Disclaimer: Everything but the plot is not mine.
Warning: Character death, spelling/grammar mistakes, missing words/letters and violence.
Pairing for the first version: Fuji/Ryoma
Pairing for the second version: Atobe/Ryoma. But Atobe isn't present for almost the whole story.
Song reference: The Gazette – Taion
Taion - Body Temperature
A/N: I don't know how many will read this till the end, so I will talk now.
I usually don't write stuff like this, but just recently I started to listen to 'Gazette' again and I remembered the story behind their song 'Taion'. That's why the second version and the name is the way it is.
As for the first one – that's just the worded version of the feelings that take over me when I listen to that song… The loss of someone important.
I don't know why I used the characters from the anime that I did on the second version, so no use asking me about it. They were the first ones to come in my mind when I wrote this fic. I'm sorry if I offended their fans.
Needless to say, I had something like a depression when I wrote this on paper.
It was tormenting.
It was so had to keep my tears from falling down my face when I can feel the warmth leaving his limp body.
My hands clamping over his much, much cooler ones, drops of warm blood covering his and mine.
His clothes in the shade of dark red, the stain growing with every second. I'm unable to help him, unable to ease his pain; his suffering.
My lips tremble and my breath is ragged and face wet with my tears. I can see the drops of my salty tears falling on his cheeks and sliding down, only to mix with the blood or disappear under the clothes. It almost, almost looks like he is the one crying.
I hiccup and hug him closer to myself, hoping to give away my warmth and rise his boy temperature.
In hope to give him some of my life.
To keep him from dying.
His breath is uneven and shallow, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. The dark liquid is staining my hands, my clothes, my face...
"Wake up Syuusuke... Please, please wake up."
I shake as I cry and tighten my hold on him... Hoping that God can hear my prayers and save him... The man that i love with all my heart.
I can hear the sirens somewhere behind me. But they are so far, far away. They won't make it in time. In time to save him.
I desperately try to stop the blood sipping out from his chest; stop him dying in front of me, in my hands.
I yell at him, I beg him, I pray, I cry.
But nothing works. His body becomes colder by the second, by every passing moment he slips further away from my reach... Out of my life.
"Don't die... I still need you... Please Syuusuke.. Stay!"
My words tangle and slur as a new wave of tears fog the scene in front of me.
The sirens are closer now, but still so far away from the dark, dirty alley that smells of metallic blood and death. Of the loss of something important and dear to me.
He coughs and more blood spills out of his mouth. I widen my eyes and wait, hoping that maybe, just maybe God has answered my prayers and won't take him away from me. Won't take my lover to heaven.
He inhales heavily and opens his eyes and I can see that that simple move asks him almost all the strength that he had left. He breaths heavily and tries to focus his once sharp blue eyes, that seem so lifeless and dull right now.
"Syuu… Syuusuke? Can you… Are you ok?"
He looks at me, or at least where he thinks I am because his eyes no longer shine with the sadistic joy and the unbelievable will to live. I guess he's trying to focus on me but can no longer see.
His bloody hands touch my face and leaves dark red lines on my cheeks and I wind my cold fingers together with his equally cold hands.
He coughs again and tries to speak in a broken voice, hoarse and only a bit louder than a whisper: "Ryo-… You… Ok?"
Another wave of coughs and I almost scream in utter fear: "Syuu! Don't.. Don't talk! Save your strength and don't talk." new wave of tears stream down my face and I bury my face in his hair. "Why did you do that? I could have dodged that easily, so why? Why did you…"
The sirens are almost next to us and I hear, feel fast footsteps running to us, voices yelling something and hands start to rummage over his body and pull me away from him.
I don't fight those hands, just quietly plead them to save my lover; to make sure that the Gods won't take him away from me.
"I'll be ok Ryo.. I'll be ok."
It's a quiet whisper that flows past all the yelling and all that noise. A whisper only for my ears and I widen my eyes in horror and heart stabbing pain.
My heart and my mind already know, even when they are fighting to save my lover, I know… It's too late now..
It's too late.
He's no longer here with me… This was the last time I heard him say my name.
His body temperature is too cold already.
I lie on the cold floor, my body wounded and bloody. The pants coming from my open lips are fast and shallow. I'm too numb to feel the pain that runs through my body over and over again.
Bruises and cuts and wounds cover my arms, legs, torso, face and my hair has stuck together, all sticky from the blood and filth in them. The clothes I'm wearing are ragged and dirty, no longer can be called clothing.. Only rags. I no longer want to live, just get it over with and die. I don't care how; painfully, fast, slow, painlessly.. I don't care, I just want to die. Living like this, in this prison.. This hell is too much.
