A One Woman's Man

Summary: Kyouraku is a flirty playboy, right? Rangiku thinks he's a one woman's man and the only one suited for him happens to be Ukitake. But he's a guy, right? This calls for a more hands-on approach.

Pairings: Shunsui/Ukitake

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters associated with the Anime of Bleach.

Warnings: Juushiro Ukitake is dictated as a female in gender in this story. Yes, I am well aware that he is male in both Manga and anime, but work with me here.

AN: Hello again everyone. Yep, another oneshot from me. I also forgot to mention in my last update that I have written a Lemon Ichigo/Ukitake oneshot for a prompt that one of my readers directed me to. The link is on my profile for anyone who is interested.

Well now, I hope you'll enjoy this oneshot and do let me know what you think if you like it. Thanks in advance.

Rangiku was curious.

Shunsui Kyouraku had been her drinking partner for many years now and she had witness, and encouraged, many a scandalous thing from him. She has seen him chase, pursue, outrageously flirt with any and all things female.

However, she has never seen him leave with a sweet little something on his arm. Heck, with all his flirting, he hasn't even made an attempt to kiss anyone!

Many individuals thought of Kyouraku as a cad, a skirting-chasing playboy and a drunkard with low morals. But that really wasn't the case, something Rangiku had learnt rather quickly through silent observation. Sure, he liked to chase the women, but that was all he did. No inappropriate touching, no cuddling, no kisses; nothing!

Upon asking him why he liked to flirt, Kyouraku told her it was simply a way to help ease the tension that his lovely young ladies had gathered during the day. And to also lift up their self-esteem, to help them realise how wonderful they are and how they deserve only the best.

Hearing that made her coo and pinch him on the cheek.


So that led Rangiku to an obvious dilemma. If he wasn't flirting to have some sexy fun with the ladies, then that must mean he was already tied down to someone. And if that was the case, who could it possibly be?

Whoever it was had to be female, in Rangiku's mind. How else would a man know exactly what to say and how to say it without receiving a kick to the groin? And she had to be patient to be able to put up with all his flirting, drinking and general laziness that he was renowned and damn proud of. Not to mention highly intelligent to be able to keep up with him mentally, engaging in childish and flirty banter he enjoyed so much.

She also had to be highly powerful to match his own as well as very trustworthy as Kyouraku would have only those he trusted with his life to guard his back.

Going over the list in her head and even writing it down when she was supposed to do her paperwork, Rangiku could think of none of her fellow woman who matched his list, ticking off each item. Captain Unohana was strong in both mind and skill, but Rangiku had witness first hand that Captain Unohana wasn't that patient with Kyouraku's flirting.

Especially toward her Squad members.

Re-reading her list, Rangiku soon came to the conclusion that there was only one person suited for Kyouraku, someone he valued more than his own life, someone he would willingly go to war for and someone he would drop everything to be with the moment he got sick.

Yes, that person was none other than Captain Juushiro Ukitake.

Captain Ukitake effortlessly ticked off everything she had written down on her list of who was Kyouraku's perfect partner. All except one; he was a man.

Wasn't he?

Now, Rangiku had absolutely no problem with same sex relationships, in fact she would coo over them. Finding Shuuhei and Renji in a rather scandalous position together was nothing short of delicious; and the way they stutteringly answered her probing questions, simply adorable.

But she couldn't shake this little voice in the back of her head telling her that she was right on her first assumption, that Kyouraku's ideal secret partner was a woman in gender. And also on the assumption that Captain Ukitake was actually a woman in hiding.

Man or woman, Ukitake being with Kyouraku was spicy no matter how you look at it.

Still, she wanted to know the truth. Her curiosity will not let it die until she learned one way or another. This called for her to be bold, to be daring, and to be sneaky so that her captain doesn't find out she was skipping her paperwork again.

Captain Hitsugaya could be such a stick in the mud sometimes!

