AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was in the mood for some fluff and was inspired by my FF icon, which I found while browsing my favorite Sick!Wilson fics. I don't know who created it, but I bow down to you and hope you don't mind that I used it for a ficlet :)
"No…no…and hell to the fuck no." House flipped through Wilson's DVD rentals with disgust. "I should've sent Thirteen to pick a movie. Actually, I should've sent her to film one. Of herself. Naked."
Wilson rolled his eyes, emerging from the bedroom in a brown t-shirt and sweatpants. "We agreed this was going to be movie night, not porn night."
"An agreement I was manipulated into by your ridiculous hair and chocolatey eyes of goo," House grumped, secretly enjoying his lover's late-night rumpled look as an amused smile crossed Wilson's face. He peered at the next DVD in the stack. "Edward Scissorhands? Seriously?"
"It's a beautiful movie about love and acceptance." Wilson flopped onto the couch and reached over to grab the popcorn from the coffee table. "He's not that different from you, you know."
House glanced down at him. "I was going to have Taub work his magic and replace my hands with scalpels, but then I realized it'd be too hard to steal your food."
"He's got scissorshands, you have a bum leg, and neither of you fit into society. It's all the same."
"Right. Except I'm actually of use to society, which is why Cuddy keeps me around…that, and she needs me to validate her breast size every two hours." House plopped down next to Wilson and grabbed the remote. "Netflix to the rescue!"
"What? No!" Wilson scrambled to retrieve the remote in vain.
House smirked. "Just because you decided to take a trip to the Stone Age and rent movies from an actual store doesn't make it more romantic."
"Yes, it does," Wilson pouted. "What's more romantic than popping in a movie and snuggling up with some popcorn?"
"Borat!" House replied gleefully, already scrolling through the Netflix options.
Wilson groaned. "Borat is offensive and disgusting."
"Luckily for me, that seems to be what you're attracted to." House glanced over, hiding a smile as Wilson sighed and crossed his arms. His lover was never cuter than when he was sulking.
"Do you really want to watch Eddie Scissorfreak?" he relented.
Wilson cautiously raised his eyes. "Are you…volunteering to watch it?"
House retrieved the DVD stack from the floor and waved the rejected titles in front of his lover. "Casablanca? Gone With the Wind? Titanic? Either you're a hundred years old, or you're actually a woman. Or both."
"They're classics," Wilson frowned. "And Titanic isn't that old."
"Yeah, but you'll get angry when I start comparing your perfectly-coiffed hair to Leo's."
Before Wilson could reply, House hoisted himself off the couch and hobbled over to the DVD player, inserting the movie.
"You're actually picking Titanic?" Wilson said, surprised.
House shrugged, returning to the couch. "Did I mention the ridiculous hair and eyes of goo? Anyway, there's sex and a killer iceberg. I think that's as redeeming as we're going to get tonight." He settled the popcorn bowl in his lap, wrapping his arm around Wilson as the oncologist curled up and snuggled into his shoulder. "Comfy?"
"Mmm." Wilson rested his head on House's chest, reaching for some popcorn and chewing contentedly. "You?"
House planted a kiss on Wilson's head. "If you're happy, I'm…"
His voice trailed away, and Wilson smirked. Some things never changed.