SOS Onboard the Maid Star

First FML

'Neru's New Job'

"I hate her, I hate her, I hate her."

Akita Neru was glaring bitterly at Hatsune Miku, who was sat on the other side of the classroom. The turquoise-haired girl was surrounded by a circle of friends and admirers, as always, talking animatedly and stabbing her chopsticks into the air as she made certain points. Her usual crowd began to laugh at something or other she'd said, and Miku smiled brightly. It was a pretty smile. That smile was the reason everyone liked Miku so much. A lot more than they liked Neru, at least.

Neru had practised smiling in her bathroom mirror last night, but it hadn't worked.

The disturbing flatness of her chest, and her general lack of height, had simply left her feeling depressed and angry. Her smiles hadn't been sincere at all- they looked forced and scary. She'd come close to punching that stupid smirking mirror. How dare it show off her lack of curves and wrong proportions so candidly? In the end, Neru had given up trying to look 'cute', and instead settled for her usual scowl.

Miku had a nice smile, and a nice body.

Neru was sure she'd never been asked for her ID when trying to buy a fucking Pokemon game.

It wasn't fair.

Some people were so lucky.

"I hate her," Neru repeated bitterly.

"So you keep saying," sighed Gumi. "Shouldn't you be thankful that she found you a job?"

Urgh, that job.

That was another thing Neru was pissed off over.

She'd been fired from her last part-time job because she'd been 'unreliable' - but it was hardly her fault babysitting was so boring she kept falling asleep! And Yuki had been a smart kid anyway- she'd knew not to stick her fingers into electrical outlets or anything. It wasn't like she'd hurt herself. So what was the problem? And she only turned up late once or twice, or maybe even three times- maybe more than three times- but who was keeping count, really?

Honestly, some people were so childish.

And Neru had needed that job, so she could buy a cell phone.

Whilst Neru had been complaining about her tragic life to Gumi that morning, Miku had overheard, and offered Neru a job at the place she worked at.

"We're short on staff anyway!~" Miku had beamed her thousand watt beam, which practically blinded poor, starstruck Neru. Honestly, it had been like being in the presence of a celebrity; Miku was so popular, with so many friends and so many parties to attend to, Neru had never thought she'd have time to talk to little old her. 'Little' being the fucking key word.

"A bunch of the staff seem to be coming down with summer colds or something. How weird is that, right?" Miku had continued, unaware that she had intimidated Neru to the point of nearly giving her a heart attack/nervous breakdown. "And then Rio-chan went and broke her leg when she was rollerblading. So, we have lots of open spaces! You should definitely come, definitely!"


Neru had been so flustered (honestly. Her cheeks had been on fire. Like, burning), she could barely form words. She ducked her head, looked at the floor, and fiddled about nervously with the end of her ponytail.

"U-um... I-I gues... Eh... O-okay?"

"Great!~" Miku had chirruped, in that speciality Hatsune Miku sing-song way of her's. "I'll meet you outside school after last lesson, kay?"


And with that, Miku had gone.

And Neru realised, with a sinking heart, that she didn't even know what job she'd agreed to do, and she'd have to spend the rest of the afternoon Miss Fucking Perfect Hatsune- the idol of Vocaloid Acamedy- that everyone loved and adored and doted upon.

Except Neru.

Neru hated Miku.

Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate aboslutely detested.

"I can't believe I agreed to go with her," Neru said, slumping down on the desk. "Imagine, if I actually have to spend time with her... I think I'd die. God. Fuck. Hate her." Neru mumbled the last part rather incoherantly into her arms, head pressed against the table. "I am so going to write about this on ."

"Yay! Neru-chan! You came!"

"Hey, don't call me 'Neru-chan' like we're friends, okay, Hatsune?"

...was what Neru wanted to say.

Instead, she said "urk."

What was not nearly a good enough substitute.

Neru was stood by the school entrance, looking resolutely at her shoelaces as though they held the secrets of the inner workings of the universe. Her face had begun to flush that horrible burst-up tomato color. It didn't help that Miku hadn't come skipping (oh yes. Skipping. What with the none-too gentle breeze, there had been masses and masses of pigtail thrown everywhere) out of the school building by herself- oh no. Since when did Princess Miku ever go anywhere by herself? Tagging along behind her, talking to each other and laughing in a way that just exuded cool, were various members of Miku's extebsive entourage; Shion Kaito, Sakine Meiko, Megurine Luka, Kamui Gakupo, Lily, Kagamine Rin and (eek!) Kagamine Len.



Neru felt her heartbeat speed up. It was pounding so fast, she felt sure it would burst out her ribcage and fall onto the floor in a sticky, ugly, sanguine mess.

And wouldn't that be sooo attractive.

"Okay, you guys! You can go now!~" Miku said, waving her pose away, smiling as she did it. "Me and Neru-chan have some business-like matters to discuss, m'kay?"

"Okie dokie. Whatever you say, leader~" Kaito replied, with a goofy grin and a two-fingered salute. "Bye, Miku-chan. See you, Akita-san."

"Oh my gosh! I'm, like, totes gonna miss you!" Rin exclaimed, throwing her arms round Miku in a rather more violent than loving hug, which nearly bowled Miku over backwards onto her butt. Rin's over-sized hair ribbon bounced crazily as Rin moved. That ribbon, it was like her trademark- like Miku's trademark was that rainbow smile and the leeks in her bento box, and Neru's was hating everyone and, indeed, being hated by everyone in return. "Miku-nee-chan, let's see each other tomorrow, okay? Okay?"

"Of course!" Miku was quick to affirm- maybe because Rin was crushing her ribs, and she wanted to prise her off as quickly as possible.

"Yeah! Okay!" Rin released Miku from her death-grip. "See you tomorrow! Let's hang out again!"

"Bye, Miku-chan," said Len. He was Rin's calmer, much more mature brother, who aced every maths test and didn't go around hugging people so hard their bodies snapped in two. Even though he and Rin were virtually indentical appearance-wise, beneath the surface you couldn't have found more different siblings. Besides, if Len was anything like Rin, Neru'd have to kill herself, because one Rin was too much for almost anyone to handle. Unless you were stupidly nice. Miku-nice. "Bye, Akita-san."

"Bye, Akita-san."

Neru played that one last line over in her head, like on a CD.

He said my name.

He said it like it was nothing.

But it sounded so cool!

"Alright." Miku's cheery voice cut through Neru's reverie- which was probabaly a good thing, because if her face got any redder it'd explode. "Let's go, Neru-chan!"

"Huh what?"

"To your new job, of course!"

"Haha. Oh yeah."


Neru stared up at fairly standard brick building- but it was not the building she was seeing. Instead, her vision was completely preoccupied by the gaudy, colorful banner secured to the walls that declared, unabashedly, in bold font; 'MACNE NANA-CHAN'S MOE CAFE, FOR GREAT FOOD AND CUTE GIRLS ^_~'

What was worse, was that the winking emoticon was actually there.

What was worse, was pretty girl dressed in the maid outside standing outside, holding out flyers and trying to attract attention (what, like the huge banner hadn't done it already?)

What was worse, was that this was where Miku worked.

Neru was going to hyperventilate and pass out and drop dead, she knew it.

"What?" Miku turned to the blonde girl, all innocent eyes and cheery expression. "Didn't I tell you it was a maid cafe?"

a.n: written on a whim, uber-quickly, because I've wanted to make a maid cafe fic for oh so very long, and because there isn't enough neru/haku on this site :/ and it's so goshdarn adowable. srsly.
it probabaly won't be very long, but, ha! i say that about alllll my fanfictions XD