Disclaimer: Last time I checked I am not J.K. Rowling, so therefore, I own nothing!
A/N: Hello! So this idea has been bugging me to no end, so here it is. I would love for some constructive criticism because this is my first FanFiction and I don't have much confidence in my writing, enough of my talking, onto the story!
He was walking down a corridor, it felt strange and yet, all too familiar. The corridor was dim, shadows jumped out at him making him tense. He was lost, Why was he here? Where was he? What was waiting for him at the end of this corridor? And where are Ron and Hermione? These questions were invading his mind, keeping him immersed in his thoughts.
Harry Potter stopped short at the sound of voices; people, there were people inside the house with him. Harry instinctively reached his hand in his pocket for his wand, but it wasn't in his pocket, he was left completely defenseless.
He searched around quickly for a place to hide from the people in the house, most likely Death Eaters, but there was nowhere. He ran as quickly and silently as he could, into the nearest shadow on the wall and quietly inched his way towards the end, being careful to stay in the shadows.
As Harry neared the end he could tell a little more about the people the voices matched. There was a man and a woman talking, only two people but how many more could be with them. The woman, he could tell, was an adult and, as she laughed, he had the distant thought of tinkling bells cross his mind. The man was also an adult, and had a strong but pleasant sort of voice.
While Harry stood there hearing these two people talk, he couldn't help but feel as if they were familiar to him somehow, with that feeling still inside him he tensed himself and readying his mind for any attack he turned to corner into the room. He swept his gaze across the room and when he landed on the two people in there his body went numb, all thoughts of a fight leaving his mind.
The two people sitting there were staring at him with looks of hunger, sadness, and glee on their faces. No! Harry thought, it can't be them, they're dead! They're Death Eater's in disguise, their trying to get you to let your guard down, to- to kill you! That's it they're trying to kill you! But he knew he was lying to himself. Somehow, somewhere deep inside himself, he knew it was them.
It seemed like an eternity had passed until he finally croaked out two words and even he didn't realize his own voice: "M-mum?" the woman nodded, her auburn hair shining in the light. "Da-dad" the man smiled widely before nodding, his glasses casting reflections on the wall. He felt himself slip to the floor and looked at his hands. They we're shaking, not only them, but he realized his whole body was trembling uncontrollably. Harry put his head in his hands and took several deep breaths to try and calm himself but to no avail; whatever he did he couldn't shake the shock that came with seeing his parents alive. Then realization hit him like a truck leaving him breathless. His parents were alive, they were here sitting in front of him, they weren't Death Eaters and he knew it, he just knew it. Slowly, Harry lifted his head out of his still trembling hands and focused his gazed on the people in front of him.
He saw tears of joy in Lily Potters eyes, her eyes, they were so much like his, and yet so different. They held all the happiness Harry never had, and yet they held the hurt Harry always felt. Harry shifted his eyes to his dad. James had a wide, goofy grin on his face that seemed almost contagious. Harry felt his mouth curving upward into a smile that he thought mirrored his father's, like most of his features.
Seeing Harry's grin form on his face only lit James eyes up even more than Harry thought possible. Harry refocused his eyes on both of his parents and found that a small smile had formed on Lily's face while James and Harry had their silent exchange.
"Harry." His mum- his mum – whispered. Harry focused all of his attention on her as he heard his name being called in that soft, motherly voice that he never had directed at him. Harry got up and walked over, as if in a trance, to a big stuffed arm chair that strongly reminded him of the ones in the Gryffindor common room. When he sat down he looked at the couple sitting across from him and wanted to do nothing more than run up to them and hug them like he was 8 again, something he never got the chance to do. There will be time for that later a voice inside of his head said, and he trusted it, he knew he would get his chance, but now wasn't the time. There were questions in the back of his mind bugging him, which he needed to get out.
"Where-where am I?" he asked hesitantly.
James chuckled and Lily smiled. "Harry," James started, "where do you think you are, think really hard. You already know the answer son."
Harry smiled at the word 'son', another first to add to the list growing inside his head. He looked at the room around him, beginning to mentally narrow the results of places he's been. Defiantly not Aunt Petunia's, it has a few messes and actually looks lived in he thought, crossing of another place. The house only has about two stories, so it can't be the Burrow, but it does come in close second Harry regretfully crossing the Burrow off the list. Then, for a second time today, realization hit him, leaving him breathless. No, no way how can it- but it can-can't it?
