I was planning on making this longer, but it's become so dragged out that I had to end it. I apologize. -_-

Disclaimer: Still don't own.

Momiji was determined to get Yuki to make something edible, and have nothing else go wrong. So why the hell were they now attempting to cook chicken burgers? On a barbeque. Why the hell did the Main House even have a barbeque?

As Yuki struggled to flip the burgers, Momiji realized he'd forgotten a plate for when the burgers were done.

"I'm just going to get a plate. Will you be okay?" Momiji asked Yuki, who responded with a string of unclear profanities about why this damn barbecue was so hard to work. And why the hell did the Main House even have a barbecue? Or something like that…

Momiji just took that as a yes, and went back inside to grab a large plate. Why he left Yuki alone with food on something that could catch fire we will never know. By the time he came back, of course, the barbecue did catch fire. Momiji mentally slapped himself.

"What did I do this time?" Yuki yelled hysterically. Momiji just turned off the barbecue and let the flames subside. The boys were unharmed, but unfortunately, the burgers were not. Some seemed okay, but others were charred black on one side.

"Um… Did you forget to flip them again?" Momiji asked his cousin, examining what looked like a chicken burger on one side and a lump of charcoal on the other. Yuki hung his head.


"Well, no wonder." Momiji just sighed and started scraping off the barbecue after trying to salvage some of the food. "Lets just go inside and cut off some of the burnt parts so at least it will be partially edible."

Yuki just nodded, feeling exhausted.


Haru wandered the halls of the Main House with the container of salted cookies in hand. Though he had volunteered to take them, he had absolutely no idea what to do with them. He wasn't going to eat them, obviously. But they had to be good for something.

What to do, where to put them… Haru thought absentmindedly, trying to decide whether he should give them to someone he didn't like, or maybe leave them somewhere where no one would ever find them…Hmm… Maybe he could stack them somewhere in a cool pattern…

Inspiration struck Hatsuharu Sohma so hard he nearly fell over.

One hour later, Ritsu found a very ornate Mandela of over-salted peanut butter cookies outside his door. He was so confused, he forgot to apologize and proceeded to take a picture of the pretty design with his camera.


Back in the main kitchen, Yuki and Momiji were busy slicing off the burnt pieces of chicken. And for the same reason Momiji left Yuki alone with the barbecue, as well as cooking in general, he gave the older boy a knife. A big, sharp knife, which could easily cut many things. Including Yuki and Momiji.

But contrary to past experience, Yuki managed to not do anything extremely harmful or dangerous involving the knife. Both he and Momiji escaped unscathed after cutting off every single bit of burnt chicken.

"Yuki, do you want any sort of vegetables with your chicken?" Momiji asked, poking his head into one of the fridges, looking for some sort of vegetable that didn't take a lot of preparation.

"Sure, whatever's there," Yuki replied, actually feeling hungry. They had been cooking all day and he'd barely eaten anything.

Momiji brought out a few carrots, the easiest prepared veggie in the fridge. He washed them and gave them to Yuki to peel. After five minutes of another string of incomprehensible profanities, the carrots were peeled. For the most part.

But this time, the knife wasn't as easy to handle. Sure, it was fine cutting tender chicken, but cold, hard carrots? This was just asking for trouble as it was, letting Yuki try to slice them.

"Ouch!" Yuki cried, accidentally poking himself in the finger with the knife. It was bound to happen sooner or later. They really had been tempting fate; it was like they had left a plate of (non-salted) cookies out for it.

"Yuki! Ohmigosh are you okay?" Momiji asked, looking alarmed.

"I'm fine. It's barely even a cut. I'll just wash it and it'll be fine." Yuki walked over to the sink to rinse off his finger, which had a small bead on blood on it. But, when he left the counter, he didn't realize he knocked over the knife. On instinct, Momiji reached forward to try and catch it before it hit the floor. It clattered to the ground anyway, cutting Momiji's arm on the way down.

When the knife grazed his arm, Momiji didn't actually feel anything. It wasn't until a few seconds later when it started bleeding and realization sunk in that he started screaming.

