Once again, it's been a long time. Frankly, it's been too damn hot around here to concentrate on writing lately. Or much of anything else. There's been little to no movement on the getting-ready-to-move front, and the heat's to blame for that, too.

On top of that, work has, as always, been work, and my writing time has dropped off.

This is one piece that I've been wanting to write for a while, and I just couldn't quite figure out how. Until now. It was just weird enough to be a challenge, and I think I took it a step farther than I did in SR&R.

Let me know what you think.

As always, Fullmetal Alchemist and all associated characters and situations are not mine. If they were, the prank war would be canon.


The last thing Edward Elric expected when he went to drop his report off was an empty room. He looked around, then checked outside, on the off-chance that he had accidentally walked into an unused office without meaning to.

"Hey, Boss," Havoc said as Edward stepped into the outer office. "You okay?"

"Uh...yeah..." Edward said, almost to himself, "I think so. Say, did the Bastard move while I was gone, and not bother to tell me?"

"No, why?"

"Just...wondering," he said. Yes, he was definitely in the right office, so what the hell was going on?

He went back into the empty office and looked around again. The same curtains as always. The same ugly carpet, complete with lumps. The scratch on the wall from that last alchemical fight he and Mustang had had...

There was a faint snore from...up above him?

Knowing full well that he would probably regret it, Edward looked up.

There on the ceiling was all of Colonel Mustang's office furniture, set up the same as when it was on the floor. Strapped into his chair, sleeping like the proverbial baby, was the Bastard himself.


Edward opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, at a spectacular loss for words. After several attempts at making a comment, he finally shook his head, turned and walked out.


Put it back. Now.

a. You know what I mean.

Edward didn't until he walked into Mustang's office and found all of the colonel's office furniture and everything on it on the ceiling. He blinked, shook his head, left his report with Lt. Hawkeye, and put in for a vacation.

"I think I've been working too hard," he said.


A/N: Any ideas on how Mustang got up there?