Get Well Soon (You Big Baby)

Skwisgaar Skwigelf was not supposed to get ill. Ill was for regular jack-offs who didn't want to go to work; if Skwisgaar didn't feel like 'working', he didn't bother getting out of bed (unless Nathan beckoned (because he could probably pluck the lithe guitarist from his bed and fireman's lift him to the studio, regardless of the over six feet of flailing that would no doubt ensue) or that Robot Butler started to nag (because he was worse than a mother)). Today, however, Skwisgaar was suffering from a quite literal case of not being able to get out of bed. Everything ached. His blond hair had matted to his face with sweat, but the temperature of the room felt far too cold, even for someone who had grown up surrounded by snow. His head throbbed, he felt nauseous, he could barely swallow: this wasn't the usual hangover (he had gone to bed early with no booze or female companions the night before, anyway); Skwisgaar Skwigelf was officially ill - which explained the night before, when he came to think of it.

Abandoning the idea of getting out of bed, he flopped back down, wrapping himself up in his fur blanket. Eyes peering out from the top of his cocoon, he reached across to his Dethphone. This was all the Butler's fault. He was in charge of keeping them out of harm's way - how could he have failed to protect Dethklok's lead guitarist from some tiny, little germs? That was pretty sloppy. As such, it was his job to sort it out. Skwisgaar called Ofdensen, his throat instantly regretting having to talk.

"I ams ill and not gettings out of beds. Brings me some medsgacines." Without so much as waiting for a reply, Skwisgaar hung up with a groan, pushing the phone out of the top of his blanket. He was pretty sure no one had ever felt this ill before; even their summer colds weren't this bad, and they ended in leeches and blood-letting. Skwisgaar shivered and tried to fall asleep. He didn't expect to be able to, what with his head so bunged up and even his eyelids aching, and when he heard the sound of a Klokateer being dismissed in loud, not-quite-correct English, he knew he wasn't going to be getting to sleep anytime soon. The door was pushed open noisily.

"Skwisgaar! You's OK?" Toki knelt down next to the bed, talking to the top of Skwisgaar's head as he attempted to pull down the top of the fur blanket. Skwisgaar was holding on tight.

"If you's just here to goats, go aways."

"Goats? I came to helps you!"

"Then help by leavings. Dumb dildos."

"Big babys."

Skwisgaar's face emerged from within the blanket. "Fucks you. Gos and gets me some pills," he ordered. "Froms a doctor; not Pickle," he added as an afterthought.

"What ams wrong with yous?" asked Toki, placing his hand on Skwisgaar's forehead. Skwisgaar quickly swatted it away.

"Everything. Now gos."

With a roll of his eyes, Toki got up and left.

And was soon replaced by Charles standing in the doorway.

"You doing OK?"

"I ams in beds, trying not to throws up. How d'you thinks I am doings?"

"Ah... Yes. Can I do anything for you? Fetch a doctor? Get you to the hospital wing?"

"You could gos away?"

Charles sighed. "Fine. For the record, I tried."

Skwisgaar was left alone again once more. He curled back up in his blanket, sniffling, wishing he had some tissues to hand: using bedclothes as a tissue was far too Murderface for Skwisgaar to even consider, even in his hour of need. Nothing for it but to breathe through his mouth, attempt to fall asleep and hope for the best.

"I'm back!" Of course, he was also expecting the worst. And here he was.

"Thinks you could leaves again? Dat'd be greats."

Toki ignored him and handed him two tablets and a glass of water. Skwisgaar struggled to prop himself up on his elbows and forced the pills down. Skwisgaar handed the empty glass back to Toki, who placed it on the floor. He appeared to be not leaving.

"Thanks you, nurse. You cans gos now," Skwisgaar said, but Toki didn't take the hint. Of course he didn't. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a thermometer. He took off the protective case and held it in front of Skwisgaar's mouth.

"What de fucks, Toki?"

"Opens your mouth."

"I'm not puttings anythings from your jeans into my mouths. Sorry to diskappoints."

Toki shoved the thermometer past the sneer, anyway, and disappeared into Skwisgaar's bathroom. Skwisgaar figured that taking his temperature probably was a good idea - until he remembered that he couldn't actually breathe through his nose. He took it out and waited for Toki to return, listening to the sound of the running tap in his bathroom. Toki returned with a wet flannel and a box of tissues. Skwisgaar half-expected Toki to hold a tissue to his nose and tell him to 'blow'; luckily, he didn't.