"Please, just kill me." I whisper in the silent, empty, dirty room. No one is there to hear my pleads and it's not like I'm hoping to be heard.
The door creaks open and four people come in. Four people that I used to respect, think of as friends; really close friends. They were my team mates, rivals… Were. Now they are my tormentors, the ones that enjoy my pain, my suffering and my cries and pleads.
I'm scared; terrified as one of them lets the whip in his hands hit the ground before whipping it on my tormented body. They laugh when I scream and tears stream down my face and I slump back on the ground before jerking when the leather hits me again and again and again and again, leaving open wounds behind it.
"Oh my Echizen… It seems that you dirtied my shoe." I look up with my empty eyes, blurred with the tears, at the purple-eyed captain of Rikkai Dai Fuzoku and silently plead him to just kill me now and end my suffering. He ignores my looks and pushes his shoe in front of my bloody and chapped lips, "Lick them clean, boy."
I can't move well and don't do anything to obey the order given to me, so another purple-eyed person, who I used to call my best friend, kicks me in the stomach and spits in my face: "He asked you to lick it Echizen, he did."
He kicked me a few more times and I coughed in pain and lack of air. I relucantly support myself with my thin arms and just then another shower of whipping falls over me and I fall back on the ground, wincing in pain.
Blood pools on the dark brown wood beneath me and I pant, watching as the four pairs of legs move around me, voices talking about what they should do to me next.
Burn? Cut? Rape? Beat? Whip some more?
I have been humiliated too many times already to care anymore. All the beating, raping, and mental humiliation, torture was too much for me to take. I am already dead mentally, now all that's left is my physical body.
I feel something hot burning my skin on my back, right in the middle where my spine is. I scream with my eyes wide and hands clawing the wooden floor. Yukimura even crouches down in front of me and asks in that silky voice of his: "Isn't Kite-kun smart? He thought that this might be fun… For us that is."
Kite doesn't say anything just laughs out load and places the hot piece of metal on my skin again. He never says anything, just laughs at me and sometimes whispers something to one of the other three; Yukimura, Momoshiro or Shinjou, who also just keeps quiet all the time.
This time Shinjou takes action and yanks me by my hair painfully and after looking at me with disgust clearly written on his face, slamms my face down against the floor.
I wince in pain again and feel the hot liquid streaming out of my nose and the corners of my mouth. More coughs flow past my lips and I gag when someone kicks in the stomach again, so hard that I fly and my body collides with the wall.
My limp body just refuses to move and I look through lidded eyes as they leave the room, satisfied with the daily dose of my screams and cries.
"Remember Echizen, if you hadn't agreed to date him this wouldn't be happening." Momohirou sneered before banging the door behind him.
I could hear the banging of my heart and the metallic taste in my mouth was so common for me now. I lied motionless on the floor for a long time, my eyes scanning the dirty room in hopes that they left something behind them.
Something that I could use to end this hell.
And there it was; lying on the floor, reflecting the white, silvery moonlight. A knife, sharpened to the perfection by one of the four. It was my savior from this hell, a ticket to freedom.
I gather all the little, nonexistent strength in my body and slowly crawl to the sharp object, leaving a trail of blood behind me.
Once the knife is in my thin, trembling and deadly white hands I tryto sit up, pushing my tormented body up with the same hand that is holding the knife. The moment I am somewhat stable I bring the knife up to my throat and hold it with both hands.
I close my eyes, hopefully for the last time and whisper: "I love you Keigo... Bye, bye."
After those words leave past my lips the blade slashes the skin on my neck open in one fast movement. The sharp object falls out of my hands and clatters somewhere away from me and I sway, before falling down on the floor myself. I guess the wound isn't deep enough, because the blood streaming down my neck and on the floor is leaving a hot trail behind it and I still am conscious.
I laugh a bitter laugh: "I can't even kill myself properly."
Then my vision finally darkens and everything merges together in one black mass and my eyelids feel so very, very heavy. I slowly close my eyes and one last happy memory of the happy times together with Keigo flashes in the suffocating darkness that overwhelms me; slowly but surely.
I can swear that I can even hear his voice yelling my name and feel warm hands wrapping around me and then, moment later, the same strong hands carrying me around.
At that time while I thought I was quietly dying I couldn't have imagined that I will open my eyes again, but this time it wouldn't be in that dirty, cold room but in a hospital instead and that there would be a relieved Keigo sitting next to my bed, crying in joy that I had finally woken up.
At that time I was relieved that I can't feel the numbing pain anymore. That was all that I cared about that moment.
Originally written: 20.08.2010.
Uploaded from a friends computer, mine is still being fixed.