Summary: Hades needs to contact his outfitters… A short one-shot set just after Percy fights Hades by the Styx after his dunking in Last Olympian. Because the idea wouldn't go away. Rated for gods sans vêtements.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them.
Note: I love Hades. He is far and away my favourite character. When he arrived on the scene at the end of Last Olympian, I did a victory dance. (Honest, my brother will vouch for me.) But as soon as I read the above-mentioned part of the book, this idea came into my head.
Persephone swirled her spoon around the soggy strands of grain in her bowl. She was getting seriously sick of shredded wheat. Would it kill her mother to let her have pancakes for breakfast once in a while? She would even make them wholegrain pancakes if that would make the agriculture goddess any happier; anything but this blasted cardboard breakfast cereal. What Persephone needed, she realised, was a surprise. Shredded wheat was about the only breakfast cereal in existence that didn't come with plastic toys in the boxes. Anything to make breakfast more interesting, she pleaded...
Almost as soon as she had thought this, Persephone got her surprise when her husband materialised in the breakfast room.
It was not unusual for Hades to materialise in his breakfast room in Erebos. It was even less unusual for Hades to materialise in his breakfast room in a foul mood.
What was unusual, however, was for Hades to materialise in his breakfast room both in a foul mood and stark naked.
In the seat beside her, Persephone saw her mother's jaw drop open. Persephone sighed and, dropping her spoon into her bowl with a satisfying clang, she reached out and covered her mother's delicate eyes with one hand.
"HOW DARE HE!" Hades thundered. "One little dip in the Styx and the boy thinks he's ready to take on ME! The Lord of the Underworld! A GOD!"
"Darling…" Persephone began, trying to pacify her lord. The last time that he had been quite this angry, they had not been able to repair the ceiling damage for nearly a year, and it still creaked rather ominously whenever the self-proclaimed Lord of the Underworld had had a particularly bad commute to the gates.
"I mean," Hades went on, ignoring her, "I might have been more lenient if it not been for the fact that MY OWN SON had given him the idea in his thick skull to go for a swim in MY river in the first place!"
"Darling…" Persephone's hand was getting tired, and if Demeter's mouth stayed open any longer, she would start drooling over her shredded wheat. Persephone shrugged inwardly. Maybe that would make it taste better.
"Can you IMAGINE what would have happened if one of THEM lot up there," here Hades pointed accusingly at the ceiling and Persephone sighed, "had seen that little escapade?"
"I don't care," said Persephone. "What I care about is the fact that you're standing there ranting without a stitch on, and in front of my mother no less."
"AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING! Does he have any idea how much time it takes to get one Soulcloth woven, let alone an entire set of robes?"
A small, slightly frightened sounding exclamation came from behind Hades, who roared "WHAT?" before turning round to face the interloper.
There was silence for a moment and then the god disappeared, leaving Nico standing before the breakfast table. The boy mirrored his grandmother's open-mouthed image, and he looked even paler than before, if that was indeed possible.
For the first time since being introduced to her stepson, Persephone felt truly sorry for Nico di Angelo.
Note2: What did you think?