"I didn'ts hear de 'beep'," said Toki, taking the thermometer from Skwisgaar. "What did it saids?"

"A millions billions degrees," Skwisgaar lied. "Totally brutal."

Toki placed a hand on Skwisgaar's forehead again, as if he didn't believe him. Skwisgaar didn't bat it away this time. "Wowee, you ams really hot, Skwisgaar."

"I appreskiates the compliments, but I's not really in the moods right now." Skwisgaar blew his nose.

Toki threw the cold, wet flannel at Skwisgaar, hitting his eyes as well as his forehead. "I'ms just tryings to help you, stupid dildo." Toki wiped the thermometer on Skwisgaar's bed, replaced the cover, then put it back in his pocket for safekeeping.

"Helping amn'ts metal," Skwisgaar countered, rolling the flannel up from his eyes and throwing his tissue at Toki (although it fell well short of its target).

"Catching de colds like a babys amn'ts metals either. You's making us all looks bad. What if you can'ts play tomorrow nights?"

"I don'ts care. Too sick to cares. Now go aways." He closed his eyes, hoping that Toki would get the message. Judging from the fact that he was still kneeling there when Skwisgaar cracked an eyelid open a minute later, that was too much to ask. Skwisgaar sighed. He was too tired and not well enough for this. "Toki, please. I don'ts need babys-sitting. Leaves me alones."

"But I wants to helps you!"

"OK, fines. Do whatevers you wants. Just be quiets and let me sleeps." It was like having a puppy, Skwisgaar decided as he looked into the pleading eyes of his fellow guitarist. A big, stupid puppy. Skwisgaar closed his eyes once more and was relieved to hear the sound of Toki's footsteps. They stopped, and Skwisgaar didn't really care why.

Until he felt someone get into bed next to him.

"De fucks, Toki?" Skwisgaar was still wrapped up in his blanket, so Toki couldn't get too close, but the fact that he was in Skwisgaar's bed at all was... Well, slightly unnerving. "You better be drunks right nows, or dis ams just too fucking weirds."

"I'ms a real sloppys mess, OK? Just gos to sleeps."

Skwisgaar would have loved to have stayed awake and argued, but he was just too tired - perhaps the tablets were kicking in and making it worse - so he finally gave in and went to sleep. He didn't even complain when he became vaguely aware of the feeling of Toki's fingers softly stroking his face; he had hazy memories of his mother doing something similar once upon a time. She was probably drunk at the time, or maybe it had happened back when Skwisgaar was young enough to be cute and not just an inconvenience. It wasn't something that happened often, at any rate. Nevertheless, the feeling of Toki's fingertips (as battle-scarred from musical duels with Skwisgaar as they were) against his skin felt comfortable and soothing, in spite of the nagging worry in the back of his semi-somnolent mind that if another member of the band had walked in on them, they would have likely never been allowed to live it down. Then again, all Skwisgaar would have needed to do would have been to blame Toki. Because it was his fault, really. Skwisgaar eventually drifted off to sleep, cursing Toki and his stupid, reassuring fingers.

Toki retaliated by waiting until he was certain that Skwisgaar was properly asleep before he replaced his fingers with one delicate brush of his lips against the Swede's cheek.


For a fleeting moment when he awoke again, Skwisgaar was bewildered (and slightly alarmed) to find himself waking up next to Toki with a pounding headache. He let out a sigh of relief when he remembered why Toki was there (even if he was getting his boots all over Skwisgaar's fur blanket). He still felt awful, however. He must have slept through any good the tablets did him, and now he had to drag himself to the bathroom thanks to that glass of water. (Actually, shouldn't he have been keeping his fluids up? Toki was a useless carer.) He disentangled himself from the blanket and pulled off the wet flannel from where it had slipped down onto his hair. Toki really was useless; he'd even fallen asleep himself! Skwisgaar steadied himself on everything available as he tottered to his bathroom. It took the sound of the toilet flushing to finally wake Toki up.

"You feelings OK?"

Skwisgaar didn't reply until he was back in his bedroom once more. He was rubbing his eyes, his face still flushed a bright red. "I thinks I worse." Skwisgaar uncovered his eyes to find Toki making a pointed effort of looking anywhere but at him. He'd forgotten that he was still completely naked (not that he cared). He collapsed face-down onto his bed. Toki gave him a concerned look that he couldn't see.

