Disclaimer: I did not write Twilight or any Shameless episodes…I really want to though.

This is based on my favourite TV show…Shameless and is kind of nuts but so is the show and I have been dying to throw Edward and Bella into the shameless world, so here it is.


This started as a One shot for Foxy fics in support of Parkinson's disease.

Will be developed into a full story at a later date/

Song for the story: Cigarettes and Alcohol by Oasis.

Author: Snowhitequeen83- SWQ will write the entire story with Chartwilightmom as a guest writer and pre reader. She will be heavily involved.

Beta: Jaimearkin

Story Summary: Edward and Bella have grown up on the dangerous and poverty stricken Chatsworth Estate in Manchester. Edward and his family instill the fear of God into every resident with their gangland connections and Bella's dad steals all his state benefits to pay for his cigarettes and alcohol leaving Bella to take care of her seven siblings. The only solace they have is each other. But what happens when Edward's criminal life and her priorities don't mesh threatening the only real happiness they have?

I've decided to put the slang dictionary here so you can read on, knowing what the characters are saying:

A&E - ER

Our kid- Familial term in reference to a brother, cousin, sister etc.

Punter/s- customer.

Mam- Mum/Mom

Strangeways- A prison in Manchester…it's actually officially known as Manchester prison now.

Bloke- Man

Cuppa - cup of tea.

Note: The way things are written and worded are deliberate to sound more authentic and as a better reflection of the accents.


"You can get it for me, yeah?" I ask the little punk I have against the wall by his throat.

He coughs and splutters. I'm grinning.

"Yeah, yeah. I can get it" he struggles to say.

I get right in his acne ridden face "You fuckin' better, you little ass wipe. My dad warned you last week. Next time you'll get Emmett and he's, well the fucker is unhinged, ya get me?"

"Yeah, I get you, just let go, Cullen. You'll get your bloody money" he promises.

It means shit. I've heard it before. They all promise and only half of them mean it. The other half get a little trip to A&E…if they're lucky. Most of them get a one way ticket to the morgue.

Can't say they weren't warned though.

"I want the five grand or a motor worth the same. I know you boys jack some nice cars. You've got till five tomorrow" I say before giving him a good jab in the stomach and strutting away. I don't' look back but I hear the groans. They please me endlessly.

This is the Chatsworth estate and this is the way we live.

It's kill or be killed sometimes and I mean that literally.

My family is respected up and down this sorry neighbourhood and way beyond that.

You hear the words 'The Cullen's are coming' and stand back and watch as the curtains draw closed and listen to hear the click of the doors locking.

We have a reputation to be fuckin' proud of. Our kid, my brother Emmett is a pissing legend round these parts. He is known for his less then sane personality. He kills first and asks questions later. We only let him loose when necessary. Then there's his girlfriend Rosalie. She's a prostitute. He doesn't seem to mind. I would be pissed the fuck off if my girl was on the game, but he seems oddly at ease with it. Like I said, he's not all there.

Fuckin' Looney.

Then there's my sister Alice, she's little and skinny as a God dammed rake, but don't mess with her, she'll claw your fuckin' eyes out, especially if you hurt the family.

Then there's Jasper. My other brother. He's as gay as the day is long. He thinks we don't know. Stupid twat. I hear him fucking that Paul kid in The Jockey toilets every Friday night. Right dirty fuckers they are. Those toilets are a bloody biohazard without the fudge packing thrown in.

The only person who is apparently oblivious to Jasper's Gaylord lifestyle is my dad. He is either a lot less intelligent then we think or in denial.

Ah, my dad, Carlisle, head of the family and fucking king of this estate. He takes no shit and he'll kick your arse from here to next week if he feels like it. I would do anything for the man.

My mam, well she's almost as fuckin' insane as Emmett. I've seen her take on so many drunken thugs in The Jockey and come out on top its unreal. People tend to cross to the other side of the street when they see Esme Cullen.


We own The Jockey pub, came to us when the previous land lord couldn't pay his debt. He's taking a nice vacation in intensive care; of course there was time for him to sign the deeds over to us before his trip.

My mam runs it and does a bloody good job. There's hardly any fuckin' trouble since the Cullen's took the reins. People know better than to start shit right under Esme and Carlisle C's nose.

Most people.

Some however are too stupid to care that they dance with the fucking devil when they come in here looking for a fight or shooting their mouths off to anyone who'll listen.

Case in point is welded to his bar stool, supping on pint 98373 of the week, no doubt pissing away all his benefits leaving Bells and me to take care of the little un's.

The twat.

"Give us a couple of E's, Ed please" Charlie Swan asks, fishing for change in the pocket of that filthy fuckin' coat of his. The man reeks of piss and cigarettes.

