A/N: Wooow, three chapters in a row...something must be happening because this is somewhat of a miracle. I plan on making an actual "series" fanfic for this couple soon, I just need to think up an actual plot that works haha but in the meantime, I'll work on this series of one-shots.
This is a sort of "sequel" to the other "Sometimes I Wonder About You" chapter where Lucy narrates. I always find it fun to write in Natsu's p.o.v so I try to add him in as much as I can.
~Sometimes I Wonder About You: Part II~
Sometimes, he really wondered about her. 'Her' being a certain Lucy Hearfillia. He's standing at a crossroads, waiting for that girl. Happy is somewhere flying about talking about fish, but admittedly he's not really listening. He's waiting. Waiting for Lucy to arrive so they can head off for another mission. He doesn't quite remember what the mission even was, but just knows it's going to be just the three of them. Like it should be.
In any case, Natsu finds himself thinking about his partner and realizes he's not quite sure what to think about her in the first place. For some reason he just felt like thinking about her a little more than usual. She was kind, sure, and always willing to help others. She was so selfless it was crazy! She'd get beaten up just because she didn't want to leave him alone, that freak. Spouting some nonsense about how it was more fun to be together or something.
Even though she was right.
It is more fun when they're together.
Seriously, Lucy was an oddball and she didn't even know it, but a good one.
Was he in love with her? Natsu wasn't all too sure; he loved her as a nakama, sure, but more than that? Now that was a topic he wasn't all too prepared to dive into. Maybe it was because he didn't want things to change, he honestly didn't know. Call him a coward, fine, but that's just what he thought.
He always wondered if she felt that way about him and, from time to time, he really did think she did. Then she'd go and bat her eyelashes at some bookworm she met at the bookstore and he wasn't too sure anymore.
Not that he was jealous, mind you, just wondering.
He wondered why she even liked guys like that. All smart and lean, like a freakin' girl! He would look at his own beefy arm and then at the guy in question and glare at the slender arms he had. What in the world did Lucy see in guys like that?!
Lucy was a freak for liking guys with noodle arms.
Heck, Natsu couldn't even count the number of times he's saved her. Risked his life for her on more than one occasion, and she's still looking for some knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet! Hello, what the hell does she think he's been doing all this time?!
Then again, he can't really blame her for not noticing his efforts. When all is said and done, at the end of the day he'd only be hurling on her shoes on the way home—not that he hasn't tried to hold it in or aim it at Gray's shoes instead. It just so happens that his head would conveniently be on her lap, so he couldn't exactly maneuver himself fast enough.
Dammit, why did Dragon Slayers have to have such a lame weakness? He was nearly invincible anywhere else! Okay, so he's a little full of himself but that's generally only when Lucy is concerned.
Natsu liked to think he was a bit of a hero in her eyes.
So, maybe he just needed to step his game up or maybe Lucy just needed to stop liking guys with weak looking arms, because something had to change.
He really wondered what went on in her mind, especially when regarding him. Did she think about him as often as he did about her? As wussy and stupid as that sounded, he really did think about her a lot. Mainly about things like taking her fishing with Happy or going on missions, or what he could do to make her smile…stupid things like that.
Hey, he was a guy what else were you expecting? He didn't do flowers, never gave girls chocolate and certainly did not serenade to them. Sure, he'd wear a flower necklace every once in a while but only because she'd put it on him. He'd burn it on accident but at least he'd wear it for longer than ten seconds.
He wondered what she did when she wasn't with him, which was somewhat impossible since she was always with him. He made sure of that. So sure, he sounded like some stalker but really, when your best friend tells you to stop doing something your only reaction is, "hmm…I should do that again and see what happens!"
Or at least, that's how he's always reacted.
So he wondered, if given the chance, what in the world did Lucy do without him? She'd probably read books or write that secret novel she won't let anyone but Levy read. Goddammit, why did Levy get to read it but not him?
He found her!
It was unfair and he even told her so before. She just scowled at him and said that the last time she let him read something of hers he turned it to ashes. Okay, so maybe he did but it wasn't like he was going to do it again! And it was mainly Happy's fault anyway!
He wondered what her opinion of him was, other than annoying or loud, he already knew that. He knew she thought he was irritating sometimes and obnoxious, but evidently not enough considering she's always with him. She always chose him. Which, admittedly, made him feel rather proud.
Of course she'd choose him! Why shouldn't she?
