So, due to overwhelming demand... I have decided to do a sequel to my one-shot, Lost to Memory. I won't let any details out, because I don't want to ruin any of it. This will be multi-chaptered, but it won't be an extremely long story. So... enjoy and please review!
If her memories are the stars in the nighttime sky, mine are the haunted empty spaces in between. ~Nicholas Sparks
"Why don't we start with why your here." The therapist said, her voice compassionate and calm, but still sounding professional.
"I think I'm going crazy." She said, burying her face in her hands. Why else would she be seeing a shrink?
"What is it, do you think, that would lead you to this conclusion?"
She breathed deep, already regretting that she had taken her bosses advice in seeking out the good doctor.
"It's not crazy, exactly. More like I feel like there are two people inside me and I know them both, but at the same time I don't."
The doctor, Claire Randall, hmm'd appropriately and nibbled on the top of her pen before writing something down on the legal pad resting in her lap.
"You say that there seems to be two people inside of you, right?"
"Yes," she replied quickly.
"That is a common feeling among many." The therapist sat her pen down on her lap and looked up, pulling her glasses down her nose. "It generally results from a type of conflict inside yourself. Tell me, are you married?"
Hermione smiled but quickly furrowed her brow as the image in her mind of her husbands closely cropped red hair quickly transformed into long, flowing tresses of white blond. The picture quickly faded back to Ron's fiery hair and she was left confused again.
"Yes," She answered shakily. "Do you mind if I have a glass of water?"
"Of course." The doctor waved her wand and a glass appeared on the low coffee table in front of her. "You seemed to have some confusion when I asked you about your marriage. Would you tell me what that was about?"
She drank deeply and then sat the glass back down in front of her. As she prepared her answer, she also prepared herself for a permanent trip to St. Mungo's mental ward.
"I think I'm an adulterer." She rushed out.
"Well, that could be the cause of feeling like there are two parts of yourself. Does your husband know that you are having an affair?"
"I'm not cheating on my husband." Hermione said calmly, betraying the rising betrayal that she felt inside. "I think I'm having an affair with my husband, although I don't even think... I don't know anymore." She finished, as her mind continued to do it's usual thing of phasing out.
She watched the therapist pick the pen back up and scribble furiously across the yellow paper, her forehead creased as she wrote out her thoughts at an alarming speed.
"Tell me, have you ever received an injury to your head?"
"Yes," she answered honestly. "During the Final Battle I was struck by a curse from Bellatrix and lost the majority of my memories. I was able to retain my knowledge of magic, but many other things are a blur."
"And, who told you about the rest of your life, outside of your schooling."
"My family and friends. Do you think that they left something out?" She asked, feeling indignation on their behalf's. "They were all quite thorough in telling me about my life."
"Does your husband know anything about this, Mrs. Weasley? Have you told him of what you've been feeling?"
"Umm, no. He doesn't. He has been traveling frequently for the past year and I haven't wanted to put any additional pressure on him. He's an ambassador for the Ministry of Magic and has been in America for the past six months. I only see him once or twice a month and I didn't want him to worry."
"I think that you should talk to him about this. Maybe he can shed some more light on why you are feeling this way. Maybe there's an issue in your marriage that has been weighing on the both of you, even if you don't realize it."
She concentrated, but couldn't think of any problems in their marriage. Ron was an exemplary husband. He worked hard, but concentrated solely on her when he was home. He did his share of taking care of the house and always asked for her opinion, no matter the subject.
"How are you sleeping?' The doctor asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.
"I sleep fine, I suppose."
"Yes." Hermione responded. "I sleep fine, I just have problems staying asleep."
"What is it that wakes you up?" Dr. Randall asked, not even bothering to look up as she started that manic scribbling again.
"Well, most nights I take a teaspoon of dreamless sleep, but it makes me quite groggy, so I don't do it every night. On the nights that I don't take it, I have these dreams."
Her mind tried to focus, to bring back up the images that usually plagued her sleep, but were now happening upon her during her waking hours as well. She could see a rough outline of a face, could almost smell the lingering scent of expensive wool and citrus. The images her mind captured were elusive and no matter the amount of focus she had, she couldn't get a clear picture.
"Is there anything in these dreams that you remember? Are they fragments from your life that your mind has simply embellished on?" Dr. Randall asked, her voice serious.
"They are so real, yet they aren't. I can't put my finger on it, but when I'm dreaming, I know, well, I think I know, that I've lived what I've dreamed."
She leaned back against the sofa as exhaustion washed over her body. The doctor was silent for a few minutes and they engaged in staring match although they weren't looking at each other.
"Well, the good news is that I don't think you're crazy." The therapist said surely. "I would like to confer with a colleague of mine. Would you be adverse to that?"
Hermione shook her head, relieved to hear that she wasn't losing her mind although she knew that she was. "Do you have an idea of what's going on?"
