My name is Kyle Broflovski.
I'm twenty-five, and I'm a sales associate at an ink supplies company.
I make about sixty grand a year.
I'm married to Kenny McKormick, a bartender.
Kenny, Stan, Craig, Cartman, Wendy and Tweek are my friends.
I'm allergic to dogs.
I've never been fired.
My middle name is Keshet.
I have bright red, curly hair.
I have my left eyebrow pierced.
I'm a Jew.
I love art.
My mother doesn't speak to me anymore.
My favourite color is yellow.
I hate pop music.
I lost my virginity to Kenny at age eighteen.
My favourite actor is Meryl Streep.
I hate cooking.
I love birds and reptiles.
I got a perfect 100 in grade ten History.
My favourite sport is basketball.
I play the oboe and piano.
Stanley Marsh was my first kiss.
I have green eyes.
I self-harmed from grade eight to eleven.
I started smoking last year.
My favourite band is Green Day.
I lost an academic scholarship to Wendy Testaburger.
As a result, I couldn't go to college.
I weigh one-hundred-twenty-eight pounds.
I have a six-pack.
I have Arachnophobia.
I hate kink.
I take my coffee black.
My blood type is AB-, the rarest blood type in the world.
But I'm too scared to give blood.
I drive the 2011 Honda Piece of Shit That Never Runs.
The only class I ever failed was grade ten gym.
I never skipped school in high school.
I love the Sims games.
I hate watching sports.
I'm great at gymnastics.
I hate dancing.
I didn't go to my prom, because Kenny was dead.
To make it up to me, Kenny proposed.
My best friend Stan is getting married this year.
He's marrying someone I think is very wrong for him.
When I had my bar mitzvah, Cartman threw a squash at me.
I beat him to a pulp right there in the temple.
I have acute insomnia.
I love cats.
I'm fluent in English, French, Spanish, German, Mandarin, Hebrew and Japanese.
I'm currently working on Swahili.
I hate butter.
I still play World of Warcraft.
I never go anywhere without my laptop.
My brother still has a thing for my husband.
Kenny actually asked if he could do him.
I didn't speak to him for two weeks.
I love Star Trek.
I hate Shelly Marsh with a passion.
Contrary to popular belief, I almost always top.
I still play Guitar Hero with Stan on a regular basis.
My friends say I should be a stand-up comedian.
Despite this, I still believe I'm not very funny.
I hate the Wii.
I can't eat ice cream without sprinkles.
I get strep throat about every three months.
My brother was raped when he was fourteen.
I'm the only person he's ever told.
I like reading textbooks.
I have horrible vision.
I'm saving up for laser surgery that I'm terrified of.
I wear eyeliner on a daily basis.
I hate Chinese food.
Kenny drives a motorcycle.
I refuse to get on it.
I love horses.
My favourite artist is Andy Warhol.
I slept with Stan four years ago.
I told Kenny, and he said to never speak of it again.
I'm double-jointed in my knees.
I know how to hack almost anything.
Kenny and I are saving up for a house.
I suck at singing.
But I do anyways.
My favourite animals are giraffes.
I'm extremely flexible.
I suck at 'that's what she said' jokes.
I caused Cartman to be hospitalized last year.
He called Kenny a fag, so I kicked him in the balls.
I love skinny jeans.
I'm severely allergic to pepper.
I hate vegetables.
I have Kenny's name tattooed on my lower back.
He has the same with my name.
Cartman had a good laugh over this.
I'm still long-distance friends with my ex, Rebecca.
Kenny hates this fact.
I love looking through old yearbooks.
Kenny gets seriously turned-on when I play piano.
I shaved my head in grade twelve for my aunt who died of cancer.
Kenny did the same.
I was captain of the basketball team in grade twelve.
I graduated the second from the top of my class.
I love drawing, but I hate painting.
I can do the splits.
I hate gardening.
Mine and Kenny's adoption application was rejected because we're both guys.
We took them to court and lost.
I love writing.
I can play Flight of the Bumblebee flawlessly.
I love the smell of fire, and rubber.
I love rain.
I'm terrified of thunderstorms.
And that's pretty much me, Kyle Broflovski.
A/N: Kay, I know that AB- isn't technically the rarest blood type in the world, but it's pretty damn rare.
And BTW, Flight of the Bumblebee is one of the hardest piano pieces known to man. I actually broke a key trying to play it XD
Just in case you don't know, this is the sequel to You Better Lose Yourself, and you probably won't understand this story if you haven't read the first one.
This one's from Kyle's point of view obviously. R&R doods!
Title credit to Eminem again!