Chuck Vs the Fake Sarah.

Set between "Imported Hard Salami," and end of season one.

Oops. nearly forgot. Don't own Chuck et al.

Adult themes.


Team Bartowski walked into the courtyard. It was late. Chuck was disappointed.

"That was a waste" laments Chuck "there was nothing there."

Casey gives a number 2 grunt, and turns to go to his door.

"Good talk buddy" says to Chuck to the departing back of Casey. Chuck turns toward Sarah.

"Goodnight Chuck" smiles Sarah.

"G'night Sarah" Why does his voice do that when she smiles at him (oh, yeah, that's why). "I need, um, yeah…. To clear my e-mail."

She flashed her on/off smile. She can stop a mans breath with that. Well, one man's for certain.

Chuck turned to go home. He missed Sarah's expression.

Pain. A sad pain.

Then a neutral expression – and her eyes blink rapidly. Kind of like when Chuck 'flashes.'


Later that night;

Chuck woke with a start. There was movement in his room. The figure moved away from his computer. She steps out of her dress, revealing a figure Chuck knows with his eyes closed. She turns toward him wearing only (mismatched) bra and panties.

"Sarah!" came the cry in a hoarse whisper.

There were layers to this one word:

Hope. It is Sarah. In his room. Late at night.

Then Panic. Sarah is in his room, late at night.

And then the real panic.

"Uh, um, look Sarah, I'm not really dressed for company….."

Casey half woke up at the sound coming from the open mikes. Mentally rewinding, he heard the name Sarah, and decided to return to sleep.

Casey had heard this dream before. Several times.

Sarah was a prisoner. A passenger in her own body. She could see, feel and hear everything. She just couldn't do anything. Frantically she tried to think of anything that could have caused this… she'd needed to activate some computers in the building while on the mission earlier. Nothing but some-ones holiday snaps on one, and a collection of news clips on the other.

Surely not…..

Sarah felt herself getting closer to Chuck. He looked like a trapped kitten. The Sarah inside was screaming. Chuck, her Chuck, was scared (in danger).

She was close to Chuck now. Sarah felt her own hand moving across his chest (and fur). Then down.

Beneath his sheet.

Chuck – definitely in panic mode now – cries "Sarah"

And Sarah's hand grasps his erection though the opening of his boxers.

Silence. Time froze. Somewhere else, life continues normally. Probably. In parallel universes. Ok, in some parallel universes – there is an infinite number of them, so maybe one of them.

Time froze for an eternity

(eternity = how long ago should the bomb have gone off?)

Chuck smiles in panic. The woman of his dreams (Casey has the exact number of these dreams on file) smiles too.

Not quite the smile Chuck had dreamt.

Sarah, imprisoned within her own head, silently screams 'No! Not like this! This is My Chuck! Mine! It was supposed to be... special ... different... (perfect).'

And a tiny portion of her mind notices the contents of her hand. A little pleased. A little sorry the hand isn't squeezing hard enough.

Funnily enough, the same thought is running through Chuck's mind. The fraction of his frontal cortex that is still capably of rational thought (he was actually running on brainstem).

"Uh, um Sarah, what are... why... what are you do ... uh, what's going ... why are..."

"Just relax Chuck. Don't you want this? You have what we need."

Just about every fibre of his being is screaming YES! And from the back of his mind;

"I have what you need? Um, what exactly do you... Oh, um"

"Stop squirming Chuck" as she knelt over him, one (perfect) knee either side of his. And he thought, 'God, she's beautiful' He caught her scent, it went straight to his brain. It was her scent. Sarah.

Part of being a geek meant esoteric knowledge popped into your head at odd moments.

(Chuck didn't know it, but later, Sarah would train this out of him (or at least stop him verbalising the point of interest))

The point that did pop in was: 'People die in their sleep during a house fire, because your sense of smell is switched off when you sleep.'

'I can smell Sarah, so ... I'm awake'

And she kissed him. Surprised, he froze. Then the little caveman who lived at the back of his mind took over, and he took her in his arms and kissed back.

Chuck had only kissed (really kissed) Sarah once before. Sure there had been cover kisses, but The Kiss? They both remembered that one.

The timer display counted down to 3 seconds left. Sarah thought 'Fuck it. If it has to be now, I'm going to die with him in my arms.' That was when Chuck realised that it wasn't all one-way. That Sarah loved him. Him!

Chuck remembered All of their kisses, including the 'cover' ones. Right now, Now, Chuck realised that Sarah had ... been telling him. With every, Every kiss. That she was ... Sarah.

This wasn't Sarah.

Sarah was silently weeping. Trapped, all she could do was watch. She knew Chuck. She knew his kiss.

And then she realised Chuck knew. He was still kissing, but she knew he knew. He knew something was wrong.

And then something weird. Chuck was moving his hands down her body, over her waist, hips and thighs. And did something no one had ever done before, something she'd never associated with Chuck.

He disarmed her.

He'd taken a blade from her calf sheath. Then was (clumsily) holding it to her neck.

"Sarah? What's going on? What ... Who are you? This is not ... You're not Sarah. Not my Sarah."

The Sarah inside was glowing.

