A/N Idea I've had for quite a while but never decided to actually write till now. I hope it's good. Please review if you end up reading it all, I really appreciate the feedback. I know the Doctor is OOC so please don't say that in your reviews, thats just how i write him.
Summary: The Doctor's reaction to Jack and Martha's conversation in "Utopia" is just a little different. "He couldn't stand them speaking about her as if she was nothing... just another human." ONE-SHOT. Cameo appearance from Rose and Jackie Tyler.
Disclaimer: I own no rights to Doctor Who or any of its relevant spin offs.
The Doctor listened intently to the conversation going on behind him; a pace ahead with his hands stuffed into his pockets to hind the tight fists they had clenched into as his memories of an almost identical conversation came to the forefront of his mind. Blonde hair and brown eyes swept rampantly past his eyes, making the scenery fade into meaningless swirls of colour. His jaw clenched in anger the further his two companions went, not realising what dangerous ground they were on, his fury directed almost entirely at Martha, as she spoke of what she didn't know.
"Not if you're blonde," the captain spoke in careless retaliation of Martha's previous comment. The Doctor knew that the other man knew he was getting worked up, recognized that his emotions were bubbling to the surface and he glared at the air in front of him, refusing to give in and turn around. He knew the man was watching him intently, almost able to feel the intensity of his gaze on the back of his head. Jack wanted him to break, to show the emotion he knew was trapped inside, even if it wasn't the best time. Because he was the only one, left in their universe, who could possibly understand how much his and Rose's separation affected him, even if he didn't know the details.
He couldn't stand them speaking about her as if she was nothing... just another human.
"Oh she was blonde! What a surprise!" He heard the sarcasm, jealously and hostility hidden behind joviality and could no longer suppress the rapid snarl that curled on his mouth and hissed past his lips as he swung round to face them, face darker than either had ever seen as his gaze bore into them like molten pools of red hot flames.
Martha took an involuntary step backwards and drew in a frightened breath, knowing she had finally gone too far though not fully understanding why, while Jack grimaced and lowered his gaze to the stagnant rubble beneath his feet thinking for the first time perhaps working the Doctor up hadn't been the best idea.
Had they been talking about anything else his voice would have been lighter, maybe even sharing in their high spirits but as he ground out his words they dripped with fury and clenched fists told them just how hard he had to try to keep the Oncoming Storm inside. "We're at the end of the universe. All right?" They flinched as he almost screamed the usually casual question at them, breath shaky with the effort of repressing his protective instincts towards the perfect blonde that could no longer defend her own name in their universe. "We're at the edge of knowledge itself and you're busy blogging!" He spat the word out like a curse, watching in satisfaction as their stances slumped in apology. He knew they wouldn't do it again, that they understood they had gone too far, but something within him told him to keep going and that he needed them to understand more.
"You have no idea. NO IDEA just how brilliant she was." Jack raised his empathetic eyes to him to protest but he hurried, not wanting to hear any excuses or disagreements. "No, not even you Jack. Neither of you were there when she saved my life or the lives of others."
He then turned his attention to Martha who was looking at him once again, frown now in place like she was deciding whether to believe him, like she actually doubted Rose did those things. "You Martha, you think because you were almost a doctor you're better than her but let me tell you; you could NEVER live through the Time Vortex, you wouldn't handle living through Satan, you wouldn't stand by me, never doubting your place at my side, when your life was in danger."
Until that point Martha had so many arguments against what he was saying, thinking to herself how wrong he was but as he said that everything inside her stopped and thought back through her adventures. Sure, most of the time she had risen bravely to the challenge, but never? She knew there were at least a few times she had internally wished she had never met the Doctor, that she was back at home, working at the hospital and going to parties, especially back on that ship when she had been falling into a sun.
But never? Had Rose really never, not even once, been the same way? Had she been in the same situations, worse even, but never doubted him or her choice? The idea that it was true made a lump rise in her throat and constrict her breathing. Her eyes watered as she saw just one lone tear track its way down the Doctor's cheek as he continued to stare at them coldly.
"Yes, she was blonde, but do you know what else she was?" He asked rhetorically, not waiting for an answer before ploughing on, because he knew his voice would soon give out of him as his breath became shaky, just like his hands, and his hearts stuttered painfully in his chest in warning. "She was perfect. She was herself and never anything different. She was the most intelligent being I've ever met... She was mine." His voice had gone from being strong and firm to a whisper of desperation as he finally dropped his gaze and looked at the ground.
He knew they were staring back at him now, waiting for him to finish, not daring to utter another word; so he took an extremely deep breath, slid one hand into his pocket to clench the ring he never left behind, that he had never had the chance to give her, then looked back up, drawing strength from it and from Rose.
He looked at Jack in the eye first. "You should know better," was all he said to the man before turned sternly to Martha, fully aware he still had a tear track on his face but unwilling to wipe it away. It somehow seemed like doing so would make it as if his pain could just be erased that easily and though he sometimes wished that were the truth; nothing could be further from it.
"You never even met her and yet think you can pass judgement. But if you ever do have the chance, count yourself lucky." His gaze softened just slightly for what he had to say next, knowing it would hurt her though he wished he didn't have to. "I can be your friend, but I will never love you; I can't. She was so much more than-" He swallowed convulsively as his words got stuck in his throat and he cleared it lightly, trying again and finishing quickly, knowing he didn't have much more reserves to draw on within himself to keep talking. "She was everything."
It was the simplest thing he could say to make them understand how he felt and why it hurt so much.
They simply nodded at him and Jack looked at him in regret. "Doctor I'm-" The Time Lord cut off the apology, raising a hand before turning back around and continuing to walk.
Across the universes at that same moment a young blonde girl sobbed into her worried mothers arms after waking up from a perfect dream of the best memories of her entire life.
Jackie looked down at the top of her daughters head in desperation of not knowing what to do as she gently rocked her back and forth, praying silently for someone to help her; for someone or something to make all this pain leave her precious baby.
Tears made their way down her cheeks as she looked down at the quivering girls head. "Rose, it's been months. Please darling, speak to me." Her voice was desperate. She had heard from her husband that she did indeed talk at work, about work, quite efficiently; however she had not directly heard a word from the tiny body against her now since that beach, apart from her screams that woke them all in the middle of the night and the occasional time she had seen her baby gazing at the stars as she quietly called to him, clutching the dull key against her chest in a tight fist. "Help me understand how to make this better, tell me why it isn't getting better!" She begged as the younger girl continued to sob, quieting after her words so that her tears were silent.
She didn't think she'd ever fully grasp the depth of her daughters next words as they slipped woefully past her lips but she didn't ask the question ever again realising there was nothing she could ever do to make it okay.
She felt her heart break for the both her daughter and the man in their home universe as the shaking girl murmured to her,
"He was everything."
A/N Yeah so, OOC but that's how I like my Doctor and Rose, much more dramatic than what the creators do. I hope you liked it, sorry if it was a bit unrealistic or anything but I hope it was still good and well written.
Please PLEASE review, I'll be waiting.