Before anyone asks, this will NOT be a DarkraiXCressalia, as anyone who's read my only previous Pokémon Fanfic would know. From this point onwards, this space (And any other text that is bold and italized, whether at the beginning or end) will be reserved for author's notes. I will use this time to reply to reviews, state important things about the chapter, and generally make a fool of myself. If you liked "Polar Opposites", or "The First Date", by all means, read it through and flame it. Then I can shoot you down and generally laugh in your face. As in all of my stories, anonymous flames will be removed for the sake of cleanliness.
UPDATE: I read it over again and updated one thing in the paragraph after this.
Darkrai woke up in the peaceful, quiet shadows of his small cave on Newmoon Island, as always. The island, in daylight, looked like a horrible shell, covered in broken trees and stones that cast shadows that were far too long, but in moonlight, it's true beauty was revealed. He always revelled in it before he left to perform his nightly 'duties' in the name of a god he didn't believe in. He believed in an Emperor, the protector of humanity for so long, that would come into being in about 38000 years... He looked at the shadows the moonlight cast, using them as a sort of sundial. It was nowhere near as efficient as a real sundial, but it got the job done.
According to the shadows, he'd got up about an hour early. He shrugged. Most of the targets on his list would still be asleep by this time, and those that weren't... Well, maybe he could skip them.
It wasn't that he didn't want to hurt the humans. They'd caused him more pain than any Pokémon had, before and after he was transformed. But he experienced every nightmare that he gave like it was his own the next day. He always suffered at least 10 times the amount of pain he had given all night in just one of the nightmares he had to suffer through. Arceus called it punishment for deserting his kingdom to the Sinnohans.
He called it sadism, pure and simple.
Just as he was flying over the waters, on his way to the mainland (would the mainland be Sinnoh again this time? Or Hoenn? Maybe Johto? He often found his island off a new coast, the one where he would do his rounds that day) He heard a resounding crack behind him. He turned, his cloak swirling behind him, the hood on its back rustling slightly. His blue-green eyes widened in shock as he saw his island, the one that he had lived on for more than a hundred thousand years, cloven neatly in two and sinking slowly below the waves.
He let out an ear-splitting cry of shock and dismay, and immediately flew back. He searched the waters for the Pokémon that had done it. No human could do that, not yet, at least, and there was no way that had been natural. He was just in time to catch site of a blue dorsal fin with silver decorative lines pulsing gently along it.
Quickly, he cast a Dark Void. An area about the size of a Snorlax suddenly became shrouded in shadow, and the water around it began falling into it. But Kyogre had already escaped.
Trembling with rage and grief, Darkrai began to inspect the carnage. Seconds later, he stopped. There was nothing left to inspect. Newmoon Island had completely sunk beneath the waves.
"Hey Darkrai!" A pink bundle of fur and energy fell from the sky, landing squarely on his head.
Great, just what I need, another crazy Legendary created by Arceus. Darkrai thought sullenly. He was suddenly feeling very depressed, even enough to dampen the feel of his anger and sadness at the loss of his ancient home.
"Arceus says that you have to go back home!" Scratch that. He was still angrier than he was depressed.
"So now he wants me to drown myself?" Darkrai shouted, grabbing Mew by the scruff on the back of his neck.
"No, silly!" Nothing dampened emotions more than being called silly. "I mean the Hall Of Legendaries? You know, where all your fellow Legendaries live, where Dad lives... That home!" Darkrai suppressed the urge to strangle Mew.
"Why? He probably ordered Kyogre to trash my island, just so that I would have to come!" Mew squirmed slightly.
"Uhhh... About that... You see, I was actually supposed to tell you last night. But I'd had like a billion Red Bulls and I was so hyper, then my crash was like, I fell asleep instantly. So I kinda forgot. Then Arceus asked me the next day if I'd told you, and I said yes, and that you'd said yes, so he ordered the destruction program!" Darkrai tossed Mew away in disgust. Fortunately for Mew, he tossed him up, not down, so he managed to levitate again before he hit the water. "What was that for?"
"If you need to ask that, then you need to get your brain checked."
"So are you gonna go?"
"Why would I?"
"Well, you don't have a home now and all... So you'd need one, and we have a guest room..."
"Why are you thanking me again?"
"Because if you didn't come, Arceus would have eaten me! Wait, put me down! Ahhhhhh!" Mew sailed away through the air towards the horizon. Darkrai turned away, and began floating towards Mount Coronet, which was the most surefire entrance to the Hall Of Origin.
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Finally, he arrived at the top. A human would have to play some sort of amber flute or something to trick Arceus into lowering the stairs, but a Legendary only had to ask politely. Unfortunately, Darkrai had originally been a human, and therefore had technically evolved, so he wasn't classified as a Legendary. Therefore, he had to shout. Really loudly.
"ARCEUS! LOWER THE STAIRS!" Nothing happened.
"ARCEUS, I KNOW THAT THERE'S NO WAY THAT MEW COULD HAVE GOT KYOGRE TO SINK MY ISLAND, SO I KNOW IT WAS YOU! THEREFORE, WHAT MEW SAID ABOUT YOU WANTING ME TO COME TO THE HALL MUST BE TRUE TOO! SO LOWER THE DAMN STAIRS!" A set of glowing stairs appeared. Darkrai floated up them quickly, not quite putting it past Arceus to make him unable to levitate and then getting rid of the stairs.
That wasn't a very nice thought. I always thought that Arceus's distrust of you was justified. I don't know why he's letting you in now, even. Ah well. We all have our quirks. And Arceus is getting on in years.
"Shut up, Mewtwo. Stay in your own head."
Why should I? Messing with other people is so much funner!
"Remind me to give you a taste of my Dark Void when I get the chance."
That would be stupid.
"Exactly why I expect you to do it." Stumped for a sarcastic reply, Mewtwo simply shut up. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only psychic Legendary in residence.
"Oh come on... Why is it that whenever I have to go anywhere, you're always there, Cressalia? I thought I sent you to a dessert somewhere."
Hippowdon temple, yes. I got out, dad.
"Yeah, I kind of figured. Has Heatran gotten out of his volcano yet?"
Ages ago. Same person who freed me and Lucario freed him.
"Do I have to send you back?"
Years of being stuck in an ugly temple helps you realize that fighting each other doesn't profit.
Me and Heatran have decided that we both hate you more. Lucario's not taking sides, as usual.
"..." Darkrai finally reached the top. He opened the door. About a dozen angry faces waited for him. The first one to talk was, as usual, the flighty being of Emotions, Mesprit.
"Who'd you bribe or blackmail to get Arceus to let you in here?" Next up, Kyogre.
"Sorry I had to trash your island. We aren't supposed to leave any trace of ourselves, and no one told me you weren't- er, almost were still on it." Darkrai, who had almost accepted it as a valid apology, immediately chalked her down as one of the ones who wanted him dead.
"Hello, friend." Darkrai turned to see Giratina. He was one of the few that actually liked Darkrai, mostly because he was treated much the same way. "Good journey?"
"Well, Mewtwo and Cressalia decided that it was their divine right to pester me on the way up, but other than that..."
"Good. Arceus wants to speak to you."
Darkrai distinctly heard Groudon mutter "those two are gay together." Darkrai turned, finally snapping, and dropped Groudon into the Dark Void. He would come out in about 3 minutes.
"Anyone else wanna give it a try?" No one stepped forward. "Good." He followed Giratina.
Well, it's official. I suck at comedy. This might get better later, but I refuse to get a beta, so R&R please so that I can figure out how to make this better!