What if Amelia killed herself by slitting wrists? What if Willow never died? What if, after Amelia died, Willow's condition got… better?

You shouldn't have died.

It should have been me.

I don't get why you were cutting.

Something just doesn't add up.

As I sit next to your grave, I wonder where you are.

I wonder if you are in heaven.

I wonder if you are in hell.

I read online that people who commit suicide,

Are put back in this world by Lucifer.

Sometimes, they are put in trees.

The ones that had a good life.

I think you had a good life.

One that was filled with with love and care.

Maybe, everyone has different perspective.

Once a year, for the past year since you died,

The school would have an assembly,

To talk about your life.

They always ended with me giving a speech.

Last year, I was still in shock, I suppose.

I read halfway through the speech,

But in the end, I started to cry.

You had only been gone for a few weeks,

And everyone who knew you talked to a guidance counselor.

Mom made me see an outside counselor,

But it didn't end well.

So, mom had taken me out of sessions and gave me a diary.

She asked if I could write down my feelings in it.

It became a safe haven for me. Something like a sister.

Then, after a year of writing in it,

I realized I was writing to you.

The book is now buried on top of your grave.

Probably only a few inches down.

I took it with me one time I went to see you.

Then started to dig with the shovel I stole from mom's garden.

This page will be buried with it soon.

Along with the other poems I wrote to you.

I will never understand why you chose death,

But, I still will always love you.

Rest peacefully, Amelia.

- - Willow - -