"Don't you think you should save a few quid and get a pint of milk and some bread for the kids, Charlie" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"When the government gives me enough money to take care of eight children and explore the wonders of mind altering chemicals at my leisure which is my prerogative under the Human rights act, just ask them wankers in the E…the E…..whatever the fuck it's called, then my boy. I will do all that you ask" he says with a sway and a slur.


"So in the mean time Bells can just take care of em, hey? You're a piece of fuckin' work Charlie" I say, throwing his E's down on the bar in front of him. He knocks them back with a swig of his pint and takes a drag of his cig.

The thing with this bloke is that he's a fuckin' enigma. The shit he spouts is intelligent and insightful, I think at one point, he must have had opportunities, but somewhere along the line things got fucked up and now he's this mess of a man who has never heard of a condom or a shower…..or a brush.

"I want you to drink that and get your arse home, ya hear me Charlie. I'm taking Bells out tonight and you need to be home for the little un's" I tell him, leaving no room for discussion.

"He'll be there won't ya Charles me old mucker" my dad says coming up behind him and giving him a hard 'friendly' slap on the back. His pint sloshes all over the bar, he just shrugs and lights another cigarette.


"Yeah, yeah I'll be there. You know I am not one to shirk my responsibilities, Ed" he says it like it's gospel truth. I shake my head at him.

"What the fuck do you know about responsibility you useless piece of shit?" I ask him.

"Oh, you're one to talk sunshine, six years you've been shagging my daughter and still not married her. You have a responsibility. You took her innocence" he claims. The fact he thinks Bella was a virgin when we started going out is bloody hysterical.

"It's not for the want of asking, Charlie, ya know that as well as I do" I remind him, as I dry some pint glasses off and put them away.

My dad walks behind the bar. He looks pissed right off. I don't think it's me, I would have known about it before.

"A word, son. Out back" he says, walking through the bar. Maybe it is me. Fuck.

I follow him, slinging the tea towel over my shoulder.

"What's wrong, dad?"

"Where are your brothers?" he asks, completely ignoring my question.

"Em's at Lillian's with Rose and I don't have a clue where Jazz is"

"Call them, tell them family meeting at seven, no excuses"

"Dad, you just heard me telling Charlie to be home so I can take Bell's out, you even fuckin' backed me up" I am so bloody angry at my dad for pulling this shit.

"Yeah, well that's before I just got a call from Mickey Maguire. You will be there my boy. Isabella will understand, she's a good girl" he tells me in his thick Irish lilt.

I don't argue anymore. There are two things you don't do to Carlisle Cullen. Question the good lord or disobey an order.

He'll stick a gun in your mouth and not blink an eye. I've had it done to me often enough to know the truth of those words.

He leaves me and heads upstairs to our flat above.

I pull out my mobile and call Jazz, he sounds out of breath and I don't even want to think about the shit I just interrupted.

He tells me he'll be there.

I need to call Bells, I am not looking forward to disappointing her….again, but she knows what the deal is.

I finally get round to calling her after getting Emmett to shut up about this punter of Rose's that wanted to piss all over her before fuckin' her.

Weird bastard thinks it's hilarious and even offered to hold the sicko's dick for him so he could grope Rose's breasts.

Bunch of fuckin' freaks.

I dial her number and she answers yelling at one of the kids about not throwing stones at passing cars. They're little shits, but I love them.

"Hey Cullen" she finally greets. She has never called me Ed or Edward in the entire time we've been together. I don't know why.

"Babe, I'm really sorry, but we're gonna have to put our plans for tonight on hold" I tell her and cringe. Apart from my dad, Bells is the only other person who can scare the shit out of me.

"Why. Oh, hold on let me guess. Daddy Cullen said jump and you said how bloody high" she teases coldly.


"Don't be like that, Bells. You know how shit works. You always have"

"Yeah and I also know that it's never gonna change. I'm always gonna be last in the pecking order, behind your dad and your mam and those shithead brothers of yours. Always the family first and I'd be fine with that if just once in your sorry life you would grow some balls and say no. Just for me" she rants.

I'm seething.

"Don't talk about my family that way and don't fuckin' take the piss out of me for my loyalty to them" I warn her.

She huffs into the phone "This isn't loyalty, Cullen. It's a fucking dictatorship run by a psychopathic Leprechaun!"

"You really wanna compare notes on dads, you little cow. I spent the better half of this afternoon watching yours flick his nits across me mam's bar and chucking E's down his throat like bloody Smarties" I spit.

"See all of this is exactly why I keep saying no to marrying ya. I don't want a life of wondering if I am ever going to be the most important thing in your life, or if you look down on me cause of my dad. Your mam looks down her nose at us as it is" she admits.