"I have a few thoughts, but nothing concrete. What I would like to do is meet with you again next week, if that's ok with you."
"I can't see that it would be a problem." She said, mentally reviewing her schedule.
"Also, I would like for you to keep a journal of your dreams. I think that it will help us get to the bottom of whatever is going on." Dr. Randall wrote a few more lines on her paper before continuing. "Try to be as descriptive as possible. Write down everything you can remember, be it the scenery around you, any emotions you feel during one of the episodes, everything."
"I can do that."
"Great, well, see David on your way out and he will give you the time for your next appointment."
Hermione stood up and smoothed down her taupe skirt and shook the therapists hand. "Thank-you, thank-you so much."
Dr. Randall smiled kindly and put her hand on Hermione's shoulder as they walked to the door.
"Don't worry, we will figure this out."
"Thank-you for watching James, Hermione." Ginny Potter said, balancing James on her hip as he reached his chubby little hands into the red head's hair, gripping it tightly in his fist.
"It's no problem. I don't have to go into work tomorrow so it works out well."
"We appreciate it so much. It's not very often that we get an evening out and I really want to spend as much time with Harry as possible. We haven't had that many date nights since James was born."
Hermione's eyes examined her friend carefully. "As much time as possible?" She asked, her gaze narrowing on her friends stomach. "Is there soon to be another addition to the Potter family?"
Ginny smiled brightly and rubbed her hand affectionately over her middle. "I haven't told Harry yet."
"Oh Gin, that's wonderful! How far along do you think you are?"
"A little over a month. I've been waiting to tell Harry, but when I found out last week he was in the States with Ron, so I haven't really had a chance."
She couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at her friends news.
When her and Ron had married, they had both decided to put off on having children and simply enjoy their life as a newly married couple. But lately, she had been thinking that maybe now was the time to start a family. With all of their friends now married, she had been made Godmother to several of their children and that made her long for her own.
Ginny looked at her tenderly and rested her hand on Hermione's sleeve. "Talk to Ron. I'm sure that he would love to start a family. Plus, I heard from Harry that Kingsley might have Ron back in Britain for a while. So, what better time could their be than now?"
"I suppose." She agreed, but quickly moved away from the topic. "Look at the time. You better get going."
Her friend looked at the wrist strapped around her wrist. "Oh, Merlin!" Ginny exclaimed. "I'm going to be so late if I don't hurry."
They quickly went over Jame's routine and transferred the now sleeping baby into the portable crib that Ginny had brought with her.
"I find that if he wakes up, it's best to read Oh, The Places You'll Go! And follow it up with a quick bottle."
"Gin," she said, raising her eyebrows. "I think I've got it!"
"If you need help, floo call Mum."
"Goodbye, Ginny." She said forcefully, almost shoving her friend out the door. With a little wave, Ginny disapparated, leaving Hermione alone in the house.
She checked on James and quickly cast an alert charm on the room so that if the baby woke up, her wand would vibrate. With a light kiss on his head, she closed the door and made her way into the kitchen where a steaming hot cup of tea was waiting in her favorite mug.
There was a book propped up in her lap as she leaned against the black and silver damask pillows.
"I think that you will be a wonderful mother." He said tenderly, his hand ghosting over her flat stomach, smoothing the soft flesh and tracing around her belly button.
"You really think so?" She asked as she sat the book on the stand by the bed and curled into his side, her cheek resting on the firm expanse of his chest. "I never really imagined myself having children, I guess since I've been fighting my whole life that I haven't really had much a chance to think past that."
"What's the point in saving the present if you have no dreams for the future?" He said simply and went to running his fingers through her curls.
"If we have a future, when this is all over, I want it to be with you."
The delicate china slipped from her fingers and shattered into sharp shards around her feet, the scalding hot liquid sprayed onto her denims, burning her through the heavy fabric.
She put her hand to her forehead as the vision faded out, causing a blinding pain to travel up from her arm, to her chest and then finally to her temples.
The burning in her legs didn't bother her as she tried to hold on to the memory that had flashed between her eyes. Hermione cried out in frustration as it slipped from her sight quicker than lightning. The brief image of the man remained elusive and as much as she tried, she couldn't make out who it was.
After cleaning up her burns and the mess on the floor, she checked on James, even though he never woke. As she pulled on her pajamas, she spied the notebook that she had left on the bed. The one that her therapist recommended she keep.
As a citrus like scent wafted into her nose and felt a tear streak down her cheek, she remembered this man.
She reached for a pen and settled into the covers. As she wrote, she had the most overwhelming sense of realization. This man who haunted her thoughts was someone she knew or used to know. He wasn't just a dream, he was real and she could feel him in her heart. He was the constant thrumming in her veins. A part of her life she could ignore no longer. She knew, she could feel it.
She loved him...