James- no wait his dad's, got to get used to calling him that- wordsrang out in his head. It is, he realized what felt like an eternity later. It only explains why it's familiar and why his parents are sitting across from him smiling.
"Mum?" he whispered turning to face Lily. "Dad?" he whispered looking at his James now. "I-Is this re-Is this really-"but he trailed off, seeing James and Lily's smile. It is! He was all but jumping for joy.
"Harry." His mum said in a quiet but audible voice. Harry slightly to face her, showing her that he has her attention, but still keeping his dad's figure in his line of vision, not wanting him to disappear if he looked away.
"Harry, Welcome Home."
His parent's figures blurred for a minute, and he panicked, what was happening? Are they fading away from him? He lifted a hand to his face and quickly drew it back, surprised to find it wet, he was crying. He trained his eyes back on the couple in front of him.
"That's why it looked so familiar," Harry thought aloud, his mind wandering back to the corridor just outside this room. Thinking of the times he must of walked this corridor, all only in the course of one year, but still, this was his home, where it all began for him, and just as quickly, all ended. Harry was lost in his thoughts for a while, and did not notice his parents staring at each other, having a silent conversation.
"So Harry," His dad's voice snapped him out of his thoughts," do you play any Quidditch?" Harry felt a grin spread across his face at the mention of an attempt at a new topic of conversation.
"Ya, I'm the seeker on the Gryffindor team."
Harry saw James' eyes light up at the thought of his only son playing the sport he loved, and he saw Lily roll her eyes at the mention of the sport her husband had an infatuation with. Right then, as Harry and his dad talked in depth of Quidditch tactics, teams and tricks, with occasional interruptions from Lily', the tension that earlier occupied the space in the room, evaporated.
Harry didn't know how long it was, but as he watched his dad and his mum get in a mock fight about something that Harry had no idea of, he just sat and enjoyed the moment, watching his parents, alive, carefree, happy, and joking with one another. But as he pondered on these thoughts, for the third time that night he felt like he got hit by a thousand pound truck, struck by realization.
How are they alive right now? He thought. Sure, he survived a curse that was supposedly unbeatable, but Dumbledore explained that-that it was his mother's love, she died for him, to protect him, that's why he's living and she's not. That's why he's living and his dad's not, he gave them time, time to run, but not enough, it-it was never enough. The bodies were found, there was proof they died, and Harry even saw it happen, though he was too little to remember the actual scene, he could still hear her shout, the screams of his dying mother and pleading father, pleading his mother to run, run and get out of this house. He still remembers the flashes of green light, the final blow that killed his mother, and then the blow meant to kill him, but failed, all because of his mother's love. They died in this house, how can they be alive and sitting here, in front of him, laughing, joking, as if nothing ever happened? That they never died, That Harry was an orphan, alone, with no family. What was it Dumbledore said? Ah, No spell can reawaken the dead Harry, yes that was it. He said that only last year, that last day of the semester, after the Tournament. If no spell can reawaken the dead, and there is actual, concrete proof that Lily and James Potter are, in fact, dead; how is it they are right in front of Harry, so close and so life like, looking like if reached out far enough he would be able to touch his father's sleeve-covered shoulder. He had to ask, he needed to know, know if this is real, know if that is really them there. Another thought came to Harry as odd. Why is it that the lighting outside looks too bright to be British sunlight, almost too bright to be actual light coming from the sun itself, why is it, that even if he's been here for hours, that it shines as brightly as it did when he first entered the room at what felt like lifetimes ago?
"How?" Harry croaked, his voice hoarse and dry from not a lot of use in the last couple of minutes, or at least what felt like minutes ago, he can't be sure anymore. He looked up at his parents questioning looks, but there wasn't only question in those looks, there was something else, something that looked like sorrow to Harry, sorrow, question, and fear. He didn't understand why but he realized the tension came back and it was thicker than ever and looked as if there was white fog in the room, Harry just pushed it aside, focusing on the matter at hand. He took a couple deep breaths and swallowed a few times before he asked again.
