"I cannot do this anymore!" edward roared, his face contorted in rage. "Son, if you would just-" "No I cannot! I cannot walk amongst them, when I know I am just a COLD BLOODED KILLER! A MONSTER!" "You aren't a monster! you are my son!" "Why would anyone be proud of a son like me?" he said it quietly, but we could both hear it. "I am!" if I could cry now, i would, but instead I just ended up in tearless sobs. Carlisle put his arm around me, his face blank. I did not know if it was because he was in shock or because he had not accepted the fact Edward wanted to leave. Edward was his son, and he had known him longer then i had, this must have been a huge blow to him. Edward must have thought of that too, as his eyes flickered to Carlisle's face. His face softened alittle, then turned hard again. He stepped forward, and embraced me, before nodding to Carlisle and climbing out the window. I started to run after him, but carlisle caught me in his arms, refusing to let go. I watched as my son, my only child, ran off into the forest.
After Edward ran out of sight, Carlisle let go of me. i collapsed onto the floor, dry sobbing. I had tried my best to make him happy, to make him content, to be the best mother to him I could be. Though he was not my real son, and he was actually older then me in vampire years, he was still a child in my eyes. how could this have happened? I remember a few days ago, he was perfectly fine. when did it become too much to handle? when did he become so self reproaching, until he hated himself to such an extent? what sort of mother was I, if I couldnt even comfort him then, held him, and told him it was going to be okay? but now he was long gone. And it was my fault, all my fault.
"Esme.."Carlisle knelt down beside me and used his finger to brush away an invisible tear. "Why? why carlisle? why didn't you let me stop him?" he held me close, and sighed. "I know you love him, Esme, but you need to realise Edward needs this. He needs this time alone to do some self reflection. it would be good for him, and his well being. you understand that, right dear?" I nodded. yes, i did understand, but that did not heal the pain in my heart. "Do you think we will ever see him again?" I whispered, lifting my face to look into his sorching golden eyes. We can only hope."