Disclaimer: I don't own BTR, and if I did…oh my God.
A/N: Holy. …Holy. I can't believe I actually wrote this. I wrote the plot, and I'm like "There's no way I'm gonna get the balls to write this." And I did, and here it is. This is the first story with a sex scene I've ever written, so I hope it's okay. (I've read a lot, so that helps, right?) This is written for the 100-theme challenge, which I know I'm going out-of-order in. Theme 16 – Questioning.
Kendall never really thought he'd be in a position like this. He's lying in his bed, but he's not alone. He's also not clothed. He's tangled with James, his best friend and bandmate, and he's naked. And so is James.
Now, this isn't some situation where he could say "this isn't what it looks like" if someone were to walk in. Because it's exactly what it looks like. It's not like James crawled over there and complained about being lonely, and then some fairy came down and made their clothes disappear, or something. This was legitimate. The words are in Kendall's mind, and he is thinking them, but too afraid to admit them, because that would make this whole situation real. And Kendall isn't quite sure if he wants this to be real or not.
He's almost wishing they hadn't done what they did. And at this point, Kendall is sick of saying "it," and is trying to make himself believe that he really just…had sex. With his best friend.
He sighs. The words repeat themselves in Kendall's mind, and he's beginning to believe them. He and James had sex. They really did. And now that that's over, he thinks, it's time to start freaking out.
Because, seriously, did they seriously just do that! Because he's straight! He likes girls! And so does James!
Okay, Kendall knows that's a lie. He's known he was gay for months before that. But he really didn't think James was. And Kendall knows as well that he may have possibly thought James was attractive for a little while. Or a long while. Whatever. Not like it matters. The idea that James actually returns those feelings is enough to make Kendall's head reel. And the scene that replays in his head, as his arms wrap around James' bare, sleeping form even tighter, sends shivers down his spine.
James' and Kendall's lips clash together as they fight with fabric, the true enemy here. Clothes are discarded at unknown parts of their shared bedroom. The kiss they're sharing was originally unplanned, but is completely welcomed between the two boys. The heat between them is becoming unbearable, and they're moaning into each other's mouths as they fall on Kendall's bed.
James is on top of Kendall, kissing him more passionately than before, if that is possible. Their tongues fight for dominance in a battle that Kendall wins, and James, being a bad sport about it, withdraws his tongue from the fight in their mouths and drags it down Kendall's neck and chest. When he reaches Kendall's nipple, he flicks his tongue over it and makes Kendall shudder and moan.
He's still on top and lets his hands wander down to Kendall's member. When his fingers first touch him there, Kendall knew he was a goner. He's already moaning and arching into James' touch and he's just putty in his hands. James just smirks as he continues to stroke him, harder and faster, and Kendall's moaning louder and more frequently and then James is kissing him again and it doesn't take very long at all for him to come.
"James…Oh, God, James…"
Their hands are all over each other and Kendall can feel himself getting hard again, which kind of disgusts him because didn't he just come? But James is whispering nothings into his ear as he strokes Kendall's chest and he finds he really doesn't mind. He latches his roaming hand on the back of James' head, pleased when he doesn't complain about messing his hair up, to pull him away from his ear so he can stare at him a moment. James' eyes are dilated and his lips are wet and he looks unbelievably hotter than usual. So Kendall smashes their lips together once more before James pulls away and looks at Kendall thoughtfully (and lustfully, Kendall thinks) for a moment.
He's kind of panting. "Yeah?"
Kendall knows what he's asking, and can't really believe the words he's hearing. But he realizes he's never wanted something so badly in his life. "Yes, please."
James gets off of Kendall to run quickly across the room to find what he needs, and Kendall knows what it is and it serves to excite him more. When James returns, he reclaims his spot on top of Kendall and wastes no time before beginning to prepare him, squeezing the substance held in the tube he just retrieved onto his fingers and pushing one slowly into Kendall. He gasps, adjusting to the odd feeling before nodding thirty-odd seconds later and James inserts another finger. The same process goes on for that and another until James withdraws his fingers altogether and kisses Kendall once more before flipping him over. He puts lubricant on himself and slowly pushes himself into him, and Kendall is gasping and panting all over again.
Obviously James had prepared him well, because it doesn't take too long for Kendall to tell him to move. And then he's thrusting gradually faster into Kendall and Kendall's panting and moaning as James is hitting the place that makes Kendall see spots, and James is moaning too and it's almost too much…
"Kendall, I love you."
Now it's too much.
He stops all noises before looking at James over his shoulder, who stops moving and is looking at Kendall and blushes – blushes. Since when does James Diamond blush?
"James, God, I love you too."
Instead of replying, James just starts thrusting again and they're back to where they were except it means so much more now – the words spoken still hanging in the air. James reaches around Kendall to grab his member and stroke him, hard, and Kendall's coming again, moaning James' name. With one last thrust, James is coming as well, and rolls out of Kendall to lie beside him. They kiss once more before James falls asleep.
Kendall sighs at this, idly running his thumb over James' back. His taste is still on Kendall's lips and he is almost feeling at peace for a moment.
But then he pulls a Logan and starts analyzing everything. He just had sex with his best friend. This could ruin everything. Their friendship, the band, and what about when Logan and Carlos found out? Would they find out? It's not like they need to, right? Unless they start dating. But then would they accept them? Oh, God. This is totally gonna ruin everything.
And they do love each other, Kendall knows; it wasn't some sort of thing they said in the throe of passion and would forget tomorrow. And how was he supposed to look at James tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that? Would they ever interact the same way again?
Did this all mean he was officially gay? Which is kind of a funny question, Kendall thinks, because he was gay, just not…out. Yet. But now he kind of is. At least, with James. And is James even gay? Well, he just had sex with a guy, so you'd think…whatever.
Was this wrong? Kendall had never even imagined this night would happen, and it did, and now Kendall is thinking that they shouldn't have done it because what if this ruins them, and all their hard work, and the years of friendship…
Suddenly, James stirs a little, burrowing his head further into the crook of Kendall's neck. "Kendall…" he murmurs sleepily, and Kendall turns his head to look at James, who seems to be talking in his sleep.
Yeah, no. Everything's gonna be fine, Kendall realizes. They're in love, and they know that, and everything else is going to fall in place.
A/N: It's funny that this took forever to write, and two seconds to read. _ Reviews are love, especially when I'm exploring a realm of writing I've never done before. Thank you for reading.