"How are you-" he paused and tried again "aren't you-" his voice died in his throat. Harry found the words 'dead' and 'alive' much harder to say when looking at his parents faces. He stayed silent just looking at them, trying to figure out how this is all possible. When they realized he wasn't going to finish the question, they both glanced at each other, each mirroring the others expression of sorrow. When they turned back he saw tears in Lily's eyes, not those of joy that were earlier running down her face, but tears of hurt and sadness. As they all looked at each other, Harry found it harder and harder to see them, the thought of fog on his glasses crossed his mind so he took them off and rubbed them on his shirt, but when he put them back on he realized it was only harder to see his parents.
"Mum," harry whispered softly, "dad? Wh-what's happening?" Harry raised a hand to his face to check for tears, seeing if he was crying like before, but it came back dry.
He looked all around, being careful to keep his parents in sight, and found out the whole room was being obscured by the odd thick, white fog. The doorway in which he came in from wasn't even visible anymore! His eyes swiveled back to the couch in front of him to look at his parents to find only two figures sitting on the couch, silhouetted by the growing light from outside, he could barely tell who was who anymore, and they were fading by the second!
"MUM!-DAD!" Harry cried out desperately, jumping to his feet. He can't lose them, no, he couldn't, not again. "MUM-DAD!" Harry called again, his voice rising with each word, "COME BACK! WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED YOU! COME BACK- PLEASE, DON'T GO!" Harry felt streams of liquid flow down his cheeks. The fact that he was crying barely registered in his mind because right then he heard her voice.
"Harry," his mum's soft voice came out of the stifling fog, it sounded like it was miles away from him, how is this possible?, "we love you Harry, you're not alone, you never will be." Her voice sounded like it was fading. "No! Mum-MUM! COME BACK!" Harry yelled, he didn't stop, he needed to tell her he was grateful, to say thank you for sacrificing herself for him, to tell her he's sorry, sorry that he was the reason she was dead.
"Harry," he stopped yelling instantly at the mention of his name. "your mother's right, as usual," he could tell the attempt to lighten the mood with those two words, it didn't help him one bit, "you're never alone, and you never will be, you have your friends, you have Padfoot and Moony, and you have us. We were always with you, son, and we always will be." His dad's already fading voice, faded completely.
Harry looked around wildly, feeling alone. "MUM!" he yelled into the already blinding light and fog, "DAD!" there was no answer, only an echo. "COME BACK PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME! I NEED YOU!" his voice was getting hoarse from yelling so much. Where were they? Why weren't they answering him? Why aren't they coming to him, telling him that they weren't gone, that they will always be there for him, that he finally found him? And why weren't they holding onto him, like he wanted to hold onto them, never letting go?
"Please," he croaked out, not having enough energy to yell into the growing white fog and blinding white light, "please don't go, don't go, I-I need you t-to come back, I ca-can't lose you two again." Harry suddenly needed to say something, he need to tell them, before it was too late, but what if it already was?
Harry looked directly at the light, but had to close his eyes at the intensity of it, still facing the light he started to whisper: "I'm sorry mum, I'm sorry dad. I'm so sorry that you guys died so young, that you were targeted. It-it's my fault that you died, if I hadn't been born, if only a day later, then you guys, Sirius, and Remus would all be together, never torn apart. I just hope you can forgive me." With those parting words, Harry bowed his head and put his hands up to his face, hiding his face from view so that, if his parents were somehow watching and could see him clearly through the impenetrable fog and light, they wouldn't be able to see that shame show on his face.
Harry felt the fog lift up around him, and his eyelids darken, the light fading away. And Harry James Potter woke up.
Harry's eyes snapped open as his ears were immediately met with a low rumble. He looked around at his surroundings only to be met with blurred silhouettes around him. Harry reached over to the blur that looked like a nightstand next to his bed and after a considerable amount of roaming; his hand finally came in contact with the familiar wire-rimmed glasses. Harry slipped them on and looked once more at his surroundings. He was currently sitting in an unfamiliar, dark room on an unfamiliar, lumpy bed. The only familiar thing that there was in this room, beside his trunk and Hedwig, his snowy owl, was the low rumble of snore that came from the bed next to him, in which occupied a sleeping Ron.
Harry rubbed his face, only to draw if back quickly with a gasp of surprise to find that it was wet, Suddenly the memory of the dream that he just awoken from hit him in full force, causing him to let out an involuntary whimper, which was answered with a rather large snore from Ron. A dream Harry thought, depressed it was just a dream, they were never alive, you never walked through your house at Godric's Hallow, you never spoke to your parents, it was just a part of your imagination. These thoughts did nothing to ease the pain throbbing in his chest, not even dull it.
