I quietly watched the ghostly wisps of steam rising from the coffee and wondered why life had to take such dramatic turns so suddenly. I was at the hospital, currently sitting in the small cafeteria. The tears had stopped flowing but I was in a state of shock. Finn Hudson, my own Finn, had been in a car accident. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I'm the kind of person who expects life to hurl the worst in my direction but this was painful on a whole other level. I knew Rachel was still upstairs in the room with him, and that was half of the reason I wasn't there. The other half was that I could not bear to see Finn unconscious with bruises on his arms and face, his left arm in a cast. Just two hours ago I was sitting with Carole in the kitchen. We had chatted for about an hour, talking about all kinds of things like studies, glee club, and music. She paid close attention to everything I said and I was always impressed at what a good conversationalist she was. She had pacified me well enough but then I walked to my room and saw the red indicator light of my BlackBerry blinking. I walked over, picked it up and saw that I had three voice mail messages. All of them were from my dad who had first called an hour ago to inform me that Finn had crashed his car into an electricity pole on the side of the road on his way back from Rachel's house. Turned out he had steered his car left when a drunk driver was coming at him and it had fallen off the road. The woman had driven away in a hurry and since it was nighttime, none of the onlookers had had a chance to see her number plate. The first emotion I felt after I hung up was shock and disbelief, which gave way to anger and loathing. I would wring that drunken woman's neck with my bare hands, and it was frightening how I felt such deep hatred about a person.
I been the most angry at myself for having left my phone unattended; I could have known about this an hour ago. But I had repressed my anger. My parents had not raised me to think about violence. Instead I had collected my thoughts, taken a few deep breaths and rushed out to give the news to Carole. I had wondered why dad hadn't called her directly but then remembered that she didn't carry a cell phone. To her credit, she hadn't broken down. However, tears had come to her eyes. She had asked me, her voice shaky, to take her to the hospital immediately. I changed my clothes hurriedly, she grabbed her purse and we practically flew over to the hospital and rushed to his room. My dad and Rachel had been sitting on both sides of his bed. Carole started crying as soon as he saw her son's unconscious form. Tears also flowed freely down my cheeks. Rachel looked like she had been crying but was very still and quiet now. My dad looked solemn. By the looks of Finn, he seemed to be pretty banged up, and the sight was enough to break my spirit. I was never as sensitive about other people as I was about Finn. I learned from the doctor when he came to check up on Finn that he had damaged some muscles of his left arm and the forearm bone had small fracture. He would need a few weeks of physiotherapy after the bone mended to rehabilitate the muscle. His neck had suffered some strain but would be all right with rest. They couldn't confirm a concussion until Finn woke up.
The coffee wasn't tasty but I had no intention of finishing the whole cup anyway. I felt like I could never eat again. I took my cell phone and texted the whole club about Finn's accident – well, almost the whole group. I didn't have Puck's, Matt's, Mike's and Mr. Schuester's phone numbers. Mercedes replied saying she'd come visit first thing in the morning. Artie and Tina were probably on a date but I got messages from both saying they'd visit on their way home. I didn't get a reply from Brittany. Santana said she'd be there in a few minutes. Quinn was the only one who actually called back.
"I hope this isn't some kind of a joke, Kurt," she said threateningly.
"Hello to you, too, Quinn," I said dryly.
"I'm not kidding around," she practically yelled.
I took a deep breath. "Yes, Quinn, he was in an accident but luckily, he'll be all right. The worst thing is that his arm will need some fixing up, there is a small fracture," I patiently explained.
"Oh, I see," she breathed and I could hear she was choking up.
"Aren't you going to visit him?"
"I'll come to the hospital tomorrow. I'm with my mom, visiting my aunt. I'm not in the city," she said with a hint of remorse.
"I see. Well, do drop by. He'll be happy to see you when he wakes up."
"Will do. Thanks for telling me, Kurt. Really."
"Don't mention it."
I sincerely believed Quinn and I could have been good friends if she wasn't the bitchy head cheerleader and I wasn't the outcast gay kid.