Then, Agent Walker reacted.


Casey came fully awake. The computer alarm had been triggered by the stress levels in the voices and a clear image of a weapon. Chuck's penchant for playing video games with the bearded troll had given merry hell to the NSA geeks who had set the security filters up.

Casey saw on the monitors that the moron had pulled a knife on Walker.

"Good God, he'll never survive." And then "How the hell did he disarm Walker?"

Casey moved quietly through the Morgan Door, side arm drawn in the 'instant' (mag on, action worked back, safety off) condition.

Agent Walker had the intersect pinned in a corner next to the bed. Chuck had found a horizontal 'Morgan" position. Walker was about to de-spleen him with the knife.

"Chuck, what did you do to upset Walker? Walker, you know you don't have clearance to be here now."

Casey knew intellectually Sarah was attractive. This was the first time she looked ugly.

(Casey just wasn't interested in her. They were professionals. Relationships got you hurt. Or dead. Walker knew that. Besides, everyone knew how she felt towards Bartowski. Probably even the moron himself)

Her new look gave him pause.

"What's going on Walker?"

"It's not Sarah!" cried Chuck "I know this sounds crazy, but That is Not Sarah!"

Growl. "Walker?" Casey advanced, keeping out of immediate knife distance. Side arm aimed at Sarah.

At that moment, the screen of Chuck's computer changed. The words 'failed – parameters exceeded – sequence terminated" appeared, followed by a rapid sequence of images (like a mix of holiday and news photos).

For about three minutes Sarah stood frozen, staring at the screen. Chuck scrabbled to safety. Casey kept Sarah under cover. Several times Casey growled questions to either party. Chuck shushed him each time. He was studying both Sarah and the screen. Then the knife fell from her fingers, the screen stopped.

And Sarah collapsed like a puppet with the strings cut.

And Chuck's computer began to smoke.

Chuck's first instinct was to rush to her. Casey tried to stop him.

"It's alright. It's alright. I think." As he knelt beside Sarah, resting her head in his hands. "Casey, hand me the... something to cover her with, please. Hey there" he turned his attention to Sarah "It's alright now. It's over. I think." as he covered her with the bed sheet Casey offered.

The two maintain eye contact. Both wishing for telepathy right now (and not for the first time). He moves a wisp of blond hair from her face. Without breaking eye contact, he says "Casey? We spit up during the mission. Remember?"

Grunt (a number 4)

"I think Sarah got hit with a subliminal virus ... like an evil intersect. One that turns you into a ... a puppet."

"You mean she's an intersect?"

"No. The program's nowhere long enough. No, it's probably got elements of it from the original program. This was different. Probably an earlier attempt. Anyway, I think it's gone now."

"It's gone." Says Sarah. Her hand drifts of its own accord, weightless, pulled into the gravity well of Chuck's face. Then she pulled it back. Professional, remember?

"How do you feel?" Chuck asks Sarah.

She started to get up "Ok. It's like I could see and hear everything, I just wasn't doing ... I mean, it wasn't me" she said to Chuck "um, I'm sorry about the... you know ... um, squeeze."

Chuck mumbles "Oh, that alright, it was, um ... Sarah, forget it."

Sarah turns to Casey, so Chuck won't see the pain in her face "Thanks Casey."

"How do I know everything is normal?" asks Casey. Everyone thinks furiously. Chuck and Sarah come to the same idea. They turn to face each other.

"Chuck? When I was, I mean the ... When we kissed, just now. How did you know?"

"Um," chuck glances at Casey, then back to Sarah, and in a quiet voice says "I know, Sarah. (I've always known) Remember when we thought the timer was ... for a bomb?"

"Uh-huh."

He took both her hands in his, and they locked eyes.

"I knew."

Sarah let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. And beamed at him. Chuck continued:

"You were telling me. I felt it too. Every kiss, even before that – and since. There's a ..." the word was 'hunger" but he couldn't say it. Not here, not now. "You were ... Sarah, it's you. I know it's you."

"So now what?" growls Casey.

"I have an idea" says Chuck, a heartbeat before Sarah. "Kiss me!"

Grunt (probably a number one, but Chuck really didn't care).

"I have to be sure" Chuck glances at Casey "We have to ... be sure" he says to Sarah.

The kiss is tentative, unsure at first. Then they both feel the (oh, let's use Chuck's lost word – 'hunger') safety, and the kiss last longer than really needed. They rest, gasping, with foreheads touching. "Um, OK, you're you" and very quietly "My you."

Again, Sarah found she'd forgotten to breath.

Grunt. Definitely a number one.

Sarah whispers "Uh, about the squeeze..."

"Look, don't worry. It was ... nothing, really" he shudders

"Well, not ... nothing..." she says looking up into his eyes, with an unsaid message.

"So. You need clearance to be in here?" he asks Sarah.

"Uh, yeah. 'Bout that. Maybe we need to have that looked into"

Number four grunt. "Yeah, that's gunna happen."


A.N. This was my first attempt. I have lowered the filter after realising I was setting way too high. I've cleaned up the structure a little. Thanks for the reviews. Hadn't realised how chuffed it feels to realise that people read (and hopefully like) my words.