I felt like I had been stung…like someone had just stunned me in the chest….like my heart was ripped out and thrown to the dogs. I rolled over on my side and began to sob silently. I was at fault here, not Anthony…I have done nothing but play with his emotions…shit I was a bitch. I continued to shake with sobs, when I felt a hand on my shoulder, expecting Anthony to ask me to quit my blubbering I turned at the touch. Anthony was fast asleep next to me…the touch had come from Harry Potter standing at the foot of our bed.
I had to control the sudden urge to cry. What the bloody hell was he doing here? Harry motioned for me to follow him…and of course I obliged. He led me into the living room where we had had the party earlier. It was an utter disaster zone…something to worry about in the morning I supposed.
Harry sat on one of the worn couches and I followed his suit, still unsure of the situation. I half wanted to just tell Harry to shove it and crawl back into bed with Anthony…then I remembered our fight…
"Charlotte…I…I kinda just wanted to talk to you," said Harry, scratching his neck.
I looked at him in a sarcastic fashion, "Ohh really? That's why you asked me out here?"
He laughed nervously, "Yeah, I sort of wanted to ask you if you really meant you were still in love with me?"
I considered the question and knew it was useless to lie, "Well my face isn't bright red now is it? So I was obviously telling the truth, as much as I hate to admit it…"
"Then why not ditch Anthony and come back to me? We're perfect for each other, I miss you and I love you too! I mean it just makes sense!" pleaded Harry.
I scoffed at his suggestion, "And just forget that you cheated on me? That you left me alone with no idea where you were or if we were still together? I may be with Anthony, but even if we break up Harry…I don't know if you and I is a good idea…anymore."
He replied heatedly, "You don't love Anthony! I watch you together and it's just…not right! It's awkward, it's not REAL. What you and I had was REAL and I fucked it up. I admit it, I messed up the most REAL thing I had in my life…and now what do I have? Nothing, because I want you…you're everything to me." He crashed his lips against mine, trying desperately to stir me into a frenzy…I tried to resist but failed miserably.
I didn't know what to say to his explanation, I tried to keep back the tears…but it was impossible, I succumbed to the urge to let out all that I had been feeling, and with tears streaming down my face I spoke, "You have…n-no idea how terrible that year was without you. And here I find my worst fears were confirmed…and you had cheated on me Harry! What kind of girl would I be if I went back with you? I want you to know that I have been fighting the urge like none other to come running back to you with open arms and allowing things to return to the way it used to be. I have been fighting it with all my strength for the past WEEK. Give me some damn time Harry…I can't forgive you for tearing out my heart like that. I'm sorry but I can't! I don't even deserve to be with someone like Anthony, he is so much better than I am…I'm just hurting him by being with him and I HATE myself for it. It's my own fault…for not being able to let you go. I'm trying and you are making it DAMN hard for me to stop loving you. Leave me the hell alone Harry and if I decide that you…that you…If I decide you can have me again then Happy Christmas…I am done for now Harry…done."
"Charlotte…I'm so sorry…I know…I know I've acted like a total prat and I don't deserve you…just please think about it…give me a second chance…please," cried Harry looking quite pathetic in my opinion.
"I'm with Anthony now…if he still even wants me. I am trying to give myself the happiness I lost because of you. If he's no longer happy with me after tonight I'll let him go, he doesn't deserve me if I can't even love him with my whole heart. Leave me alone Harry, maybe someday we can work things out…but for now…we're just Quidditch rivals and nothing more," I surprised myself by walking away without a backward glance.
I ran blindly back into my room and wanted nothing more but for Sarah to come and tell me everything was going to be alright. That'd I'd find happiness…someday and that Harry was an insufferable prat who deserved no one as good as me. I began to shake with sobs, and tried controlling them…however it proved impossible. Anthony was restless next to me, and I couldn't be sure if he was awake or just having a terrible night's sleep after consuming copious amounts of alcohol.
Gradually, my sobs subsided and sleep began to take over my body. Before I knew it, I was in dreamland…and though it was a sanctuary from the real world, all my dreams revolved around Harry Potter and Anthony Goldstein…surprise surprise…I wonder what my subconscious was thinking…all the goddamn time?
During a particular awful dream in which all my friends abandoned me and I was forced to watch Harry and Ginny live a happy life together; I was woken up rather abruptly.