Harry got up off of the lumpy bed with a creek that didn't worry him, Ron slept through anything and mostly everything. He navigated his way across the room to the faint outline that he was sure was a door.
When Harry got out of the room, and into the corridor, he started running, not paying attention to where he was going. When Harry's lungs hurt so much that it took an enormous amount of effort to just breathe, did he finally stop at an unfamiliar landing.
Harry slid against a wall not bothering to hide in the shadows; he doubted anyone would find him with all of the twists and turns in this house. Harry, for what felt like the millionth time that night he put his head in his hands, so used to the feel of tears on his hands. Why did this happen to me? Why did I have to have that dream? Why couldn't I just have a dreamless sleep like Ron, not waking up to the slightest noise? As Harry was too busy let all his emotions out, he didn't hear the noise of a door quietly slide shut in an upper landing.
He didn't know how long he sat there; it must have been a long time judging from the way his lower body lost feeling some time ago. So when Harry heard footsteps coming from the stairs right in front of him he wasn't surprised, just only panicked, not wanting anyone to see him in the middle of this breakdown. He looked around frantically, looking for the nearest hiding place, but finding none, he had the oddest sense of déjà vu.
"Harry?" questioned the older man looking down at him from the last two stairs. "Harry, what're you doing down here?" harry looked up at the face of the middle aged man standing before him. He had long dark hair for a male and a once handsome gaunt face with haunted grey eyes. "Just sitting" Harry replied softly.
Sirius quickly descended the last two steps with great ease to stride closer to where Harry huddled against the wall. Once he got a closer look at Harry he was surprised to see that he had tears coming down his cheeks. "Harry, are you crying?" Sirius asked worriedly.
"N-no" Harry answered back, his voice betraying him by cracking. Harry looked up in time to see Sirius roll his eyes and smirk at Harry's poor attempt at a lie. "What?" Harry demanded, not finding the joke.
"No offense, Harry, but you are sitting in the middle of a corridor, at about 3 in the morning, and you have tears running down your face so I'm sorry but all those points leave to that you're crying and something's wrong," Sirius' face then turned serious," tell me what's wrong." Sirius left no room for argument in those last four words.
Harry saw no way out of this conversations and harry was dying to tell someone, for someone to understand. Sirius seemed like the perfect person, either him or Remus, they could relate to him, after all didn't they lose Lily and James as well? He took a deep, shaky breath before plunging into the story. Harry told Sirius everything, about the corridor, his parents, their conversations, about the white mist that separated him from them, about how it felt so real that he doubted it could even be a dream; once Harry told Sirius the dream he kept going, digging up thoughts that had haunted him for 13 years.
"- I didn't want them to die, but I feel responsible, because I don't know why, but Voldemort's always been after me, and that night on Halloween, in Godric's Hallow, I think he was after me, they died because of me, and I just want them to know that I never wanted that to happen, but they never will." He took one last shaky breathe and ended took look into the face of a very shocked Sirius.
"Harry, I don't ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again, not only are they a lie, but if your parents heard those words from you they would hex me into next week." Sirius said in a low tone, that Harry usually heard from McGonagall when she's disciplining a student.
"No Harry listen to me, even if it seems like Voldemort is targeting you, that has nothing to do with your parents deaths. Even if he's after you specifically, it's not your fault, you didn't specifically ask for him to come in a kill your parents Harry."
"Sirius, during that dream, when I realized that they couldn't be alive, I-I-I felt pain, pain like I never felt before, it was like I was falling, fa-falling and couldn't get back up again." Sirius saw the fresh tears run down Harry's face and he suddenly realized how much buried pain and thoughts this dream unearthed from the past 13 years, and that was just too much pain for a 14 year old to go through. He had the eyes of an adult that held that pain for the world to see, all you had to do was look close enough.
"That's exactly what I felt when I was arrived at your house, wh-when," Sirius took a deep breath and looked away from Harry's curious gaze, setting his on the wall in front of him, 13 years later and it still pained him to talk about that night, he steadied his breathing and continued, his eyes glazed over in memory," when your parents died. All I could feel was my feet give way and I felt weightless, it felt like a nightmare, but Harry, what you had, it wasn't a nightmare, it was a dream."