"Can I dos anything else for yous?"

"I thinks you ams dones enough. Just mades me worser. Pfft."

"I tried. So ungratefuls." Skwisgaar couldn't see Toki pouting, either.

"To whats, kills me? Well, congratskulations, you can bes new lead guitars: thinks I'm dyings."

Skwisgaar could feel the atmosphere in the room change.


"I said, yous caring for me makes me die. Dumb dildos."

"Don't... Don't say things like dat!" Toki quickly got off of Skwisgaar's bed. Skwisgaar arched his back to get a better view, interjecting with his fellow guitarist's name, but to no avail. "Stupid jerktits," Toki continued, stomping out of the room (he probably would have slammed the door if he'd been able to), leaving Skwisgaar to wonder what the Hell had just happened. It wasn't as if he had seemed angry as such; it was more - afraid? But about what? Skwisgaar had no idea. All he knew was that he needed more pills and he was starting to suffer withdrawal from his Explorer. He summoned a Klokateer who fetched him what he needed and he lay in his bed, his guitar resting on his stomach. His lethargic fingers moved lazily across the strings, tripping over frets. 'Might as well die,' he thought; 'sounds dildos'. He sounded even worse than Toki, and that was something he didn't even want to consider. Defeated, there was nothing for it but to try and get some more sleep, his Explorer by his side like an uncomfortable but no less comforting teddy bear.

Skwisgaar tried to and wished that he could fall asleep, but his thoughts kept wondering back to Toki. What was with that outburst? Skwisgaar was used to the eccentricities of Toki's character, but this one had him stumped. He couldn't even remember what he had said that had upset him. Something about him making things worse? Perhaps he was just on vacation to crysbaby's house again?

Whatever the case, he was more trouble than he was worth. Skwisgaar cursed him under his breath yet again and pulled the blanket around himself more tightly.



Skwisgaar opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of Toki smiling all too sweetly at him. "Oh, it's you. You still de crazys?"

"I brought you some soups. 'Sposed to helps," said Toki, brushing off the insult.

"What, you wants to be my mothers or somethings? I don't wants the one I already has; definitely don't needs another one, pfft." Skwisgaar sat up regardless, pleasantly surprised at the fact that he was feeling slightly better. Toki removed the guitar from the bed and sat in the empty space. Skwisgaar looked at him with one eyebrow raised.


"You amn'ts going to spoon-eatings me, are yous?"

"What? Why woulds I dos dat? Pretty weirds dat you thinks I woulds."

"I can'ts never tell with you." Skwisgaar took the soup from Toki and ate a spoonful. "Ams pretty good. Probablys. Can'ts really tastes anythings."

"Dat's a shames. Well, anyways, I gots to go. Sees you laters."

"You nots goings anywhere 'til you tells me what dat was dat you ams being weird abouts earlier," said Skwisgaar, pointing his spoon at Toki.

Toki winced, almost imperceptibly. "It was nothings! You knows how I ams: I was just beings crazy old Toki!"

"Pfft. Thinks I knows you well enough to knows dat you ams hiding somethings." Skwisgaar looked pointedly at Toki. His big, stupid puppy of a sort-of-friend looked as if he'd just been kicked. He sat back down on the bed. He didn't say anything, so Skwisgaar kept on eating. It wasn't until his last mouthful that Toki started to speak.

"You said dat my carings for you makes you die."

"Ja, so what? I ams not dead, amn'ts I? What's de problems?"

Toki sighed. "My carings does make people die. Dat little sick goils? I killeds her. My piano teachers?"

"Guitar teachers."

"Shuts up and listen! Dat guy: he died. I forgived my Dads and he died. Evens my cat!"

"Probably just coinskidentals."

"But what if it's not?"

"Den stops caring. Caring ams not metals, I tolds you before."

"I can't stops caring!" Toki raised his voice.

Skwisgaar folded his arms. "Being in Dethklok ams like being one of dose guys in dose animals documents: you ams not supposeds to get involved. No emotionals, no gettings attached."

"I knows dat! I just can'ts..." Toki sighed once more and looked down at the floor. "I cares about you, Skwisgaar."

Skwisgaar curled his lip. "Ugh, Toki, do we has to do dis? You ams sounding pretty gays right now."