Finding the beloved captain of the 13 guard squads wasn't all that difficult, getting him alone on the other hand was nigh impossible! Why did he have to be so popular and loved by all? Honestly, trying to get a juicy secret out of him won't be easy with his two third seats hanging about like vultures.

Don't let their appearance fool you; they were deadly.

Her patience finally paid off when she cornered the long-haired captain in front of his koi pond. Actually, it appeared that he let her corner him on purpose, probably sensing that she had wanted to speak with him in private all day!

Deciding not to waste a moment longer, Rangiku fearlessly approach the captain of Division 13 and planted herself in front of him. Narrowing her eyes in high suspicion, Rangiku boldly leaned forward, well into Captain Ukitake's personal space. She had her hands on her lovely round hips as she peered up at him, eyes searching and lips pressed into a pout. Despite the man before her being a captain, she had no fear. Had she tried this with any other captain, she was certain to be reminded of her place and severely reprimanded.

But this was Captain Ukitake, the kindest and the most friendliest of all that reside in the Seireitei.

Blinking his soft brown eyes at her sudden boldness, Ukitake looked oddly bemused at the woman before him. "Can I help you with something?" he asked her with a smile.

Rangiku continued to stare at him in suspicion before slowly started to circle him, making thoughtful humming noises as she held her chin in her hand as the other stayed on her hip. She was looking, studying, searching and learning quite quickly that Captain Ukitake really didn't fit into such loose and baggy clothing. He was a tall and skinny man, so those robes practically swam on him.

Now, there were tailors that could sew a kimono to the right size, so why would Captain Ukitake wear something so unflattering and floaty?

And his face was long and angular, slightly wrinkled around his eyes from years of smiling and laughing, as well as mourning, seeing too much suffering. He had quite high cheekbones, his skin quite youthful and natural; he had a rather beautiful, and all too feminine, face.


"Matsumoto-kun?" Ukitake questioned, this time with a sense of unease in his voice. "Is there something wrong?"

Standing up straight, Rangiku planted her hands on her hips once again as she smiled brightly up at the gentle captain. "Just one more thing!"

Then, without any warning what-so-ever, Rangiku moved forward and placed her hands on Ukitake's chest, her fingers sprawling out so she could feel as much as she can. And what she did feel, confirmed her suspicions; Captain Ukitake had breasts. Sure, they were being restricted with thick bandages, but no matter how tight they were, no bindings could truly ever suppress a chest of a full grown woman.

As soon as Rangiku's hands made contact, Captain Ukitake released this noise that sounded just like an eep of utter surprise, her eyes widening considerably as she jumped backwards, away from her. A light blush adorned her cheeks, her white hair falling over her shoulders in a cutely bewildered way in a sign of how quick she had reacted to the surprising pat-down.

"What are you-?"

"I knew it!" Rangiku said happily as she took a step back and pumped her fist into the air in a sign of triumph. "It makes perfect sense now!"

"S-sense?" Ukitake surprisingly stuttered, appearing utterly mystified and embarrassed. Her current expression gave the indication that she wasn't expecting that sort of reaction for the vice-captain.

Giggling in a way that could only be described as girlish, joyous glee, Rangiku turned back to the frazzled and confused captain in ready to explain her actions when a new, deeply manly drawl interrupted her.

"My," Kyouraku said as he strolled casually into view, his straw hat shading his eyes, of which he carelessly pushed back with the tip of his index finger. "What's going on here?" he asked smiling.

Whirling around on the new comer, Rangiku pointed a triumphant, somewhat smug finger in his direction and declared loudly; "I know your secret now, Shunsui. You're really a one-woman man, aren't you?"

And her smile on grew wider when Kyouraku granted her with a confused look, blinking a couple of times at her before turning his attention to Ukitake. "Hmm?"

Lifting a hand to curl a strand of hair behind her ear, Ukitake returned his gaze with her own, engaging in a silent conversation before sighing. "She knows, Shunsui."

