A/N: Disclaimer: I would rather own David Tennant :D
Another broken computer. Technology hates me.
I currently have no beta and I don't have the foggiest clue about ships so any inaccuracies are all my fault.
Canon is A/U series 2 with Jack.
Chapter 1 – Holidays From Hell
"Aww, he's asleep!" Rose said happily as she watched the Doctor lying curled in on himself on the sunbed, eyes closed, fast asleep.
Jack smiled with utter glee. "Can we draw a moustache on him?"he asked, already reaching for his marker pen.
"No!" Rose replied, laughing. "I bet he's still knackered from Zerus. I think those things chased him for three hours."
The Doctor suddenly squeaked in his sleep, turning over and lying spread-eagled on the sun-bed, his hand dropping off of the bed and hitting the floor before he settled down again. Rose carefully reached forward and lifted his hand to rest on his chest without saying a word.
"What's the time?" Rose suddenly asked, turning to Jack.
He checked his manipulator. "Almost 4pm. Better start heading to land."
She nodded as he got up and headed towards the ship's bridge. The whole holiday thing had been her idea – they had needed it, frankly. Running from aliens was fun but she had her limit, and even though the Doctor had seemed a little disconcerted at the idea to begin with he had eventually agreed and suggested a boat cruise, just the three of them, on the beautiful island of Cha'po on the planet Kaila. And he'd been right – it was beautiful... and so relaxing even he had managed to fall asleep lounging on the deck with the twin Suns beaming down on them all.
The landscape with beautiful, grass of a rainbow of colours thick and healthy on the distant cliffs and hills. The sky was a perfect blue like Earth on a beautiful day. The landscape was completely natural and unblemished by lifeform intervention, even the sea was a beautiful mix of blues all coming together in a spectrum of natural beauty.
Rose knew she'd have to wake up the Doctor soon, but frankly he looked so relaxed and cute that she just couldn't bear too. She so rarely got the chance to watch him sleep that it was a bit of a shock to the system when she'd first found him drooling on the sun-bed, the one she'd actually been occupying minutes before she went to get a drink.
"Umm, Rose?" suddenly came a voice from the bridge and she looked to find Jack poking his head out, looking slightly nervous.
"Umm... Small question. Do you... remember which direction we came from?"
Rose stared at him, her eyes suddenly wide. "Are we lost?"
"No!" Jack answered instantly, confidently. "We're just... in need of a map."
Rose got up and crossed to the bridge, looking around at the controls without the foggiest what any of them did. Without really thinking she pressed a button on the panel, and suddenly a deafening horn rang out in a ear-piercing scream around the ship.
"Aggh!" three people yelled in shock, the one who was not on the bridge shooting up off of the sun-bed and panting for breath, his fists raised... until he realised there was nothing trying to kill him. He noticed the two people on the bridge and quickly got up and poked his head in the doorway.
"What's going on?" he asked. Both of them turned towards the Doctor, both trying to look as innocent as possible.
"Have a nice nap?" Rose asked, smiling.
"Yes, what's going on?" he repeated, eyebrow raising.
"Jack got us lost," Rose replied simply and quickly, subtly moving to stand on the Doctor's side.
"What?" Jack was totally flabbergasted. "I didn't..."
The Doctor cut in with a sigh. "Which direction did we come from?" he asked, moving over to the controls of the boat. There was total silence.
"Don't tell me you don't know," the Doctor said, eyes wide.
"Well you were the designated driver," Jack countered with a shrug.
The Doctor groaned, running his hand through his hair. "I can't even nap with you two! Okay. We're heading north at the moment. Let's turn this boat around and head back south. I know we did a few turns but if we keep going we should hit dry land."
"We're lost, aren't we?" Rose asked for the nineteenth time as the three of them sat in a circle on the deck of the boat playing a game of cards. It was 9pm and they still hadn't found a hint of dry land.
The Doctor pulled a grin of positivity. "So we spend a night out on the water. It'll be fun! The night sky is beautiful. Just look at it."
All three looked up at the sky. It was covered with black clouds, progressively getting closer to them...
"See?" the Doctor said brightly. "Beautiful."
"Aren't those storm clouds?" Jack asked.
"Not at all," the Doctor continued, still beaming from ear-to-ear. "They're beautiful, dark clouds."
"They're storm clouds, aren't they," Jack stated more than asked.
The Doctor pulled a face. "Umm... yeah."
"So lemme get this straight," Rose began, looking slightly panicked. "We're in the middle of the sea on a flimsy boat completely lost without a hint of dry land anywhere and a massive storm is about to hit us which will probably rip the boat apart?"
The Doctor pulled a face. "A very good summary. Well done, Rose!"
"Well done?" she shrieked, sounding a little bit like her Mother.
The Doctor shrank back in fear. "If you want someone to blame, blame Captain Jack Sparrow over there." He pointed at the ex-Time Agent, who was a little more than surprised to get dragged into this.
"It's not my fault!" Jack protested. "'Oh let's go on holiday!' Rose said! 'It'll be fun and we can bond!' I don't see any bonding going on!"
"There will be bondin' when I smash your face into the deck!" Rose shrieked, making a lunge for Jack who dodged.
"Rose! Jack!" the Doctor began in protest with his arms raised to try and get a sense of calm, but only succeeded in turning Rose's anger onto him.
"And you!" Rose screamed, jabbing her finger at him. "You're the one that said this place would be great!"
"I'm not the one who got us lost!" the Doctor squeaked in protest.
"Are you saying I did?" Rose screamed.
"Careful, Doctor!" Jack stage-whispered. "I think she's on her period!"
"What did you say?" Rose turned back on him. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"No wonder she locks herself in her room five days a month," the Doctor muttered under his breath. "Okay, Rose, Jack, calm down!" he yelled, getting onto his feet. "I think we're all flying off the rails with a little cabin fever, here. The first thing is, we need to calm down and try and remember that we're all friends. Second thing is, this boat is pretty strong. We'll be fine in the cabin and we can ride it out until morning if, and this is my third point, if the storm actually hits us. It's not raining, it might pass over us..."
And as if on cue, the heavens opened and drenched him where he stood. The ship rocked wildly from side to side, and suddenly Rose turned very green.
"I don't feel well," she murmured, and then ran to the side of the boat where she threw up, very loudly, into the sea below.
The Doctor sighed. "I'll try the radio again," he said, and disappeared back to the bridge.