"Finally, I know the real reason. You lying bitch, you told me it was because of our ages not my family. Things with them will never change and my mam is just the way she is and that's never going to change, Bells"

"Well neither am I, see ya, Cullen" and she hangs up.

What the fuck just happened?

I have done nothing but be there for that cow and helped her with the kids and this is what I get for it?

One time I have to cancel our plans, so okay not one time, but she knows the deal.

Fuck her. There's plenty more birds round here to get my dick wet for me.

I walk back into the bar in a stonking mood and see Charlie still in the same spot. Not that it matters.

I glare at him because some of this fuckery is down to him and all the pressure he put's on Bell's to take care of the kids and the house. Lazy twat.

He holds his hands up in some kind of surrender when he see's me "I'm going, I'm going" and he does. I don't tell him it makes no difference because even if the bitch just dumped my ass she still deserves a break from those little bastards.

Seven pm rolls round and the entire family minus Rose who is never included in these meetings. Dad says not till she's a Cullen before the eyes of God.

Emmett is sat there in his army print coat and jeans with combat boots. His shaved head adding to his menacing height and the scar on his left cheek makes him one intimidating motherfucker.

Jazz is talking to Alice about some magazine article. They've always been close, being twins and all.

My mam is pouring us all a cup of coffee. Irish of course.

My dad looks….well I don't really know. He looks different though. Not angry, but not happy.

"I need you to all listen to me carefully" He starts in a low voice looking everyone of us in the eye "I got a call from Mickey Maguire today, an old pal from Strangeway's, Frank Denali and his boys have started selling coke on Chatsworth. He has it on good authority and I've no reason to not believe what the man says"

I listen and nod. I know why this bothers him.

"What the fuck does this have to with us though?" Emmett says as he uses a pair of stray tweezers to pluck a penis into his arm hair. I didn't know he was so creative.

"Emmett for love of all that's holy put down the tweezers and listen to the rest of what ya dad has to say" my mam says, giving the big twat a clip round the ear hole.

"We don't deal drugs dad. I thought it was going to stay that way. You and mam always said the lord might look the other way at some things but not pumping kids full of smack for money" he glares at me. He hates when I know what he's planning and when I throw god in his face.

"Don't dare question my faith in the good lord under this roof, boy" he warns me "I know you wanted no part of coke and smack dealing, Ed, but I have to think of what's good for the family. IfFrank thinks he's got a choke hold on Chatsworth through the drugs, how long till he muscles in on our other interests. The guns and the protection. We need to be pre- emptive"

"You'll start a war" Jazz pipes up.

"Maybe, but we take the risk or we lose our ground and then we're all good as dead anyway" he says, his tone harsh.

"I don't mind slipping some little shit a gram or two. As long as I get a cut of course" Emmett says like he's just offered to unclog the toilet, not sell Class A's off the street corner.

"The old bill will be on our arses within a month, dad. They have been dying for us to stick our hand into that shit, all they have to do is catch Shrek here in possession of a few grams and we've had it" I tell him and point at my dickhead brother.

"I don't like it Carlisle. We promised we would always keep drugs out of our business and away from our kids. It doesn't sit right with me. I can't go to church with a clear conscience knowing my boys are out selling coke to fourteen year olds and hard up mother's. You tell Mickey Maguire thanks for the letting you know, but the Cullen family doesn't mess with that stuff" my mam tells my dad firmly.

He sits with his fingers tented, in deep thought. He always puts a lot of stock in my mam's opinion.

Eventually he releases a long breath that reeks of whisky. "Your mother's right. We can't let the actions of those pricks change the way our family handles itself. We need to be careful and we need to be watching out. Any sign they are crossing over into our interests you tell me and we'll deal with it"

Those words filled me with anger because my dad knew as well as I did that shit was going to get ugly. Could take months, maybe years, but as some point the Denali's and the Cullen's were going to butt heads.

Jazz had been really fuckin' quiet by his standards and was off in his own little world and while we hashed this out. Emmett was always off with the fuckin' fairies. He had spent his entire teenage years tripping out on LSD and ecstasy. My parents didn't have a bloody clue, but it's done nothing to help his insane mind.

"Right, so that settles it. We do nothing till we absolutely have to" my dad said clapping his hands together and smiling.

"It's for the best" my mam said.

And that was it. Family meeting done and crisis temporarily averted.

"A word please, Ed" my dad demanded for the second fuckin' time that day.

We went into the kitchen and my dad poured himself a straight whiskey.

"Son, you and I both know that at some point there is going to be a real fucking issue between us and the Denali's, but for now we'll do as your mam says and let sleeping dogs lie. In the mean time I want you to talk to Kevin about getting your hands on some more guns for you and your brothers. When this goes down I want my boys properly protected.

