Jessica and Lauren are my favourite Twilight characters. Not kidding. So, I'll be doing a little one-shot from their Point of View. I have a better grasp on them than most Twilight characters because they're so positively normal. Even with Bella's messed-up, biased narration, they're my favourites.

I've added a couple of non-canon traits onto the two of them. There's just not enough canon traits to write a good fic about them without having to make something up or resorting to making them completely stereotypical popular girls, which is the only real thing we know about them… and that's according to Bella.


Lauren and Jessica talk about their thoughts on Bella, their plans for the weekend, and the kindness of their Angela over lunch break.

"I really don't get it," Lauren mumbled, staring at Bella Swan across the cafeteria at the Cullen table. "It's like they never left."

"It can't be healthy," Jessica agreed and took a bite of her apple. With her mouth still full, she continued to say something that was supposed to be, "She's so shallow," but didn't sound right at all.

Lauren, used to Jessica's unfortunate habit of speaking while chewing, understood perfectly. "Jess, you're doing it again."

She said something that must have meant, "Sorry." She swallowed. "I think she thinks she's so much better than us mere mortals. She's such… well, she's such a bitch, you know, for lack of a better word."

"And she thinks she's such a saint," Lauren added. Jessica took another bite of her apple, so Lauren continued. "She comes here and all the boys love her… and she acts like…" She let out a strangled groan. "Do you think all big-city girls are so self-centered?"

Jessica made a face. "If they are, I will never leave Forks."

The two sighed simultaneously.

"I still can't believe she did that to you at the movies, though," Lauren said after a moment. "I mean, how stupid can you get? And they call us blondes dumb…"

"I know," Jessica looked back over to the girl they were talking about. "Then she acts like I'm the one who was wrong because I didn't want to be friends with somebody who thinks nothing of endangering my life… or her own, for that matter."

"Did you hear her the other day? She was talking to Cullen and she was wondering if I got gum in my hair or sold it or something?" Lauren sneered. "Am I not allowed to cut my hair without being judged?" She grabbed it subconsciously. "I've had it long since I was in pre-school! I wanted a change! Who does she think she is, questioning me like that?"

Jessica patted her friend on the shoulder. "I love your cut. You look so much more mature."

Lauren was still fuming, though. "She's like a three-year-old… and she's…. she's so clingy. She has no life outside of Edward and no friends outside the Cullens. How could Chief Swan let her be so…?"

"If I were him, I'd've sent her to a therapist back when she was a living zombie. They were together for… for what, a couple of months?" She gagged. "Can we switch to a subject that doesn't make me feel sick?"

"Sounds good," Lauren said. "Where's Angela? She said she needs somebody to bail her out of a monster-movie marathon with Ben this weekend."

"Ahh, Angela." Jessica smiled. "The only person who even tries to talk to Bella anymore."

Lauren smiled. "She's just so… Angela. It's what she does. She never gives up."

"We picked a good third for our trio," Jessica agreed. "Who knew preschoolers would be such good judges of character."

"Obviously not her, though" Lauren joked, motioning to the two of them. "If she could judge character, she wouldn't choose us to be her best friends."

Jessica giggled. "Yes. The two of us, who are days away from snapping and murdering Forks in a fit of anger—"

"— and then proceeding to take over the world," Lauren finished. She let out her best evil cackle, but her best wasn't very intimidating. "Oh well," she said passively, waving it off. "We've got lots of time to work out details like that. Are you up for a shallow, boring, chick-flick?"

Jessica gagged. "I said a less sickening subject, Lauren…"

Lauren laughed. "Right. I am not spending my weekend watching Discovery Channel with you again."

"But it's Shark Week!" Jessica begged. "Please?"


"Not if I buy lots of chocolate ice-cream?"


"What're you guys talking about?" Angela said from behind them. They jumped and smiled to her. "Hey Angela, this weekend, bailing you out— what do you want to do?"

Angela paused in thought. "Well, there's a Harry Potter marathon… but I don't think you'd be into that, Lauren…"

"No," Lauren agreed.

"… but we can raid my eighties movies and watch a bunch. We can even get the guys to agree to that," Angela suggested.

"Sounds good," Jessica said. "Who would we be inviting?"

"The guys, of course, maybe a couple of the other girls…" Angela trailed off and looked towards the Cullen table longingly. "No matter what you guys say, I'm inviting Bella. I don't want to alienate her…"

Jessica and Lauren glanced at each other and pulled Angela into a hug. "You are so kind, Angie."

The girl laughed. "I love you guys, too! I know you don't really like her—"

"Understatement of the year," Lauren mumbled.

"— but I can't just not invite her."

"You're so soft, Angela," Jessica said fondly, "looking past people's flaws…"

"I wouldn't be best friends with you two if I didn't," she teased with a smile. "Misses I-talk-with-my-mouth-full," she poked Jessica, "and Misses Holds-grudges-for-too-many-things," she said with a laugh and poked Lauren.

"Yeah, you too Misses I'm-too-nice-for-my-own-good…" Lauren poked Angela back.

Angela gave one final look to Bella and sighed. "It's not like she'll come, even if I invite her. She can't make room in her schedule for anybody but the Cullens."