Still not looking at Harry, Sirius continued.
"Harry, I realize the pain you feel, I felt that two, how you feel like your falling and then suddenly your jerked unceremoniously back to earth, but you got what you always wanted right, to meet your parents, to get to know them, even if it wasn't in the way you wanted to." Sirius chanced a glance at Harry and wasn't surprised to see that the black haired teenager was crying looking at the same wall Sirius had. "You're not alone Harry, you never were, they were always with you, even when you needed them the most, even when you thought they weren't there, they were. You have so much of them in you."
What Sirius was surprised to see was harry let out a strangled sob and put his head between his knees that were tugged up to his chest. "Harry-" Sirius asked slowly, not wanting to scare the boy off.
Harry looked up at Sirius with round, bloodshot, emerald eyes. "Th-that's what-t mu-mu-mum said wh-when they dis-sappe-ard. 'th-that I was nev-never alone, th-that I never wi-ill be.'" Harry finished, his eyes glazed over as if in some far away place that only he could be.
Sirius had nothing to say and on impulse he embraced his godson, his tears mixed into the black mob of unruly black hair, and Harry's soaking Sirius' cotton shirt.
They sat like that crying together, letting out the pain of 13 years and all they lost, with one of the only other people that understood what they felt, flow together and away from them until the first rays of dawn shined through the window overhead. Sirius was the first to break away from the embrace just to look at the weak rays of sun come through the small window. Harry copied Sirius' movements until he could no longer look at the light, he turned to face Sirius. "It was them, wasn't it?" he asked softly.
Still looking at the light Sirius nodded, "I believe it was Harry," at this he turned to face harry, the tears dry on his once handsome face, "their spirits I mean, you couldn't of dreamed all that by yourself, your parents helped, they died in that house. They brought you back to it, to show you how they lived before, fun-loving, happy people. Remember them that way Harry, keep that memory and never let it go."
Harry looked like he wanted to say more on the matter but when Sirius stood up and dusted off his pants, Harry thought better. "Ok Sirius." He accepted Sirius' hand and got up. "Better get up to bed, kid, you should get the last remaining hours to sleep before Molly works you to the bone today." Sirius said when they finally reached the landing where Harry and Ron's room was. He nodded and just before he opened the door, turned around to face Sirius.
"In my dream dad said that you and moony will always be there." Harry stated softly. Sirius stopped halfway up the stairs and smiled softly before turning to face the messy-haired teen. "He was a smart man, your dad was," he said before saying the real answer Harry wanted, "We will always be there for you Harry, we'll never leave you." And with those words he gracefully ascended the stairs and turned the corner out of sight.
Harry smiled before opening the door to the room and felt his way through the dark room to his bed, the heavy curtains blocking the first rays of the day. Sitting on the bed, Harry just realized how tired he was. He took off his glasses and buried himself under the covers and closed his eyes. Just before he went completely into the sleep that was calling him, Harry could've sworn that he felt the pressure of a kiss on his cheek and a single hand ruffle his hair affectionately. He smiled and just then, the sleep over took him.
If Harry Potter was awake and looked closely enough in front of him, he would see the figures of Lily and James Potter standing over him, as if behind a veil; smiling down at his sleeping figure affectionately. He would see the way a pearly tear cascaded down the face of Lily and how James wrapped his arm around her waist, comforting her. He would've seen Lily kneel down, James closely following, so that she was eye level with a sleeping Harry. He would've felt the hug that his parents both gave him, together. He would've heard the words James whispered, "A Family again."
But unfortunately for him, Harry was not awake. He was finally in one of the dreamless sleeps he so frequently envied. He didn't see his parents, see or feel the hug he so desperately wanted, Harry never heard James words whispered right in front of him, his parents arms attached to him. Yes, unfortunately for Harry James Potter he didn't experience any of this. He wouldn't Lily and James say goodbye one last time with a hug and kiss each before straightening up, taking one another's hands, and with one last glance at their only sleeping son, they turned and walked to the door fading into the darkness before reaching the door.
A/N: Well there you have it, my first story. Please review, I would like at least some. Oh and if anybody has any good story suggestions, I would LOVE to hear them, I read the Marauders Era, Lily and James Pairings.