"I don'ts fuckings care! It's de truths. I cares about you more dan whats I cares about anyone else, stupid assholes! Dat's why I losed it when you said I killeds you." Toki's eyebrows knitted with worry. "Maybe de more I loves something, de more I makes it die..."

"To be truthfuls, I feelings a bit betters. Maybe you don'ts care so much after alls." Skwisgaar reached forward and forcefully patted Toki on the back, feeling the need to inject some testosterone back into the conversation.

"No," said Toki, almost sadly, "no. I thinks I dos."

Skwisgaar's hand slid down Toki's back as his arm grew heavy with exasperation. "Dat's really not metals, Toki."

"You said you cares about me!"

"What? When? Doesn't sound like somethings I would be sayings."

"When I was friends with Dr. Rockzo and you was all mads at me. You saids it den!"

"You remembers somethings like dat?" Skwisgaar had absolutely no recollection of ever saying such a thing. It was probably rather telling that Toki could remember him saying it.

"I knows you cares about me, Skwisgaar." Toki had a determined look on his face. Skwisgaar was suddenly feeling worse again and decided to beat a hasty retreat.

"I needs more restings," said Skwisgaar, laying back down with a heavy sigh. Toki began to move up off the bed, Skwisgaar's eyes already closed. "You can stay if you likes."

Skwisgaar hadn't meant to say that. He put it down to a bout of delirium-induced niceness; it was too late to take it back now, anyway. Toki was quick to take advantage of Skwisgaar's congeniality, however, sitting back down on the bed straightaway. Skwisgaar felt the mattress shake as Toki kicked off his boots. Toki clambered over him surprisingly gracefully, Skwisgaar half-expecting his legs to be crushed as Toki climbed over to the other side of the bed. He carefully pulled back the blanket and crawled in next to Skwisgaar. Not exactly what Skwisgaar had envisioned, but fair enough. There was no point arguing with him, anyway. At least he'd taken his boots off this time.

Skwisgaar could feel Toki edging closer to him, culminating in an arm reaching out tentatively to his waist.

"Wowee! You ams still wearing de birthday clothes!" The arm was quickly retracted upon this discovery.

"I ams in bed - course I nots wearings nothings. If you don'ts likes it, gets out of my beds!" Skwisgaar had a sneaking suspicion that Toki did like it, and that was the problem. Toki's next move could have had major ramifications - awkward ramifications that Skwisgaar was not in the mood to face. Skwisgaar suddenly wished he was feeling well enough to kick Toki out of bed. As things were, however, Toki made his move.

He placed his arm around Skwisgaar's waist. "I wants to stay." Unsure of who had the upper hand anymore (Toki might have been lovesick and seemingly naïf, but Skwisgaar was, indeed, sick, naked and pinned to his bed by a well-muscled arm), Skwisgaar decided to just give in. It was quite nice (in a shameful, completely non-brutal way) to have someone showing such affection to him. Even if it did come in the form of Toki.

"OKs, you can stays. But no getting a boners!"

Toki laughed and nuzzled in closer. "I promise."

The fact that Skwisgaar warned himself against the exact same thing both confused and intrigued him.


"Hey, Toki, y'in here?"

To be fair to Pickles, it wasn't his fault that he burst through the door. The members of Dethklok had always been the type to say 'knock knock' and enter regardless, usually without the 'knock knock'. It wasn't as if the members kept secrets from each other, mainly as they always had a way of being found out; the others could mock on the proviso that they were liable to become the butt of a joke at a later date. The whole world knew about Skwisgaar's love of GMILFs; if that was the worst he was going to find (and Skwisgaar was ill, anyway), Pickles would risk barging in. What actually greeted him upon his entrance, however, was something for which he hadn't bargained.

Skwisgaar and Toki (who'd also fallen asleep again) were awoken by the sound of Pickles stumbling through the door.

"Oh, hi, Skwisgaar, how ya feelin'? Have ya seen... Oh my Gahd, is dat Toki?"

"Oh, hi, Pickle!"

Seemingly unable to decide whether to go with 'furrowed brow' or 'raised eyebrows', Pickles went with both. Toki was still smiling.

"Do I wanna know what's goin' on here?"

"I'ms just makings Skwisgaar feels better, dat's all."

"In a totally not gays way!" added Skwisgaar quickly.

Pickles threw his hands up, as if in defence (or perhaps defeat). "I'm naht here ta judge, jest... Uh... Why was I here again?"

"It ams ancient Vikings thing!" Skwisgaar continued, unprompted.

