A/N: This is a product of all the stress I've been going through. It is not meant to be taken seriously, unless your on crack.

Disclaimer: I don't own the idea for TV advertising, but I do own this story.

Woman: Don't you hate when your child jumps on the bed, and no matter how many times you tell them to stop -

Mother: Jenny, stop jumping on the bed!

Jenny: Okay mom. *Stops jumping, but resumes within minutes.*

Woman: they keep doing it? It's a hazard for them - in more ways than one.

Jenny: *Hits the top of her head on the ceiling.* Ouch!

Woman: That is why I've created a new product that helps 'soften the blow.' My new 'Ceiling Pads,' keep children from injuring their skulls on the hard surface of the ceiling.

Jenny: *Jumps on the bed and her head connects with the Ceiling Pad. She smiles and keeps jumping.*

Woman: So even if your child continues to bounce on the mattress, she/he will not get hurt. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about some other...things.

Jenny: *Slides down the railing on her bottom and lands face-first on the floor.*

Mother: *Sighs and shakes head.*

Woman: The Ceiling Pad has a soft inside and a firm yet gentle exterior, so your child will be safe and unharmed...until they get caught that is.

*Mother is shown giving Jenny a sound whipping for jumping on the bed.*

Woman: The Ceiling Pad is just 9.95. And, for a limited time only, you can receive the 'Floor Pad,' when you order two Ceiling Pads. Hurry, this offer will not last long. The number to call is: 847-995-7540. Once again the -

*Unknown person walks in with a huge red bump on his head, scowling in annoyance.* Those damn things don't work. They have bricks hidden in the stuffing. They'll-

Woman: *Puts a cloth covered hand over the man's mouth. Man passes out.*

Woman: *Smiling a sweet, but fake, smile.* As I was saying, the number to call is - 847-995-7540.

A/N: Hmm...I wonder what's REALLY in hamburger meat...review!