Rangiku jumped slightly at the soft, airily and undeniably feminine voice that came from Ukitake's direction, and yet it didn't sound like the tone of voice she was so used to. At first she was confused before it finally dawned on her; that was female Captain Ukitake's voice!

And she practically squealed as she whipped around to face her. "Oh my god, your woman's voice," she all but gushed. "It's so soft and airy, isn't it?"

A shy smile appeared on Ukitake's lips and she gave a very subtle one shoulder shrug, appearing a little uncomfortable with the attention she was receiving.

"Let's discuss this inside, shall we?" Kyouraku suggested as he came to stand protectively by Ukitake's side, indicating to the open door to her office with a tilt of his head.

Nodding, Rangiku turned around to practically lead them to the office, all too eager to hear their story.

However, the two captains were, without a doubt, feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the situation, so Rangiku made sure to keep her tone, her appearance and her spiritual presence light and bubbly, proving to the two oldest captains that she meant them no harm.

"Ok, now spill," Rangiku said cheerfully as she plonked herself rather ungracefully upon the tatami matts, looking entirely too eager to hear the gossip. "I want to know everything!"

Kneeling upon the matting in a graceful air, Ukitake folded her hands upon her lap as she waited for Kyouraku to descend next to her before answering any inquires. And when she finally did open her mouth to speak, she answered in short and precise manner. Honestly, they were beyond the point of being discreet, especially just after how...tactless Rangiku was in her investigation.

"Shunsui and I are indeed together," Ukitake informed her with a small smile, her eyes taking on a warm sheen when Kyouraku reached across to take her hand in his.

Rangiku leaned forwardly expectantly. "Married?"

The corner of Kyouraku's mouth twitched into a smile while Ukitake blushed prettily, her smile growing a little more amused. "We, ah, eloped some years ago," she explained. "No one really knows about us except for Captain Unohana and a few others that no longer reside in the Seireitei."

They eloped? How precious and rebellious was that? And yet, so totally like the two of them. She could just imagine all the trouble and mayhem they had gotten themselves into during their youth.

However, that led her to another question. One she had to ask carefully.

Training her eyes upon those of Captain Ukitake's, Rangiku lowered her voice respectfully as she may, or may not be poaching on a delicate subject. "Are you hiding your gender, Captain?"

Ukitake remained silent for a moment, her lips pressed together in thought before breathing out slowly. "Yes and no," she admitted. "Yes, that was what I was initially doing when I enrolled into the academy. I was already seen as weak and fragile, had everyone known I was a woman as well I would have been harassed until I quit."

Rangiku found herself furrowing her brow at that, cross before feeling disbelief and annoyance that people could be so judgemental about appearances. "Really?"

"Things were a little bit different back then, Ran," Kyouraku answered her, his gaze taking on a suddenly dark look.

"Of course," Rangiku replied quickly. He was right; it was 2000 years ago since these two captains were in the academy, after all. "Go on."

"But after that it became more of a health thing," Ukitake explained further, somewhat looking pleased about the change in topic. "You see, the bandages around my chest help somewhat with my breathing, limiting me to how much I can do so I don't put as much strain on my lungs."

"Oh, right, because of your illness?" she recalled. Well, it wasn't like she had forgotten completely, it was just sometimes easy to forget that Ukitake had an illness on days such as today where she had a healthy glow about her and a spring in her step.

"That's right," Ukitake said with an understanding smile, appearing to be feeling more at ease as the conversation progressed. Even Kyouraku was relaxing further, even going as far as scooting closer to Ukitake, all but slumping drunkenly against her.

It took all that Rangiku had not giggle and take a picture.

"I had at first tried to remind everyone that I am actually a woman," Ukitake said, rolling her eyes a little in exasperation that Kyouraku was mumbling something in her ear. "But after repeating it so many times, having this conversation more times than I can remember, it gets a bit... monotonous."