Ah, well, I thought. C'est la vie. I put down the cup of bad coffee after taking another small sip, and got up to leave. I walked out of the café and into the lobby. Santana had just walked in and was talking hurriedly to the receptionist. I walked over to her and she hugged me with one arm. She was holding a bouquet with the other hand, and I vaguely wondered how she had gotten them at this time of night. As much as I wanted to distance myself from these people, now was not the time to be turning down small gestures of affection.
"Where is he?" she asked with a sense of urgency.
"Follow me," I said and took her upstairs to Finn's room.
My dad was sitting with Carole outside of Finn's room and he was hugging her close. Santana waved to both of them and we entered the room. Rachel had fallen asleep with her held resting on her folded arms on Finn's bed. I checked my watch to see that it was almost midnight. Santana walked over to the nightstand and put her bouquet on it since there was no vase to put the flowers in. She sat in the chair my dad was sitting in earlier and put her hand on Finn's. I watch quietly from near the door. She swallowed and her eyes looked sullen, I could tell that she was deeply concerned about Finn's health. She asked me about how he was and I told her the same thing I had told Quinn. She seemed to relax a little and asked me how long he'd be unconscious. I just shrugged. I didn't know. She stayed for about forty-five minutes but made little conversation. Then she got up to leave. She stumbled against the chair but hastily grabbed on to the bed to keep from falling. The noise woke Rachel up and she looked around groggily.
"Oh, hey, Santana," she said in a husky voice.
"Hey, Rache," she said and grabbed her purse. "I was just leaving."
Rachel nodded absently and Santana started walking towards the door. "Oh, and congrats on getting the role," she said turning around.
"I'm not too happy about that right now," said Rachel looking her in the eye.
"When are you leaving?" asked Santana but I could tell she didn't really care.
"In two days," she replied sadly. "I wish I had more time. I don't want to leave 'til Finn recovers."
"You could just, you know, not go," said Santana, rolling her eyes in that signature way of hers.
"I can't do that, and you know it!"
"All I know is, your career means more to you than your boyfriend, who would have given up everything to stay with you if you were in his position."
I was shocked to hear those words come from Santana. I knew she wasn't particularly gentle but this was a downright cruel thing to say in this situation. Maybe, I thought, this is the jealousy talking. Rachel, after all, had someone Santana couldn't have even when she put out for him. I wanted to laugh at the irony of it.
"I think you should leave, Santana," said Rachel in an uncharacteristically flat tone.
Santana rushed out the door and quickly walked through the corridor towards the elevator. I couldn't say anything, because I had no idea of how Rachel would react to anything. She seemed precariously close to crying and I knew not to push her further so I quietly went and sat down in the chair to the right of the bed. Finn hadn't moved at all. All the crying had made my eyes puffy and I had a headache. Not the piercing kind of pain, but a dull throb. I don't remember crying this much in a single night all my life. I so badly wanted to sleep for a few hours. Sleep the pain away. But I wanted to be awake in case Finn woke up. Rachel pulled out her phone and started doing something on it, I couldn't tell whether she was playing a game or going through her messages. Against my will, I fell asleep in a few minutes.
When I woke up, my neck was stiff and I was very uncomfortable. I wondered how people sleep in these situations but realized that they probably didn't. I felt bad for falling asleep when the guy I loved had been unconscious for hours. I looked up to see Rachel was still there and it irritated me for no real reason. I realized she had as much a right to be here as I did. I just wanted myself to be the first person Finn saw when he woke up. Maybe that was an irrational desire but I was through making sense for the night. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. It was almost two thirty A.M.. Rachel seemed exhausted and was still doing whatever it was on her phone, though every thirty seconds she lifted her gaze to Finn. She saw that I was awake and informed that Tina and Artie had come to visit when I was asleep, but they didn't want to wake me. Well, that explained the addition of a vase with flowers on the nightstand, next to the bouquet. I looked around the room and then the corridor but my dad wasn't there. I decided to call him. He picked up after five rings.
"Hello?" he said sleepily.
"Hey, dad. Did I wake you? Where are you?"
"I went home, Kurt. You were asleep," he answered, he sounded worn out. "I have work in the morning."
"I understand," I said sincerely. "What about Carole?"
"Oh, she's still at the hospital. I couldn't convince her to leave. She might be at the café if she's not in the room."
