A/N: This is for raffle winner, tsukiko94! Also, this is not related to National Bring Your Chocobo to Work Day, but it does use the same settings as it. For example, a 'cucumber' is still not a regular cucumber… :)
Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, but it'd be kinda sweet if I did… XD
Warning(s): Do NOT use the method I describe below to knock someone out! I don't want to be held responsible if someone sues you for doing so! … XD Other than that, I believe language is the only warning…
National Dress Up As Your Superior Day
Zack evilly grinned as he saw what special holiday it was today on his calendar.
"Perfect…" Zack said to himself before taking a shower and getting dressed before he made his way over to Sephiroth's apartment. Luckily for him, he stole Sephiroth's card key a long time ago and swiped it through the card slot and quietly tip toed to Sephiroth's kitchen to grab something before tip toeing to Sephiroth's bedroom. Though he knew that Sephiroth was a very light sleeper, he was surprised that he wasn't awake already. The last time he checked, Sephiroth was usually at the gym this hour. Maybe he wasn't feeling well… When he slowly opened the bedroom door, his eyes widened and couldn't fight back a blush. Sephiroth was completely naked with a thin sheet wrapped around his waist. Zack shook his head of naughty thoughts and narrowed his eyes; he had a goal to fulfill before he could put his second master plan to work since his first one failed miserably since he found out that his chocobo was actually Sephiroth's. After he removed some items from Sephiroth's closet, he didn't realize that he made too much noise until it was too late.
"Zack, what the hell are you-"
Zack yelped like a dog would before using the frying pan he grabbed from Sephiroth's kitchen and banged it against the general's head. Zack stared down at the knocked out general on the floor with bewilderment. He thought the general would duck or grab the frying pan out of his hand before he'd let himself get hit with it. In fact, Zack didn't think that Sephiroth was that close to him… He placed the frying pan on his dresser before kneeling down to see if Sephiroth was alright and to make sure that he didn't accidentally kill him. When he saw that Sephiroth was knocked out cold, had a nice size bump forming on his head, and was still breathing, he couldn't help but grin in victory. At least the part of making sure Sephiroth wouldn't appear for the rest of the day was done. After he placed Sephiroth back on his bed, he locked the bedroom door as a just in case he woke up earlier than he expected him to. Deciding to use Sephiroth's bathroom since he knew that he wouldn't mind since he was knocked out, he put on his ultimate costume that the Silver Elite wished they could have. After he finished putting on his costume, he couldn't help but grin. National Dress Up As Your Superior Day was his new favorite holiday, since it was this holiday and Halloween that were the only two days that it was legal to dress up as the general. And since the ass of a general was dating his chocobo, eventhough Cloud had rejected his carrot when he went to try and catch him, he knew that this holiday would be better to try and get Cloud back than try at Halloween. When he was about to exit Sephiroth's apartment, he flinched when he noticed that Cloud was standing in front of him wearing casual clothing and smiling at him.
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
"I'm feeling fine. Why?" Zack said in a Sephiroth-like voice. Zack's eyes widened when Cloud glared at him.
"What do you mean why? Obviously you're not fine if you can't remember that you had an allergic reaction to the shrimp yesterday when we went out to dinner! I came by to make sure you were feeling better, but-"
"I'm fine Cloud. I got some medicine from Hojo. Shouldn't you be at your drills?" Zack asked thoughtfully, but all it did was piss off his chocobo even more.
"What did Hojo give you? Drugs that cause amnesia!"
Cloud rolled his eyes.
"You dismissed me from my classes today because it's our six month anniversary and you planned to spend the entire day with me!"
Zack was inwardly cracking up. He never knew that Sephiroth was a romantic and- wait, what!
'Shit! I don't know what Sephiroth had planned!'
"Umm…maybe I'm still not feeling-"
"Oh don't try that bullshit now! Let's go! I'm hungry and you said that you would take me to this special breakfast restaurant!" Cloud said with narrowed blue eyes as he grabbed Zack's hand and pulled him towards the elevator while Zack was frantically thinking of the nicest breakfast restaurants in Midgar.
