Hey, Hatori's Snowdrop Princess here.
Disclaimer: All of the characters and original story belong to Ai Yazawa-sensei.
Full Summary: *Spoiler Alert* takes place after chapter 77. Nana is getting emails… from Ren. He's inviting her to join him because this new world is so beautiful. Will love transcend the supernatural and unite them or will Nana break? Read and review.
Inbox (1): Hey, Nana
Nana Osaki sat staring at the ocean, debating with herself. The waves crashed on the sand, like they were inviting her to come in and take a swim.
Ren… She looked down at her wrist. Wound around it on a leather cord was the last thing Ren ever held. One lonely guitar pick in his perfect, beautiful hands. Never again would he use it to strum his stiffening guitar strings or would he pick up his bass and play for a crowd that adored him. Never again would his music greet her at the door as he sat on the couch and smile as she walked in.
Hey, Ren… The day your car crashed into that place… That place we used to share and forget about our loneliness… My life crashed with you. You said you'd take me with you and yet… Here I am. She pulled out a cigarette, Seven Stars and lit it. As she exhaled in a sigh the smoke swirled around in the air before her. She could feel the tears fall as she smelled him. The smell of cigarettes on his clothes as he pulled her close to her in an embrace she could never feel again. She buried her head in her knees and let the coldness of the winter air engulf her until she could feel nothing.
I couldn't even see your face. Just like that… You were gone. She stood up, wiping her tears with her icy hands. "…I'm sorry…" she whimpered. She shook her head. Louder. So he can hear me, so the whole world can hear me. Her face became more determined. "I'm sorry!" she shouted at the ocean, at the gulls. The birds ignored her, but the wind heard her.
It spoke to her. "Nana." She looked around, confused and angry. It was Ren's voice, clear as a pin dropping in a silent room with tile floors. She spun around.
"Ren?" she called. No one answered this time. I'm losing it. She gripped her hair in her hands and screamed in frustration. "Why? Why would you do this to me? Damn it all!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Her shouts became sobs and she fell to the ground again. "When am I going to stop feeling this way? When will this damn nightmare end?"
A black car with tinted windows pulled up alongside the boardwalk. Nana felt him before he came and draped his coat around her shoulders. "Nana, it's time to go," Yasu said softly, putting his arm around her shoulders.
She sniffled and walked with him to the car. "I haven't seen you since…" Flashes of memories from Ren's funeral made her shudder.
"I know, I'm sorry. I've been busy," Yasu replied, keeping himself as cool as he possibly could.
He spared Nana a glance. She was truly a wreck and broken inside to a point where Yasu thought he couldn't fix her. Not this time. The truth was Yasu could never truly help her. How can I help you when I can't help myself? Ren… Look at Nana. I can't take care of her this time. What am I supposed to do? I couldn't even take care of you…
Nana looked at Yasu. "Yasu, I think I'm going to be going away," she said, sounding more sure than she felt.
Yasu raised a brow. "Where are you going?" he asked, afraid of her answer.
She looked out the window at the snow covered landscape and sighed, thinking. "I don't know," she said after a long silence. "I just have to get out of here. I'm suffocating." She waited for his reaction, hoping secretly in her heart that he would stop her. That he would magically heal this deep seated wound, like he always did. Minutes went by and still he said nothing, trapped in his own head, not really processing what she had just said.
The apartment came into view and Nana waited for instructions from Yasu. Anything. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said and unlocked the door.
She felt the urge to cry and to scream at Yasu to help her, but she swallowed it all. "Yeah. Thanks for coming to get me." Nana got out of the car and walked into the building, up to apartment 707.
Yasu drove away and once he came to a stoplight he stared at it. "Dammit!" he shouted and banged the steering wheel. He drove back to the dorms to find Nobu in the common room with Yuri.
"Hey, how was Nana? Is being away from the dorms helping her?" Nobu asked as Yasu sat down with a beer and took out his cigarettes.
Yuri felt a heaviness in the room that made her uncomfortable. She yawned wide and loud, "Hey, I think I'll go to bed."
"Huh?" Nobu looked up. "Uh, okay. Good night."
She bent down and kissed him before walking out of the room. Everything was different now. There was no more time for light-hearted fun. No time to just fool around. Yuri peaked back in the room as the two sat in silence. Nobu was hurting, but she couldn't do anything for him and her insecurities came flowing back. Feeling vulnerable, she finally really left.
In the room, Yasu folded his heads after leaning his cigarette on the ash tray. "She's not getting any better. She told me that she's going to go away."
Nobu looked up, alerted by the awful thought that he just had to ask, "She's not going to follow Ren, right?" His hands were shaking as he waited for Yasu to answer.
Yasu tensed up and gave it serious thought, "I don't know. Anything can happen at this point."
Nana sat alone in the apartment. There was a note on the table:
I'll be over as soon as I finish making Takumi's dinner. If you're hungry I brought you some of the pasta I made along with a Jackson burger. I wasn't sure what you would want and I know that the burgers always cheer me up.
P.S I'll bring a strawberry cake for us to eat tonight!
Nana ignored the note and the food. Lately, she didn't want anything. Her phone buzzed in her jacket pocket and she pulled it out. It must be Hachi saying that Takumi is running late and she'll be late too. That ass. The little envelope icon on her phone had a 1 in the middle of it. She opened the email and dropped the phone in shock.
With wide eyes she read the message.
To: Nana Osaki
From: Ren Honjo
Hey, how are you doing? I'm sorry for not coming to you right away. I thought I had time to do some stuff for Trapnest. Heh, I was wrong. Everything here is fine. It's so beautiful. I think you'd really like it here. I didn't get to say it one last time, but I have to tell you. I love you.
Thinking of You
Nana read the message over and over again. What the hell? She looked around the room. This has got to be some kind of sick joke! This can't be real. It can't be! She stared at the phone as the backlight faded. It can't be Ren. It just can't. Numbness came first, then fear. She grabbed the phone and scrolled through the contact list, selecting Hachi. She picked up on the third ring.
"Hey, Nana. I was just about to come over. What's up?" Hachi asked, sounding happy and bubbly as usual. She had tried to keep things light after Ren's death.
"Did that ass of a husband of yours keep anything that belonged with Ren. Like… his cell phone?" she asked, trying not to sound as panicked as she felt.
"Cell phone? Takumi said that his phone was destroyed. They couldn't even retrieve any information from it," Hachi replied, thinking about it carefully. She was worried about Nana and was careful around the subject of Ren. After a second she added, "But, I'll call him now, just to make sure if you want."
"No," Nana responded. "Don't ask him."
After a minute, Hachi said, "So, I'll see you soon. I'm leaving now."
"Okay," she said and hung up.
Ren's phone was destroyed… Then… It's not a joke. Even if someone pretended to be Ren they wouldn't have the same number as him, right? She looked at the email again and selected reply.
To: Ren Honjo
From: Nana Osaki
RE: Subject: Hey
Is it really you? Where the hell are you? If this is some kind of prank I'll kill you!
She hesitated and kept her finger just above the send button. Everything was a deafening silence. The only thing that broke her out of it was a knock on the door. She jumped, accidentally pressing 'send'. She stared at what she'd done. "Wait, no!" she shouted at it and her heart dropped as the 'Message Sent' screen popped up and disappeared.
Hey, thanks for reading. Let me know what you think. These chapters will most likely remain short like this one was. Read and review! No flames, please. ~Hatori's Snowdrop Princess