"What?" It was Pickles that said it, but Toki also shot him a glance that said as much.

"Ja, totally brutals. On de long journeys at sea, if one of dems gots ill, another one would share body heatings with him to stop him from dying. Warm him up with manly, murderous spirits, you know, totally brutal."

"Oh, so Vikings gaht lonely on dere lahng journeys!" Pickles sniggered.

"No! Dis ams totally metal ways to gets better."

Pickles raised one pierced eyebrow. "You know I don't believe ya at all, right?"

"Dat's kinda racist, Pickle," Toki finally chipped in.

"It's a weird European thing, I gaht it. Seriously though, guys, it's kinda... Well, really gay."

"Gets out of here!"

"OK, OK." Pickles went to leave the room, but stopped and turned back around. "Oh, by the way, Toki? We were ganna rehearse, but I'll tell the guys you're... Uh... Busy. Bye!"

"Pickle, wai-" Pickles had left the room before Skwisgaar could finish. Skwisgaar groaned and pushed his head back into the pillow.

"Well, dats was awk... Awkw... Not so goods."

"De rest of de bands is going to think we ams beings a couple now probably. Idiot!"

"I'm sorrys! I was just tryings to help..."

"I knows, I knows..." Skwisgaar let out an angry sigh.

"How ams you feelings, anyways?"

"I was beginnings to feel betters, but not so much anymores. Great jobs again!"

"But you were feeling betters though, right?"

"I suppose I was," Skwisgaar conceded.

"Dat's great!" exclaimed Toki. "I didn't makes you worse: I help mades you better!" Toki cuddled up to Skwisgaar, almost as if it were an impulse reaction.

Skwisgaar pushed him away. "Toki, stops!" Toki shot him a hurt look. They were becoming more and more compelling. "You cares about me, I gets it. Just... go dos it somewheres else. Dis is why dey thinks we ams gay!"

"You's such a jerk! I'm justs being a friends!" Toki knelt on the bed, balling his fists.

"What yous ams being is creepy!"

"Shut up! I'm glads you's ills, stupid dildo! You deserves it!"

"Oh reallys?" Skwisgaar sat up. His head was still swimming, but he had more important matters to attend to.

"Yeah! I hates you!" Toki snapped.

Skwisgaar snarled, grabbing the front of Toki's shirt and pulling him closer. Toki's eyes widened as Skwisgaar crushed his lips against his. Skwisgaar's gaze remained steely as Toki's eyelids eventually fluttered shut. It took Toki a moment to open them again once they had finally parted.

"Wowee..." Toki was swooning. He was like some starstruck, infatuated groupie Skwisgaar had charmed (though not a GMILF: they were a lot more calm and collected around Skwisgaar, the allure of the rock star not as effective on women who regarded Dethklok as 'that awful noise my grandchildren listen to'), but somehow worse because this was Toki, and all he'd done was kiss him. If they had gone any further, he probably would have cried ('stupid romancetics dildos' thought Skwisgaar) ,which was almost incentive enough to try. Now was probably not the time, however.

Toki threw his arms around the blond. "I'm sorrys, Skwisgaar, I don't means it: I don't hates you at all! I loves you, Skwisgaar."

Skwisgaar patted Toki on the back in an attempt to end the hug. "Dat's great, Toki."

"I knows you cares about me, toos," Toki replied, not letting go. "Why else would you kisses me?"

"Uh, Toki? What was we doings before dat?"

"Havings de argument."

"Dat's right. And why ams you here in de firsts place?"

"Because you's ills... Oh, fucks you, Skwisgaar!" Toki pushed Skwisgaar aside and got off of the bed, grabbing his boots on his way to the door.

Skwisgaar smirked. "I'll comes plays nurse for yous tomorrow if you ams likes," he called after him.

"You better has!"

Peace and quiet, an argument won and a new avenue of opportunity opened up before him: Skwisgaar was starting to feel a little better. He fluffed up his pillow, lay back and went to sleep.


"Good mornings!" Skwisgaar knocked and entered without waiting for a reply. He was feeling considerably better than the day before, but still would not have considered himself healthy. He did have that spring in his step that one gets from knowing that there's someone else worse off, however.

"Gos away, Skwisgaar," mumbled a voice from within a duvet. "I hates you right nows."

"Don'ts be like dat." Skwisgaar crossed the room, ducking under low-flying model aeroplanes and perched on the edge of Toki's bed. "I wants to says 'thanks you' for lookings after me yesterdays."

