Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters, but boy do I wish I did.
Author's Note: I've been a bit overly obsessed with Doctor Who lately. It's all I think about these days. I was supposed to go to sleep, but this little idea popped into my head and I just couldn't stop writing. I doubt anyone will read this, let alone review…but it'd be fantastic if you did.
The first set of italicized quotes was taken directly from The Last of the Time Lords and the second set was taken from The School Reunion.
Made for Someone Else
"The thing is, it's like my friend Vicky. She lived with this bloke, student house, there were five of them all packed in and this bloke was called Sean, and she loved him. She absolutely adored him, spent all day long talking about him..."
"Is this going anywhere?"
"Yes! 'Cause he never looked at her twice. I mean, he liked her, but that was it, and she wasted years pining after him. Years of her life, 'cause whilst he was round, she never looked at anyone else, and I told her, I always said to her time and time again, I said 'get out'. So this is me... getting out."
He leaned against the console, thinking over that little story she told and how he should feel guilty for being the bloke that never looked at her twice…but he wasn't. He honestly wasn't.
Could have explained it better, he supposed. He had made it clear that this wasn't meant to be a romantic thing, but that didn't stop her from sneaking glances or frowning that way she did when he spoke of Rose. He was aware of her little crush, despite how oblivious he tried to be.
He hadn't meant to hurt her when he spoke about Rose, it was just that his tongue would slip, and saying her name became more like a compulsion to remind himself she was still alive somewhere.
He knew he needed to move on, but he didn't really want to. He didn't want to force her memory to the back of his mind. He didn't want to forget her. He could still remember the look on Sarah Jane's face when she learned he never spoke of her and Rose…
"I've been to the year five million, but this, this is really seeing the future- you just leave us behind! Is that what you're going to do to me?"
"No. Not you."
"But, Sarah Jane- you were that close to her once, and now... you never even mention her. Why not?"
"I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone you..."
He should've said it. Right then and there—he should've told her what she meant to him. At the time, he didn't think it needed saying. It was obvious how he felt about her.
After the Time War, he had been so broken and alone. He hadn't wanted another companion, or at least, that was what he had told himself. But when he grabbed her hand that first time in that basement, he knew he'd never want to let go.
He had loved her in his ninth life—the way she'd look at him with that tongue poked between her teeth smile that made him feel happy and whole. She hadn't cared that his ears were a little too big, or minded his daft old face. She'd smile at him just the same.
On Satellite Five, she saved his life and he chose to die for hers. When he regenerated, he did with the hope that he would become someone worthy of Rose's love.
So he couldn't feel guilty for not being able to give Martha what she wanted because it just couldn't be helped.
What Martha failed to understand was that this life…this body…him—he'd been made for Rose Tyler.