He wondered if she noticed him trying to be braver then he usually was when he knows she's somewhere nearby? Natsu was a courageous guy by nature and he'd jump into any situation, regardless of how stupid it might be, without much care in the world and come out victorious in the end. But with Lucy around, he'd put in that extra punch or kick just to show off in front of her.
So he's got a bit of a hero complex when around her and he'd rather be seen as some tough guy. Because, in the end, he wants to stick out amongst all the bookworms she seems to want to go after.
If he did that, she would surely never forget him.
He wondered if she ever had a crush? If there was ever a guy in her life that was pretty much him just not—well, him. Did she have a best friend before him? He really wanted to know. He had Lisanna before he met Lucy but, that was somewhat different. Or at least, he considered it to be different. They were kids and like kids, they flirted without really knowing what the words even really meant. Hell, he didn't even know Lisanna liked him back then!
Lisanna was—is—special to him. Will always be special to him. Gods knows how excited he was to know she was still alive!
But Lucy...well Lucy is just more special? He didn't exactly know how to put it. Natsu was never a man for pretty words. If he had to choose someone as his partner for life though, someone he had to be with every waking moment, he'd choose Lucy hands down. And it isn't because he's scared of Mirajane going 'Satan Soul' on him or anything, hell no.
He just wanted Lucy and he wanted her to want him too.
When he thought Lisanna was dead, he was devastated. He even got angry at anyone who mentioned her, even at Lucy. But now that he thought about it…he felt kind of bad for snapping at her like he had. Not like Lucy knew what had happened and he sort of just took it out on her. But, you know what? If he lost Lucy, Natsu wasn't too sure if he would have strength enough to even be mad.
He'd just…shut down. Game over.
He'd probably just sit in front of her grave everyday and tell her stories or bring her books that he think she'd like. She'd like something like that, right? Natsu would even go so far as to build a freakin' house right next to her grave just so he could live beside her. Just so he knew she was somewhere near him. But that's depressing, thinking about what he'd do if she died.
Like he'd ever let that happen. He'd rather die then lose her like that. He'd fight a war all by himself if it meant keeping her alive. Her very existence was something he felt was required for his world to stay intact. For any world really, because every world should have a Lucy in it just to make it that much kinder. Because Lucy was kind and she was always willing to stand with him and fight.
Losing Lucy, having Lucy die is a terrifying thought even if it's hypothetical. He just didn't want to even imagine what it would be like if she did. He'd burn the whole world to a freakin' crisp if it ever endangered Lucy.
He'd do it all for her. That's how different she was from anyone else he knew.
Of course he'd risk his life to protect his nakama. He'd become angry if he thought someone was threatening them and hell, he'd fight against the world if he thought it was trying to destroy his guild. But for Lucy, he'd go above and beyond even that. He'd torture and burn anyone who even thought about hurting her, he'd done it before. He'd set that phantom lord member on fire until he told him where Lucy was taken.
But again, that's depressing and downright crazy. A world without Lucy? That could never happen!
Actually, now that he thought about it—what would Lucy do if he died? Would she move on? She'd probably cry for years, knowing her. She was just that kind of person. He felt kind of horrible for wanting her to mourn him forever, just so she wouldn't replace him with someone else. A part of him wanted her to move on and be happy, because he always wants her to be happy.
An unhappy Lucy was just…unnatural.
Another part of him, and he considered this to be the darker side of him, just wanted Lucy to continue mourning him. Maybe not forever, but longer than everyone else. Just because he wanted her to remember him forever. The thought of being forgotten, especially by Lucy, terrified him. Natsu didn't want to think about Lucy becoming close to anyone other than him. Just the thought of her doing the things she did with him with someone else made his stomach hurt.
He'd protect her forever if he could.
He would live and die protecting her. And the Guild, of course…but Lucy came first.
No, now that Natsu has had more time to think about it, he's decided he won't die. Because Lucy's already lost so much already, her mother and her father…he didn't want to have to put her through that experience again. So he'll try to stay alive for as long as he can, just so he can be with her. Just so she didn't have to experience losing anyone else.
But Lucy was strong. Is strong. Not just as a mage but as a person. She's one of the strongest people he knows. Even when she felt sad or discouraged, she'd give that brave smile of hers regardless of the pain. She'd trudge along like it was nothing just because she knew there were people that needed her. People like him—and Happy, Erza and even stupid Gray.