"You's welcome. Now leaves me alone."

Skwisgaar could tell from Toki's tone of voice that he was sulking. Why not make things worse? "Aww, what's wrong, little Toki?"

"You knows what de problems is - you gaves me diseases!" Toki turned over in his bed to face Skwisgaar. He didn't look best pleased; Skwisgaar was sure even the teddy bear Toki was clutching was glaring at him.

"Dere you gos, you am copies me agains!"

"I'm not copies you, stupid! You infectioned me. Like de zombies!"

"Dat's... Dat's actually pretty brutal."

"Shut up!" Toki turned back over again.

Skwisgaar rolled his eyes. He couldn't decide whether Toki was acting more like a diva or a small child. Same difference, really. He leaned across and placed a hand on the lump of duvet.

"OKs, I'm sorrys. I shouldn'ts has made you catch de 'flus." Though it was pretty funny and you totally deserved it, he forgot to add. "Cans I dos anything to helps you?" There was no guarantee that he would follow through with the request, but he would at least offer. He wasn't a complete dick, after all. They remained in silence for a moment. Skwisgaar had to wonder what was taking so long. Pills, doctor, hot drink... There wasn't much to consider. "Comes on, Toki, you ams be well by de times you decides."

Toki turned back around once more, this time without his ursine companion. "I wants a hugs."


"Dos it! Come ons! Now!" Toki sounded pissed off, and Skwisgaar didn't feel like pushing his luck: he'd seen Toki angry, after all - what a concert that had been. And if wounded animals are more dangerous...

Skwisgaar huffed in annoyance before pulling back the duvet and sliding in next to Toki. It half covered him, his monogrammed-bathrobe-clad back left exposed (because he did have the decency not to wander around Mordhaus naked (at least this time, anyway)). "Your bed ams too smalls, Toki." His expression changed to a smirk. "No wonder you never haves anyone ins it." Sometimes, he just couldn't stop himself.

Toki narrowed his eyes at Skwisgaar. "Just gives me hugs."

Skwisgaar grudgingly put his arms around Toki. He felt about as hot as Skwisgaar, although Toki's temperature was on the way up and not the way down, but Skwisgaar felt more a feeling of 'serves you right' than one of sympathy. Still, he had managed to get into Toki's bed; Toki never had been too good at picking up on the subtleties of the ulterior motive. Yesterday had been a real eye-opener for Skwisgaar and, never one to turn down the chance to get laid, he figured that he might as well make the most of Toki's little crush; being nice to him now might pay dividends in the future. He was doing him a favour, really: Toki would probably die a virgin otherwise - any groupies granted an audience with Toki probably spent their nights sorting model aeroplane parts. Skwisgaar's intervention was definitely a goodwill mission.

Toki nuzzled against the soft material covering the Swede's shoulder as Skwisgaar slowly and gently stroked the other guitarist's back. It was peaceful and friendly, but it was uncharted territory: yesterday's 'affection' had been accompanied with the usual bickering; this was something else entirely, a terra incognita. Skwisgaar hoped that their Viking blood would give them the impetus to explore, even though their ancestors probably would have put an axe through their heads for all of the cuddling. Brutal.

"You knows, Skwisgaar," Toki said at last, moving his head back up so he could look the Swede in the eye, "if you thinks I copies you, I should dos it propersly." Toki's eyelids were heavy with fatigue, illness - and maybe something else? There was no time for any extensive reflection on the matter, however, as Toki went in for the kill. Skwisgaar responded immediately in kind as Toki pressed his lips to his. This kiss quickly developed further than the last: Toki shoved his fingers into Skwisgaar's hair (which, luckily for Toki, Skwisgaar had decided to wash the aftermath of the height of his fever out of before he paid him a visit) and Skwisgaar's fingers traced the scars on Toki's back, his hands occasionally daring to slip underneath the waistband of Toki's boxers. Growing bolder still, Toki's kisses began travelling downwards, his lips and tongue hot against Skwisgaar's neck as he slid his fingers through the blond hair, his hand finally coming to rest next to the other to work on untying Skwisgaar's robe. They were feverish before they had even started, but Skwisgaar had to admit that he was enjoying this. He'd given up on expecting tears from Toki now, silently disappointed that Toki had grown a pair and taken the initiative. Still, he did not feel the need to complain as Toki wriggled down further underneath the covers, his mouth exploring Skwisgaar's chest and his fingers tracing patterns on his abdomen, working their way down ever lower. Skwisgaar rested his hands on Toki's head, resisting the overwhelming urge to just push him downwards and tell him to get on with it. If this was Toki whilst he was run down, Skwisgaar couldn't wait until he was feeling better.

