Torn Pants

"I don't quite know what to make of this particular goal anymore."

"Mm. As his boyfriend, I'm starting to think I should be worried."

"I hear you guys! Still don't care. I'm gonna do it this time." James was in the process of stretching out pieces of fabric in canvas frames as he spoke. It all looked like typical super hero spandex, but on close enough inspection there were variations.

"Did you actually go to Gambi for swatches?" Piper asked, startled at James' thoroughness.

"Yep. Even had him narrow it down to the ones he thinks are most likely to be used by Flash. I'm totally going to figure this out." Once they were satisfactorily stretched he started throwing gimmicked rubber chickens at the swatches.

Len shrugged, then excused himself to case a museum. Mark walked into the hideout with his nose in a book, backed up, and then put the book down and raised an eyebrow. "What's...?"

"He's determined to rip the crotch out of Flash's suit."

"...why?"

"Because splitting the seam of your pants is funny, dammit! I'm totally not the only one who thinks so. Now stop bothering me. This is serious work." He made a note on his clipboard and then started whacking the swatches with exploding yo-yos.

"I don't think it counts as torn pants if you blow up the fabric."