Drunken Shinobi



"Summons/Demon speaking"

'Summons/Demon thinking'

Several thugs entered a bar, acting as if they were the kings of the world. They sent lecherous grins towards the women and went up to the bar demanding the best alcohol the place had to offer. For the most part everyone tuned them out since they frequented the place a lot. Suddenly one of them, a guy with brown greasy hair and a crooked nose looked over to see a man sitting on a stool by himself at the other end of the bar. Everyone seemed to be giving him a wide berth, the only one who seemed comfortable around him was the bartender who just kept the man supplied with alcohol. If the dozens of bottles around the man were anything to go by, this guy was a damn heavy drinker.

"Hey, hey boss check it out," stated the man nudging a rather burly looking dark skinned bald man. Turning the man noticed who his friend was pointing to and started to size him up.

The guy had blonde hair that reached down to the nape of his neck with a square jaw and three whisker-like marks on his cheeks that stood out against his tanned skin as well as a headband with a slash going through the symbol of what appeared to be a spiraling leaf. He had startling blue eyes that were slightly bloodshot and held an icy edge to them. His cheeks were slightly red from the amount of alcohol in his system.

He was wearing a brown sleeveless jacket with no shirt and black gloves with gunmetal grey metal studs on the knuckles. He had on forest camo pants that were frayed at the ends with black boots on his feet, with metal lining the underside of his shoes. The man also supported various scars over his muscular body along with a silver hip flask that had the initials N.U etched into it.

"Heh, what do you say we go greet the newcomer fellas?" asked the dark skinned man to his fellow thugs. They all agreed and strutted over towards the guy, smirks on their faces. The blonde haired man glanced at them and mentally sighed.

'Great can't a guy just drink in peace?' grumbled the man.

"Apparently not kit, just kick their asses and get moving, I'm pretty sure the leaf is on their way here," stated the man's tenant.

The blonde grunted in acknowledgement as the thugs surrounded him. "You guys have three seconds to get away from me before I let out some pent up frustration," slurred the blonde taking a swig from a bottle of bourbon in front of him.

"Ha! Hear that guys? Looks like we're gonna have to teach this shithead a lesson," guffawed the leader as the others chuckled and moved in closer.

"Times up, don't watch the bottle," stated the drunken missing-nin. With that the blonde tossed an unopened bottle into the air, the eyes of the thugs following it.

With blinding speed, the blonde man slammed a fist into the jaw of the man with the crooked nose, a sickening crunch informing everyone that he had shattered his jaw. Another man hit the floor, missing several teeth and blood coming out of his broken nose.

With agility that shouldn't be possible after his level of drinking, the scarred nuke-nin sweep kicked two other men and while they were still in the air slammed both of his fists into the airborne thugs stomachs, causing them to hit the floor with a painful thud both instantly blacking out from the pain.

There was only the leader left and he hit the floor when the blonde delivered a bone shattering kick to the one spot no man ever wants to be kicked wth that kind of power. As he lay gasping for breath, the nuke-nin casually caught the bottle, opened it and said, "I told you not to watch the bottle," with that he took a long swig from the bottle and left the place, making sure to stomp onto the leader's face for good measure. Everyone watched him go with a mixture of awe and fear.

Once outside the blonde walked a ways before he turned around to see three people following him. One had pink hair, green eyes pale skin and was using her headband as a hair band. She was wearing a red skintight shirt with no sleeves, pink elbow protectors, black gloves and black skin tight shorts that reached just pas her mid thigh and black Shinobi sandals. On her right thigh was a kunai holster.

Next to her was a boy with long black hair that reached to his lower back with a black headband with the Konoha symbol on it. He had fair white skin with pupil less grey eyes, signifying him as a Hyuuga while he wore the traditional black and white robes of the Hyuuga clan. A black and tan drawstring bag was slung over his shoulder.

Finally there was a boy with black short spiky hair and feral looking onyx eyes. He too wore the Konoha headband and he had tan skin with red triangles under his eyes and sharp canines that nearly poked out of his upper lip. He wore a form fitting black jacket with matching pants and black ninja sandals. He had sharp nails and beside him was a large white dog. There was no mistaking that this guy was an Inuzuka.

"Hey Sakura, how are you and Sasuke getting along? He still treat you like the worthless fan-girl you are or did he finally become straight and take you up on your offer to fuck like rabbits?" asked the blonde haired man to the pink haired girl now known as Sakura. Sakura frowned at this and in her eyes you could see a bit of hurt at his words.

"Naruto, we're here to take you back," stated the Hyuuga boy with a calculating monotone. "Give up now and come quietly or we will use force," warned the black haired boy.

"How about this Neji, you, miss flat chest and Kiba go home and tell Tsunade to fuck off now while you still have your dignity, or you can get your ass whooped by a drunken dead last," slurred Naruto as he unhooked his flask and took a drink. With a satisfied sigh, Naruto belched and put the flask back on his belt, seeming to stumble a bit as he did so.