"Wowee!" he heard from under the covers as he felt the soft fabric of his dressing gown being pushed up over his thigh and out of the way. He smiled to himself, not entirely surprised at Toki's reaction (he often heard similar exclamations from a lot of his ladies), but he was still grateful for the compliment. He was surprised, however, to find Toki's head popping out from the top of the duvet once more only seconds later.

"Wowee!" Toki repeated. "I'm such one ill and tired guy!" He reached behind his back for his discarded teddy, placing it between them. Skwisgaar looked at him in disbelief. "I'm gonna take a nap." Toki placed an arm over both his bear and Skwisgaar, pulling them close and closing his eyes.

This wasn't what Skwisgaar had expected. He'd come in here with nothing but (apparently) good intentions, but just when things had started to heat up and he was actually getting somewhere, someone had decided to play a mean trick on him! Seriously, what a douche-

Oh, now he got it.

"Toki, you... Stops copies me!"

Toki didn't open his eyes; just smiled, obviously still awake.

"Oh, fucks you, Toki." If Toki hadn't squeezed him even more tightly and completely squashed his arms, Skwisgaar probably would have punched him. Toki wasn't supposed to be devious and underhanded and sneaky like this; he was supposed to be virginal and innocent! This new side of Toki was... Oh, who was Skwisgaar kidding? It was a giant turn-on. Which was just what he didn't need right now.

"Toki? Can I come in? I need to talk to you about this new endorsement deal."

He also could have done without that.

Answering was tantamount to admitting that he was in there; not answering would end in Charles opening the door anyway to double check. The most sensible course of action was for Toki to get rid of him.

"Toki, tells him to go aways," Skwisgaar hissed at the man still smiling calmly behind the teddy bear.

"Sorry, Skwisgaar," said Toki, not opening his eyes. "Someone gaves to me de cold whats hurts my throat so I can'ts speaks dat louds."

"... I really hates you right now."

The door was opened. Skwisgaar had his back to the door so couldn't tell for certain, but, judging by the footsteps, Charles didn't make it very far into the room. "Toki, are you in h- Skwisgaar?" Of course, Skwisgaar couldn't see Charles's face, but he could imagine the look of surprise.

"Ja, hi." He couldn't exactly deny it.

"You're half-naked. In Toki's bed. With his arms around you. Is this something I should know about?" His expression was probably priceless.

"Nope: it's nothings. We's just pallings around, you know."

"Huh. I guess Pickles was right after all." 'Drummer battered to death with own drumsticks' did have a nice ring to it, Skwisgaar decided. "You sure this is nothing?"

"It's nothings!"

"Well, anyway, Toki: I'll, uh, come back later. And Skwisgaar?"


"I think it's safe to forego the paternity waiver on this one. Get well soon."

Toki finally burst out laughing as Charles shut the door behind him.

"I don'ts sees what ams so amusings. Now everyone definitely thinks dat we ams boyfriends!"

"So? Dat's not so bads."

"Yes it is! It ams not trues!"

Toki let go of Skwisgaar and poked him accusingly in the chest with one finger. "Den why ams you in my bed rights now? And yous kisseds me yesterday. I thinks you wants to be my boyfriend!"

Skwisgaar let out a derisive snort. "I kisses and sleeps with lots of peoples: you thinks I am dere boyfriends, too, huh?"

"Dat's just sluts." Toki removed the bear from between them and sidled up close once more. "Dis is me. I'm differents. You even looks after me when I'm not feelings so good. It's like you loves me or something."

"Pfft, dumb dildo. Go backs to sleep."

"Ams you gonna stay?" Toki used his tried and tested puppy dog eyes once more. "I still needs looking afters."

Skwisgaar sighed. "OKs. I'ms not exactly healthy yet, eithers."

Toki smiled and wrapped his arms around Skwisgaar once more; this time, Skwisgaar returned the favour. "Get wells soon, Skwisgaar."

"Get wells soon, Toki." Skwisgaar placed a kiss on Toki's forehead. "Den maybe we finish what we starts before."