Disclaimer: If I owned Lie to Me, we'd have heard all of Cal and Gillian's conversation outside ;-)
No More Secrets
He's kept things from her before; usually when he was in trouble, or doing something she'd disapprove of. He kept her in the dark about the trouble he was in with Terry, he told Reynolds not to let her find out he was gambling in Vegas, he went to illegal underground fights without telling her. He investigated her boyfriend behind her back.
Sometimes she feels like banging her head against the wall or screaming at him for all the secrets he keeps from her, but then she knows she has her secrets too. Isn't that what the line is for? So they can have private lives? They might be best friends, but they're entitled to their privacy, their secrecy, if that's what they want. His secrets frustrate her, though, when they impact on her, or the company. Infuriate her, even, especially when his life's on the line and he won't let her help him. But there are moments when she can't bring herself to feel anything but affection for him, moments when he does let her in and she feels that closeness, treasures it. His mother's birthday. She knows the date – how many other people do? He let her read him, see his apology. Their communication was brief, alien to some, but made perfect sense to them. And for all the secrets he keeps, the things he does share with her warm her heart. Because Cal Lightman is a private man, and she knows it. But he shares more with her than anyone; she knows that, too. And yet he still has his secrets.
No more secrets. She'd be happy with that in life; no one having secrets, no one lying to her. If Cal were to trust her more, not be afraid to show her his weaknesses and fears, not lie to her every time he does what he thinks is best for her – that could be a good thing for them. But if no more secrets means everything is going to be divulged, every unspoken truth that lies between them is going to be laid bare, then she has reason to stop and think. Because there is a secret lurking between them that she has never dared to say aloud, she hasn't even let herself think on it too much. If he's truly going to shed the last vestige of deceit between them, and the truth – all of it – is going to flow, then it will change everything.
The secret. That one. He might be a master liar, but she knows him well, has spent enough time with him over the years, is observant enough to pick up some of the clues, see things when he thinks she isn't looking, pick up on things when he lets something slip. A glance here, a comment there. His over protectiveness, his jealousy, his vulnerability.
She wonders how much of her secret he's seen. Somehow she feels she's better at hiding it than him; perhaps because she's more in denial. But maybe he does see it. Maybe it's not so secret after all.
No more secrets means the biggest secret between them – the one she has suspected for so long, but tried to ignore – could be exposed. And if it is, there will be no more hiding behind masks, no more pretending, no going back. There's no undo button on spilling a secret like that.
No more secrets. If that means this particular secret is going to come out, it could be the end of everything. Or, just maybe, the beginning.