"Okay. Well, thanks dad. G'night."
"'Night, son. Take care."
I heard a delighted squeal from inside the room and rushed back in to see the happiest expression on Rachel's face I had ever seen and she was leaning towards him. Finn's eyes were open and he was looking towards me. Happiness hit me like lightening and I couldn't help but jump a little, though I was embarrassed about it afterwards. I ran over to his bed and hugged which he returned by putting his good arm around my shoulder. Rachel gave Finn a quick kiss and ran off to tell Carole. I didn't want to wake dad again, so I wrote a quick text 'Dad good news, finn woke up :)' and sent it. I sat next to Finn and squeezed his hand affectionately. All my exhaustion wore off and gave way to pure joy.
"Hey," he said weakly. "Some water…"
I flushed at not thinking about that myself. How very rude of me. I jumped off the chair, grabbed a glass, and filled it with tap water. I realized he couldn't move his neck or sit up to drink it so I hurriedly rummaged the nightstand drawer which held small things that might come in handy for patients. I found some straws and put one in the class. Finn drank that water like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. I smiled. That was when Carole and Rachel came back. Carole looked overjoyed to see her son smiling at her and rushed to give him a hug. He made a small noise of pain when his neck moved so she immediately let go of him and gave him a kiss on his forehead.
"How are you feeling?" she asked in the most motherly tone I'd ever seen her use.
"Sort of hungry," he said sheepishly and we couldn't help but laugh. There was never a time when Finn couldn't eat.
"I'll go get the doctor and ask the nurse to bring you some food," she said and walked out of the room.
"You guys look like hell," Finn remarked, looking at both of us.
"Have you looked in a mirror?" I said with a smile. He smiled back.
"Finn, I was worried sick about you," said Rachel, walking towards him. She's wasn't for one second happy not to be the center of attention.
They carried on their conversation with Rachel doing most of the talking and Finn giving one-word answers. She told him about the visitors, about his injuries, about how she'd rushed to his side and waited here 'til he woke up. He seemed very pleased with all the attention he was getting. It was endearing, however, in the same manner as everything else that Finn did was endearing. Carole came back with a doctor and announced that a nurse would bring Finn something to eat in a few minutes. The doctor proceeded to examine Finn's arm and then examined his eyes with a pocket flashlight. He asked Finn some silly questions like what his name was and what day of the week it was. Standard test for concussion, I assumed. Finn answered correctly. He asked Finn if he had a headache and Finn replied in the positive. The doctor told us that he had a minor concussion and that would pass with rest. He told him he'd give him some aspirin for the headache and left the room. A pretty red-haired nurse walked into the room at that moment with a tray of some soft food and a glass of water. There was also some medicine on the tray. She instructed him on when to take it, smiled, and then walked out.
It was a relief to get the confirmation that Finn was going to be all right. Carole advised me and Rachel to go home and rest up. We could visit the next day anyway so I didn't see a problem with that. I picked up my phone and decided it was the best time to push Rachel's buttons. I was in high spirits, and I wanted to mess around. I walked over to Finn, and looked Rachel dead in the eye. I softly hugged him, kissed his forehead and then backed off. I leaned in again and slowly moved my lips over his cheek, dangerously close to his lips, and kissed him there. Rachel was glaring daggers at me and she looked like she wanted to throw something, but she didn't. I felt absolutely giddy. I turned to look at Carole and she gave me a look somewhere between disbelief and amusement. I walked confidently out of the room, out of the hospital, and into my car. I didn't turn back to look whether Rachel came or not. I drove home slowly, enjoying the cool night air and counting the minutes to when Rachel would be gone and Finn wouldn't spend all day outside with her. Sound selfish? Sue me.
In my room, I took a quick shower and wore a pair of black trousers with a white t-shirt and got into bed. I fell asleep within minutes.
That night I dreamt of Finn making love to me on red silk sheets, my vision hazy. I looked around the heavily decorated room, mostly red, and then look straight up into Finn's loving eyes. It seems to last an eternity, I woke up when in my dream I had an orgasm.
But, sure enough, the orgasm had been real.
So what do you think? :) Reviews are appreciated as always!