Zack's eyes were wide as he watched Cloud devour nine large pancakes, an omelet, hash browns, umpteen strips of bacon, and umpteen links of sausage…all in the past fifteen minutes and was still going. What happened to the shy and always blushing cute little blond that he first met?
"Seph, order another set of pancakes!"
Zack scoffed as Cloud narrowed his eyes.
"I believe that you've had enough…"
"And I believe I told you to do something! NOW DO IT!" Cloud yelled as the other customers in the restaurant stared at them. Zack laughed nervously before telling the waiter that was standing near them that he would like to have another plate of pancakes and to put a rush on it. Zack looked back at Cloud and saw that he had a smile on his face before sipping down his large glass of orange juice. Maybe it was because he was hungry that made him act like that… He sure hoped so. If not, then he was in trouble…and so was his wallet.
Sephiroth groaned as he felt his head throb painfully. He placed a hand where he felt the most pain at and flinched when he felt a very large bump on his head. Memories came rushing back and he narrowed his eyes in anger. Zack was going to pay…right after he got some more sleep...
"Oh that's such bullshit! Like somebody would really walk around in a dark house after they found a dead body on the porch without calling the police!"
"Cloud, you're disturbing the other-"
"SHUT UP! I can't hear the movie! And why are so many people in here dressed as you?" Cloud yelled at Zack while eating his popcorn. Zack ignored the people that were glaring at them and stared at Cloud in shock. There was no way that this was the same blond he was trying to get in his bed. The spiky blond that he knew would never yell out his opinions in a movie theater and make the people around them become pissed off. This was a whole new side to Cloud that he'd never seen before…
"It's National Dress Up As Your Superior Day. You didn't know that?"
"OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T SINCE I ASKED YOU!"
"Cloud, keep your voice down! Others are trying to watch the movie!"
"Well don't ask me stupid questions then."
Zack glared at Cloud, who continued to watch the horror movie that he picked out. There was no way that Cloud acted like this in public…especially if he was with Sephiroth because he knew from first hand experience that he had a zero tolerance level for anything. Maybe Cloud was sick too… Zack was cut off from his thoughts when Cloud screamed and sent his butter overloaded popcorn all over Sephiroth's leather jacket and pants. Zack cursed as he jumped out of his seat and tried to get the butter off of the leather while ignoring the shots of the other Sephiroths in the theater for him to sit down.
"Oh, since you're standing up Seph, could you go and get me another bucket of popcorn and make sure to put a lot of butter on it. Thanks!"
Zack pondered about how bad it would be for the newspapers to read tomorrow about the general strangling a cadet in a movie theater while in uniform. It couldn't be that bad…
After Sephiroth slipped on his extra pair of leather boots and pants and broke down his bedroom door, Sephiroth set off to find the pestering puppy and his chocobo. He knew that Zack would try to steal him away, but he went to far this time. And since their six month anniversary fell on the same day as National Dress Up As Your Superior Day, he knew that Zack was in great spirits. He had a good idea of where to find them since the sun was setting, an automatic sign that it was dinnertime, and Cloud liked to eat dinner at restaurants on the weekends. When Sephiroth stepped outside of the ShinRa building, he growled in annoyance when he saw the umpteen versions of him in different shapes and sizes walking around. Holidays like this one really did piss him off…
Zack sighed as he watched Cloud happily eat the steak and lobster entrée, which happened to be the most expensive dish on the menu in the fancy restaurant. It was an understatement to say that Cloud had burned a crater in his wallet... After the movie, they went to another expensive restaurant for lunch and Cloud threw another temper tantrum there for him not order another side order of fries. After that, they went to the chocobo race track and Cloud made him bet on the chocobo that he knew was the slowest one out of all of the chocobos out there. After another tantrum, Zack placed a bet on the chocobo and wasn't surprised when it came in last place. After the chocobo race track, Cloud forced him to sit through three long and downright boring hours of LOVELESS. Cloud was so loud when he yelled at him to make him stop shifting around in his chair that the actors on stage stopped performing, which made him blush in embarrassment. And thus led them to the most expensive restaurant in Midgar for dinner… Zack didn't know how Sephiroth did it, but in order for him to deal with Cloud like how he experienced on a daily basis, the man had to have nerves stronger than steel because Cloud was driving him crazy! So much for romantic…
"Thanks for taking me out today… I really appreciate it…"
Zack stared at Cloud in shock. It was the most sincere thing Cloud had said all day. Zack couldn't help but smile.