Sarah bounded onto my bed and was shaking me vigorously. She had a wild, crazed look about her, "Charlotte Ann Shenwick. What the fuck happened last night?"
"You…you snogged Terry Boot…and I assume you slept in the same bed with him also?" I asked, not fully awake yet, with a lurching feeling in my stomach that was not entirely due to the hangover I so terribly had. I noticed that Anthony had left sometime in the morning, without as much as a word.
"Yes…I…don't know what I was on! Did you slip me something? Because that would explain all of my terrible decisions last night. I, of course, am not that much of a skank to sleep with him, but I am fairly certain we got to at least second base, rounding the corner to third…if I hadn't gotten sick…who knows what the bloody hell would have happened! Ohh, here take this, you'll feel better," Sarah handed me a glass of steaming purple liquid.
I drank it readily, loving the feeling of the hangover being magically wiped away. However, the terrible feeling in my stomach persisted. Sarah continued," So you and Anthony? Did you get it on? Because I noticed something was a bit off when you two went to bed together."
I told her everything that had transpired between both Anthony and I and then Harry and I. Reliving the night was like taking a stunning hex to the stomach. However, after I had told her everything and all my feelings and troubles were off my chest I began to feel better, "I don't know what to do Sarah."
"Yes you do. What do you want Charlotte?"
"I…I think…I know…I want Anthony. I want to date him, for real and see how it all turns out. I think we could be happy together…if he'll even…he knows I still love Harry, hell the entire school knows I still love Harry…I don't want him to play the fool."
"You have to let go eventually Charlotte, so do it. Take a chance," replied Sarah lying on the bed next to me.
I rolled onto my side and looked at her, "Then will you do the same? Don't get angry at me Sarah…but I think that you and Terry would go the distance. I think that he is your chance at love. I know you two pretend to despise each other but…I think deep down you both know you're meant to be."
She let a tear fall down her cheek as she looked into my bloodshot eyes, "You…you think? I-I'm no good with long term things Char…I'm not as strong as you. I'll think about it, ok? I truly will Char."
I sat up and threw my arms around her hugging her tightly, "Sarah, I'd be lost without you."
We sat there hugging and crying for quite some time until someone at the door cleared their throat and walked into the room, "Ahh...Ladies…if I'd have known you'd be in a touchy feely kind of mood I'd have been in here much sooner!" Terry threw himself on the bed leaning his head on Sarah's knee, "So…can I join?"
"Fat chance, Ter. Come on Char, let's get to cleaning," said Sarah jerking her knee away quickly, causing Terry's head to come crashing onto the rather hard mattress. He rubbed his head, "Nah, don't worry about it. Anthony and I got up early and did it all. We noticed you two girls were in a right state, but good party overall I'd say."
Sarah and I gave each other a significant look and I asked Terry rather cautiously, "Umm, Terry, is…is Anthony still around?"
"Nah, sorry mate, he left maybe two hours ago. Didn't want to wake you, but I think he wants to talk to you a bit…listen…go easy on him alright? He has always bloody loved you and even agreed to this fake boyfriend bollocks. So try to be gentle to preserve your friendship," explained Terry, trying desperately not to meet my eye.
"I don't think I really want to break up with him…I mean we aren't really together…but I-I think I kind of want to be with him for real this time…and see how it works out," I tried to sound confident in my decision but I was still rather uneasy.
Terry nodded, "Just don't mess with his mind mate; he'd do anything for you."
We didn't waste any time in getting out of the house. I wanted nothing more than to retire to my corner in the library and read. I was weird that way…it happens. Luckily, the three of us made it back to the common room without anyone noticing we had spent the night elsewhere. The common room was almost empty, only a few individuals sat at tables with either friends or homework. It was such a beautiful day that I decided to head outside and finish some homework. I figured that fresh air would do me well. Sarah, on the other hand, refused to do anything productive and decided to go back to sleep when we reached our dormitory.
I would usually go and fetch Anthony and we would have a study session together…but I decided to leave him alone for the time being. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed outside. My favorite tree, a large willow, rested next to the lake. It was rather set away from the other students who were chatting, flying, or using their soon to be confiscated fanged Frisbees. I spread out my multitude of books and parchment and set to work. Thank Merlin that homework could manage to take my mind off even the most horrible situations.