"Ha! I'd like to see you try!' scoffed Kiba as he got into his clan's fighting style. "I can smell you from here and you're too drunk to stand, much less fight! Right Akamaru?" The dog barked in agreement.

"Glad to see the leaf village is still as informed as ever," Naruto stated sarcastically, "Then again, knowing you Kiba, you were probably too busy ogling the old drunk's breasts to pay attention ya horny mutt," stated Naruto with a smirk as Kiba narrowed his eyes at the drunk shinobi angrily.

"I'm gonna make you regret those words you drunk bastard!" shouted Kiba. With that the boy leapt into the air and started spinning at the blonde at high speeds, forming a giant drill. Naruto just bent at an almost perfect 90 degree angle watching with half lidded eyes as the drill that was Kiba barely missed him. Without missing a beat Naruto reached up and grabbed the tail end of the drill, effectively stopping the jutsu and slammed the surprised Kiba into the ground so hard that he bounced. As Kiba bounced, Naruto delivered a powerful punt kick, sending the dog boy tumbling back to his friends where he landed in a heap groaning in obvious pain.

"There's a reason I'm listed as an S-rank missing-nin Kiba, as well as there's a reason they call me the master of Suijutsu," Naruto said as he gave a bloodshot glare to them.

"Suijutsu?" asked Kiba, as both Neji and Sakura sighed. They had been told about it before from Tsunade but apparently Naruto had been right when he said Kiba was too busy ogling Tsunade's breasts to pay attention.

Naruto face palmed and gave an exhausted sigh, "I seriously wonder how Konoha is considered on of the greatest village's," Naruto mumbled to himself before he said, "Suijutsu or drunk technique, is the art of using alcohol in combat, which includes something similar to Lee when he fights drunk only I can use genjutsus, ninjutsus AND the taijutsu Lee uses, which is the reason WHY I'm considered an S-rank ninja," explained Naruto. Still seing Kiba's blank look Naruto decided to slow it down a bit.

"Have you seen Lee fight when drunk?" asked Naruto. Kiba nodded. "Well I can do the same thing as him only with a LOT more power and I can use a lot of very powerful jutsus that would make the Hiraishin, Rasengan, Chidori and Kurenai's best genjutsu look like academy level techniques," explained Naruto with a smirk as he saw Kiba's jaw drop. 'Unfortunately to use those techniques I need a LOT of alcohol at hand' Naruto mentally noted.

"True, but thanks to that contract we found the stuff we need is but a drop of blood and a couple hand seals away," Kyuubi reminded his host. Naruto mentally agreed with him on that.

"Naruto you're coming back home whether you want to or not," Sakura declared, effectively breaking him out of his mental chat with Kyuubi.

"Are you stupid or blind Sakura-ama (bitch)?" Naruto asked with an annoyed look as Sakura gasped at being called that by the boy who had used to ask her on dates constantly. "I told everyone in Konoha that I was done with the place, so it is in no way shape or form my home, thus the obvious slash through my headband," Naruto stated while tapping the metal plate on his forehead. "Besides, none of you have ever given two shits about me anyway," shrugged the blonde.

"That's not true Naruto, many people miss you and none more so than Hinata-sama," stated Neji as he recalled 3 years ago how the girl had refused to leave her room for a week after Naruto left and was announced a missing-nin. Everyone still wondered why Naruto had left in the first place, but the only ones who seemed to know were Tsunade, the council and Jiraiya as well as the jounin senseis but they had refused to tell.

Naruto snorted, "Let me guess none of you know why I left, do you?"

"No, but it doesn't matter because the hokage and council have ordered that you are returned alive," Sakura said firmly, but she too wondered why Naruto had left. One minute he had been there, all happy and everything then the next day he had stood on top of the Hokage Monument and announced he was leaving the village and when Kakashi, Tsunade, and Jiraiya tried to stop him he had actually attacked them and escaped!It was revealed later that all three hadn't expected Naruto to use his drunken fist to get past them, hell they didn't even know he could use the drunken fist! No one did.

"Fine, then its only fair to warn you what will happen if I come back," Naruto stated, his posture and voice immediately becoming sober. In a burst of speed he knocked Neji and Kiba away and appeared behind Sakura, a kunai pressed against her throat and his mouth next to her ear.

"I will leave again, only this time, I will KILL everyone who attempts to stop me," Naruto whispered as Sakura's eyes widened in surprised horror.

A/N: Done. Dear god if I make one more story something tells me I'll never complete a single one I already have but I just HAD to write this one. Besides no one else has written a story about a Naruto using the power of the drunk. I know this chapter is pretty serious but trust me I'm gonna make this story funny. Please R&R and tell me, what animal do you think Naruto should summon because toads just don't cut it.