Yay this is my first humor/parody story in about 2 years! :)
So please read.
It was a morning quite like many Saturday mornings. Yako had once again been late in coming to the office.
"I have a reason!" She cried indignantly as Neuro pushed her skull into the hard of the wall, punishment for arriving late.
"Oho?" Neuro questioned, one of his eyebrows edging up. His smile curled evily. "Why not tell me, slave? If not I can always use your head to make a nice little window in the wall. You know we can always use more light in here."
"Are you kidding?" Yako muttered. "One whole wall is a window." She felt her head press against the wall with a bit more applied force. "Ow, ow, alright!" She sighed. "I think I know what your ultimate mystery is."
At this, Neuro burst into a horrible cackle. "You? -hahahah- You have found my ultimate mystery? Your brain is smaller than a beetle's! And you're horrible at lying, Yako. I know that's not the reason why you're late. I know it's because you went for food. I smell that disgusting mocha on your rancid breath."
"Your breath doesn't exactly remind me of flower meadows either." The girl muttered.
Neuro pulled away from Yako, turning swiftly on his heels. "However I'm interested in what you have to say about my food." Suddenly Neuro spit, sending a small wad of saliva to land in front of Yako's feet. The acid burned a growing hole in the floor. Surprised, Yako grimaced as she saw the apartment below.
She was at a loss for words, really not knowing what to say to the demon that towered over her. His eyes looked crazy.
Feeling rather umcomfortable, Yako stuttered, "Uhm.. The ultimate mystery is... The world? Existence? Life? What happens when you divide by zero?" She lied. She had no idea!
Neuro stood silent, as if he was thinking about Yako's words. "Hmm... The meaning of existence and imaginary numerals are very mysterious indeed."
Yako let out a nervous laugh as Neuro's attention was drawn away from her torment. The demon was murmuring, "I have never really taken an interest in arithmetic, but... 777 Tools of the Demon Realm: Evil Calculator!"
Suddenly Yako felt a spark of fear deep inside her. Was Neuro going to attempt to find the ultimate mystery by dividing by zero with a demon world calculator? This just has to end badly.
"Yako, I suppose we may as well go in search of this mystery, even if you are wrong." He smiled his evil smile. "But anyway, good work, coming up with this idea," he said while smacking her on the back of the head.
"No, no, no, no, no! Neuro don't do it!" Yako screeched in reply, trying to take the tool away from him. Neuro simply had to lift his arm higher, and Yako was failing even worse to snatch it out of his hand.
"Why not, bread-crust?"
"Don't you know it's impossible to divide any number by zero on a calculator? And no one can do it in their heads either. Not even you!" Yako said, jumping again to stop Neuro's hunger-driven madness. "And no one will know what will happen if you divide by zero on a demon's calculator! The world's going to implode or something!"
"Ah," Neuro said smoothly. "You said, 'no one will know.' So it's a mystery then. Perhaps even the greatest mystery."
So that was it.
There's no stopping him when he had his mind set.
"Fine," Yako muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. "Fine. Just do it. Kill us all."
"I'm going to type in the numbers," Neuro declared in a normal tone.
Out of curiosity, Yako asked, "What number are you dividing by zero?" She stood on her toes to barely peek over Neuro's shoulder. When she saw what the demon had wrote, she almost fell over in shock.
The number was the sideways 8. The symbol for infinity.
Neuro was dividing infinity by zero.
Just as he was about to press the = button, the demon looked at her with starving, swirling eyes that showed a hint of lingering craze.
It was then when Yako knew she was done for when he said,
"The mystery is on the tip of my tongue."
Reviews are much appreciated.
I promise I will update soon.
~Groves of the Pass'd.