna looked at the couch where Evangeline and Chachazero sat watching TV. "You finally got them to watch anime, then?"

"Yeah," Haruna mumbled. "Although Chachazero... well, I suppose it should have been expected, but..."

Chachazero burst into laughing as Evangeline kept on a cold, even sneering, expression.

"Let me guess. They're watching a hyperviolent anime, with tons of torsos exploding and blood flying everywhere," said Asuna.

"Nah, that would haven't surprised or disturbed me at all," Haruna said. "As I said, it's something you could have expected from Chachazero, but at the same time... Not in the exact way you'd have thought."

"What do you mean?" Asuna was intrigued.

The doll was rolling around in laughter now.

Haruna held a DVD case for Asuna to see.

The redhead read aloud, "Grave of the Fireflies? What..."

"Oh, oh, oh!" Chachazero guffawed. "This is even better than When The Wind Blows..!"


Jobs the Negima Cast Never Should Take.

Tsukuyomi: Dentist.

Kagurazaka Asuna: Attorney at Law.

Konoe Konoemon: Male Stripper.

Negi Springfield: Opera Singer.

Cocone Fatima Rosa: Motivational Speaker.

Kakizaki Misa: Babysitter.

Takane D. Goodman: South Pole Explorer.

Nagi Springfield: Accountant.

Jack Rakan: Drag Queen.

Anya Cocolova: Marriage Counselor.

Nekane Springfield: Prostitute.

Zazie Rainyday: Rapper.

Yotsuba Satsuki: Baby Seal Hunter.

Naba Chizuru: Proctologist.

Quartum: Ice Cream Truck Driver.

Quintum: Mangaka.

Sakurazaki Setsuna: Stand Up Comedian.

Ookuchi Akira: Desert Ranger.

Aisaka Sayo: TV News Anchorwoman.

Yukihiro Ayaka: Ape Tamer.

Shirabe: Drummer.

Amagasaki Chigusa: Schoolteacher.

Evangeline Mc Dowell: Censor.

Fate Averruncus: Rodeo Clown.

Homura: Firefighter.

Albert Chamomille: Boxer.

Inugami Kotaro: Gynecologist.

Shiina Sakurako: Emo Icon Singer.

Kurt Godel: Pope.


Achievement.

"Konoka," she called her, sounding firm and unhesitant.

And Konoka's heart soared. She was no childish Kono-chan or respected Ojou-sama anymore.

They were, at last, equals.