"I know I was cranky today, but don't worry. I'll make it up to you tonight…" Cloud said before winking, which made Zack grin in excitement. That was what he'd been waiting to hear all day… When he saw Cloud's eyes widen in shock and drop his glass of champagne on the floor as his cheeks turned bright red, Zack stared at Cloud in confusion.
"Cloud…are you okay?"
When someone tapped him on his shoulder, he turned around and felt his face pale lighter than the makeup he was using…for standing behind him was none other than the real Sephiroth, who wasn't wearing a shirt and had a fierce look of anger on his face.
Zack turned to see Cloud happily getting out of his chair and wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's neck and kiss his cheek before giggling as Sephiroth wrapped an arm around his waist.
"I missed you all day!"
Zack stared at the scene in front of him in bewilderment.
"What happened to your head, Seph! There's a giant bump on it!"
Sephiroth smirked down at Zack's bewildered face before turning to his chocobo that was happy to see him before he gasped in shock and concern.
"An idiot decided to knock me out with my frying pan to make sure that I don't interfere in his plan today. Besides that, did you have fun today, Cloud?"
Cloud smiled up at him with his cheeks slightly pink.
"Yes I did… I did everything you told me to do if Zack ever disguised himself as you and tried to trick me into sleeping with him."
"Good chocobo. You'll receive a nice cucumber when we get home."
He grinned when he saw Cloud blush cherry red and bury his face in his chest.
"Wait, so Cloud knew it was me the entire time!" Zack asked with his eyes still wide.
"Of course he did. Since when would I let him throw a temper tantrum in public? Cloud knows how to behave himself better than that so I told him if he ever suspects that I'm not me, he throws a tantrum to see if it's really me or not."
"And how does he know that it's really you?"
"That's for us to know and for you to never find out. As you can see, it's getting late and I have an anniversary to properly celebrate. Have a good night's sleep Zack because for the following two months, I expect you to be up at four in the morning scrubbing every single thing dirty in the ShinRa building. And yes, I'll know if you do it or not because I already told all of the custodians that they have a two month vacation and that I hired someone that needed to learn not to try and steal what doesn't belong to him to cover their duties."
"You can't be-"
"Goodnight, Fair…and Happy National Dress Up As Your Superior Day by the way."
"Hey, Sephiroth…how am I supposed to know if it's really you or not when I see you? I've never thrown a temper tantrum in public like how I did today and I felt weird doing it…"
Sephiroth turned to the tired chocobo that was resting his head on his shoulder. After Cloud felt the need to take care of the bump on his head when they got in his apartment and after Sephiroth fed his starving chocobo, they were resting on his bed as Cloud finished telling him what he and Zack had done earlier. To say that Sephiroth was impressed with Cloud's behavior was an understatement.
"Well, for starters, since when do we go out without me ravishing you before we leave? Especially when you're wearing your uniform…"
Sephiroth chuckled when he saw Cloud's cheeks turn red.
"My point exactly... That's how you should know that it's me or not…"
"I just knew it wasn't you today since Zack forgot to put on green contacts."
"Well, Cloud. When it comes to Zack, you should know that he forgets minor, yet very important, details when it comes to anything…"
Cloud giggled before lightly running a finger up and down Sephiroth's chest.
"Seph…I'm still hungry…" Cloud said while blushing a dark shade of red when Sephiroth raised a brow at him.
"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. It seems as though I have one very spoiled chocobo on my hands… Then yet again, my chocobo likes to be fat and full of my cucumber so I guess that outweighs everything else…and it is our six month anniversary…" Sephiroth chuckled before rolling on top of his bright red chocobo that had a smile on his face and proceeded to make his chocobo happy and full to where as though he wouldn't leave his bed tomorrow.
A/N: I believe I'm enjoying writing these one-shots way too much…Hahaha! :)