"Okay, I'll take care of it" I tell him with a nod.

"Good lad" he says with a pat on the back. "I'm sorry I fucked up your night with Isabella"

I rub the back of my neck before sparking up a fag. "Yeah, well I don't think there's any danger of that being a fuckin' problem again"


"Well I'm pretty sure she canned me when I cancelled on her earlier" I say, cringing. It's the first time I've acknowledged out loud how fucked up things are with me and Bells right now. Its stings like a bitch.

"Mmm, that's a mighty shame, son. Go see her. There's nothing else to be done here tonight. That girl means the world to you and I know it as well you do" my father shocks me. I always though the man resented my relationship with Bells because I wasn't 100% focussed on being his right hand man.

I said my goodbyes and took my dad's advice and headed off to Bella's place to see if I could talk her round. I could usually get her to forgive me when I fucked up, but I had a feeling this time was going to be haard bloody work.

By the time I pulled my car up outside her house it was nine thirty and I was already fuckin' knackered. The day had been long and really fuckin' irritating.

I walked in just as I always did. Charlie didn't give a shit and I was here so much it felt more like home than my mam and dad's place.

The door opened into the kitchen, that's the way these council houses were laid out. It was empty and fuckin' filthy as usual. Bells had no bloody time to do any housework between the kids and work, and Charlie was not about to get off his lazy arse and help. And I, well I don't do cleaning.

The house was quiet and I figured everyone was either asleep or out, I walk into the front room to see if Bells is quietly watching the TV and what the fuck do I find?

Charlie Swan lay out on the couch surrounded by endless amounts of beer cans and one hand down his Y-fronts which I'm sure were white at one point and he's pumping his dick like a fuckin' maniac and grunting like the filthy fuckin' pig he is.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ, Charlie!" I yell and try really bloody hard not to gag.

He sighs and takes his hands out of kegs. "Oh, alright there our Ed, put the kettle on while you're up, there's a good lad. I could murder a cuppa" he asks me like me walking in on him having a wank is an everyday occurrence.

"In a minute. Where are the kids?"

"The little blighters are all sound asleep thank fuck. Bells went over to Kate's about half hour ago. Needed some 'girl time' what ever the fuck that means" so that's where she was.

"Right well, I'm off to get her then" I say and head back out. The lazy bastard can make his own cuppa.

I walk across the street and knock on Kate Hale's door. She answers wearing a little silky nightie and her hair his up in some scrunchie. Always a chav even in lingerie. Why the fuck is she in lingerie anyway?

"Ed, Bells is here, but I don't think she wants to see you. You're a right fucking twat sometimes you know that?" she says with a scowl.

I roll my eyes at the bitch and barge past her and run up the stairs.

I know my way round Kate's, she and I went out for a few months before I got with Bella.

I open the door and find Bells sprawled out across the bed naked with a vibrator in her hand.

What the fuck?

"What in the hell are you girls doing up here?" I ask as Kate walks in.

"Mostly each other, our Bells was stressed right out after you and her spoke earlier so I offered my help. I always know how to make her feel better, don't I Bells?" she says with a wink.

Fuck me. I knew Kate and Bells were close, but this takes the piss.

"Are you telling me you guys do this shit all the time?" I'm not sure what I want the answer to be.

"Pretty much" Bella tells me. "It's not really cheating, Cullen. She's just giving me a massage…with a happy ending"

I consider whether or not I'm pissed or turned the fuck on and I go with the latter. I'm a bloke at the end of the day and two fit girls are fucking each other and one of them happens to me my girlfriend which gives me a big fuckin' in on this fun.

"Okay I'll make you a deal. I'll forgive this insanity if you forgive me for blowing you off tonight" I am using this shit to my advantage.

"Done" Bells agrees with a smile.

"I guess we're done here for tonight then, Bells?" Kate says packing away the vibrator.

"Or….." I trail off wiggling my eyebrows at the girls.

"Are you saying you want to join us, Ed?" Kate asks with a smirk.

I look at Bells to see if she's pissed off, but she's smiling. There's my motherfucking green light. I'm hard as a rock now and I need a fucking blow or a hand job or something.

And just because Kate is always coming out with random shit at weird times she decidesto take this fuckin' moment to tell me something that could really be a huge bloody problem.

"Ed, did you know there's a rumour going round that your, Jasper is fucking that Garrett Denali"

Holy crap.

AN Thanks so much for reading and supporting Foxy fics!

WIYTO chapter 5 will be posting sometime tomorrow and Soccerward towards the end of the week. Blame the delay on me. I have been seriously ill for 10 days.