a/n: so this is my first ever Kuroshitsuji oneshot. i just felt i should my emotions out somehow after the latest episode of Kuroshitsuji II. I still can't believe that that happened. ;_; i'm still upset about it. so this is my interpertation of what Sebastian is thinking as he's walking away from Ciel and Claude at the end of the episode. there are spoilers. so you have been warned, if you haven't watched it and don't want spoilers then don't read till after you've watched the episode. but if you have seen it or don't care about spoilers that go ahead and go forward.

(edit: okay so i posted this a few weeks ago and i know it's a stupid thing to get irritated with but, i got a comment saying that I spelled Mey Rin's name wrong, but I know for a fact that i didn't. If you have the first book page 30 panel you can clearly see that Sebastian says her name and in the book it's spelled M-E-Y-R-I-N. So unless Yana is spelling her own characters names wrong, i'm not spelling her name wrong either. I'm sorry that just annoyed me a little bit and the more i thought about that comment the more it annoyed me. I'm not trying to be rude or anything i'm just trying to straighten something out.)


My Ciel….

:Sebastian's POV:

Bocchan, is this really happening? I feel numb, I can't move. Did you really leave me just like that, Bocchan? Or are you even you anymore? I don't really know. I'm walking down this empty path trying to keep my mind focused on dinner, but my mind keeps wandering back to you and your rejection. Is this really happening?

Is the bocchan that I've cared for for the past few years really gone? Is the bocchan that I cherished, served and even fell for really gone? I keep trying to focus my attention else where but it just keeps drifting back to you.

"Get out of my sight! That's an order!"

Did you really say that to me? You ordered it and I followed it, but should I have followed it? I should've saved you before he got his hands on you. I should've protected you better like all those times before. I should've never left you alone like I did. Why did I?

I know I should've heard you when you called me. I know I should've stopped messing around with fighting those two idiot shinigami when you were in danger. And now, now I'm paying for it. Because you're not here with me, Mey Rin, Finny, Bard, or Tanaka. You're with other servants because I couldn't stop what I was doing and come to your rescue immediately like I should have.

But fear not my bocchan, I will save you and help you remember right. I will untwist the two souls that he had combined and get you back to yourself. Hopefully you'll remember everything that happened before he stole away your soul the first time and then I'll be able to complete our contract after your revenge is complete. Or maybe I won't. I've grown so attached to you that now I don't want to let you go. I don't want to steal your soul anymore. So maybe I will keep you by my side forever.

I will rescue you, bocchan. A Phantomhive butler should at least be able to do that. After all;

'Watashi wa aku made shitsuji desu kara.'


a/n: well i hope you liked it. like i said. it was my first Kuroshitsuji oneshot and i know it was short but like i said i just wanted to get my sadness out about what happened. and yet i'm still sad about so, yeah. reviews are appreciated but not required thank you ^^