"MyarmohmyGodthere'sbloodsomeonegetHatoriiiii!" Or at least, that was what it sounded like to Yuki.

"Oh, God, Momiji. Um, should I go get Hatori? I think he's in his office," Yuki tried to calm the younger boy down, while frantically trying to remember his first aid training. But Momiji was already running out the door, down the hall and across the courtyard to Hatori's office before Yuki could do anything. So he simply picked up the knife, washed it off and waited for Momiji to come back. No way in hell was Yuki going to try to cook alone now.

Momiji sprinted towards Hatori's office, clutching his bleeding arm. By the time he reached his destination, he was starting to feel lightheaded. He stumbled through the door, gasping for breath.

"Ha'ri my arm is bleeding! Make it stop!" he cried.

Hatori, who had been sorting through some medical records, smiled at Momiji's childish display, which now looked almost uncharacteristic on the 17-year-old's face.

"Okay, calm down Momiji, come with me." Hatori led him into the examination room. He washed and disinfected the cut, making Momiji wince at the sting.

Hatori inspected the cut while bandaging it, trying to make sense of what it was from.

"Momiji, how did you get that cut?" Hatori asked suspiciously. Momiji laughed, his arm already feeling better.

"Oh yeah! I was trying to teach Yuki to cook, but when we were chopping vegetables, we sort of had a little accident..." he grinned sheepishly at the doctor, who just gave him a weird look.

"You were trying to teach... Yuki... to cook?" He asked incredulously. Momiji nodded, making Hatori smile again. "Good luck with that," he told him, before sinking wearily into his office chair.

"Thanks!" Momiji called, turning to leave. Maybe it was his imagination, or did Hatori look… Depressed?

"Ha'ri? What's wrong? Did something happen? With Ayame maybe?" he asked, inspecting the doctor's tired face.

"How did-" Hatori started to ask, but he let the question drop.

"I'm more observant than you think," Momiji said, giving Hatori a wink. Hatori merely sighed.

"Thank you for your concern, Momiji, but I can handle myself. Anyway, you'd better get back to Yuki, before he burns the kitchen down."

"Oh no! I almost forgot! Bye Ha'ri! Feel better!" Momiji gave Hatori a quick hug before sprinting out of the office towards the kitchen.

In his haste, Momiji decided to take the other hall back to the kitchen as a shortcut. But as he rounded the corner, he crashed into Ayame, who was coming at him with equal speed.

"A-Ayame!" Momiji squeaked, picking himself up. "Um... Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, Momiji. I have to go see Hatori. Like, right now." Ayame quickly dusted Momiji off before dusting himself off and tearing off at mach 5 into Hatori's office. Momiji just stood there stunned for a moment, before rushing off again. He'd have to trust Ayame and Hatori to work out their problems themselves, as he had his own problem to handle in the form of Ayame's younger brother.

"Yuki!" Momiji burst into the kitchen, silently praying that Yuki had not done anything stupid again. His prayers were answered. Yuki was sitting quietly in a chair, reading the ingredients on a noodle bowl package. While Momiji was getting his arm treated, Yuki had busied himself trying to pronounce all the impossible names of the different preservatives.

"Momiji, are you okay?" The silver-haired boy jumped up, eyes worried.

"I'm fine. Did you do anything while I was gone?"

"No. I didn't want to have anything go wrong..."

"Great. Let's just finish cutting the carrots and eat!" Momiji picked up the knife again and quickly finished slicing the carrots. He set out what was left of their cooking attempts and the raw carrot sticks onto the counter. Yuki hesitantly started eating, before realizing he really did make something edible and polished his plate off fast.

"Thanks for everything today, Momiji, but I still don't think I'll ever be a top chef," Yuki said, smiling wearily. Momiji laughed.

"Well, if anything, you learned how to put the fires out when you cook!"

~~~~~~~~~~~... Two days later...

The knowledge of fire extinguishing did come in handy. How Yuki managed to not make sandwiches we'll never know.

OH MY GOD that took FOREVER I'm SORRY! (hee hee I sound like Ritsu.) I hope the conclusion was more satisfying for you than it was for me.