Suit vs. Jacket
Rating: PG-13 for language and suggestiveness
Summary: The two skirt chasers compete in the ultimate and vulgar conquest contest!
Ch. 1 New Man in Town
Barney Stinson strolled into MacClaren's Pub on a Friday night in his dark blue pinstripe Armani suit and impeccably matched shirt and tie. He flashed a confident, charming smile as the pub was packed with an assortment of young and hot ladies drowning their dateless sorrows in an abundance of fruity cocktails. He glanced at his watch and widened his smile. It was early and there were plenty of ladies in the pub. He scoped his sights over the bar and saw two very attractive brunettes sitting on opposite sides. He shifted his eyes over them for several minutes.
"Hmm, eight o'clock and nine o' clock...oh who am I kidding, eight o'clock and ten fifteen!"
Barney chuckled as he set his sights on a blonde girl in a delicious red dress sitting in a booth all by herself.
"Well, well," he said as he sauntered through the pub.
As he met the blonde girl's eyes, he flashed a smirk as he slipped into the seat across from her.
"Eating alone? That should be such a crime for a gorgeous gal like you."
"Um, actually, I'm not eating alone, I have company but he's in the bathroom right now."
Barney threw his arms back along the booth, completely undaunted by her veiled rejection. He had heard the old 'friend in the bathroom' excuse before from the ladies but he never let that deter him. It just presented more of a challenge for him to dial up his charm and in the end, if that "friend" existed and was hot, well hey, more fun for him anyway.
Dean picked up his beer from the bar and the way back from the men's room. He weaved through a thick throng of ladies, flashing his winning smile until he spotted his seat at the corner booth occupied, by someone very familiar, someone very ANNOYING. He shook his head as he spilled out of the crowd and ambled up to the table.
"You're in my seat - Stencil," he barked.
Barney glanced at the blonde before slowly shifting his eyes to the guy at the table. His charming smile faded in a flash and shifted into a glare of disgust.
"Winchester," Barney growled.
Barney glanced over Dean and blinked several times in astonishment, almost thinking he had been thrown back in time. Except for having a lighter shade of blonde hair, Winchester looked exactly the same in his worn denim jeans, a faded tee shirt beneath a – good god – flannel shirt from one of those filthy second hand stores and a weather beaten brown leather jacket. He shuddered for several minutes before he noticed Dean glaring disapprovingly at him. He shot to his feet and glared deeply at Dean as he edged out of the booth.
Dean briefly looked over Barney, still wearing those lame designer suits that made him feel like a man. He shook his head again as he waved Barney away.
"Beat it Stencil, take the loss and move on."
Dean flashed a smug smile before he took a sip from his beer. Barney gulped down his frazzled nerves as he noticed several groups of ladies checking Winchester out.
"What are you doing in New York?"
Dean deepened his smug smile.
"Why? You scared the girls in this town are going to find out what a REAL man is and not the fallacy you hide behind that stupid suit? Just like I showed them at those bars in Chicago and Michigan AND Miami," he boasted, widening his smug smile even more.
Barney blew out fumes through his nostrils as he edged closer to Dean.
"This is my town Winchester."
"It's New York, it's everyone's town and I'm throwing a welcoming party starting with her. So, scoot your Suit out of here and let me educate the ladies."
Dean pushed passed Barney and slipped back in the booth. Barney balked in offense as Dean smiled at the blonde across from him. After a minute, Dean shot his eyes up to Barney and glared at him with annoyance.
"You need something Stencil?"
Barney cleared his throat and straightened his tie as he backed away from the table. He swung around and met the sparkling eyes of a luscious lady with strawberry blonde hair staring at him from a small two top table. He flashed a charming smile and sauntered confidently over to her table.
"Hey there pretty lady. I saw you looking at me, you like what you see in this very expensive designer suit?"
The strawberry blonde smiled.
"Um, who's your friend?"
Barney stared at her as she shifted her eyes over his shoulder. As his stomach turned into knots, he twisted around to see Dean still chatting up the blonde.
"Is that his date?"
"What? Oh no, no, he isn't into dating girls, he just wants to see them from the inside out if you know what I mean, you wouldn't like him, he's a total selfish jerk, I mean look at him in those filthy rags he calls clothes. A nice down to earth girl like you would just get her heart smashed."
The girl widened her smile as her eyes sparked.
"Well, I'm not looking to date anyone right now. I'm kind of in need of a distraction from this bad relationship I just got out of and well, THAT is a mighty distraction."
Barney stamped down the disgust in his throat as Dean caught the girl looking at him. She smiled and slipped out of her seat.
"Excuse me," she said.
Barney opened his mouth and watched as the girl skipped over to the table. After a few minutes, Dean eyed the girl then the blonde across from him before he made a comment. The two girls eyed each other for a long minute as Barney blinked with recognition. He widened his eyes as anxiety gripped his throat when the two girls shrugged.
"No, no, not the double play!" he cried softly.
Dean jumped out of the booth as the two girls hung on him. He caught Barney staring and smiled smugly at him. He paused by Barney and leaned toward him.
"Told you Stencil," he whispered. "Jacket beats Suit, every time, no matter what city you're in I'm always going to kick – your – ass."
Dean chuckled as he tugged the two girls out of the pub. Barney scoffed loudly as Marshall and Lily wandered in to see the animosity on his face.
"What's up Barney?" Marshall asked.
"Who are you spitting fire at?" Lily asked.
Barney stewed in his resentment as he stared outside the window where Winchester was groping his two dates. Barney widened his eyes in fury as Winchester caught him staring and threw a cocky smile at him before steering his attention back to the ladies.
Marshall and Lily followed Barney's sights.
"Who is that?" Lily asked.
Barney clenched his jaw and shot an ireful look out the window as Dean strolled away with his two ladies.
"Jacket," Barney grumbled.