He'll protect that happiness as strongly as he would her life.
He's in the middle of wondering about her, about the Stellar Mage that has left him so stumped, when said girl springs up from behind with a cheerful, "Hey Natsu! Did you wait long?"
The Fire Dragon Slayer nearly jumps out of his skin and whirls around to see the girl of his thoughts beaming up at him. Happy is floating over to her (hell, Natsu had nearly forgotten the Exceed was with him) and is excitedly chatting away with the blonde teen. For a moment, all Natsu can do is just stare at her. All the thoughts he's had up till now has only but solidify his resolve.
Lucy's smile and life were two things he would fight the world to protect.
And he wondered if she ever really noticed.
"Sorry I took so long," Lucy says, digging into her little backpack as she talks. "I had to run by Porlyusica's earlier!"
Natsu quirks an eyebrow at her, watching with mild curiosity as she takes out a small vial and shows it to him proudly. He asks, "What is it?"
With a pout, Lucy rolls her eyes at his ignorance. "It's a potion silly! It's supposed to help you with your transportation sickness; I've got another one in my bag, one for the trip there and one for when we come back!"
Again, all Natsu can do is just stare at her dumbly. She had gone to that Porlyusica? For him? Seriously? He can't help but grin stupidly, all too pleased that she would face the wrath of Porlyusica just for his sake.
See where he's getting at? Lucy was just too kind for her own good!
"What did you have to do in order to get that?" he asks, eyeing the vial now with suspicious eyes. Lucy blushes a bit and he catches the little glint of panic in her eyes. He scowls, if Porlyusica wants Lucy to do something she doesn't want to—the old woman's got another thing coming to her! He didn't care if she was a friend of the old man!
"Luce—"He begins, but is effectively cut off by a flustered Lucy.
"It's sort of embarrassing but," Lucy says, biting her bottom lip nervously, "I actually had a little help from Gajeel."
"You—what? Why Gajeel?" Natsu inquires, now more confused then ever. Why didn't she ask him? Granted, the gift was for him but still...Lucy should know that Natsu would be more than willing to help her, no matter what it was about!
Lucy frowns. "Well I mean, she's sort of scary and he's sort of scary so I figured…two negatives can make a positive? In any case, I was able to get the potion so that's all that matters!"
Natsu straightens up, not all too convinced but grateful for her efforts. He decides to drop questioning her (for now) and accept her gift. "Well, thanks then!"
He grins at her, trying his best to show her how much he appreciates her gift. Really, leave it to Lucy to make him happy any day! She always knew what to do to make him happy.
As they're walking to the train station, Happy decides to ask the question that Natsu has been wanting to know for a while.
"So what was the price for that?" the Exceed asks.
"Eh? For Porlyusica or Gajeel?" Lucy replies, taken aback.
"Both?" Happy says.
"Oh um…I have to clean Porlyusica's home for a month and um…Gajeel, well," Lucy pauses, a dark blush on her face once again. Natsu inwardly twitches at the sudden change in demeanor.
"What did Gajeel want you to do?" he asks, trying his best to not sound angry.
Lucy looks up at him, twiddling her fingers nervously. "W-Well, promise not to laugh, okay?"
"Is it something funny?" Natsu inquires.
"He wants me to dress up as a bunny girl the next time he performs a song," Lucy says, her voice going into a soft squeak.
And, for what seems like the hundredth time—Natsu is left stumped by the Stellar Spirit mage. Finally, he breaks out into a loud laugh that leaves Lucy rather miffed.
"Hey! You said you weren't going to laugh! You jerk!"
"Lucy…you're such a dork, you know that?"
"I—I don't want to hear that from you! Is this the thanks I get for—"Lucy snaps but is cut off when Natsu leans towards her, face ever so close. She fights the urge to blush but knows she's failing miserably.
"Thanks Luce, I mean it," Natsu says, his forehead connected to hers. "And you know what, just so you're not alone up there on that stage, I'll dress up with you! Bunny outfit and all!"
Lucy smirks at him. "I don't really know if that makes me feel any better—but thanks?"
Satisfied, Natsu flashes her a wide grin. "Anytime!"
"What a cute coouuupppllee," Happy coos, effectively earning a glare from Lucy.
Truth be told, Natsu couldn't agree more.
A/N: Well, there it is! The sixteenth chapter! It's slowly but surely being updated :) hoped you all liked it.