I worked, calculated, concluded, and summarized until it was too dark out to see the parchment in front of me. Luckily, I had finished so much I only had an essay in Herbology, one of my favorite classes, to finish. I decided to head into dinner, since it was already well past 6 o'clock. Sarah seemed to have dragged herself out of bed a moment before I had entered the Great Hall and was also there for some dinner.
We sat down in the middle of the table and realized exactly how extremely hungry we were. A steak, some potatoes, and a treacle tart later and we were both famished. I slung my backpack on my shoulder once again and followed Sarah to our dormitory, "So how was your nap your Highness?"
"Marvelous, of course. I do not know how you managed to remain productive all day with the night we had!" replied Sarah shaking her head in disbelief.
"I wouldn't have been able to sleep…I don't even know if I'll manage it tonight if I don't clear things up with Anthony. Have you seen him around at all?"
"I woke up just before I came down to dinner and he wasn't in the common room. I assumed he was with you to be honest. Don't worry Char, you guys are going to work it out, you'll be just fine," said Sarah pushing open the common room door. I looked around the room and didn't see Anthony or Terry. I felt a wave of exhaustion hit my body, and though it was only seven o'clock I retired to the dormitory whilst Sarah began to do some homework.
I lay in my bed for hours, worrying about last night's events. I heard Sarah enter the dorm somewhere around midnight. Pretending to be asleep, I waited until her breathing was heavy…which didn't happen until almost one o'clock, before exiting my bed and making my way to the common room. I had every intention of forcing Anthony to listen to my profuse apology and to insist I would understand if he never wished to speak to me again. The common room was, of course, deserted. I ran up to the boy's dormitory and found Anthony lying on his bed…wide awake.
He jumped when he saw me enter the room, and then looked extremely apprehensive. He moved aside in the bed and motioned for me to crawl in with him. I slid my body in his sheets and looked at him wondering what he was thinking. I began in hushed tones, "Anthony…I- I am so-"
He cut me off, "No, Charlotte…I...uh…I am so sorry for the way I spoke to you last night. It was bang out of order."
"No, I deserved it. I never considered your feeling when I asked you to be my… boyfriend."
"I knew what I was getting myself into Char. I just never intended the entire school find out you were still in love with Harry Potter while you were dating me. I mean…how would I look to everyone? Like a right prat for keeping you and Harry apart and an idiot for even dating you in the first place. If it wasn't for Cho Chang, asking you that question…we'd be fine…but I…I think this is getting to be a bit too much when my reputation is at stake here," whispered Anthony not meeting my eye.
"I understand completely Anthony. I really do and…and if you don't want to be around me as much anymore…I wouldn't be upset."
"Really? 'cuz I sure as hell would. If…if our relationship was real in the first place then I'd say to hell with whatever everyone else is thinking. But it's not…and I can't pretend anymore."
I fidgeted on the bed, "What if…what if I wished it was real. Kissing you. Touching you. Just being with you feels…right. I could see myself falling for you harder than I ever fell for Harry Potter. And I have kept on pushing these feelings back because…I don't want to lose you as a friend. But what we have…what we can have…I think it'd be worth the risk."
His eyes flicked upwards and stared deeply into mine. I was unsure of what he was thinking or what he wanted. I continued, "Its...its up to you though. I completely understand if you don't want to…to take the risk. We can forget we ever had this conversation, I mean I-"
Suddenly his lips crashed down onto my own, both pairs moving freely. Our bodies pressed up against each other as his tongue snaked its way into my mouth. His hands caressed my sides, back, and stomach and I arched my back in pleasure. After an undefined amount of time we broke apart. I smiled at him, "Um...so I think I'll take that as a yes?"
He grinned and dived under the covers, lifting my shirt and kissing my stomach…moving up to my arms…covering my neck in soft tender kisses, and then to my mouth where he pressed his lips down in the most tender, romantic fashion and then looked into my eyes, "I think that would be a safe assumption."
I couldn't stop smiling and though tiredness was overtaking my body I was elated. I snuggled next to him in his covers, breathing in his scent and sighing in delight. It was a while before we fell asleep into each other's arms…both too happy…to even care about a thing as absurd as sleep. Tonight was perfect. Tonight was, perhaps, the first night of forever.
Thanks for reading the chapter guys! Hope you enjoyed! More to come! I'm busy with the last few days of work before I move back into school, but I'll try to pop out another chapter before I head back to school work!