"I suppose it would," Rangiku nodded in agreement before her expression turned slightly irritated and she placed her hands on her hips in a disgruntled fashion. "I mean, I can't even begin to count how many times I had to say my girls were real."

Kyouraku laughed and whispered something into Ukitake's ear again, but what he said caused her to send him a slight frown and then punched him on the leg. She then rolled her eyes toward the ceiling and sent Rangiku an empathetic look.

"Quite," she simply said.

"Now, why don't you start?" Kyouraku said as he wrapped an arm around Ukitake's waist and rested his chin on her shoulder again, he gazing through half-lidded eyes at Rangiku. "How did you know?"

"I worked it out all on my own," Rangiku began to explain happily, feeling a great sense of pride at her ingenious. "You see, I was thinking the other day about how you always flirt with the ladies and yet I have never seen you do anything else, like kiss them or something. I then began thinking that maybe you were actually already with someone, possibly secretly married. So, I then started to list all the attributes your secret partner must have to able to put up with you."

"Put up with, hmm?" Kyouraku asked in mock hurt, which caused Ukitake to give a surprisingly girly giggle before shushing him and signalling for her to continue.

"And then as the list got longer and longer I realized that that your partner had to be a woman, but no woman I know could tick off everything on the list I made," Rangiku stated as she reached into her bosom and pulled out the list she had indeed made herself, flashing it at them in a showy manner. "In fact the only person who did was Captain Ukitake."

Casting her gaze over the list, Ukitake looked mildly amused and then smiled warmly. "So you put two and two together?"

"Right!" Rangiku boasted cheerfully. "The more I looked at you the more I came to realize that you had to be a woman. You had a certain sway of the hips like a woman does."

"She most certainly does," Kyouraku said in a husky voice, his hand moving around to squeeze Ukitake's side in a way that showed her knows every curve, every sway, every movement of her body all too well.

And the blush on Ukitake's cheeks confirmed that.

This time Rangiku did giggle out loud. Maybe she could get some deliciously heated stories from Kyouraku in the future. After, they had been together for a long time; he had to have some tales to tell.

Suddenly, Kyouraku turned his attention back to Rangiku and smiled slowly, appearing impressed even. "You're a sharp one," he complimented.

"Yes," Ukitake was quick to join in, she too smiling that warm smile of hers. "You're actually the first person to discover us all on their own in two thousand years."

"Two thousand years?" Rangiku repeated, her eyes nearly popping out of her head. "Oh my god, you two have been together that long?"

"Yes," Ukitake said simply, placing her hand in Kyouraku's when he offered it to her, the two of them looking happy and proud in their relationship.

Rangiku all but melted at the sight of them. Two thousand years and still very much in love. "Oh, how romantic," she sighed dreamily.

"Just make sure you don't mention it to Old Man Yama," Kyouraku suddenly muttered, she could almost hear the wince in his voice.

"Head-Captain Yamamoto?" Rangiku questioned as she snapped herself out of her thoughts. "Why?"

"He'll kill me."

Rangiku must have looked a little fearful for Captain Ukitake sent her a reassuring smile and patted Kyouraku's knee apologetically. "Sensei sees me as his daughter. He's a little...protective, I suppose you could say."

Rangiku barely suppressed a chuckle at the look of discomfort on Kyouraku's face as he protested the word protective in a rather whiny voice. This was all too wonderful to truly comprehend.

"And make sure you don't go gossiping to the other ladies in the Seireitei," Kyouraku added.

"And if I do happen to mention this to the Woman's Association?" Rangiku asked slowly, feeling somewhat proud and defiant.

Kyouraku and Ukitake shared a quick look before Ukitake turned to her and smiled brightly. "We'll tell Captain Hitsugaya where you keep your stashes of Sake, and yes, I know about the one you've hidden in the Koi pond at the Kuchiki residence. Oh, and I supposed it wouldn't hurt to mention about the ones hidden under the floorboards, right under Toshiro's desk, would it?"

This time Rangiku eeped. "I won't say a word!"